Night is giggling in the corner as Ryuu shakes his head dismally.

"Where…do you come up with this…" Ryuu mutters in disbelief.

"I was in the kitchen making hot chocolate and I randomly though, 'Hehehe, Sasuke's a bastard…then this!!!!" Night proclaims.

Eira sighs, "You're such a psycho…"

…………………………………………………………

Sasuke sighed as he hung up his coat on the coat stand, "Another D-ranked mission…Now I wish I'd never defected to Orochimaru…"

A gasp echoed from the living room and Sasuke spun, Sharingan active, "Who's there?" He called and flipped the lights on.

Sitting in the middle of the floor with a black book was Namikaze Naruto, His nine golden fox tails swishing on the floor.

"What the hell Naruto?!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto looked up wide-eyed, "Sasuke…you're a bastard!"

"Naruto, You fricking scared me, and now all you can say is I'm a Bastard?!" Sasuke sank onto a chair.

"No, dude, really…I was reading your moms diary, and you are a bastard." Naruto said, wide-eyed.

Sasuke sat up, "What?"

An evil laugh filled the air, "Sasuke…you have been to lax in your hatred…Now…I will kill you!" Uchiha Itachi appeared in front of the two men, a katana in his hand.

"You!" Naruto yelled, pointing and surprising them all.

"Me?" Itachi asked.

"You! Did you know Sasuke was a bastard?" Naruto asked.

"…Sasuke's a bastard?..." Itachi regarded the younger Uchiha, who watched them stunned, "Hmm…That explains his distinctly un-Uchiha hair…This changes everything…" Itachi pondered to himself for a moment. Suddenly he snapped his attention to Naruto. "You, kitsune, who is Sasuke's father?"

Naruto scanned the diary, then looked up, "…Hatake…Kakashi…"

Itachi nodded, "I see…Then I must conceive a child with this 'Hatake Kakashi' and Sasuke can train it to hate me, then he and the child can kill me, that way it will me like I was killed by a full blooded Uchiha and a Hatake! Train my child well Sasuke, I refuse to be killed by a weak Uchiha! I am off!" Itachi jumped out of a window.

Sasuke blinked, "…you heard that right?"

Naruto nodded slowly, "Every damn word…"

…………………………………………………….

Sasuke nodded at the 13-year-old girl in front of him, "And that Amaya, is the reason you were born."

The girl deadpanned, "That's…really sad…."