Becoming Me
Epilogue
Tears filled my eyes, as I stood in front of the mirror in the massive Versace. The white material that was draped around me, and it fit perfectly- the dress wasn't nearly ready but I could already see that Donatella really did know what I wanted. I'm sure that Tommy wouldn't be able to tell if I came to the church just like this, withought all the lace and detail put on and I'll still look good. I think as far as he's concerned if I turned up in jeans and a vintage tee he'd still be happy. I think eloping crossed his mind a few times, but I wanted a big white wedding so this was what we settled on. I looked into the mirror and wiped my eyes, a massive smile lighting up my face.
Sadie's grin matched mine, and I noticed that her hand went over her stomach protectively. Since everything happened so fast, I can't even remember the day Sades announced that she would be having a baby and this time it was a boy, she was about seven and a half months along so conveniently, and the wedding will be in 3 months.
Just at that moment Courtney came in and looked at a glowing Sadie and a teary-eyed Jude. She smiled instantly as her eyes scanned over Jude's unfinished dress.
"Well daddy's defiantly gonna like that" She smiled at me, and opened her arms out just as I flew into them. Courtney had been touring for almost 6 months and I didn't have the heart to disturb the new "pop princess of the industry." As Darious put it. So we had very little contact over the months. Courtney's hair was now a light brown colour and her blue eyes looked very eager to tell me everything. Before she spoke though she studied me, and I studied her.
It seemed that only yesterday we had met but it would now be 5 years this year, and it had been a little less than five when Tommy and me got engaged. We decided to wait so the wedding would be a summer one and it would take place in my castle in France, where it was guaranteed to be sunny. Then we will make our way to Italy for the honeymoon.
"So did you meet anyone on tour?" I sent a questioning glance toward Courtney's left hand and Courtney instantly blushed.
"Well not exactly.." She trailed off but Sadie and mine gazes kept transfixed on her, just waiting for her to finish. With a deep breath Courtney began:
"Okay so I know you told me that getting back together with Chris will be a bad idea, but he was so sweet and funny, and I agreed to go on a date with him in Greece, and oh god he proposed and was so sweet, and cute and he gave me those damn big eyes that I love so much." How she said that in one breath I would never understand.
"Okay, so you said yes, right?" I asked, and looked at her left hand. Okay so the diamond was big and she did look happy- what the heck, we'd deal with Tommy later.
"Of course, and he was so sweet, saying we can wait and so thoughtful… wait you're not mad?" She asked me and I just shook my head and a warm smile crept up onto my face, "Your dad, however is a completely different story. But we'll make it work" I said, confidently.
"Thanks Jude, you know I love you, right?" Courtney said, and that made me tear up again. Finally I blurted out quickly.
"I'm pregnant." Phew relief washed over me as Sadie and Courtney ran up to hug me and I just smiled to myself.
I had everything I need: a fiancé, a loving family and a new baby on the way. Tommy was of course very happy, he literally screamed out in joy. I was happy too, nervous but happy. My career had taken a big detour. I hadn't worked as much but I still received an Oscar for one of the biggest box office hits, which was nice as always. Also I had released 2 platinum albums and I even had time to tour one summer. It was unbearable to be away from Tommy and Courtney but it had to be done for me, because I needed to find the way back the girl I was back in my teenage days, the girl full of fire and humour. The girl who fell for guys easily and the girl who knew who she was. Now I was that girl again, older and wiser but still I was THAT girl (ironic huh? I always new that song would hold a special place in my heart.)
And Tommy will never understand by what I mean 'I became me again', but I did. He, and Toronto helped me get back to that foolish 18-year-old girl that I was back then, and sure most things stayed the same here but it was somehow different. The look that Tommy gives me every morning kind of like he expects me to leave one day and never come back. Or the look Sadie gives me every time she sees me, the look that's a mixture of relief that I hadn't gone MIA again, and there was of course happiness that she still had the chance to see me. Courtney and me had become somewhat of best friends, kind of like Gilmore girl, we'd always joked. I think it was because my mother, or Victoria as I liked to call her, and me had never connected in that ways so it was important to have a good relationship with Courtney.
We'd made new friends, and of course the paparazzi were always haunting Tommy and I but still, life was the way it was meant to be. I was happy with Tommy and I knew Courtney would be happy with Chris.
It took me and Tommy 10 years, and as long as Courtney didn't get hurt like I did and she was happy everyday of her life I'd be happy.
I was happy right then, because my phone vibrated and I immediately knew it was Tommy because the ID was 'my love' (I did that to annoy Tommy with the JT reference, but still that was one damn good song) and when I answered it the first words I heard were:
"Hello my love," and I knew right then that my life would only get better from here because I had everything I needed, and I was comfortable with who I was, and who I had become.