What the Akatsuki Do When They're Bored

Kisame

It was an unusually bright day. All of the Akatsuki members were outside enjoying themselves. All of them, that is, except Kisame. He didn't want to go outside. If he was outside on sunny days like this, he would get a horrible case of sunburn. So Kisame was sitting, cross-legged, on the couch watching the fishing channel. He had just finished his third burger and was slowly drinking a jumbo cola. He was just bored.

Kisame slowly rose from his sitting position on the couch. He started drinking his cola and then threw it on the floor when he realized he would receive no more cola from it. He stretched, raising his arms in the air, and then slumped over into a big yawn. He started to pace in circles to get his blood flowing and then he picked up his sword. He swung it around a few times and then put it on his back and walked in the kitchen.

Kisame arrived in the kitchen and opened up the fridge. He pulled out a chicken leg and started to munch on it. He walked out of the kitchen and headed toward his room. As he was walking down the hallway, and munching on the bird, he gazed at the paintings as he passed them. He wasn't much of a friend with Pein though, he hated the paintings more. When he came up to his room, he found it spotless, so he came to the conclusion that Itachi had been in it recently. Kisame hated how Itachi always came and cleaned his room. So Kisame quickly dirtied it up and sat on his bed.

He snatched the issue of ClayBoy that Deidara gave to him and started reading it. After a few moments, Kisame threw it on threw ground along with his chicken leg and snarled. He liked FishBoy much better. So Kisame got up and grabbed the mask that Tobi gave him. The mask was in the shape of a fish and covered most of Kisame's face. He went ahead and put it on. He snarled and ripped it off because it rubbed his now dry skin the wrong way. Kisame searched for his bottle of moisturizer and opened it up.

He squirted a large amount of it into his hands and rubbed them together. He put them up to his cheeks and started to apply it in a slow motion.

"Wax on…wax off…wax on…wax off." Kisame mumbled to keep himself on beat. When he used all of the lotion in his hands he closed the bottle and threw it back on the shelf. He crept over to Scratch, his pet fish, and started waving his moist hand at it.

Scratch slowly swam in a circle and then did a flip. Kisame smiled, he was his best friend. He grabbed the can of fish food and sprinkled some into his hand. He then dumped it into the bowl and watched Scratch rapidly eat it. Kisame wondered why Scratch liked it so much, and he put a few minutes into thinking about it. So Kisame sprinkled some more into his hand and he licked it up.

He loved it.

Kisame actually liked it. He dumped the rest of the can in his mouth and craved more. He ran over to the closet where he kept the food and grabbed another can. He wolfed it down and grabbed another. He continued the process until he was out of cans. He collapsed on his bed, he was bloated. He lay in the middle with his limbs hanging over the sides. Soon though, Kisame drifted off into a heavy sleep.

Kisame woke to a spotless room with the blinds to his window pulled up so there was sunshine streaming in. Kisame panicked…his skin was drying out. He grabbed the bottle of lotion and started applying it to his whole body this time. He took time to vigorously spread it, and when he was finished, he was all moist. He realized that he was hungry and ran out to the kitchen, forgetting to close the blinds.

He opened up the fridge and pulled out a cup ramen. He placed it in the microwave and watched the cup spin around while it was heating up. He kept getting the urge that he forget to do something, but pushed the thought away. He pulled out the pork flavored ramen out of the microwave and grabbed ma pair of chopsticks.

"Idatakimatsu!" He chanted and then started eating. It took him no time to finish the small cup of ramen so he had a few more. He finished a dozen in an hour and went back to his room so he could polish his sword.

He froze at the entrance of his room. Sunlight had covered his room! Most of it was on Scratch's fish tank, and the outcome was that the water was evaporating. Kisame dashed over to Scratch and pulled him out of the puddle of his home.

Kisame didn't have anything to put him so he just rubbed moisturizer on him. He stroked every part of the fish and let him lay on his stomach. Kisame soon looked up and saw the lifeless body of his best friend.

"Why…why does the world have to be so cruel?" Kisame sobbed. His skin was peeling, so Kisame grabbed the moisturizer and applied it bottle between sobs. His eyes met the back of the bottle. There it read: hazardous to the health of fish. Kisame then realized that it was him who killed Scratch.

"Oh," he mumbled and applied some more to himself. Suddenly a light bulb clicked on in his head. He was part fish! "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" He screamed as he ran toward the bathroom.