My world shattered about a week ago. This is my confession. This is my victory.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors. (Twoshot)

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Pairing: Sasuke x Naruto

Summary: (New story!) This is his house, his bed. How did we end up like this? Pity sex - a pity indeed. Will this ever turn out right? If I move my mountain…will you move yours as well? (SasuNaru, twoshot, rated M for SEX and language)

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the characters or what so ever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

This Is How A Heart Breaks And…Heals?

Oh fuck. What did I do, what did I do…?!!? This is not happening, please God. How did it come to this? Is this karma? A punishment? I need to get out of this bed. I need to drink water to clear my head. Why am I in his room? Why am I in his bed? Why do I taste him when I run my tongue over my lips?

I feel an arm around me and I sense someone breathing next to me. The blanket rises slowly and it almost mesmerizes me. Spiky black hair sticks from underneath the blanket. His hair is messy and I am able to get a glimpse of his bare shoulder.

I never noticed how smooth his skin was; how perfect and white. He was always my snow…he still is. I gather the bits and pieces of my brain and then it hits me. Bare shoulder probably means bare all over. The sheets are warm and nice. I must be naked too. This is a bed and I am sticky.

Hell no, it is not possible. I try to get off from the bed and as soon as I land my feet on the cold floor I sense something. Warm liquid dribbles down my thighs and cools down along the way. I touch it, rub it between my fingers. I would recognize the substance anywhere. My eyes widen as the reality hits me hard against my face. I have been fucked.

My legs give upon me soon. I try to gather all my belongings as neatly and silently as possible. Where the fuck did I leave my trousers? Did I even have trousers? I find my jeans underneath the bed. They are wrinkled and I have to struggle a bit to get them on. Why did I choose the ripped ones? My feet slip into those holes and I almost stumble.

I come to a conclusion that I can put the rest on after I get out of the house. His house. I hear the sheets ruffle and I bolt out of the room as fast as an evanescent lightning. I do not dare to look back. I just crab my shoes from the hallway and run through the doorway.

I keep running although my lungs burn. I am sweating, but it does not make me halt. I need to run in order to forget -in order to escape.

I bump into Sakura on my way. Her eyes are wide as she watches me carefully. I know I am blushing, I do not have my shirt on and I am wet from sweat. She asks who made the hickeys. What?!? Fuck! I ask what hickeys, but I am quite sure she sees trough me.

Her smile is evil. I want to escape. Who is the lucky girl, she grinningly asks. Not a girl but a guy …yet, I do not answer her questions. Instead I change the subject and ask where she is going. Should have kept my big mouth shut. To Sasuke's, she says. I feel a lump in my throat.

She bids me to come with her. She says it is our duty, because he is still our friend although he took off with Orochimaru and left us. He had reasons and we should support him. I think I have supported enough…with my body if precise.

I have to think of something but my mind is completely blank. I tell her that I have to dowse my plants. Yeah, that is it. My plants need water. I apologize and tell her that I come next time. I turn around quickly and take off running again. Because I am dazed I miss her saying "But Naruto, you do not have any plants…?"

Oh my God, I can see my door…just few steps and I am safe. I can feel the cold metal door knob in my hand. My fingers twitch because of the sudden encounter with the chilly matter. I turn the knob and I am in. I feel I need to lock the door. Just in case.

I drop my stuff on the floor. It makes this funny "bumph" sound although I am not sure what causes it. My apartment feels so empty, hollow. I drag myself into my bedroom. I stand before my bed until I drop myself on it. I bury my face into the pillow and just listen to the noises of the city. I roll so I am lying on my back staring at the ceiling.

How did it end up like this? He was gone so many years. Although I did not constantly think of him, the image of him was still tattooed in the back of my head. We were young, he was my best friend. A rival in everything. We laughed, fought and suffered together. Then he made up his mind but just forgot to tell me that. His best friend.

He chose revenge and left me standing alone. How I wanted him to come back, say he was sorry. Weeks turned into months, months turned into years. I grew accustomed to the fact that he was gone. Permanently -to my accord.

I gained more friends and little by little I started to enjoy my life again. It was not the fact that he left, but that he decided not to tell me. I blamed myself although I knew it was not my fault. He needed the escape route he called "revenge". An avenger my arse…

Sakura and I grew to be really close friends and I appreciate that bond. I am glad my feelings of crush for her faded away, because I would not change the time I have spent with her as friends. She is like my sister. Yet, this matter is something I cannot discuss with her.

Just a few days ago everything was normal, like it had been the past ten years. It is weird to look at myself trough the mirror. I do not feel like I am 25 years old. 25 years…it seems that the time moves forward but I cannot keep up with it.

Normal…me working in a café while doing that ANBU shit. Through the years, I have become more peace loving and down-to-earth although one might not believe it. I only do those ANBU missions because I need the money. I would like to settle down and perhaps start a family. Not so sure about kids but I would like to find someone to love. A wife, I always thought. Now I find myself in this situation…getting humped by a dude and not just any dude but my former best friend.

All those thoughts concerning last night come back to me; how he tasted, what he looked like and how his eyes glinted in the lamp light. Yet, I do not have the foggiest idea how we ended up in that kind of situation. I never craved for pity sex. Although I do not want to consider it as such, I cannot find any other reason for it.

All those feelings buried deep inside of us burst out like fire. A fight. We had a fight. He came back to us, had a word with the current Hokage and then everybody patted his shoulder. Everyone except me. The whole time he was praised and other shit, I just stood by the city wall. Oh, you killed that bastard Orochimaru - hail Sasuke! I was so ready to puke.

First, I almost did not recognize him. I used to be much shorter than him but now we are about the same height. His long hair brushes his shoulders as he does not keep it tied -unlike me. I like to put my hair in a bun (manly bun you fuckers) because then it does not bother my work. Convenient, I say.

He is very slender and athletic. I am more of a muscle pack compared to him. He does not look girly like he used to do. A fact, which made me always laugh at him back then.

It is getting darker and everyone starts to head for home. I just grunt and take my leave. Outside I inhale the fresh -yet chilly- air and ponder what should I eat before going to bed. I am all alone now. I decide to head for the convenience store.

Before I can do anything, someone crabs my shoulder. I turn around and see him. All the words I wanted to say never leave my lips. I must look like a fish gaping for air. We are both silent. Food? He asks. I just nod. There is nothing else I can do.