Chapter Four:

You refuse to remember, or never forget

"Why wouldn't we call you Terra?" Beast Boy asked. "That's your name."

"Yes friend, is it not appropriate to call you by your given title?"

"I guess...But Terra isn't my name," 'Terra' said.

Robin and Raven shared a concerned and suspicious look, before both turned back to the blonde teen.

"What do you mean Terra isn't your name?" Robin asked cautiously.

Terra's facial expression remained apathetic. She lightly shrugged her shoulders in response.

"Well then... What is your name?" Beast Boy asked almost sheepishly. It was as if he was afraid that this girl in front of him really wasn't Terra. She looked like Terra in every way; her hair, skin, eyes, body were all the exact same as the Terra he remembered. Her voice was the same as Terra's too. But what if somehow, for some bizarre reason, this wasn't Terra? No, that was impossible. Beast Boy shook his head. He watched with his own eyes as Terra was turned into stone, and he watched with those very same eyes as she was released from her stoney state. This had to be Terra.

Terra furrowed her brows together. "My name is..." she started, but then trailed off. Slowly a look of panic crept onto her pale face.

"I don't know what my name is..." She said in disbelief.

Robin turned to Cyborg, who was standing at his position by the computers and monitors. A corner of Robin's mask raised in question.

"Do you remember anything?" Cyborg asked the girl in the hospital bed.

"I..." Terra bit her lip in thought. "I remember..." Her hands made their way through her tangle of hair, and clenched the sides of her head. Strands of blonde spilled out through her fingers. "I-I can't remember anything," she confessed. "Why can't I remember anything!?"

"Amnesia," Robin muttered after a small pause of silence.

Everyone had heard what Robin said, but Beast Boy chose to ignore it.

"It's okay Terra," he reassured her. "You're probably just really tired. I'm sure in a few minutes you'll remember everything... I know when I first wake up in the morning I can't remember anything." For the first time in his life, Beast Boy's famous toothy grin was fake. His voice held such confidence, but his heart was filled with doubt.

Terra looked over at Beast Boy as he spoke, her expression both perplexed and frustrated.

"Who are you?" she asked him.

Beast Boy felt like he had just received a hard blow to the stomach. A cold hand of iron had his heart in a tight grip, and proceeded to rip that very heart in half. He had gone over this moment in his head for so long. The moment when him and Terra would be happily reunited. There would be tears and apologies. But there would also be smiles and hugs. He had even imagined them running to embrace each-other in a hug; slow motion of course. It would be the perfect reunion. They would stay up all night talking about happy memories of the past....They'd be laughing so hard that they'd choke on their own spit. Just like in the old days. And then it would be happily ever after...

Happily ever after is only in fairy tales, a voice coldly echoed in his mind.

"I'm Beast Boy.." he replied at last. Terra, you have to remember me... He mentally begged.

"Beast Boy?" She repeated but in question form. Disbelief was clear on her face and it was apparent that she didn't believe that was his real name, let alone a real name at all.

"Oh," She finally said instead of questioning the realness of the shape shifter's name. She glanced inquisitively at the other four teens standing in the room.

"I'm Robin," said teen spoke. "And this is Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven." He motioned to each of them in turn with their name. "We're the Teen Titans."

"We're your friends," Beast Boy squeaked out.

"Oh…" Terra replied. Her lack of memory left her in a inner state of comatose. Her mind was tempted to begin racing with thoughts of confusion, and frustration, but a overall numbness stopped those thoughts from coming. It was as if her mind simply decided to hibernate, leaving her not really knowing what to do or how to react.

"My name's… Terra?" she asked as soon as she was able to piece together a thought.

Beast Boy nodded eagerly. "You're Terra. You have to remember. We met one day when you were running from this giant-" Robin shot Beast Boy a severe warning glare that obviously meant to shut up. Though Beast Boy didn't know why, he obeyed his leader's command.

"You should get some sleep," Robin said to Terra. He turned to leave the room, muttering loudly, "Team meeting in 20 minutes."

Robin walked out of the infirmary with Starfire and Raven trailing behind. Cyborg turned back to the computer monitors and mumbled something about a test.

Terra's eyes were already fluttering shut and in the matter of only minutes sleep overtook her. Beast Boy looked sadly at her small form before reluctantly exiting the room as well.

- - - - - -

"Terra has amnesia."

"Way to state the obvious," Beast Boy mumbled in the Boy Wonder's direction.

Robin ignored Beast Boy (like he'd been practicing for many years), and continued speaking.

"Cyborg ran a quick memory check on her and it seems like she has a high stage of amnesia. She can't remember any of her past at all." Robin paused to see the reactions of his team members. Looks of worry from Starfire and Cyborg, a apathetic blank stare from Raven, and a angry glare from Beast Boy.

In the 20 minutes it took to start the team meeting, Beast Boy's attitude changed from sulky and sad, to angry and frustrated.

Anger is the best way to mask worry, Robin thought, reminding himself to be patient with Beast Boy.

"This type of memory loss is pretty servere," Robin said.

"Oh, this is most horrible! What ever are we to do for friend Terra?" Starfire's asked in concern.

"With amnesia, can't memory be triggered by certain things of the past?" Cyborg stated more than asked.

"Yeah!" Beast Boy agreed. He remembered hearing that somewhere. Maybe on tv or something. And as we all know, the tv never lied!

"We can just show her around Titans tower, show her room and all of her stuff. And we have plenty of pictures we could let her look at too! Maybe some of it will trigger her memory!"

"No," Robin said firmly. Instantly the little hope in Beast Boy completely drained. He glared irritably at Robin, and awaited the explanation that was sure to come.

"I've done my research, and that would be one of the worst things we could do for Terra," he explained. "Sometimes, after someone has experienced a really scarring event, they self consciously choose to block that event out of their mind. Any reminder of that event is a negative trigger, and has the ability to put the person's body into complete shock, which could be deadly. In really rare cases like this, they end up accidentally blocking out all of the memories. So any indication of the past has the potential to be life threatening, if it makes the person remember."

Beast Boy's head spun with this new information. Self consciously choose?

"What are you trying to say?" Beast Boy questioned.

"Terra doesn't want to remember."

"That's a lie!" Beast Boy yelled. He jumped up from his position on the couch and clenched his fists dangerously. "Why wouldn't Terra want to remember us!?"

"Think about it. All of the bad things Terra went through that can be associated with us." Raven replied calmly.

Beast Boy looked over at Raven.

She's right… he thought.

Terra didn't want to remember. She didn't want to remember anything. It hurt Beast Boy to know that not being able to remember him, and all of the great times they had together, was better than having to face all of her mistakes. Mistakes you could right, and bad pasts you could move forward from. But if you forgot everything that once made you happy…. Well can you ever get that back?

"Is she ever going to remember?" Beast Boy dared to ask.

"Maybe… If she comes to terms with reality on her own."

Beast Boy also dared to hope that she would.

Author's Notes: *dodges various sharp pointy objects and hides behind shield* Please don't hurt me .

You see… I had this chapter written…. Last year -_-

I found this and another half written chapter yesterday, and am wondering just as you are why I never posted it. I guess I sorta just… forgot .