Woof! Sorry it's been so long since I've last updated (busy semester writer's block serious chapter deficit). Thanks to anyone who will still read on!!

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So on the freak-out scale of 1 to 10, I was like a 12.5.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" I hit myself in the head with a convenient metal spoon I had found lying around. I just wanted to wake up from this ridiculously life-like, baaad dream.

"Ouch!" Okay note to self: stop hitting head with spoon, because it actually hurts when you're not dreaming!

I was curled up in scared little ball, huddled in the corner of the captain's quarters on The Redshift. Which flies, for the record. I'd been in there, fighting off sea sickness (air sickness??), since West and I had had that enlightening little conversation about my alleged destiny. The ship swayed and swerved amidst a violent thunderstorm while the less-than-grown-up pirate guys fished for lightning on deck.

Frankly, I didn't know what my next move was.

I had been buzzed up to this ship against my will because I wanted a closer look at a thunderstorm. And you know what they say: Curiosity electrocuted the cat onto a flying pirate ship. Now the pirate leader, West, expected me to transform into some kind of super-captain.

I might be able to accept being cargo on a flying pirate ship. I could maybe get used to (okay definitely get used to) being around hot pirate dudes. But be a captain? No. Totally off the table. Not even near the table.

Who knows? Maybe I was just having some kind of wacked-out hallucination.

"Okay Toni," I lectured myself in that schizophrenic way I have, "Pull yourself together. Just go out there and ask the pirate guys to take you home."

Yes, there was a plan. Just ask the pirate guys to…drop me off back at my house. After all, I was sure that a flying vessel such as The Redshift could make it back home in no time. And the pirates seemed like they could be reasonable. Did flying pirate ships do taxi service?

I gathered myself shakily to my feet and pushed my hair out of my face. Suddenly determined, I pushed open the door of the captain's quarters and headed out to the deck. I would speak with the pirates logically, calmly, and diplomatically. They would take me home.

There was a definite whoosh as I stepped out of the captain's quarters.

Suddenly I was suffocating on my own long hair as the wind whipped it against my face. The deck was in utter chaos, caught in the middle of a monstrous thunderstorm. I struggled to keep my balance against the beastly winds and cold torrents of rain. The pirate guys were shouting and maneuvering their long, metal lightning-catcher rods as lightning cracked all around.

I guess diplomatic conversation would have to wait. Frustrated, I staggered my way to the nearest mast and held on for my dear little life.

And then, with a thud that sounded as painful as it felt, a flying sneaker hit me flat in the face.

"HOLY CRACKERS!" I cried out in pain and shock. My nose felt squashed, my eyes watered up, and I was pretty sure there was a freshly imprinted Nike symbol on my forehead.

I guess that was the last straw for me, because I blew my top just then.

"ARRG! STUPID THUNDERSTORM! CAN'T YOU SEE I WANT TO GO HOME!" I shrieked out against the wind. I was so frustrated with the flying pirate ship situation, and I just wanted someone to listen to me. "ENOUGH OF THIS! QUIET!!!!"

Then, all of a sudden, there was quiet. We were still definitely in the middle of the storm, as the threatening clouds directly overhead indicated. But everything was strangely still. Had the thunderstorm…listened to me? No, that was not possible.

May as well test this thing out. "Um, carry on."

And just like that, the storm picked up again. Yep, that's right. I had told the thunderstorm to go, and it, well, went.

This was way cool.

"Okay now, um, stop please!" I screamed at the storm, trying to be polite about it.

Like magic, the thunderstorm quit its wailing and stood quiet once again. I was amazed. The pirates, apparently having witnessed my freakazoid power, stared at me like I had just sprouted wings.

Time to have some fun with this storm. "Now do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around!"

Okay, no response from the storm on that one. But that was okay (I should probably have requested the electric slide anyway). I had already proved that I could start and stop the storm at will. This could definitely come in handy. I wondered if I could tell the storm where to go.

Suddenly there was a deep, low grumble that sounded like a laugh. But it was coming from the storm overhead. Yes, the storm was definitely laughing at me.

Then there was a magnificent FLASH! all around me as someone screamed, "Watch out, Toni!"

What was I, a human lightning rod? I had been struck again, and this time there was no upward whooshing.