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Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

Rule 8:

"I will not use Umbridge's quill to write 'I told you I was hardcore'."


Soffian Ryder, currently a rowdy sixth year whose goal it was to piss off everyone in the year above him before they graduated and he ended up the victim of annoying sixth years, was completely and utterly, unavoidably bo-o-o-red-d-d.

He paced the Slytherin common room in agitation, growling constantly in the back of his throat, and glowering at the blazing fire every time he passed it. There was always a fire going in the Slytherin common room, cold as it was down in the dungeons.

Suddenly, there was a commotion outside and the wall concealing the entrance to the common room slid back. A little blond girl stumbled in, crying.

After a moment, Soffian recognised her as his sister, Millie, who was in first year (and her goal was to torture everyone in second year until they graduated).

Spying Soffian, Millie dashed across the common room, tripping over her own feet in her haste to get to him and throw her arms around him. When she did, he patted her awkwardly- for what boy knows how to deal with a crying girl?- on the back.

"What's up, Millie?" he asked before he had time to think about what he was going to say.

"The b- boys were being m- mean t- to me…" Millie whimpered, clutching him tighter.

It took him a while to sufficiently reassure his sister, but eventually she headed off, content with his promise of pranking the socks off the boys for the rest of their lives. Now, he rejoined his group of friends.

"Aww…" Mark commented, laughing, "Soffian's such a softie, looking out for his sister!"

"Yeah," Xavier was quick to agree. "She's a Slytherin and you're a Slytherin, mate, you gotta' learn to let her take care of herself. You're acting like a Gryffindor, softie."

"Softie-Soffian, Softie-Soffian!" they chanted, amused at his embarrassment.

"Don't listen to them. I think it's great that you help your sister out like that," Diana, the only girl of the group, told him. She smiled at him comfortingly as she shoved Mark off the edge of another boy, Tyler's armchair, taking his place for herself.

Soffian grinned at her. "Thanks."

Temporarily dropping the subject, they started a comment on the fit girls of the school- to which Diana hid her head in her hands and proclaimed, "I will come out when you are done."

Needless to say, they retaliated in a sarcastic manner, joking about where she ranked on their list. ("I'd say your about 360ieth out of 50." "Oh, well I thought she'd be first, ya' know, seeing as she's our friend and all.")

Their conversation drew to an end, and they all headed off to bed at Diana's urging (motherly much?), however, we all know Mark and Xavier. They couldn't resist having the last word.

"Well, I still think Soffian's a softie."

Diana let out a savage growl and lunged at Mark to howls of "Are you a girl or a boy? Violence!". Meanwhile, despite his annoyance, Soffian was cracking up laughing in the background. Mark scowled at him from where he had taken refuge; behind one of the lush green and silver sofas.

Finally, the four boys and Diana managed to retire to their dormitories, and Soffian succeeded in evading all further comments on his relationship with his sister and his "questionable" masculinity.

The next day...

It was with his friends' words in mind that Soffian woke up the next morning, with his friends' words in his mind that he went to his Defence Against the Dark Arts class, and with those exact same words in his mind that he got detention- on purpose- from Umbridge. He would show his friends that he was no softie!

That night in detention...

Soffian was late for his detention, not because he forgot about it, but because he had avoided telling Diana about it until the last moment, always a bad idea. Regardless, when he finally arrived at the office-of-the-devil (Umbridge), a good fifteen minutes late, he managed to stay nonchalant and cheeky. As usual.

"You're late." Well, he certainly hadn't got the friendly welcome he had been hoping for!

Whilst Soffian wrote, Umbridge quickly busied herself with marking papers at her desk (she had, Soffian noted, written a neat little 'D' on every single one so far). For this reason, she didn't notice what exactly Soffian was scrawling on the piece of parchment she had laid out for him. She contented herself with the fact that he was indeed using her beloved quill, and thus would soon learn his lesson.

He wouldn't.

Instead of "I will not disrespect teachers", he had written "I told you I was hardcore" neatly across the parchment in lines, so as not to rouse her suspicion. According words had appeared on his hand.

Thus, when he started moaning and groaning in pain about a half an hour in (with only about ten minutes of true writing having gone by), she let him go without a second thought.

When Soffian returned to the common room, Diana practically jumped him in her haste to make sure he had survived his detention in one piece.

"Lemme' see your hand, lemme' see your hand, lemme' seeeeeee!" She snatched his hand to her, flipping it over to examine the damage.

"SOFFIAN!" Her cry resounded all over the castle for months, never allowing Soffian- or anyone else for that matter- to forget that day.


Notes: Wow, an extra long chappie for you lot, seeing as I haven't updated in so long! Ont aht note- I am so terrible sorry about not updating! I had the chapter mostly written out, but then my exams were upon me, and I couldn't finish the chapter. Then there was the mad rush before Christmas. But the chapter is here now, and I'm writing the next one. Er, I don't know how long it will take though.

Happy New Year to you all!

Important: As promised, I will me writing a multi-chaptered story soon. Please visit my profile and vote as to which one you want. The poll closes at the end of January, so make sure to get your votes up quick! Thank you!