Waiting by Jaed

Rated T for implications

Spoilers for The Santa in the Slush

A/N: Just a quick oneshot as a Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and a Happy Holidays to everyone else. As always thanks for reading and comments are always encouraged and greatly appreciated.

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I'm early Bones. I know that it's your plane I'm watching taxi up to the terminal. How many flights could there be coming in from Peru today? I feel better now that you've landed. Nervous but better. I've been doing a lot of thinking while you were gone and now I have so much to say to you. I have a while to wait though, you still have to clear customs and the homeland security station. I'm trying to be patient but as you know it's not one of my strengths. I've been waiting for you to come back since the moment you left. I missed you.

I can't recall the exact moment that wanting you began to burn in me. It came in pieces, small sparks that flickered from that first moment we met and slowly smoldered until they burst into tiny flames that spread and licked along my skin. Even in the beginning when you tried to present yourself to me all cold and clinical I could feel the heat in you Bones. You often smiled politely but it was at the end of our first real case together that I witnessed the real thing. I walked into your office to have you sign the last of the paperwork and you looked up at me. When you smiled then it came from somewhere in your center, your eyes sparkling, your cheeks flushed and a simple joy just radiating from you. It took my breath away.

You argued with me, challenged me, corrected me and tortured me with questions. Your mind never seems to rest. You started to get angry whenever I protected you, claiming you could protect yourself. Physically I know you were right but I kept doing it anyway. Once you were my partner you became my responsibility, even Cullen made that clear to me. There's a part of you that you keep behind a series of well crafted walls within yourself. That's who I wanted to know, that's the part of you I see as fragile. The more you reveal yourself to me the stronger my need to protect you becomes. I would give my life for you now, in an instant, without even thinking. It isn't just about being your partner anymore.

With every case there came some gift of knowledge about you that I collected like pieces to a puzzle I might someday be able to put together to figure you out. You love Pad Thai and steamed dumplings, macaroni and cheese is your favorite comfort food. Daffodils and daisies are your favorite flowers but you love the scent of hyacinth. Stuffed shells are your favorite Italian food; you really aren't a big meat eater. You speak three languages that I know of and there are probably more. Jupiter is your favorite planet. I don't even know anyone else with a favorite planet. I know a thousand superficial things about you now but it's the handful that were said to me in those rare moments that you let your guard down that really matter. Those moments were gifts that I was wise enough to collect. The name of the first boy that kissed you and the way your eyes went from sparkling to dark as you recalled it. What you did the day your parents disappeared as those hours ticked by and your world slowly dissolved around you. The raw sound to your voice when you told me about not opening the Christmas presents was like a blade sliding over my skin. How you were treated in foster care when even though you were offered a warm bed, some part of you had gone forever cold. How fresh the pain of losing your mother still is because for all these years the girl in you still held on to the hope that she was alive. How you think you're never going to be part of a family again. You're wrong about that one and I wanted you to know. I wanted to pull you against me in front of the diner and whisper against your skin that you are already my family. These are the things that matter. These are the things that you don't tell other people because these are the things that have broken your heart.

I want you to be happy. I've watched men come and go from one date to months of dating. You tell me you aren't good at the relationship part and just as you're about to give up along comes Sully. I thought I had lost you then, for good and I had no one to blame but myself. I encouraged you, wanted you to be happy, really I did. What kept me up at night then was the realization that I didn't just want you to be happy; I wanted you to be happy with me. The idea of it terrified me at first but I can't deny it. You gave him your body and you allowed yourself to have fun with him. Thinking about it is like a combination sucker punch to my gut. Still, you didn't give him your heart; you never told him your secrets. He didn't know about your past, about your family or the things that haunt you at night. The day you told me he asked you to leave with him for a year I couldn't breathe. As soon as I could I told you to go because I couldn't tell you why I wanted you to stay. I didn't sleep that night. I sat in the dark and thought about how a year without you would feel. I tortured myself with it until I was nauseous, preparing myself for the reality.

You didn't go.

It made all the difference for me. It was like being given a second chance and even though I know you wouldn't approve, I thanked God. I knew you needed time to get past Sully and I didn't want to be your rebound guy so I didn't say anything but I gave myself permission to think it. I started to think about it more and more after Sully left, not the occasional sexual fantasy and arousal that I'd been fighting up to this point. No, this has grown into an entirely different beast. I've become obsessed with you, with every detail of you. I lie in bed at night and think about every freckle I've seen on your skin. I think even harder about the ones I haven't.

I don't know what happened Bones. You used to frustrate the hell out of me and now I'm just sexually frustrated. I want to get so deep inside you the only name your lips can utter will be mine. I picture getting you under me, how it would feel to have your body push and arch against me. In my mind I make you wreathe with the burning need to have me finally fill you, my hands and mouth relentless in the quest to have you lose yourself to me. I want to see you lose control Temperance and I want you to lose it in my bed.

I started wearing tighter boxer briefs and looser pants to help hide my various states of arousal in your presence. I tried to push the thoughts of your naked body out of my mind. I watched you only when no one could see me, sure that the lust was apparent on my face. I had so many fantasies at one point there was no where I could look when I was with you that did not prompt a vision of you somehow thrusting against me. I tried to forget the tender moments that make me ache with the desire to make slow languid love to you. I tried to erase the memory of your fiery temper that makes me throb with the need to just fuck you up against a wall until you burn me up. I tried and tried and tried. I ran, I took cold showers, I masturbated like a teenager with a new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition but it was like putting a Band-Aid on a hemorrhaging wound. Wanting you is going to kill me.

We've been taking steps toward that line I once thought we'd never cross. Well I make steps and so far you haven't dropped me. You were suspicious of the man hugs but still allowed it. I suggested more dinners but was pleasantly surprised when you cooked for me. On Halloween I wanted us to go to the party together but you made that date comment at the end of the night and then I didn't want to go anywhere but home with you. I have to admit I started to wonder if you were just letting me think I was leading you. Still, I kept trying to get us past that friendship status without causing any damage. I threw myself on you when I thought there was a bomb in the vault and when I opened my eyes yours were wide, staring at me. You asked me why I closed my eyes but you never questioned that I was lying on top of you. You took a deep breath and your breasts pressed into me, your nipples were hard against my chest. Was it from the cold of the floor or the warmth of my body? I wanted to ask you. I scrambled to my feet before I embarrassed myself and struggled for a deep breath. I promised myself I would stop finding reasons to touch you but I broke it again and again. The feel of your smooth skin underneath my fingers is more of an addiction than my gambling ever was. I ache to fill my palms with you.

Then you kissed me. You kissed me Bones. You said it was the way you kissed your brother and if I thought that was true I'd go shoot him myself right now. That kiss told me everything I needed to know. You slipped me more than your gum with the tip of your tongue. So much more. I wanted to tell you, but you were having Christmas with your family and I knew how important that was to you. Just like you knew how important it was for me to see Parker. I wanted you to have it all, so I brought you the tree and even from the road I saw it light up your face. Having Parker and seeing that was all the Christmas I needed.

You said we'd have our own Christmas when you got home well I have it all waiting. There's a tree up at your apartment and your gifts are waiting underneath it. Dinner is in the oven waiting to be heated up and a Christmas cd is already in your stereo waiting to be played. Waiting, waiting, waiting, I'm so tired of waiting, but that's over now. Life is about to get very merry.

Finally, I can see you, finishing up as you come through the check point. You look amazing Temperance. It takes everything in me not to run because we kissedand even though you don't know it yet, tonight we're going to do it again.