"I can't believe we got soup-bone duty again," Jake said as he shoveled aside another clump of dirt. Graves on Apokolips weren't buried deep, but the ground was so hard that it made little difference. Each shovelful was a mere pittance of soil.
"Could be worse." Scott hammered into the grave-soil with his pickax. "We could be one of the poor suckers in training with the Furies!"
A klaxon sounded, followed by the well-known goose-stepping of the Female Fury battalion. Within a matter of moments, the cemetery was swarming with Furies standing at statuesque attention.
"Attention orphans!" Granny Goodness shrilled out of the nearest loudspeaker. "The Furies will be training with you today in mercy management!"
There was a chorus of groans.
"Be honored that you are allowed to participate in the cleansing of mercy and compassion from our valiant warriors! In Darkseid's infinite fairness, only the lazy will be volunteered. Work sloppy and you will feel pain! Work hard and you will feel less pain!"
The orphans redoubled their efforts. Scott, however, only had eyes for one thing and it wasn't the grave.
"Who is that?" he exhaled.
"Scott, less talk, more pick. This soil isn't going to loosen itself."
Scott hammered the soil, breaking it up into grits for Jake. "Look at her. She's beautiful."
"She's a Fury," Jake said. "They're all scarred and mutated and…" He noticed one of the larger Furies overhearing.
"But beauty is in the eye of the beholder!" Scott said quickly. The Fury shocked them both with her pain-baton before resuming her stroll through the headstones.
Scott rubbed the sore spot where the pain-baton had hit. "I don't think she needs any lessons in mercy management… but look! She does!"
The woman he was looking at was the only Fury who wasn't enthusiastically thrashing the orphans. She very much looked like she was willing to, but her eyes shied away from the torment and her pain-stick remained in its holster.
"She, she, she! Which one? They all look alike!"
"The one with no scars!" Scott hissed admiringly. "Not even a bruise!"
"So she's really good at hurting people," Jake said dismissively. "So's my mom, you don't see me bragging about it."
"But she hasn't even ritualistically mutilated herself! Every promotion-hungry Fury does that! And she's still so… pretty."
"Duck!"
Jake pulled Scott behind the headstone. They dug harder.
"What? What?"
"I think she saw us looking at her."
"She did?"
"She may have."
"She may have?"
Scott looked over the top of the headstone.
"Keep digging!" Jake ordered.
Scott waved at her.
"Don't wave!"
The woman looked at Scott, than pointedly looked away.
"You have a death wish, Free. A death wish!"
"It's Apokolips. We're supposed to have death wishes."
"For Darkseid, not for ourselves!" Jake realized what he had said and quickly censored himself. "I mean, we're supposed to want to die for Darkseid, not for… some girl!"
"She's not just some girl, Jake. She's merciful and beautiful and she waved back!"
"Darkseid's testes, there's something wrong with you."
"Tell her I'm being sluggish."
"What?"
"Just do it!"
Jake stood up as if fearing an Omega Beam would destroy him at any moment. "Excuse me, ma'ma? You there, ma'am?"
The woman looked at him as if he had just been scraped off someone's shoe. "Yes?"
"My friend here… well, he's not my friend, acquaintance… is slacking off."
"I just don't feel like working today," Scott said in a listlessly theatrical manner, one arm leaning against the headstone.
The woman grumbled and bulldozed toward them with hearty stomps. She arrived at the grave, all seven feet of her. Scott and Jake could both fit comfortably into her shadow.
"Maybe you could let me off with a warning?" Scott offered with a smile.
"Dig."
"Digging!" Jake said as they both got back to work. The woman circled around at a short distance.
"She didn't shock me. You know what that means?"
"You have the devil's own luck?"
"I already know that," Scott said with a dismissive wave. "I think it means she likes me."
"She's a Fury! They don't like anyone!"
"She's not like other Furies…" Scott said as his digging slowed. He looked over at the woman. "Excuse me, ma'am…"
She glared at Scott. "Speak."
"What's your name?"
The woman crossed her arms. "Barda."
"Barda. That's a pretty name."
Jake thought he would have a coronary. "Excuse my friend, Bar… ma'am. Heatstroke, you see. He's not in his right mind."
"I can see that."
"It's my best quality," Scott said, grinning. "Well, okay, top ten."
"Cadet Barda!" Granny Goodness shouted. "Your tally shows no pain recipes. Step it up!"
Barda looked around for someone to shock, but all of them looked thoroughly cowed and miserable. No one who deserved to be…
Scott checked his watch, which did not exist. "Say, don't we get a lunch break around here?"
Barda shocked him in the stomach.
"Coffee?"
Shocked again.
"Maybe just a cigarette?"
"Three shocks in as many ticks!" Granny Goodness said, impressed. "Don't overwork him, now. You could kill him and his bones aren't big enough for good soup."
Scott began digging again, nursing his stomach. "So, what do you do when you aren't torturing people?"
Barda arched an eyebrow. How the hell could he still be giving lip? It was virtually courageous. No one was courageous on Apokolips. You did what you had to do to avoid pain and death. Facing injury to make a point was anathema to all Darkseid stood for.
Barda… found him somewhat… interesting.
"Think about torturing people," Barda said.
"Oh, me too. Personally, I'll just kick a guy a bunch. I'm old-school that way."
Barda's lip spasmed upward.
"Hey! You smiled!"
"I did not!" Barda said indignantly.
"He saw it," Scott said, jerking his thumb towards Jake.
"No, I didn't."
"What's this about a smile?" Granny Goodness demanded as she stampeded to their worksite.
"Me, ma'am!" Scott sprung to his feet. "I was just thinking about your face and one thing led to another…"
Granny Goodness unhitched her whip from her belt. Barda stepped in front of her, delivering her pain-baton to Scott's knee. "Sir, allow me!"
"That's a good girl. Show initiative for Granny," Granny Goodness said approvingly before walking away.
Scott gagged on the floor like a fish out of water. After a moment, Barda hauled him to his feet.
"Thanks."
"You're thanking me for shocking you?" Barda asked.
"Beats the alternative. And it was worth it to see you smile."
And Barda, having not learned her lesson, smiled again.