Summary: Somebody has a very cruel sense of humor when it comes to Christmas gifts... Pity Cloud and Tifa! PITY THEM!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I don't own the song in its original form. I do, however, own this new version of it!

Queen's Quornor: Holiday fics and songfics are fun to do. They can be a real pain from time to time, but for the most part they are a lot of fun. Last year, I did a Christmas fic for Devil May Cry called "Santa Demon", and this year I wanted to do something a little different. I'd been mulling over the possibilities since before Thanksgiving, and one day the idea just hit me like a lightning bolt while I was on Photobucket and saw this series of pictures collectively titled "The 13 Days of X-Mas" for Kingdom Hearts. So this fic's been in the planning stages for several weeks now. I also had to reword more of the song than I had originally anticipated, since I don't think they celebrate Christmas on Gaia, there being no evidence of Christ in-canon and all. So, it has been ordained: the Christmas holiday on Gaia is known as Yuletide! Hope you all enjoy it!

Day One

On the first day of Yuletide, someone evil sent to me...

"Cloud, can you get the door?" Tifa yelled from the kitchen. "I can't leave the stove!"

"Sure, Teef!" Cloud got up from his maps, timesheets, and the list of orders he had scattered across one of the tables in the bar and went to the door. Planning his route for the next few days was always a pain, and he was more than happy for the distraction. The swordsman took a deep breath, feeling his mouth water at the delicious scents wafting out from the kitchen. Tifa was in the middle of her Yuletide cooking, making fudge, cookies, candies, chocolate dips, and all manner of assorted goodies for their friends and acquaintances. She always sent them some, including Rufus and the Turks since they had helped out with the Remnants, but kept plenty for Cloud and the kids.

Cloud always put on a few extra pounds at this time of year, mostly due to his damnable sweet tooth.

Getting to the door, he opened it, expecting to see yet another person with a cardboard box and a location for him to deliver it to.

Instead, he blinked. Twice.

Yuffie was standing on the stoop, a huge smile on her face and a big red ribbon around her neck. She had been basically hog-tied with crimson satin, sealed with a knot complex enough that she would never be able to extract herself without some serious help. "Hey Cloud!" she greeted cheerfully.

Cloud gaped for a moment. "What are... How did you... What..." he stammered, unable to process how Yuffie could possibly have gotten here tied up like that.

"Godo kicked me out for the holidays, like he always does. Then some dude snatched me, wrapped me up in ribbon, and dumped me here. He said I was the first gift he was giving to you this year." The ninja wiggled, a motion that reminded the swordsman of a snake. "Didn't hurt me at all. Not that I would have let him, anyway. If he had so much as touched me, I would have kicked his ass straight to the moon!"

Cloud sighed and picked the mostly-immobile ninja up to carry her inside, plunking her down on a chair. "Stay there. I'm going to go get a knife."

The ninja's eyes rolled. "Sure, Cloud. It's not like I'm going anywhere, anyway."

He might have believed that, if he didn't know Yuffie so well. "Just stay there," he instructed as he walked into the kitchen. Tifa glanced at him while he opened a drawer, searching for a knife.

"Is that Yuffie out there?" she asked, fishing some pretzals out of the melted chocolate in one pot.

"Yeah. Her father kicked her out and somebody tied her up in ribbon before delivering her to us." The swordsman found a knife and turned to leave, intending to free the ninja from her somewhat unorthodox prison.

"What?!" Tifa dropped the pretzals and turned off the stove, moving the pots to the back burners before racing in to assess the situation. Both she and Cloud groaned when they saw her.

Yuffie had somehow hopped across the floor while Cloud was in the kitchen and gotten behind the bar. She had found Tifa's special reserves and claimed a bottle of purple liquor for herself, prying the cork out with her teeth and tilting the bottle upwards using just her mouth. She set the half-empty bottle back down and licked her lips, shooting her stunned friends a toothy grin.

"That's some good shit, Tifa! What is it?"

"A bottle I found in the City of the Ancients, dated to about two thousand years ago." Tifa sighed and took the knife from her blond friend, sawing at the ribbon with a resigned air. "I have no idea how potent it is. Yuffie, why did Godo kick you out?"

"He always does around Yuletide, ever since I stole all the presents in town when I was eleven." Yuffie swayed dangerously as the martial artist cut her free. "Cloud, why are there five of you?" she asked before falling to the floor in a drunken sprawl.

Tifa shook her head and laid the knife down on the bar. "Knew it would be strong," she muttered before reaching down and pulling the ninja upright. "Cloud, help me get her upstairs. She can stay in my room until Godo says she can come home."

Cloud stared incredulously at her as he slung Yuffie's other arm over his shoulders. "You're going to let her stay here?"

"It's not like she has anywhere else to go, Cloud." Tifa smiled weakly. "Besides, it's Yuletide! We have to be nice to our friends!"

Yuffie's foot snaked out and hooked around the box of materia Tifa kept under the bar, winding the strap around her ankle securely. Cloud and Tifa glanced at each other and sighed again.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

...A clumsy little thieving brat.