The referee raised my arm in victory as Lillian announced, "Here is your winner…LIIITTTAAA!"

I smiled at her and motioned for a microphone.

"I want to thank each and everyone of you for the memories and support over the years." I said pointing around the ring, ringside and to the back I started to break down. No be strong Amy you can do this. You need to do this. "But sadly tonight was my last match." The crowd went silent and I started to tear up. I wasn't going out the way Edge of Vince wanted me to.

"As you all know I've had some personal demons the past little while. And whether storyline or real I haven't been having a good couple of years. I don't want you to remember me as Edges whore, I want you to remember me as someone who fought for and pioneered the women's division. And hopefully…" I said choking back tears. "One of the greatest women's champions."

I looked down the ramp and all the girls came down and started to clap even Maria who I had just taken it to less then 5 minutes ago. The crowd started to cheer, "Thank you! Thank you!" And I cried as I walked to the back waving goodbye and blowing kisses to the fans. Tonight was my last night as the lovely Lita. I was walking away from the love of my life, loves of my life actually. Wrestling and him.

I'd planned this out perfectly. His match was next so I wouldn't have to say good-bye; he wouldn't be able to follow me.

I grabbed my shit and hurried from the building to the parking garage as fast as I could, I couldn't take a chance on the match ending quickly. But when I got to my car I couldn't believe my eyes.

There he was leaning on the hood.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was easier that way." I said not looking up reaching for the trunk to load my stuff in. He reached out and grabbed my hand stopping me.

"Why?"

"I have to."

"You don't have to do anything."

"I do. You don't under stand." I said lowering my head.

He cupped my face in his hands. "Make me understand."

I shook him off. "I can't"

"Why?"

"I just cant!" I yelled throwing my arms up in the air before putting my back to him.

"Red I thought you loved me." He said in a weak voice.

"I do love you that's the problem." I said turning around.

"Then stay." John said reaching for my hand. "For me."

"I'm doing the opposite for you." I tried not to cry.

"I don't understand." He told me obviously frustrated.

"That's just the way it has to be."

"Will I ever see you again?"

"I don't know." I told him and that was the truth I didn't know if we could ever be together. I just had to go get away. If I wasn't around then I couldn't cost him his job, I gave up everything for him to be happy even if he never knows that."

I hopped into my car and started the engine.

"I love you." John told me.

"I love you to." I said kissing him. More then you'll ever know.

I adjusted my mirrors and just drove off I couldn't look back because if I didn't I might not leave. I can't change my mind now.

The sun shone as I drove home to Atlanta, even though it was raining inside me. I didn't know if the clouds in my heart would ever clear. On the way there I past an ocean, I didn't know what would come next but I couldn't bear to look at the beach afraid I may see footprints washing away.