Though they tried not to show it, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks spent a good month feeling extremely awkward around each other. They had good reason to be. Remus had finally admitted to his friend Sirius Black that he liked Tonks after choking on his tea when she entered the room, knocked over his own tea cup in an attempt to fix hers, defended her from Sirius' teasing, and caught Tonks after she slipped on some tea Sirius had spilled. After that horrible experience, he tried his best to act normal around her (a task he failed at miserably).
Tonks had noticed his odd behavior and confided in Sirius that she thought Remus had a girlfriend, then she began shouting in a jealous rage that this "girlfriend" was a slag and was only dating Remus because she felt sorry for him. Sirius, in a desperate attempt to shut Tonks up, blurted out that there was no girlfriend and Remus was acting strangely because he liked her. Well that was enough for Tonks to admit she liked Remus as well. Then the awkwardness began.
The two could hardly bring themselves to even glance at each other during an Order meeting. If they had to talk to each other, it would be while staring at their feet or the ceiling.
"Don't worry, you're not being obvious or anything about how you feel about her," Sirius said sarcastically as he put an extra blanket on a camp bed in his bedroom. Remus sighed and helped to straighten the blankets. He was staying in Sirius' bedroom over Christmas.
"Do you think she knows?" Remus asked worriedly. Sirius tensed up for a moment and looked uncomfortable.
"Maybe," Sirius answered. He quickly turned the other way and busied himself with straightening out some old letters on his desk. Remus' eyes grew wide.
"Sirius…Please tell me you didn't even hint to her that I like her," Remus pleaded. Sirius sighed and turned back to Remus.
"She suspected that you had a girlfriend," Sirius said truthfully. "But I told her thatit wasn't true and said nothing more. Unfortunately, now that she knows there's no girlfriend, she's probably thinking of other possibilities. Including you liking her." Remus groaned in to his pillow. Sirius didn't like to think of what his reaction would be if he knew what he really said to Tonks.
"So are you planning on giving her that present tomorrow morning?" Sirius asked as he settled in to his bed.
"Yes," Remus replied. He reached under his pillow and felt the small box in which Tonks' present was concealed. It was a simple bracelet and Sirius had paid for most of it, but Remus was quite glad with his choice all the same. He just hoped Tonks would like it when he gave it to her the next day.
Unfortunately she was not there at breakfast and she did not escort the Weasley family to St. Mungo's. Something was bothering Remus the whole day. Something in the back of his mind kept interrupting his thoughts. He pushed it back in to his mind further and further until they got back to Grimmauld Place. Remus ran upstairs and looked through his small pile of presents and his face immediately fell.
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked as he came in to the bedroom. Remus looked sadly at his pile of presents for a minute before answering.
"Not one of them is from…" He broke off, not able to finish his sentence. Sirius understood though.
"Mate, Tonks is forgetful sometimes. She probably just forgot."
Remus shook his head. "I was foolish to even think…It doesn't matter. I-I'm used to this by now."
"Used to-? Tonks isn't like that, Remus! She doesn't care that you're a werewolf." Remus didn't hear him, though. He was too absorbed in looking out the window. Later that evening, he went down to the kitchen with Sirius after most everybody had gone to bed. Molly was sitting at the table sipping some tea. Across from her was Tonks, sporting shoulder length, mouse-brown hair. Remus was dimly aware that his present for her was in his pocket. He was more focused that she was finding something very amusing about the letter she had in her hand.
"What're you reading there, Tonks?" Sirius asked, leaning in to read it. Tonks immediately clutched it protectively to her chest.
"It's not for you to read," she told Sirius. "It's private." These words brought back a memory that on any other occasion would've been nice to remember, but now it was painful. When James and Lily first started going out, James would slip her small notes he had written. These made Lily smile, blush, and sometimes laugh. Sirius would always try and read them over her shoulder but Lily would clutch them protectively to her chest just as Tonks did before.
"They're not for you to read, Sirius," Lily managed to say in between her giggles. "It's private."
Remus sadly came to the conclusion that Tonks definitely didn't care for him in the least bit. By the way she had protected the letter in her hand, it seemed somebody else had stolen her affections.
"So why's your hair like that?" Remus heard Sirius ask. He looked up and wondered how he got to the table with a cup of piping hot tea in his hand. "Last time I saw it like that, you were really depressed because your cat died."
"Oh," Tonks said dimly, tucking the letter in to an inside pocket of her cloak. "Mum insisted I have my hair a 'normal color' for Christmas."
"Why don't you change it back to a normal color for you?"
"Because…I'm in the middle of an emotional upheaval thanks to the holidays. I had to do a load of shopping for Christmas presents for everybody …" Remus couldn't listen after that. He quietly excused himself and went upstairs to his camp bed. He was there awake for a long time after Sirius came in to sleep. The same thought kept running through his mind: Tonks bothered with buying everybody else a present but him. She didn't care for him in the least bit. So Remus was a little less than pleased when he found out that Tonks was coming along to bring everyone back to school.
Thankfully, he didn't have to speak to her until after they had said their goodbyes to Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley children.
"I think he'll be alright," Tonks decided as the two watched all six teenagers make their way up the path to the school. "As soon as he learns to shut his mind to these-Oh! I've finally remembered!" Tonks muttered something to the conductor Stan and gave him some money.
"We're going back to my flat," Tonks decided, steering Remus in to a seat next to her. "I keep on forgetting to bring by your Christmas present and I know it's a little late, but better now than never." Remus felt a swooping sensation in his stomach that had nothing to do with the Knight Bus and he gave Tonks a smile.
"I kept on doing the same with your present," Remus said. "I meant to give it to you at Christmas…but…" Remus trailed off, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and nausea. This time, it did have something to do with the bus. When the bus came to a halt outside of a small building, Remus ran off the bus in front of Tonks and put his hands on the wall, leaning against it.
"Are you okay?" Remus heard Tonks asked. He felt the hair stand on the back of his neck as Tonks rubbed a hand comfortingly on his back.
"I've been worse," Remus managed to choke out.
"Come on," Tonks coaxed, dropping her hand from his back. Remus was glad he was turned away from her. That way, she couldn't see the disappointment on his face.
"I'm right on the first floor. So you won't have to walk far or up any stairs." She grabbed Remus' hand and led him inside and down a hallway. He dimly registered where he was even going or the lock clicks or the opening of a door. He only registered where he was when he saw he was sitting on a bedroom. Remus did not see Tonks anywhere. She soon appeared again with a glass of water, her appearance had turned back to bubble gum pink hair.
"Drink it," she ordered, shoving the glass in to his hands. Remus did not need telling twice. He gulped the water down gratefully. He looked around for Tonks to give her the glass but she had once again, disappeared. This time, she had not left the room. She had simply crouched down on the floor and was removing Remus' shoes from his feet.
"What're you doing?" he asked weakly, stifling a yawn.
"You need rest," Tonks replied, setting the shoes by her bedroom door. "Cloak," she said shortly, holding out her hand. She helped him off with it. Remus thought he heard a small thunk on the floor but did not have time to think about it. Tonks had taken the glass away from him and was pulling back the blue blanket and moving Remus under it.
"Sleep. Don't try arguing either." Remus closed his eyes and settled himself more comfortably in to the bed, a small trace of a smile on his face.
"Good," Tonks whispered. "You just rest, I'm going to step out for a minute."
"Why? To see your boyfriend?" Remus asked bitterly before he could stop himself. His eyes were now wide open and he was sitting up in the bed. Tonks blinked at him.
"What?" she asked confusedly.
"Well judging by that letter you were giggling uncontrollably over at Christmas, it seems to me like you have one. I've seen plenty of girls laugh just the same way over a letter and they've all been from a boyfriend. What was written in there, anyway?"
Tonks, had been growing angrier and angrier by the second while Remus spoke. When she finally spoke her turn, it was in a deadly whisper.
"It's none of your bloody business what was in that letter, Remus. I was just going out to get a Daily Prophet because I thought you would've liked to read it after taking a nap. Now that we're done with that interrogation, I'm leaving. Oh, and by the way," Tonks said, turning back to Remus. "That letter was something from my dad! "
With that, Tonksslammed the bedroom door shut.Remus heard her do the same to the front door of her flat. He groaned and buried his face in Tonks' pillow. How could he have been so stupid? She wasn't seeing anybody, and Remus had ruined any chance he had hadwith her.
I am such an idiot, Remus thought to himself before drifting off to sleep.
Remus woke up again some time later. The light streaming in through the window had changed somewhat and he could hear some noise coming from another part of the flat and the smell of something cooking. He sat up in bed as Tonks came in to the room.
"You look a lot better," she observed, glancing at him. She started going about the room, straightening things that didn't need straightening, determinedly avoiding Remus' eyes.
"Sorry," Remus apologised quietly. Tonks froze and whipped her head around towards him. "I shouldn't have..." he trailed off.
"It's fine," Tonks assured him. "I just finished making some lunch if you want any." Remus nodded and stood up, stretched, and began remaking Tonks' bed. He had just smoothed out the blanket when Tonks held out a brightly wrapped present to him.
"Happy Christmas," she said with a smile. Remus took it and unwrapped it to reveal possibly the largest Chocolate Frog he had ever seen, accompanied by a wristwatch.
"Thanks Tonks," Remus said, beaming. Before he knew what he was doing he had wrapped his arms around Tonks in a hug. He pulled back from it a little reluctantly and busied himself with fastening the watch to his wrist.
"Well, let's go have some…what's this?" Tonks asked suddenly. Remus looked around at Tonks and immediately wished he could just dissolve in to the carpet. He now knew what the small thunk on the floor when he removed his cloak had been. Tonks bent down and picked up the small box with a bright bow on top. Tonks picked up the small piece of paper attached to it and Remus cursed his Gryffindor courage for what he wrote there.
" 'To: Tonks; Love, Remus'," she read aloud
What the hell was I thinking? Remus thought to himself. Love? LOVE?
"It…er, must've…fallen out of my cloak when I took it off earlier," Remus said, embarrassed. He tried to back away some, but found that he was already right up against the wall with nowhere to go.
Tonks opened up the box and gasped.
"Remus!" she breathed. "It's so…thank you!" She went right up to Remus and threw her arms around him. Remus wasn't exactly sure of who started it, but the next thing he knew, he was kissing Tonks full on the mouth. He didn't pull away though he just kissed her back with a mixture of happiness and shock. He was kissing Tonks! He was kissing Tonks. It was one of the most wonderful things to happen to him in his entire existance. Tonks finally realized what she was doing; she jumped back from him as if she had just been shocked with electricity. Her hands were clamped over her mouth and her violet eyes were open wide with shock.
"Oh, Remus! I'm-I-I don't know what came over me! I-I-I-I'm-"
"You like me?!" Remus sputtered. He was amazed he was able to say even that much. He had been thoroughly shocked by what had just happened.
"What?" Tonks asked distractedly. "Didn't Sirius tell you? He accidentally blurted it out to me when I suspected that you had a girlfriend that you liked me, then I admitted to him that I liked you…" Tonks trailed off, red in the face. Remus felt himself stiffen.
"I'm going to kill him," he growled in a low voice.
"You can kill him later," Tonks told him with a smile. She fastened the bracelet to her wrist and grabbed Remus' hand. "We're having lunch now." She led a dazed and smiling Remus out of the room. He'd have to decide later if he wanted to kill Sirius or thank him.