Title: To Rouse a Sleeping Lion Frog

Warnings: ... muahahah

Summary: Yuuri knew that giving Gwendal a dangerous sign would spell trouble, but who would actually get him to do such a thing?

As the King's right hand man when it concerned Shin Makoku's politics – although Gwendal preferred the term 'office slave' – he was often wrought with countless of responsibilities regarding his beloved country's political standing. Gwendal had endless knowledge concerning these sorts of complicated subjects that mere dim-bulbs like Shibuya Yuuri (and he says that with all due respect, of course) could possibly understand. It was a talent of sorts that he held in high regard and pride like a blue badge of honor.

And yes, he was still the guy who read and handpicked the important royal documents that the King had to sign since the boy was nothing but two pastries short a bran muffin.

His intimate relationship with Shin Makoku's many predicaments was well placed that he could still remember the problems their local farmers were currently facing in the north about some gibberish-speaking barbarians who dared destroy some of their property; he could still remember every proposal, every rebellion, every request, and all those things that could make your head turn once you read them all (that is, if you managed to read them all, of course). Gwendal knew them all, and without his experience, His Majesty would lose a few knots on his brain and would gather stress lines on his forehead.

But right now, the stack of the so-called 'important documents' were sitting untouched to his left.

And our man Gwendal, the right hand man behind the crown, had other things to worry about other than a couple of farmers getting their heads lopped off by hired ninjas after they refused to give their boss a percentage of their crops. Innocent lives be damned, his adorable younger brother's marriage life was at stake.

A few additional creases showed itself on Gwendal's face.

Now you all should not be surprised that the source of his troublesome pondering was the King himself. Or rather, the King's quite interesting take of what Gwendal might want for his coming birthday. All things considered, Gwendal thought it fair not to pin all this (whatever this monstrosity was… it even had a smiley face on it, for godsakes) to the King. He knew that Yuuri wouldn't dare give him something so tasteless for fear of incurring Gwendal's icy wrath.

Hmm.

But Gwendal suspected a second later – and not even a millisecond passed after the horrifyingly cute terror let out a small squeak – that there was someone who had to pull the King's strings to start this off.

"This is…" unspeakable, that's what it was. He couldn't stop staring at the odd, bunny shaped contraption which gave off a horrible surprise whenever you squeezed it. It was probably a bit impractical since… oh hell, he would not think about its mechanics thankyouverymuch, he'd rather have what's left of his childlike innocence intact.

He rubbed his temples with his shaking hands and sighed as if the problems of the world were in his shoulders. He was probably just overreacting – it was impossible for the King to actually… was it? Was it impossible for the idiot, naïve King of Shin Makoku to have hidden his penchant for the perverse for so long? Because if he certainly had managed to cook up this nightmarish looking thing then what other terrible contraption was under the King's belt that he might, or already had... do to Wolfram?

Gwendal paused and felt his brain short circuit.

"ANISSINA!"

It was Anissina who was capable of such monstrosities. Anissina with her hardwired monster personality that could even terrify Gwendal pissless. Anissina and her talent of snake-like persuasion that could go through the King's skull with a large drill bit and a war hammer.

No matter Gwendal's desire to be as unbiased and open-minded as he could toward our favorite king, he decided that he had a lot of neck wringing in him, all of which were reserved for that bloody wimp.

Gwendal picked up his pace and practically ran toward Anissina's laboratory like a bull goat on fire. Reaching the large doors of the foreboding place – and he died inside when he realized that he just ran to Anissina's laboratory, of all places – he rapped on it with such violent vigor, almost breaking it off its hinges. Moments later their resident dominatrix opened the door while nursing a small bowl of chicken soup and a rather bad case of the summer sniffles. No. This will not make him feel guilty.

"Gwendal, how nice of you to visit your poor, sick friend." She coughed, her rough voice making her voice sound like a scratched record.

This will not make him feel guilty.

"I –"

"Can you believe this?" Anissina, teary eyes and all, pointed to her stuffed nose and sniffled dramatically, "Almost got pneumonia from yesterday's gathering mission."

"Ani…"

"Not enough ingredients for my latest and greatest creation, see, this time I'm aiming to help the poor and sickly." she turned back to her room, leaving Gwendal staring at her, mouth forming silent words and funny choking sounds, "I'd have you try it after I get over this awful cough." Anissina grabbed a rather large tissue box from a small coffee table next to one of her soft seats, and primly sat down with a watery sniffle. "Can you believe it? Rikos didn't know how to find the good ingredients, like those toxic horseshoe leaves and deathshrooms, so I had to pull my weight around instead. Newbies. Honestly."

"Anissina, please."

It irked him that she didn't look as flustered as he'd hope she'd be, "Mm? Something on your mind, dear Gwen?"

He pulled her latest (hopefully) invention from one of his pockets with a strong disgusted look on his face, "Are you responsible for this?"

"Oh that," she nodded, and smiled almost – almost – reverently, that he actually began to feel scared, "Funny thing, actually, there I was minding my own business, and…"

"What is this?"

" – I had just finished working on my 'Stop-My-Internal-Bleeding-Kun', and then I realized how my creative ideas began to loose its luster. My latest invention was boring. I found out too late that I was on a horrible mind block that I couldn't get out off, which rather explained the 'Cut-Your-Nose-Hair-kun'." That prompted a lot of bad memories in Gwendal's mind. "But thankfully His Majesty later on provided me with a rather interesting list of things that I wouldn't have thought of at all..."

"A list? Of things?" Gwendal almost had a heart attack.

"A whole list – I still have it here." Anissina took out a rumpled notepad from her pink robe pocket and handed it to Gwendal's shaking hands. "His Majesty and I had surprisingly formed a nice bond over this new hobby of his. And did you notice at all of his sudden interest in Lady Cheri's collection of novellas? Who knew that our young King would grow up to be such a stud? Wolfram is so lucky…" She offered him a teacup full of hot green tea and smiled, her red eyes tearing, "Tea?"

But Gwendal ignored her offer of the calming agent, because when he flipped it to the very first page he noticed Yuuri's irritating scribble right away, and by every page he flipped his face became whiter and whiter as chalk. There were many interesting names and terms written in the strange notebook, half of it Gwendal could identify at the back of his mind, but the other half… what in the world would he do to a camera and a French maid outfit? And the list went on to the last page, too.

The man almost ripped the book in half. It was unbelievable. Who knew that under that kind, innocent smile and stupid look on his face lay a vile, kinky… rapist. "Anissina, do you have any idea why the Majesty is like this?"

"We~ll…" Anissina gave him a rather devilish grin that made his throat tighten up like a squeezed rucksack.

"I need you to tell me everything. The whole kingdom and Wolfram's respectable reputation is at stake."

And that was not an exaggeration. If anybody within the kingdom's court would hear of Yuuri's sudden interest of such things and his obvious sexual appetite, there would be an endless debate on how to 'straighten him out'. Countless of people who looked up to the King of Shin Makoku would lose their belief of the strength of his purity and gentle nature. For some reason, Yuuri Shibuya became this world's icon for benevolence and justice. Gwendal also knew that Wolfram would be blamed for all this since Yuuri was never this… until their wedding. He was determined to do something about this small technicality of his brother-in-law's character and stop it himself.

"Wait, stop! Aniss – unf…" Both of them flinched when they heard someone crash against Anissina's door. Not a minute later, Yuuri had thrown himself in the room, stared at Gwendal's face, and collapsed on his knees, his hands covering his red face, panting and mumbling unintelligible words that sounded suspiciously like 'kill me' and 'how cud you?'.

Anissina, however, seemed oblivious to her King's lamentations and blew her nose after a sneeze, "What seems to be the matter, Your Majesty?"

A deep cough. "Anissina."

"Yes Gwendal?"

"Ask His Majesty if this travesty is his idea after all," he threw the notebook at Yuuri's feet.

Yuuri gave a coughing sound and stood frozen in place, eyes wide, taking in every one of Anissina and Gwendal's minor movements, getting his legs up and ready to bolt from any sign of head damage as soon as possible, "Now wait here –" But Gwendal cleared his throat which prompted Yuuri to begin explaining himself.

Slowly, as if any sound of his movement would cause Gwendal to tear his head off, Yuuri caught Anissina's eyes and signaled her to back down. Take the fall. For her Majesty's sake. She knew that he would throw in a royal medal there somewhere, but they both knew that Gwendal wouldn't dare lay a calloused finger around Anissina's neck. Yuuri on the other hand…

"Oh fine, let me start off with the explanation," Anissina seemed too giddy despite all the drama, "See, His Majesty here felt kind enough to give this poor lady a random visit two months ago."

"But you forced me to join you for tea. Gwendal, she forced me to join her for tea."

"I admit that after I made him finish half the page I suggested that he should show his creativity to you to make a positive impression."

A positive impression?!

Gwendal growled and came inches away from the King's neck when a book hit him square in the face. Yuuri ran through the door and shut it behind him, but his muffled voice could still be heard loud enough, "Gwendal, she wrote an adult love story – "

The hinges almost fell apart when Gwendal threw his body against the door, flashing his sword out and looking at the King with a murderous look on his face, a heroic pose defying his intentions for cold blooded murder, "Shibuya Yuuri, prepare to die."

Yuuri's body was prone on the floor for a while, his face frozen in shock, and he was forced to throw himself out of the way when Gwendal began to attack him with his very, very sharp saber, "You don't understand-" A metal shield clanged against the older man's sword, and for once Yuuri was glad that there were swords and shields around the palace for decoration… not that he'd use a sword against Gwendal, of course, "Anissina showed me her 'Love Story Love Love Romantic Book' and I kinda mentioned that Earth had something similar to one of the… the…"

CLANG

"… the stuff that she wrote in there!"

"Liar!"

"Don't believe in anything she says – "

CLANG

"Gwendal, I'm sorry!"

"You're nothing but a sick…" CLANG, "… twisted… pervert!"

"You don't understand – I…"

"Don't you dare touch my cute brother with your dirty perverted hands!"

Gwendal's sword glinted near his cheek when he narrowly missed it sporking his right eye off. He understood the repercussions of breaking a few essential things around the palace since the maids had certainly took pains in cleaning them everyday and making sure that they were placed on the tables at the perfect angle, but Yuuri barely had the mind to feel nervous about the maids when Gwendal acted to slice him again, and if it weren't for the purple vase to his left that he had thrown at Gwendal's head he would have blinking died. This was getting too serious.

Yuuri began to throw anything that he could grab at his side, trying to get at least a feet away from the manic man in order to explain himself. The one-sided fight escalated up to the fourth floor, where everybody was aware enough of the ruckus to watch the fight with both horror and amusement. Mostly amusement. Gwendal had a few cuts on his cheek while Yuuri's clothing was almost falling apart in threads, a small trickle of blood running from his forehead where Gwendal had tried to slice his head off.

"Gwendal, I swear… ugh… Lady Cheri… Lady Cheri asked me to… to…"

Well that made Gwendal stop trying to stake his King with a flurry of mad thrusts. "Mother?" He paused mid-stab, breathing wildly through his rage.

"Lady Cheri suggested that I should visit… one of the… erh…" Yuuri looked at him from the silver shield cautiously when he realized that Gwendal wasn't hitting him anymore, "Shop things, and that I should bring research. Yeah… research it. And… and stuff."

"Research?"

Around them, the crowd began to thin, with the exception of a few nosy workers here and there who had pen and paper in hand…

"I promised Wolfram that I'd stop it, I swear," Yuuri backed himself farther away from the other man, "He… he's talking to mother right now."

"Hum."

"She even suggested that you needed something like it to, I dunno, boost your libi-thingie?"

This was definitely a conundrum. On one hand, Yuuri might have just been a victim of one of Anissina and Lady Cheri's partnered antics, on the other – his baby brother might be in danger. Gwendal studied Yuuri's frightened expression, his knees wobbling at the weight of the impossibly large shield he had managed to grab before Gwendal murdered him. Wolfram wouldn't be too pleased to be a widow in his young age.

What had he been thinking? This was his mother and Anissina they were talking about. Yuuri was most probably as much a victim as he was. Suddenly, it was as if a fog was lifted from his sight. His mother definitely had some explaining to do.

"You," Gwendal pointed his sword at Yuuri's chest, and the other man gulped heavily when he realized the cold steel pressing near his heart, "Never get caught under their net again, young man."

Yuuri's head almost plopped off when he gave a violent nod. The silence was almost as deadly as Gwendal's sword that still pressed itself against his chest, but the young man dared not move a single inch.

"Very well then," Gwendal sighed and sheathed his sword back to its place.

But before he fully laid this issue to rest, Gwendal still had to make sure that everything was at ease. He had to speak to Lady Cheri at once. And Conrad, too. And definitely Gunter. Something told him that Gunter would be overtly passionate about this. Looking back at Yuuri, whose cautious gaze never left his back even when he started to walk away, Gwendal narrowed his eyes.

"I'm keeping my eyes on you, Your Majesty."

In Lady Cheri's room, just as Yuuri had said, Wolfram was already nursing a cold (and still full) cup of tea while looking at his mother with a pale, blank look on his face. He had to endure his mother's story about Yuuri's sudden tastes and…

"... I never expected him to be so willing to learn. Wolfram, you are a lucky young man." The buxom woman blushed behind the rim of her cup. "I am so glad that you finally found out about His Majesty's creative ideas. Although the poor dear didn't look so good when I asked him to give Gwen one of his toys. He'd been hounding Anissina and me all week, begging us to not tell him anything or give him one of his toys at all, but I believe that this would finally spur Gwendal's own dirty mind out in the open. Gwen will thank me later."

Wolfram sounded incredulous, "So you don't think that this is dangerous at all?"

"Wolfie dear, I'm sure that Gwen would never hurt Yuuri."

Poor Yuuri.

"Anyway, don't hesitate to write down everything that both of you go through, hum? Anissina would love to archive all your dashing escapades like she did mine."

"I see." There was nothing else to say at this point, to be honest, except… but should he dare? "Mother, why do those things smell perfume-y anyway?"

"The scent of Beautiful Wolfram?"

"Er. Yes. I could smell it a mile away from his desk."

"Well, the Majesty mentioned something very interesting called Pavlov's Dog. Ever heard of it?"

Something told Wolfram that he didn't want to know.

A/N: I'm back! After a whole year of so much busy and freelance jobbing :D It's been a year since I visited the KKM archives, and one of the angsty fics I'd been reading spurred me to get a move on this. I'm planning to write another with how Yuuri opened the pandora's box to his pervertedness. Oh, and please don't hesitate to review and tell me what's what and what your thoughts are! You're all welcome to give me constructive criticism...

Edit: I'm currently wrestling around ideas at the moment and I decided that I should let you pick what the next installment's going to be about ~ would you guys like to see how Yuuri 'stumbled' upon this new hobby of his first or, instead, would you guys want to see the rest of the cast's reaction to Yuuri's strange behavior? Or both? Evidently, these two are going to be a prequel to 'To Influence a Good King' when the pervert King was still in the closet (so to speak), and he could still get away from... stuff. These, or would you guys rather want to see how Wolfram and Gwendal deals with Yuuri's demons trying to escape despite his promise to control himself?

Till then, guys! XD Thanks!