Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I'm only purely obsessed.

Author's Note: I'm utterly obsessed with Twilight and I need something to do before Breaking Dawn Comes out! Only like ten more months, only. Anyways I've been reading lots of Twilight fanfiction and while that keeps me occupied, I need more Twilight. Anyways I got this idea in the supermarket, and I decided to spend some of my Twilight-crazed hours, writing it. Enjoy and review!

Summary: Emmett, Jasper, and Edward make dinner for Bella…or at least attempt to.

BPOV

A low grumble erupted, loud and embarrassing, from my stomach and instantly Edward's eyes locked onto my face, radiating concern from every angle. Before I could open my mouth protest, that I wasn't all that hungry, he instantly repositioned us so we were both sitting on his bed, no longer laying into each other.

If I could have growled the way he was glorious at, much like other things, I would have, but I settled for grimacing awaiting his absurdness to ride along. He lightly played with my fingers as he asked, "Hungry, my Bella?" His voice was soft and melodic, everything to make my mind comply with him.

"No," I answered quickly, maybe a bit too quickly.

He could instantly tell from my immediate response and my poor lying skills that I was indeed fibbing. But I was doing it all in good taste, I wanted to spend more time with Edward. Not spending that time eating. A crooked smile broke across his gorgeous face as he answered, lightly, "Come on let's you get you some food, Bella." I shook my head, trying to repel the thought of leaving his room and going downstairs to eat. It was just a growl from my stomach, nothing that big. He always jumped to the immediate thought that whenever my stomach did perform that injustice that I was bound to drop dead in a matter of seconds, from malnourishment. Edward was much too overprotective. If he wasn't so gorgeous, it may have been irritating.

"Edward, really I'm not hungry."

"You're such a bad liar," he lowered his lips to ear causing me to shiver, "but that's just one of the reasons I love you so much." Before I could merely insist on waiting just a few more minutes or perhaps hours or even throw in some excuse that if I even looked at food I'd be sick, Edward was kissing me. Not the normal, cautious way, but as if he was going to disregard everything. Virtue and dangers. And before that moment came where he'd let go, let me breathe while he moved onto my neck, I found myself at the dining room table. An angry expression drew itself onto my face, while he hummed himself into the kitchen.

"Bella, what would like?" he called clearly knowing his cheery mood would only delve my mood deeper into the ground.

"Nothing," I mumbled. He still heard me, with his vampire hearing. Thank God, he couldn't read my mind, although then I wouldn't have minded if he could have read how angry I was.

He came back in a flash, multiple items on a silver tray. A smile was still on his face as he sat on the chair next to me. He set the tray down in front of me and motioned his hands to each one of the pieces of food that occupied it. Like I couldn't tell what it was. "We've got chocolate," he motioned towards a chocolate bar that I quickly lost interest in. He quickly took this in and moved onto the rest. "Cookies…Muffins…Oranges…Prunes?"

"Prunes?" I giggled, but then quickly tuned my mood back into irritated. "Besides I don't like any of that," I continued dismissively waving my hand over the tray.

"Not even muffins?" he chuckled waving a muffin across my face back and forth. I did my best to repel the scent of blueberries that was flying in front of my face. I couldn't let Edward do me in with a muffin.

"No," I kept my face stern as I pushed the tray away far from me. Edward's face almost looked disappointed as he placed the muffin back onto the tray and turned back to me.

His hands intertwined with mine, and started to gently rock them back and forth. "Then what would you like then, my Bella?"

"You," I answered quickly and before he could throw the topic of marriage back at me, I swiftly added, "I mean to spend time with you, not eating. Edward, really, I'm not hungry." Much to my displeasure, my stomach growled again, not helping my case.

"I'm sure you're not," laughed Edward, and his laugh almost sucked me into that portal where without even thinking I'd agree to anything he proposed, all because he dazzled me. "But think about it Bella, the sooner you eat, the sooner we can go back to being alone, again." It didn't sound half bad, when he put it like that.

"I suppose," I said giving in to him and his ways. God, why did he have to have such a big of an impact on me? I ought to be immune to his brilliance by now, but I didn't think I ever would be. And in some cases that was certainly a good thing.

"So, my love, what would like for dinner?" Was it really dinner? I hadn't noticed, I suppose I was too focused on him all those hours to even notice the sun setting, not that it was ever visible. I couldn't tell him that I would just take that muffin I had so neatly refused, he'd find some way to tell me that if I had eaten it sooner…

I closed the thought out of my head and focused on what take the quickest to find, prepare, and eat. "An apple is fine," I finally answered after digging through the food that I wasn't too self-conscious about eating in front of him. Although no matter what it was, knowing that he watched and was somehow fascinated about how I ate dug at me. It was just weird.

He looked at me with an incredulous etched upon his beautiful face. "No Bella, I want to make sure you're fulfilled, satisfied."

"I'm not all that satisfied," I mumbled incoherently regarding to both of our sexual lives, but with Edward he didn't miss it.

"Satisfied with your hunger, Bella," he scolded. "C'mon pick, already!" His voice was growing almost impatient. He could go with my snail pace, but heaven forbid he couldn't put up with my slowness at choosing what to eat.

"I don't know! Make me something, if you're so damn worried that I'm going to keel over from starvation!" I didn't know why my voice was growing higher and louder, or why my face was morphing into deep shades of red. He just looked at me, about to burst out laughing. "What?! What about anger is so damn funny to you?" I demanded to know. He may have been finding this funny, but I was most certainly not.

"Well you're adorable when you're angry, Bella," he replied casually.

"Argh!" I screamed in frustration throwing my hands up in the air. I pushed up from the table and walked out of the room, leaving Edward there still chuckling. As I past Emmett and Jasper, I heard Emmett say, "I swear it's all sexual frustration, for both of them."

I slumped into the couch that sat in front of the new television Carlisle had to replace, and closed my eyes. I didn't bother to fiddle with the remote, I'd find a way to break it or hurt myself in the process. Instead I listened to Edward and Emmett argue in the kitchen. Maybe I had picked up the rest of Cullen's' extreme sense of hearing. They couldn't really be loud could they?

The answer was yes. Yes, Edward and Emmett were more than capable of being that loud.

EPOV

"Er, Edward what is this?" Emmett asked as he dangled a strainer in front of my face.

I pushed it away angrily, and answered, "It's a colander, but most people call it a strainer. You use it to drain all the water out of food." Even for a vampire, he should have known that.

"Oh, well you could have just said strainer," muttered Emmett as he played around with the box of noodles. "Besides why are you cooking for Bella, anyway? Can't you just shove some food in her mouth and call it day?"

I looked at him, my jaw tight, which ought to have been enough, but with Emmett it was never enough. There were enough animals to hunt, never enough TV Channels, never enough time alone with Rosalie. I quickly I shuddered at the thought and tuned into him as he spoke on about something. "…and were did you get all this stuff anyway? I mean what was point of buying all these appliances, tools, and food if you're going to change Bella soon anyway?" Because maybe she won't want to after all, I thought to myself. Because there was still a chance that Bella would change her mind, one millionth of a chance.

"Because," I replied. "Now help me make this fast, I think Bella is getting anxious."

"As long as there is no raw meat, I'll be fine," answered Emmett as he happily poured the box of noodles into a pot full of boiling water.

I raised an eyebrow, and with a light chuckle answered, "Afraid of a little raw meat, are you Emmett?" I knew Emmett wouldn't take this, what with his competitive ways.

"Have you ever tried to tackle it, Edward? It's so raw, so disgusting. My God, how do humans even eat it?" He shuddered as his thoughts played it out for me. Why can't Bella be a vegetarian? It's so gross, even on Rosalie. Like that time we tried it instead of the lotion Jasper gave us…

I could feel my body cringe as the thought of Emmett and Rosalie covered in raw meat reeled itself into my brain. "Just go get the package from the freezer," I replied. Emmett grimaced before turning to the fridge. He pulled the fridge door open, with an even bigger look of disgust on his face as he pulled the wrapped package covered in frost out of the freezer. He threw the package at me, his face still pulled together in a grimace.

"Gross, gross, gross," he chanted over and over wiping his hands all over his shirt and pants. Jasper could see him from the doorway and I couldn't help but to peek at what he was thinking of Emmett. It looks like he's making love to himself.

"Oh Edward, don't feel disgusted, it's only natural for a vampire. Although I don't think you can call Emmett natural, I mean him and Rosalie are going at it every second."

"I know, I have to say that them shacking up every two seconds is more disgusting than all the raw meat in the world," I replied letting a chuckle escape as I casually stirred around the pasta sauce that reminded me of the color of Bella's face whenever she blushed.

"Just because you're a prude, doesn't make the rest of us sexual addicts," retorted Emmett who was clearly offended.

"I am not a prude!" I shouted, loud enough for all of Forks to hear. The stirring picked up, causing some of the sauce to fly out of the pan and splatter nearly everywhere on the stove.

"Alright, then is sexually repressed right, then?" Jasper piped up. And here I thought Jasper was on my team, of course he wasn't. Nobody was ever on your team when you lived with a bunch of sexually active vampires and you were the only virgin. A hundred year old one at that. Alright, a hundred and a couple of extra years.

"Face it, if you and Bella don't start baking soon, when of you is going to explode," chortled Emmett.

"Damn it, both of you! Just help me cook this damn food," I bellowed throwing the package of frozen meat at their direction. My eyes nearly flew out of their sockets as I heard a girlish squeal. I expected it to be from Rosalie, possibly even Alice, but not Emmett.

"Emmett?" I asked; my jaw to the floor. The spoon I was stirring with was now sinking slowly into the pan of sauce.

He composed himself, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt only to reveal his muscles, and asked, "Yeah?" Supposedly, his deep voice was supposed to help his case.

Jasper was now having a fit on the floor, grasping his stomach, struggling to breathe. I just shook my head and turned back to the mess that was soon to be in Bella's stomach. I had made sure that I didn't poison her. Or let her choke herself, only she would have the capability of doing that. Faster than lightning, or at least how Bella put it, I stirred the sauce to the death and set it down. She'd be proud of me, for that at least.

I turned to now see Jasper struggling with the package on the meat, while Emmett stood a good ten feet away. He was jabbing at it with a spatula, which to my much dismay was only denting the innocent utensil. When that didn't work, and when it was successfully snapped into two, he reached for he reached for a two foot knife. Sharp and clearly dangerous to Bella, even if she was a room away. He lifted it high and struck it, letting out a growl. "Ah!"

The whole house seemed to vibrate underneath us as he attacked the meat, like it was some sort of monster. It was dead.

He kept stabbing at it, like he was winning some sort of war with it. "Die you fool, die, die!" His scream pierced my eyes; I could only imagine Bella's. I lunged for the knife, missing it dearly, but brought Jasper down with me. I pinned him down, the knife several yards away from both of us. We were both smothered in raw meat and Emmett was right. It was repulsive. The smell and way it felt made me want to take a shower for a year.

He thrashed against me, all while going for the knife, and letting out groans of victory and defeat. I tried my best to manipulate myself into feeling clam that way it could ride over into Jasper, but it didn't work. Distracted he pushed me off and pinned me down, all while grabbing for the knife. I tried my best to knock his balance, but it didn't work. Before he could successfully grab it or I could successfully get him off of me, the door swung open. Emmett.

He stood there with an incredulous look on his face, but soon his face morphed into a smirk. "You know," he chuckled, "this really doesn't work with two males, but hey you guys can try." He turned his back to holler towards the stairs, "Rosalie, come look, Jasper and Edward are trying it our style!"

With that, I could hear Bella's heartbeat pick up and she ran to the kitchen. Please God, don't fall, I thought. She, surprisingly and successfully, made it. Her face was flushed, but as soon as she saw what was before her, Jasper and I, him almost straddling me, with both of us covered in meat, only made her go redder. She bowed her head in shame and whispered, "Edward you really should have stuck to the apple.

A/N: Well…I'm not sure if this will be an oneshot; I kind of like the idea. Anyways please review and tell me what you think!

There was raw meat because Edward would have made meatballs with it…