House had been watching the TV for some time on Sunday evening and he had just got up to go to the kitchen to get himself a beer when there was a knock on his door. For a moment he considered not opening it but then decided that he could at least see who it was so he opened the door to find Amber standing at his doorstep. He frowned a little in surprise and tried to peer behind her to see if Wilson was at her heels.

"He's at home," Amber interpreted his actions correctly. "We had a fight."

House blinked. "You and Wilson had a fight and you end up at my door?"

"This is the last place he'll look for me," Amber explained.

House nodded considering, then he shrugged, opened the door wider: "I'm watching L-word. On mute."

"Works for me," Amber said stepping over the threshold. "I've had my fill of guys for a while anyway."

"Hey! I'm a guy," House protested.

"You're a jerk," Amber told him kindly. "You don't count."

"There's beer in the kitchen," House replied succinctly after a small glare at Amber, and then he limped back to his couch.

"Thanks," Amber replied and went to the kitchen to get two bottles of beer – she assumed (quite correctly) that House's instruction had not only been an offer but an order as well. Amber handed one bottle to House who had settled on the couch with his feet on the coffee table and then she settled down on the floor to lean against the couch near the other end where she could still see the TV without the table obstructing her view. They both sat in silence.

"He's a neat-freak," Amber blurted out suddenly. She considerately timed her outburst to a moment when there was no action on the TV.

"I got the impression from Chase that so are you," House mused.

"I'm trying to get over it," Amber muttered. "He makes it impossible. Whenever I just leave something somewhere he just has to pick after me."

"Tell him he's not your mother," House advised curtly.

"Yeah, I suppose," Amber sighed. "Besides it wasn't that." After that cryptic remark she fell silent again. House did give her a slightly curious look, but didn't push. He was sure to get the blow by blow from Wilson the next day – will he, nil he.

Amber had been sitting on House's floor for nearly an hour when there was a knock on the door again. Amber didn't move so House gave a longsuffering sigh and got up to open the door.

"Didn't take him that long to figure you out," House threw at Amber just before he opened the door – only to find Chase there. "Chase?"

"Sorry House," Chase was obviously somewhat uncomfortable about being where he was. "I didn't know if Amber and Wilson are back yet, and anyway, I don't think I should intrude on them anyway, and I didn't really know where I could go where I wouldn't need to do a lot of explaining. I … I just need not to be alone right now."

"Feeling like going to a bar and drinking it empty?" House ventured.

"Close enough," Chase admitted.

"I'm watching the L-word," House said for the second time that night as he held the door wide for Chase to come in. "On mute."

"With Amber!" Chase realised stunned as he stepped in further and saw Amber on the floor in front of the couch.

"She and Wilson had a fight," House shrugged.

"And she ended up here?" Chase asked. "Now what is wrong with this picture?"

House considered the situation for a moment and then he said: "Nothing, actually."

"Nothing?" Chase repeated. "But isn't it Wilson who usually ends up in your place when he has a fight with his ladies?"

"Yeah, which means that now that it's Amber who ends up here the pattern is broken," House pointed out. "Things don't go the way they usually do and since the usual usually ends up in divorce court this is probably good."

"There is that," Chase acknowledged.

"Yeah," House confirmed. "There's beer in the kitchen… Unless?"

"No, no problem with drinking, just better not to do it alone," Chase stated as he checked if Amber needed a refill before he went to the kitchen to get three bottles.

Once Chase came back from the kitchen he gave Amber and House their bottles and then settled on the couch next to House and lifted his feet on the coffee table too. They had all been sitting there quietly for about half an hour when there was again a knock on the door.

"What is this!" House griped. "The Central Station?"

"I'll go," Chase offered getting up from the couch and going to the door. This time it was Wilson.

"House… oh, it's you Chase," Wilson got a little flustered, then he took another look at Chase. "You're here, not at home, you're here… Then… I mean… Is House … stupid question of course he is, it's just …"

Chase opened the door wide: "We're watching the L-word," he said.

"On mute," House added from the couch.

"With Amber…." Wilson stuttered as he saw Amber on the floor. She didn't acknowledge Wilson in any way – except staring at the TV with more determination.

"Her choice," House insisted. "She said she had had her fill of guys for a while."

"Hey!" Chase protested. "What are we then?"

"Apparently I'm a jerk," House stated. "And therefore I don't count. And I don't think you ever counted anyway, Brother Robert."

"You make it almost sound like I was a castrato or something," Chase frowned. "Mind you, you're not much better off in her estimation. So I guess that's how Amber sees us: two eunuchs and Wilson!" Chase gave a rueful smile at the image.

"Who is soon to join the ranks," Amber muttered vengefully from the floor.

"What?" Both House and Chase turned to look at Amber, then they looked at each other to make sure they both had heard her and then they turned to look at Wilson.

"You cheated on her!" House asked accusingly.

"NO I didn't!" Wilson defended himself. "I haven't, I wouldn't! I haven't even been tempted. Not even a little!"

"Then why does she want to castrate you," Chase asked suspiciously.

"It's not that," Amber came grudgingly to Wilson's rescue from the floor - still refusing to take her eyes from the screen, though.

"Then what is it then," House wanted to know.

"He and Helena are planning babies," Amber ground out through her teeth.

"But didn't you just say that this isn't about cheating?" Chase was totally lost.

"Is she asking for a donation from him or something?" House submitted a suggestion.

"NO!" Wilson was getting close to losing his patience.

"They are planning my babies," Amber clarified.

"You want to breed with Cut-Throat Bitch?" House stared at Wilson in astonishment.

"Who wouldn't?" Wilson exclaimed – only to meet two blank stares from both of the other men in the room. "Ok, let me rephrase: what guy wouldn't."

"We're not talking about mating," House clarified. "We're talking about producing actual off-spring."

"So?" Wilson shrugged.

"Look, you know Amber is like a sister to me," Chase inserted. "But I don't think her kids would be the easiest to handle."

"Exactly!" House agreed. "She's Cut-Throat Bitch, for crying out loud!"

"I call her Amber," Wilson glared at his friend.

"Call her whatever you want," House scoffed. "She is still a lot like me and even Cuddy isn't brave enough to have my kids."

"Well, she already has you to deal with," Wilson pointed out.

"Well, DUH!" House spluttered indicating Amber with his hands like saying that the situation was exactly the same: Wilson already had Amber, why take on more like her. "Besides, you are dealing with me, too!"

"You know," Chase pondered. "It does sound like you're a glutton for punishment – no offence, Amber."

"None taken," Amber muttered from the floor. She hadn't turned a hair during the entire conversation, just watched the TV – though House doubted she actually registered anything she saw there.

"Ok, so what exactly is the situation here," Chase decided he wanted to get to the bottom of this. "Why were you planning to have babies with Amber with someone else than Amber?"

"I wasn't exactly," Wilson tried to explain. "It's just that Helena…"

"Don't try to shift the blame on her," Amber ordered him. "She doesn't know me that well and she doesn't live with me. Besides she has been raised in a traditional Greek family, she isn't totally responsible for her delusions."

"So what happened?" House was beginning to enjoy himself; this could be good.

"You know we spent the weekend with Helena's family," Wilson started.

"Yeah, yeah, get to the point," House prompted.

"Well, they pretty much adopted Amber from the get go and wanted to know if I was good enough for her," Wilson sighed.

"What does that mean?" Suddenly Amber was very interested at what was being said.

"Well, … I…" Wilson was really wishing the floor would open up and swallow him.

"Who was it who had the talk with you?" Chase grinned.

"Helena's father," Wilson sighed in defeat. "I managed to give him enough answers to satisfy him without committing us into anything, but it wasn't easy. But fortunately we didn't have much time alone since Amber and I were pretty much glued together."

"We figured that was the safest strategy even before we got there," Amber contributed to the story.

"Anyway, even then we had to field quite a few questions about our plans and when's the wedding and all that," Wilson shrugged. "It wasn't that different from what we had expected. But then, at one point, I was alone with Helena in the kitchen – just by chance – and she said that she worries about Ari being an only child. I wasn't actually contributing more than a few sympathetic noises to the conversation but then she said that she hoped Amber and I would soon have a kid as a sort of baby-brother or sister to Ari and it just struck me that I would like that very much. And before I knew we were deep into the conversation and the next thing I know Amber is standing behind Helena glaring daggers at me. Obviously we couldn't talk about it there and then but once we got home…."

"Once you got home she ended up here, in my place," House finished it for him.

"Yeah," Wilson nodded. "Though I actually expected her to be at Chase's."

"So that's why you got so flustered when you saw me at the door," Chase noted.

"Ok, never mind that," House interrupted. "I just want to know what are you going to do now? I mean, Amber can't stay here like you usually do under similar circumstances."

"I'm not staying here," Amber stated. "I'm sleeping in my own bed and if I'm not ready to have James there he can sleep on the couch in the living room."

"Look, Amber, I really am sorry for having had that talk with Helena," Wilson insisted. "The whole thing just took me by surprise. I hadn't realised that I wanted kids with you exactly. I mean, I have always sort of abstractly wanted to have at least one child, but it wasn't anything specific and we have only just moved in together so I didn't know I had sort of added you into it all. I really didn't mean to have that conversation with anyone for quite some time let alone with someone else than you."

"So you're not going to start pressuring me into getting pregnant?" Amber asked with some suspicion.

"Absolutely not," Wilson promised. "I mean I'm not stupid. It's your body and if you didn't want the kid, what kind of life he or she would have? I'm sure you'd be a good mother and love the kid, but sooner or later we would have an argument and either one of us would throw the circumstances of the pregnancy at the other and you can't keep something like that a secret from a child!"

"So I don't need to start checking my birth control pills for tampering?" Amber checked.

"How would you do that?" House asked. "Just curious, you know."

"Whose birth control pills have you been tampering with," Chase whispered to him suspiciously.

"Never mind how I would check for tampering," Amber glared at House though she hadn't heard what Chase had whispered to him. "It's not that easy to tamper with them anyway."

"That's what you think," House muttered quietly.

"House?" Wilson turned to his friend. "You're not getting any ideas, are you?"

"No," House stated. "I couldn't access her pills and anyway I'm definitely not getting involved in this. I sure don't want to see any miniature Cut-Throats running around."

"Ok, just wanted to make sure," Wilson accepted. "So now that we are safe from him, what do you say Amber? Do you believe me when I say that I'm sorry and that I would never force even the decision on you and even less an actual pregnancy?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Amber allowed.

"Can we go home, then?" Wilson invited. "I really don't want to have this conversation in any detail with these two glowering at me."

"Well, it really is none of their business," Amber agreed. "So yeah, let's go home. But next time, when Helena suggests something like this you tell her that it's between you and me and I am the only woman you will discuss it with!"

"Absolutely," Wilson vowed. "I wouldn't have discussed it even this time if it hadn't taken me by surprise."

"Ok, then," Amber got up from the floor and handed her near empty bottle to Chase. "See you two tomorrow at work."

"Probably," House concurred as he and Chase watched Amber and Wilson walk out of the door. Once the door was closed behind them House turned to Chase: "This is going to be fun."

"I'm really not that keen on you having fun," Chase muttered. "I'm more interested in seeing Amber happy."

"She's a human being," House indicated. "Happiness is not a natural state for human beings. But I rather suspect those two will be all right."

"I hope so," Chase sighed.

"You'll see," House nodded. "Now, are you heading home too or do you want to spend the night on my couch? It seems to be free tonight after all."

"I think I'd like to spend the night on your couch," Chase accepted. "If you don't mind."

"It's ok," House shrugged. "You're not Wilson, but you'll do in a pinch. Another beer?"

"Yeah, thanks," Chase smiled. "I'll get it."

And so all seemed to be well in the universe, and everything was in its place and there was a place for everything. At least until House came up with something outrageous again, but that would be another story entirely – maybe.

The End

Thank you all for your reviews (past, present and future) and for sticking with this story. I have often vowed to get a life and stop writing fanfiction – except possibly a one-shot here and there – but I have never kept that vow so I expect sooner or later something will happen on House again to set me off, but what and when I don't know. Till then: May the road rise to meet you: / May the wind be always at your back, / The sun shine warm upon your face,… and all that :)