What should not be done at Hogwarts
What would happen if Harry started doing those many things that 'should not be done' at Hogwarts?
Disclaimer: i own nothing. nothing own it.
this is AU and happens durin the 6th year and HBP does not exist.
Chapter One
"Mr. Potter!" McGonagal said "dangerously. "Why is there catnip in the folder that your report is supposed to be in?
"What, Minnie?" Harry asked calmly. "Didn't I put the letter in there?"
McGonagal glared.
"Guess not then. Well i figured that since I do have to save the world and all that a little catnip should smoove things over," Harry explained as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
There was ten seconds of shocked silence in which the class stared at him with expressions varying from shock, awe, disbelief, and not a little fear for his safety and sanity. Then...
"Potter!" screamed McGonagal. "Headmaster's office, NOW!"
"OK, Minnie," replied Harry. "Anything you'd like me to tell or ask him?" Harry asked.
"Just wait there," McGonagal hissed.
"OK then Minnie," Harry said walking out the door. "We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz..."
"Because, because, because! Of all of the wonderful things he does! We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz..." Harry finished the song as he approached the familiar gargoyle. Of course he blissfully ignored the odd looks he was getting from other students. "Hmmmm...I think...LOLLIPOPS!" Harry shouted at the statue, which slid open to the revolving staircase that led up to Dumbledore's office. Harry idly wondered if that had been there since the founders' time or not. And which came first, the muggle or the wizard. He knocked on the door and waited.
"Come in Harry," Dumbledore said peacefully.
Harry came in cautiously. "How did you know it was me? Are you a stalker? That's it! You're a stalker! No, it's even worse! You're a HIPPIE stalker, what are those lemon drops laced with? Pot? I knew it, there's no other way you can be so calm all the time. That's why you offer them to everyone, you're trying to get everyone high just like you! I'm ashamed of you Bumblebee, how could you fall down that slippery slope? I know you had a hard time killing Grindewald 'cause he was your secret love and everything, and there's also the whole 'Tom Riddle became Voldemort because of me' thing, and Moldyshorts first rise -was- your fault, and you are the reason I had to go to the Dursley's where I was emotionally, psychologically, and physically abused, and there's Sirius' false imprisonment and death, AND--"
"That is enough," said Dumbledore, looking significantly more depressed, twinkle no where in sight. "And no, I am not high, I am not a stalker ,there is no pot in the lemon drops, and the 60's were a long time ago..." Dumbledore trailed off. "Now, why are you here?" Dumbledore asked.
"Well," Harry began,"McGonagal sent me up here and told me to wait. I have no idea why though, it was the best catnip I could find," he finished.
Right on cue, in stalked McGonagal. "Headmaster, never in all my years have I ever been so insulted, outraged, or embarrassed!" She began. "Why I am about fit to side with Severus and..."
Well thats the first chapter. Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Please review! if only to tell me you hate it and think i should delete it! although i wont.
do you want more? review. please. And some ideas about what Harry should do next wouldnt go amiss either.