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Red vs. Blue:

The Pirate Chronicles

Part 1: Everything is okay

"Church" Said Caboose

"Yeah" Church answered

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

"You know Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders, and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that's happened, you know what I've learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an ass hole, or a pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant or an idiot or know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're red, or because they're blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day. And you can't stand them, because they're a complete and total fucking douche bag."

A deep silence followed .

"I mean why are we up here in the sun, when we could be standing down there in the shade."

"Oh. Yeah okay. Let's go stand in the shade.

Church and Caboose started walking. Church towards the ramp, and Caboose towards the edge of the base. Church sighed as Caboose walked over the edge. A crashing noise was heard.

"Ow... Church somebody stole the ramp" Caboose said from where he laid.

"No Caboose, you're just so dumb that you forgot where the ramp is and you walked right over the edge." Answered Church as he got around the corner and saw Caboose lying there.

"Oh... but it still hurts."

Church sighed again and helped Caboose up.

"Ow, Church my foot hurts."

"You might have injured it." Said Church as he looked down on Caboose's foot. He couldn't see any damage cause the armour covered his foot.

"Let's have Doc take a look at it."

"Okay... it is much cooler here in the shade."

"Yeah, it is... Hey Doc! Get over here! Caboose has hurt his foot!"

Doc came running whit his medical gizmo in his hands. He pointed it at Caboose's foot. It lights up green.

"So Doc, what does that shade of green mean?" Church said to Doc.

"Minor bruises, or cancer."

"Aaaahhhhhh!!!! I don't want to die!" Caboose screamed

"Don't worry Caboose, the chances that you get cancer from a fall is as big as me hitting something whit the sniper rifle on the other side of the canyon."

"You are going to be fine Caboose." Doc said

"Good, I don't want my head to explode."

"Caboose, that's not cancer. There is not a disease that make your head explode... Or does it?" Church said

"Nope." Doc said

"You hear that Caboose, that was from a professional doctor. Or maybe crappy medic would fit better. Or guy claming to be a medic." said Church

"Yeah yeah. Pick on the guy that want's to help you, just cause he got out of med school whit 49.99 right on the final exam.

"Don't you need al least 50 right to be a medic for the blue army?"

"Nope they changed it 40, cause nobody listens to the teachers anymore."

"Oh dear god. Shut up Doc"

Doc walked away and Caboose who had drifted away during the conversation was just staring at the wall.

Church stared out across the canyon. He thought about Tex. He never had the chance to tell her that he still loved her. It had only been a few hours since the ship blew up. Tucker had it bad to, his kid had died. But Church stopped thinking about Tucker and focused back at himself. Then he suddenly saw fireball up in the sky. He looked at it and decided that just was a shooting star that you could sometimes see during the day on this planet. He started thinking again, what would he do after the war. He hadn't finished college so he would probably finish college and start to work as a... as a... hmm. He realized. He had no plan for his life. No plan at all. Damn it! He blamed himself not for coming up whit a plan. He then noticed that the fireball was getting bigger. And that is was heading right for the canyon!!!

"Holy crap! It's going to land here!" Church said out laud .

"What are you yelling about over here?" Said Tucker who had walked up to Church.

"A big fucking fireball is heading right for the canyon!"

"What?" He looked at the sky. "Ahhh! We're all going to die!"

Tucker ran of whit Church to warn the others. Doc, Sister and Caboose was standing and talking on top of the base. Caboose had for some unknown reason walked up to the top of the base.

"Okay everyone. Don't panic, but there is a fireball heading for the canyon." Said Church

Doc, Sister and Caboose starred at Church and Tucker for a few seconds then started screaming.

"The sky is falling down!" Screamed Caboose.

"No god is shooting at us" Screamed Sister

"It's a comet, and it is going to land on us!" Screamed Doc.

All of them ran down in to the hangar. The safest place in the base.

Meanwhile at the Red Base.

"No! I want to drive the mongoose first! Said Grif to Simmons

"But I helped name it!

"Oh please! You wanted to call it the "Not Monkey".

(Note, to understand this joke you need to see a Red vs. Blue clip I saw. It is availed on YouTube. Search for: Red vs Blue 100.1.)

"No I didn't, you said that I wanted to call it the "Not Monkey".

"Shut up the bout of you! Grif will drive the mongoose first." Sarge said

"Yeah!" Grif said

"What but I'm you're favourite!" Yelled Simmons.

"Oh don't worry Simmons. You'll see why I want Grif to drive it first. " Said Sarge and chuckled.

"Now I don't want to drive it." Said Grif

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Keep watch for the next part.