This is internal. A battle that can't be fought outside the body. A personal attack on the inside of me that could ultimately defeat me. The existence I think is real is useless. Nothing more than a broken memory of the life I don't want to be real. My life has only been brought up by the deaths of others. The only purpose for me is to kill the ones that live around me. To bring death to the ones that brought me life. To insure...that I will never disappear...

Cool winds of night over his creeping footsteps. The smell of blood follows him wherever he goes. His haunting eyes show death and hate. The blood lust overtakes onlookers as they stare at him, wondering what he thinks each day. Wondering how he can watch the life of someone leave them; never to breathe again. His cold presence was enough to kill someone. As long as there are people to kill in this great, wide world... I will never disappear.

"Gaara-kun, you have a lot of explaining to do! It's 12:26 in the morning and you're wandering around the city like some mindless zombie!" Kankuro screams at his little brother. "What the hell were you thinking? You got the whole city in an uproar and you look like nothings wrong with it."

Gaara doesn't look at his brother. There was nothing wrong with taking a walk at night. He'd rather walk around the village than be stuck in a tiny, dark room where he feels like he's choking for breath. He barely has eyes off him anyways. Why can't they just leave me alone? I wasn't doing anything. They shouldn't worry their mindless heads over me. He looked at the ground, angry and bitter. He wished his brother would get off his back. At the moment, everything was going wrong and nothing made sense. Why couldn't Kankuro accept that he just needed to be alone for a moment. He stood there silent, clutching his fist. He was sick of him. He was sick of everything. "Are you even listening to me Gaara! You can't do a stunt like this again"

"Just shut up you worthless excuse of a human," Gaara sneers. His voice cold and evil. His head still down towards the ground. His green eyes staring at his brother. "You're not my babysitter. Just my brother. Don't treat me like you mindless slave. I could kill you right now so don't ever raise your voice at me again." He lifts his head and walks towards his home.

Kankuro stands there, dumbfounded. His brother has never been that nasty to him in a long time. Not sense his demon was out of control in his body. He hasn't made a single death threat in so long. Something wasn't right.

Have no reason to live
No reason for me to exist
No reason...
For me
"Temari, can I talk to you for a minute?" Kankuro says, cracking the door wide enough so he could fit through. He needed to speak to his sister privately. There wasn't anyone else that could understand Gaara better than himself and Temari.

Temari stared at her younger brother. Her blond hair was down on her back and her clothes ragged and messy. She didn't have time to pay attention to her brother yet he seemed more worried than he usually was. She threw her book bag down on her bed. She'd have to prepare for her mission to the leaf village later. For right now, her family came first. "What's with the worry? You seemed more bothered than usual."

Kankuro closed the door behind him. Temari knew immediately this was about Gaara. She sat on down her bed, letting Kankuro sit down on the chair in front of it. She could tell it was serious. Kankuro's eyes were nervous, more anxious than she had ever seen them before. It made her more worried than usual. "It's about Gaara. He's been acting funny again. He sneaks out at night and walks around the village. The smell of blood seems to always be around him more often. And just now, he threatened to kill me. He hasn't done that for several months." Kankuro pauses. "It's that demon. Shukaku. It's been awaken again."

Temari stared blankly at him. She'd been noticing the same things that Kankuro had been. He's been darker, more evil than he has been the months following the chunin exams. She wondered if there was a possible chance that his demon had been awaken. It's been dormant for so long. What would suddenly awaken it? Nothing has happened that would randomly wake it up? What's more, what will happen to Gaara? The last time Shukaku was awake, Gaara killed anyone, or anything, that angered him. He was a murderous monster she even feared to anger. Temari noticed Kankuro's hand trembling. She had never seen him this shaken up about it. "We'll monitor him from a distance. It's all we can do right now," she says calmly. "We can't let him on that we're watching him. That would be a fatal mistake for us to do right now. But we'll watch him. Notice any changes in his behavior."

Kankuro nodded in agreement, knowing it was the only thing they could do. He wondered if it would be like several months before; where any living thing was at risk to become the next victim. Where anything that walked could be killed if it angered Gaara. It scared him. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to see Gaara like that again. It was something he feared for a long time. Seeing Gaara return to his old self, and watch Temari and himself fight to keep themselves alive. Both his hands began to tremble. His heart beat raced in his chest. Would he be able to live through that again? "Temari...I don't think I can watch him like that. I don't think..."

"Calm down, Kankuro. We have to watch him. If we don't want a repeat of what happened to him, we need to watch him. Otherwise, we'll have to face him like that again. I know that's not something you ever want to see but it could turn out like that if we don't."

Kankuro stood up, walking towards the door. So many things were racing through his mind that he couldn't think straight. He couldn't begin to grasp any part of what was actually happening. It made him crazy. He wished nothing like this would happen to him again yet right now, it seemed like that would happen. The blood-lust eyes returning to their fearful gaze. The smell of death following his every haunting footstep. But this time, it might be even more powerful. It might be more deadly. It might be even more evil than it once was. He stopped before fully exiting. "I don't think we'll survive this time if his demon awakes again. And that's what I fear the most. I don't think Gaara can survive a second time." I don't think any of us can...


It was death that gave me life
Now it's the one thing that sustains me
Just you wait
I'll kill you all...
I can't control this anymore. I feel like it's surrounding and I have no idea what to do. It's not something I want to return to yet it's eating away any sort of happiness I've been feeling for the past few months. I can't...I won't let it...IT CAN'T CONTROL ME AGAIN!!

Gaara awoke with a scream, breathing heavy as he stared around his room. The same rustic brown color surrounded him. The same bright sunlight shining through the sand-made windows. He sighed, relieved. Another nightmare haunting his sleep. This had been going on for several days. What was happening to him? He moved his body so his feet touched the ground. He sat there, letting the warm sun soak into his body. He wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, pushing back the red hairs that hung in his face. "This can't be happening to me. I just need to calm down a little." he says to himself, slowly breathing in and out.

He raises to his feet, walking towards the bathroom in his room. He stares in the mirror, looking at his reflection. It suddenly takes shape of his old self, lusting after the death of others. The face of Shukaku stares at him in the eye. He topples over his own feet, hitting the ground. His heart beat races in his chest once more. He stands back up to look in the mirror. Just his reflection again. He relaxes a little, turning on the shower next to him. He removes his clothes and steps in, letting the lukewarm water pour drip down his skin. He remains motionless for a moment, lost in thought. If it's really awoken, I have to warn Temari and Kankuro. I can't let them get hurt because of me. Naruto. I have to get help from him. He'll know what to do. I'll ask Temari to see if he's come back yet. He knows me more than anyone. I have to get help.

An abrupt knock on the door surprised him. He threw his thoughts aside. At the moment, they weren't important. He turned off the shower, stepping out and wrapping the towel around his body. He stepped towards the door. "Who is it?" he asks.

The voice doesn't respond for a moment. "It's Kankuro, you're brother. I need to talk to you for a moment if you don't mind. I'll let you get dressed before you talk though. But it's just important that I talk to you today. Please." Kankuro says, his voice shaky. He was shaky himself, wondering if he had calmed down from last night. He hoped he had.

Gaara could hear the worry in his voice. It surprised him Kankuro would actually be worried. Behind his tough guy exterior lied someone that actually had a bigger heart and cared about people more than he'd let on. It didn't surprise him. He was the first to find out about his interior. About a person that cares more about his family than he does his own self. Must've been something he learned from their stay at the leaf village. He dressed himself, having brought clean clothes in the bathroom with him. He walked out of the bathroom, looking at Kankuro and taking a moment to speak. "There's obviously something bothering you." Gaara says.

Kankuro looks to the floor, thinking of what exactly to say. He's not sure of how to put it into words, but he'll try his best to make it make sense. He twiddles his fingers nervously. A habit he didn't want to pick up. He relaxes himself before he speaks. Becoming nervous wouldn't help him right now. "Look Gaara...Temari and I both notice that you haven't been yourself lately. You're more...disturbed. Darker. More evil. You threatened my life yesterday. You haven't done that sense the chunin exams." Kankuro pauses. He stares directly in Gaara's eyes. "We're worried that...Shukaku has been awaken again."

Gaara is startled at first. Had it been that obvious? Had he not noticed that his mood to others had changed as well. He clenched his fist. He grew angry, but he wasn't going to take it out on Kankuro. He was only worried about him. Gaara breahed in slowly, calming down before he spoke again. "It's not just you that's been noticing then." he responds.

Kankuro is surprised. So it was true, and it seemed Gaara was just as scared as he was about it. So he's pretty shaken up himself. He knows what's at risk. That's a start at least. Now just what to do about it. Kankuro walked over to his brother, sitting next to him on his. He looked at Gaara's hand. His fist was clenched tightly, trembling. His eyes were full of fear. Apparently this has been going on for a couple days now. "Gaara...you still have Temari and me here. We've been here for you."

"But I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone if Shukaku awakens again. I can't do that again. I've already killed so many...I don't want that number to raise any higher than it already is. I want to be someone people look up to, not someone people fear as a monster. I've lived that part of my life and I refuse to go there again. I just can't be that again." Gaara suddenly blurts out.

His head falls onto Kankuro's lap. Tears pour down his face. Kankuro has never seem him like this before. It startled him to the point he didn't know what to do. He stroked his brother's head, still dumbfounded. Another side of Gaara he had no idea that even existed. It's something he hadn't expected to see. The shocker for his day. Maybe his entire life. We have to help him. I don't know how or what to do...but we have to help him with this. He comforted his brother. Gaara stared blankly out the window, tears still dripping down his face. It was too much. What was worse...he didn't tell his brother every detail about what was happening. It was coming...sooner than he intended.


Who am I?
What am I?
I'm not so sure I know anymore...
The end...for now.
I'll write more in the next chapter
Tell me if you liked it or not
It takes a different approach on Gaara and his family
A more emotional side