Ok. So, I like humorous stories. And Edward hates make up. On him. And Alice loves make up. And dresses. And Bella loves Ice Cream, apparently. So I hope someone will like this. I just felt like writing it. I was like, "Hey! I'm gonna write a story about Edward getting a makeover!" I'm random like that, ok? Ok. This is in Bella's POV...And, yes, it's supposed to be ooc. I'm sorry to anyone who is offended by that!
Disclaimer: Your Mom owns Twilight. Oh burn. Kidding, ok?! I don't own anything here, cept the general story of this fan fiction. :)
It was just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up. The alarm wakes you from a pleasant dream, and you say, "5 More minutes..." And just go back to sleep, for, like, ever.
But I was going to get up, even if I really didn't want to. I opened my eyes, to see my beautiful angel--GONE!!!!! I sat up immediately.
"NOOOO!!!! I HATE MOUNTAIN LIONS!!!!!"I screamed suddenly, when I was sure he had gone hunting. I remembered that Charlie might be home. Oops.
My suspicions were confirmed as I heard footsteps, and Charlie peeked in my room at my devastated expression.
"Uh...Is, something...wrong?"he stepped inside the room.
Oh god yes, something's wrong. I looked away, disgusted. "PUT SOME PANTS ON!!!"I yelled, still not looking at him. "Do me a favor dad. Next time you decide to check on me after I burst out something about mountain lions or irritated grizzlies, please get dressed first."
Because Charlie was standing in my doorway. In. The. NUDE. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, he scooted away, obviously embarrassed.
I sighed. Then I saw, on my pillow. A NOTE!!!! GASP! I picked it up.
Bella, it said.
I, your loving boyfriend, have gone. Sorry. Anyway, I'm at my house. AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP, come save me from my terrible sister, whom, I'm sure, will really torture me with this.
Your Moms Truly,
Eddy :)
Oh, Eddy...you hate my mom. You even told me so.
I ran into the bathroom and took an almost vampire-speed shower, threw on a plain black tee and torn jeans. I brushed my teeth, obsessing over this one tooth who would not "squeak" saying it was clean. I had named that one Eddy Jr. 7. Oh well, I ran down the stairs, trying not to trip, slipped into my truck, and went at the speed of...well, the fastest my old grandpa of a truck would go.
It took me what seemed like 5 minutes in human time to get there. Damn, this thing is slow!! Wow, I really am hanging around my vampire friends too much...
I skipped to the door and rang the door bell. Almost the same second I did, Alice answered the door, looking thoroughly evil today. "Hello, Bella. Come in." Her evil grin and evil voice could only mean one thing:
"Alice, please tell me you are not giving me one of those Barbie-day things!"I pleaded.
"No, I'm not giving you a makeover."she laughed.
"Bella!"Edward's voice called from above us. Oh crap, he was God! No wait, he was upstairs. "You do know you can come in any time, without ringing that stupid noise of a bell!!!!"
I laughed. Eddy seemed a bit...anxious today. "So, where is he? In his room? Can I go see him?"I asked Alice.
"NOOOO!!!! And he's in the bathroom."Alice smiled evilly again.
At first I didn't understand. "Vampires go to the bathroom? OH!...Okay. You're giving Eddy a MAKE OVER?!?!?!?"
Alice nodded. "Edwardo gets a make over."
"O. M. G!!!!!!" I said. Just then, Emmet was beside me. "Hi Emmett."I said.
"C'mon Bella!!! While we're waiting for Edwin to be done, let's make cookies."
"STOP CALLING ME BY MY WRONG NAMES!!!! Except Bella."Edward said from the Bathroom. "Shut up Emmet."
Emmett must have thought something gross again...Oh well. "Let's make cookies later. I've always wanted to really EXPLORE Edward's room."
"That's good too,"Emmett said, shrugging. I bet he'd already done it millions of times in the last...however many millions of years they'd been here.
"NOOOO!!!!!"Edward screeched. But he didn't dare come out of that bathroom...I bet Alice had tied him to a chair. Oh, like that would stop him.
So Emmett slung me across his back like a fireman and zoomed up to Edward's room. I searched through all his desks and crap, until Emmett pointed silently to the carpet. I lifted it up, and saw a secret compartment. I looked up to Emmett curiously.
"It's for his past...woman troubles."he whispered. I wasn't sure what he meant. Maybe he didn't have a woman before me and went all emo and had gone through a phase of cutting his wrist, trying to kill his vampiric self and failing, while wearing black, and tons of eyeliner. Then a makeover wouldn't be such a big deal, would it?
I shrugged and lifted the little piece of wood. Inside was a big plastic bag. Wal-Mart? I looked inside and gulped.Then I stared in disgust and shock at the items in the bag.
"TAMPONS?!"I gasped. In the bag were tampons, pads, ibuprofen(ummm...guessing on the spelling there) and many pairs of Edward's jeans and underwear, stained with what looked like blood. I replaced the carpet and turned away slowly.
"Let's go make some cookies..."I said disgustedly.
"Well, we'll need to go to the store first,"Emmet told me. Of course: they wouldn't have any food, stupid vampires!
I stomped down the stairs and went into their enormous living room and plopped down on the couch, with my arms folded across my chest. I didn't want to go anywhere until I saw Eddy with make-up on!!!!
Just then, Alice came marching down the stairs. "Introducing, Miss Edward Cullen!!!"