Comfort
At Heart
Chapter
4: Coming Together
A few more days passed. Every night they slept in each others' arms brought them closer, but Logan and Ororo had yet to talk seriously about what was happening between them. This was new to them. They had never been in a situation where they felt so strongly for another person that they were willing to call it love.
It was ironic in many ways. This was supposed to be an issue reserved for confused teenagers, not a couple of adults. Then again, their situation was anything but typical. While Ororo had some experience with relationships in Africa, none were ever this serious. Logan didn't even have memories of his relationships, let alone love. But there was no denying this unseen force was drawing them together. Sooner or later, they would have to confront it.
Rumors persisted about their involvement, but nobody was brave enough to call them out on it. All it took was a grunt from Logan and everybody shut up. Maybe when they could make sense of it all they would come clean. In the meantime, Logan and Ororo went about their business with this matter never far from their minds.
While Logan was not one to seek advice, Ororo took a different approach. One afternoon she and Jean were working on a new Danger Room routine in the observation deck. Being the most mature and most experienced in matters of love, Jean would know best how to handle Ororo's situation. It was just a matter of it not being so awkward.
"How's it look, Storm?" asked Jean, looking up from the main computer screen.
"Okay on my end," she said, keeping an eye on the holograms that formed below, "A few more obstacles near the middle couldn't hurt. We don't want everybody thinking we're going easy on them now."
"Boy, you are hanging out with Logan too much," grinned Jean, "That sounds like something he would say."
"Doesn't mean it's not rational," she argued.
"True, but it's still worth pointing out."
Ororo didn't argue the point. There was no use fueling suspicion even though Jean was not the gossiping type. Having bore the blunt end of the same chatter when she and Scott first hooked up, she knew better than anybody what it was like to have one's personal life under a microscope. Even though she was young and inexperienced, she had insight Ororo didn't. And it was time she sought help.
"Jean, can I ask you something?" she said as the younger redhead kept typing.
"Of course, Ororo. What is it?"
"It…may sound kind of strange coming from me to you," said the goddess awkwardly, "But I'm curious…you're in love with Scott, right?"
Jean looked up from the console. The subject of love and relationships always caught her fancy, given how much experience she had with it in dealing with her feelings for Scott. Ironically, it was Ororo who first led her to confront her feelings. Now their roles had been utterly reversed.
"Yes, I'd definitely say so," she said.
"Well if you don't mind me asking, how did you know?" asked Ororo, "What exactly did it feel like knowing you were in love with someone?"
Jean got up and sat back on the console. She had Ororo's full attention as she casually leaned against the glass, folding her arms in anticipation for what her young pupil turned colleague was about to say.
She needed a moment to think it over. The love between her and Scott was a well-known fact, but it was also very complicated. Jean honestly didn't know where to start, so she just sighed and went only from what she remembered most.
"Honestly, it was kind of scary," she began, "It really messes with you, feeling so utterly drawn to somebody in a way you can't rationalize. At first, I wrote it off. I just thought it was adolescent hormones messing with my mind. But I learned it there was more to it."
"Like what?" asked Ororo intently.
"Little things mostly," she went on, "Like how the way you look at them changes from being no different then how you look at the rest of your friends to being something entirely unique. I can't tell you exactly when it happened. But there was always this one moment that stood out where I started to feel like maybe Scott and I shared something special?"
"Really? What was that if you don't mind me asking?"
Jean paused, her gaze diverting from the former goddess as her thoughts wandered back to that fateful moment when her life changed forever.
"It was back when my powers went haywire," she said in a distant tone, "I know it sounds odd since it was such a traumatic event, but aside from that I most remember how Scott saved me. He risked his life and reached out to me, saying how he knew me better than anybody has or ever will. He made himself so vulnerable, not just physically but psychically as well. That's when I reached out to him and that special bond between us began. And you know where that eventually led."
Ororo smiled as well, remembering vividly how she and Scott officially became an item after the Mystique incident. At the time she didn't understand why she held it in for so long, but with her situation with Logan she knew first hand how hard it was. And for that she had a new respect for Jean.
"So that's when you knew it was serious?" said Ororo.
"I'd say so," said Jean with a proud smile, "It was definitely worth destroying the med lab, although I'm sure Professor X would disagree."
"Well he did have to pay for it," she said with a laughed, "So how did you and Scott go about taking that step from friends to lovers?"
Jean shook her head and smiled again. She had been asking herself that same question ever since that fateful first kiss and she still didn't have an answer. She gave up trying to rationalize it and Ororo had yet to learn the simple truth.
"To be perfectly honest, Ro, it just happened," she shrugged.
"Just happened?" said Ororo in confusion, "How?"
"I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. I'd like to know the answer myself, but if there's one thing I've learned since Scott and got together it's that love is not rational. You just feel it and you know it. And if two people feel strongly enough about each other it all works out in the end. You just have to be willing to open up and be honest with yourself."
Ororo sat on that for a moment. It wasn't the most clean cut answer she was looking for, but it made sense in a ways. She had been trying to rationalize that night with Logan since it happened and she was no closer now than she was then. But in this light she thought about it differently. She really did feel something for this man and it was strong. Trying to make sense of it wasn't doing her any good. Maybe it was time to stop thinking and start acting.
She cast Jean a warm expression. For a girl still in her teens, she was wise beyond her years. Irony was an amazing thing. The student had helped the teacher and for the first time Ororo had a plan. She refused to spend another night in uncertainty. Ready or not, she was going to face her feelings.
"Thanks Jean, you've been a big help," she said, turning off the console and making her leave.
"Wait, where are you going?" asked Jean.
"Just out for a walk," she said casually, "You can finish without me. I'll see you later."
"Okay," shrugged Jean, "See you later, Ororo. I hope everything works out for you."
"Me too."
Later that evening Logan came back from a long bike ride. It was his way of clearing his head from the ongoing stresses back at the mansion. The brisk summer wind blowing over him as he rode his Harley down the Westchester back roads helped him relax. If only dealing with emotions were this simple he wouldn't still be struggling for answers with Ororo.
He arrived back just in time to see Scott and Jean heading off for another date. He stopped his bike midway up the driveway, observing for the first time how his first two students interacted when they thought no one was watching. It was strange because he never gave Scott and Jean's relationship too much thought before. He knew they shared a special bond, but he wrote it off as something he couldn't and didn't want to understand.
But things were different now. He actually found himself intrigued by how Scott and Jean interacted. There was a look in their eyes that said more than words could ever describe. It wasn't verbal, overt, or rational. But it was there and it was very strong.
"Ready to go?" said Scott, guiding her into the passenger seat of his car.
"Always ready for you, babe," smiled Jean as she strapped in for the ride.
They shared an affectionate kiss. This was usually the point where Logan rolled his eyes and looked away, but this time he watched. And from this simple expression of love, he smiled. He was hardly a romantic yet here he was appreciating it.
Then he noticed something else. The way in which Scott looked at Jean was eerily similar to the way he looked at Ororo. He wasn't psychic so he couldn't tell if he was feeling the same things he felt, but the subtleties were clearly there.
He kept watching until they drove away. They even waved as they passed him. He didn't wave back, but they knew he wished them well. He always had and now it seemed more meaningful. It was ironic in some ways because he used to criticize Scott for not making a move on Jean. Now he knew first hand how tough it was.
He rode his bike the rest of the way into the garage. There waiting for him, casually leaning against the X-van was the goddess he now shared a bed with. From the looks of it she had been waiting for a while and when she saw him she greeted him with a smile.
"I knew you'd show up here if I waited long enough," she said, "You can't resist an evening ride at sunset."
"You know me well, darlin'," he said, parking his bike and taking off his jacket, "So what's up? I'm sure you didn't wait here just to say hi."
The look on Ororo's face grew serious. Logan had come to know that look well and tensed somewhat as she approached him. She wasn't upset or angry, but something was definitely on her mind.
"We need to talk," said the former goddess bluntly.
"What kind of talk?" asked Logan, "Is it one I'll need another bike ride after?"
"Please don't throw sarcasm at this, Logan. I really need you be serious."
"Fine, I'll be serious," he said with a slight groan, "Can we go somewhere private?"
"Of course," she said with relief, "We'll do this in my room."
Placing his trust in the hands of the former weather goddess, Logan followed her into the mansion and up to her room. It was a path he had walked a million times before, especially in the past few weeks. But this time felt different. His instincts told him she wasn't grabbing him aside to discuss sleeping arrangements. It was the same instinct that had served him so well through many battles and for the first time it made him uneasy.
When they reached her room, Ororo closed the door and locked it. This was quite possibly the most important talk she would ever have so there could be no interruptions. She watched as Logan paced near the foot of her bed, trying to act casual when his body language gave away so many emotions.
At first there was silence. Ororo was the one who asked him up here and she didn't know where to begin. After her talk with Jean she was committed to doing this. She just didn't expect it to be so hard.
"Should I sit down?" said Logan, breaking the silence.
"Whatever makes you comfortable," she replied.
Logan sat at the foot of her bed, feeling somewhat more relaxed. Ororo chose not to and started pacing in front of him. She was avoiding eye contact, a clear sign that she was conflicted. More silence followed and Logan couldn't stand it.
"Are you gonna tell me why we're doing this or not?" he asked impatiently.
"I am. I just need to gather myself," she began in an annoyed tone, "You and I both know what this is about and we've been avoiding it long enough. I don't want to mess this up so please just bear with me."
Logan shifted uncomfortably. Sometimes he hated having instincts that were right. He wasn't ready for this. He still hadn't made sense of it. But Ororo was right. They couldn't put it off forever. Something had to give. Ready or not, it was time. So like the brave Wolverine he was, he dove right in.
"Just say what ya gotta say, darlin'. I promise I'll listen," he said sincerely.
Ororo took a deep breath. She kept pacing, preparing for the emotional roller coaster that was sure to come.
"Before you came to me that first night we spent together, you and I were friends. We liked each other and respected each other. Can we agree on that?"
"I'd say so," answered Logan.
"And there was nothing wrong with it. But when two people share what we shared, it changes things," she said in a conflicted tone, "You can't just get close to someone and expect not to feel anything. And I definitely felt something that night."
"So did I," said Logan, rising up from the bed, "And I've been just as confused about it as you. You know I don't do emotions well. Hell, neither of us does."
"I would argue nobody can under these circumstances," said Ororo, moving in closer to his warmth, "But I realized something today…something we both know, but won't admit. I'm not sure how you'll take it, so I'll just come out and say it."
Logan listened intently. The former goddess hesitated, looking away briefly before staring him in the eye and saying what needed to be said.
"I'm in love with you, Logan," she said with emotion flowing from her tone, "And I…I think you're in love with me too."
Those words echoed with uncanny power. Logan had faced sentinels, Magneto, Apocalypse, and Weapon X. But none of them could hold a candle to this. If anyone else had told him he was in love, he would have scoffed without a second thought. But looking into the ocean blue eyes of this goddess of a woman, it was undeniable.
For a moment, they stood in silence. Neither one of them knew what to say. It was a profound thing to process. Then Logan finally broke the silence.
"You're right," he told her, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"So you felt it too?" said Ororo with great relief.
"Of course I did. How could I not?" he said, slipping his arms around her waist, "I don't feel easy. But I feel for you, darlin'. And that's the main problem."
"What do you mean?" said Ororo in confusion, "Why would that be a problem?"
"Because it's dangerous to be involved with me," he said with firm intent, "I have a long list of enemies in case you've forgotten. They're all ruthless enough to use anything and everything to get to me. And I can't have you caught up in that mess."
"So you say you love me, but not enough to risk making something of it?" she said angrily.
"It ain't like that, Ro."
Ororo pulled out of his grasp and turned away, hiding a look of bitter anger.
"You're making excuses."
"I'm trying to look out for you!" exclaimed Logan, "You have any idea what Sabretooth would do to you if he knew hurting you would hurt me back?"
"You think I don't know the risks? Are you trying to scare me out of loving you?" she shot back, "Need I remind you I was used by a 5,000-year-old mutant tyrant! I've lived my worst nightmares! Trust me, I don't scare easy!"
"That's not the point!" retorted Logan, "Put yourself in my shoes for a second! Could you live with yourself if someone you loved suffered just because you were involved? You want that on your conscious?"
They were harsh words, but they bore some hard truth. Logan and Ororo lived in a complicated world under complicated circumstances. It was impossible to just write these issues off.
They were silent for a moment, taking some time to calm down and think about this. Logan had a point. He couldn't live with himself if something happened to her just because they were involved. Ororo knew that burden well enough from Apocalypse to understand. There was no way around it.
Logan was at an end. He was faced with two choices. Either put this woman's life at risk and share this feeling with her or push it aside and protect her. It was either his heart or his brain. There were a million reasons why Ororo shouldn't be involved with him, but none of them were good enough to make him want her any less.
"I'm sorry, darlin'," he said in a low tone, "I can't change the way I feel about you and I can't do anything about the baggage being me carries."
"Don't be sorry, Logan," she said in a calmer voice, "It's not your fault."
"Maybe so," he conceded, "But where do we go from here? It's not like we can have a normal relationship."
"Does that matter, Logan?" pondered the former weather goddess, "I love you and you love me. Can't we just work off that?"
Ororo stepped back into his warmth, slipping her arms around his neck and tracing her finger down his burly face. Her touch was warm and soothing to the former living weapon. He returned the gesture, enrapturing her with his powerful arms and holding her close.
"Ro…" he said, his voice still full of uncertainty.
"Shh, don't say another word," said Ororo, placing a finger over his lips, "We've agonized over this. Either we take the next step or stop right now. It's time to choose. I know what I want. I just need to know if you want it too."
Logan gazed helplessly into her eyes. As a battle hardened warrior, he didn't flinch easy. But in the arms of a goddess every one of his defenses crumbled. It was all on him now. He had to decide and be damn sure he made the right choice. But rather than think over it as he had been trying to do since the beginning, he let his actions say what he couldn't.
He gently cupped her chin and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. It wasn't the answer Ororo expected, but she went with it and soon found herself kissing back. A brisk gust blew around them. In her current state the winds mimicked her emotions. It was a surreal yet fitting addition to the moment.
So many forces were working against them. They both had enemies that would exploit them and doubts that still haunted them. But in the end it all boiled down to that one underlying feeling. There was no rationalizing it. There was no escaping it. They had fallen in love and there was no going back.
"By the Goddess…" gasped Ororo as they parted.
"Takes one to know one," said Logan coyly.
"I take it this makes us official," she surmised.
"I guess so," he shrugged, "So what happens now?"
It was a simple question that could have so many answers. Clinging firmly to the strong man before her, Ororo smiled and started kissing him again. Only this time it was more impassioned, filled not just with love but also with lust and desire. Logan returned her gesture with equal fervor, his feral instincts taking hold as he craved this woman on another level.
It was so sudden, but then again so was everything else about this relationship. Rather than resist, they both just went with it.
"Ro…is this what I think it is?" he asked in a husky tone.
"You're the one with the super senses," she said in a sultry tone, "What do you think?"
"Gotcha," he grinned, "Are you sure?"
"Of course," she smiled, "Just do what you do best and follow your instinct."
"I can do that," he said with a wolfish grin.
What followed next drifted off into a daze of love, lust, and passion. Logan and Ororo fell onto the bed, kissing and touching in a heated tryst. Clothes soon came off and their natural instincts took over. Once fully nude, their bodies came together and they made love. It was very intense, intimate, and profound. They were both so closely tied to nature and when they made love they did it with the feral vigor that so greatly defined them.
It was an amazing union. The goddess and the animal came together, sharing a feeling so wonderful and so passionate. Logan and Ororo had endured a lot of pain in their lives. They had both experienced darkness at the deepest level and come out stronger. No one could understand what it was like to go through something so horrible. Yet in the end it brought them together.
They made love until their bodies gave out. With a desperate gasp, Ororo collapsed atop her burly lover. Sweaty and exhausted, the looked up at one another in a content daze of passion.
"I love you, Logan," she said softly.
"Love you too, darlin'," he said, planting one last kiss on her forehead, "You think a goddess and an animal can really make it work?"
"You know it, bub. Now shut up and kiss me."
Never one to argue with a goddess, Logan kissed his lover. From there they snuggled close and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Their lives had taken a new and unexpected turn. What started off in Ororo's bed had ended in the same place in a most fitting way. Logan and Ororo now shared a special bond. It went beyond their understanding. And at its heart, it all came back to comfort at heart.
The End
AN: Please don't forget to leave a review. Feedback is really important to me and I implore you all to give me your criticism. Thank you.