Summary: A magic compass sends two girls to a world where pirates face extinction. They find themselves in the middle of the battle for the open seas and their own freedom. They're batshit, cause THAT'S HOW THEY ROLL. R&R SueParodySelfInsert. WTxOC, CBxOC
A/N: This is basically a rewrite of the "Curse of the Mary Sue" fic I had before. Unfortunately I wasn't happy with it at all, and this is the result. That, and my undying love for the epicness that is At World's End. Frankly, that level of eyegasm material is quite obscene (and totally, totally appreciated. LOVE.)
Disclaimer: Nothing from the Pirates of the Caribbean series belongs to me. Theoli and I apologise in advance for our bastardisation of this awesometastic series. Isaviel Gale and Theoli Runkle are self-insert original characters who belong to their respective real life counterparts.
So Sue Me: Self-Inserts at World's End
Chapter One: The Compass
I.
"I feel like such a dork for liking antiques. Really I do."
Isaviel Gale didn't look up from the glass cabinet she was peering into, apparently distracted by the plentiful shinies that lay in there, calling to her. She gave a small noise of contemplation before replying. "People just don't know how to appreciate the vintage awesome."
She and best friend Theoli Runkle were regular visitors to the antique store in their small home town, always eager to find some sort of valuable or otherwise interesting item to buy. They always left with something they had purchased, only to find later that it was worth less than what they'd paid for it and eventually ended up putting it in a box in the back of the store-cupboard to be forgotten. Apparently they had more money than sense, which is pretty impressive since they're nearly always broke.
"Hey, check this out."
Isa looked. Theo was rooting through a tatty cardboard box.
"This stuff is awesome."
She brought the box over and put it onto a nearby desk so Isa could look at it. It seemed to be a pretty old box filled with nautical items like compasses and telescopes. On the side, in big capital letters, were the words 'magical objects'. Isaviel raised an eyebrow.
"Magical objects?"
"Apparently so- oh hey look!" She held up a silver ring, set with a green stone. "How pretty is this?"
Isa had her eye on something else. Curiosity piqued, she reached into the box and pulled out a box small enough to fit into the palm of her hand. Upon lifting the lid she found that it was a compass, although one that seemed to be broken since no matter which way she turned it the needle didn't move.
"That compass be magical, y'know."
Isaviel jumped at the voice and accidentally elbowed Theo in the stomach, causing her to grunt and stumble backwards. She clambered to help her friend to her feet. "Oh, God. Theo, sorry-" She glanced at the owner of the voice. "More to the point, don't sneak up on someone like that!"
There stood an old man in old, worn clothes with a patch that covered his right eye, who was looking through the box of stuff whilst Theo got her bearings back. Before the girls could say anything else he gave them a grin, showing off his half-rotten teeth. The girls winced.
"Y' int'rested in somethin' from this here box?"
"I... suppose so," Isa said, realising that she was still holding the compass. "Do these objects have some sort of history?"
"Oh aye," he said. "Aye, that they do."
A moment of awkward silence.
Theoli raised an eyebrow. "...well... are you going to tell us?"
"Oh, ye wants ter know now?"
"Well yeah, that would be pretty helpful."
"'Fraid I don't know anythin'." He shrugged at the dismayed looks on the girls' faces. "Hey, ye can read, can't ye?" He pointed to the label on the box. "They be magical."
"Magical."
"Aye."
"Like... how?"
"I dunno."
"So you don't know if they are magical or not?"
"No, I know they be magical."
"How?"
"It says so on the box." He pointed to the label as if this validated his point.
"Oh..."
The girls didn't bother continuing the conversation any more, sensing that it was probably a pointless exercise to do so. So eventually they decided to buy some of those 'magical items', which were apparently rather cheap for things that were so obviously really magical. Since Theo thought it was a bargain she ended up buying practically the entire box, whereas Isa only bought the compass.
Theo rooted through the box as they stood on the platform waiting for the train home. "Why didn't you buy some of this stuff? It's shiny!"
"I dunno, guess I kinda like this."
The compass hadn't been fixed or anything, but Isa couldn't help but open it up and look at the red arrow, wondering what adventures the small, battered little box had been on during it's lifetime. Of course it could be some cheap old mass-produced thing from recent years but something about it told her that it was the real deal; it was almost like the compass was whispering to her, wanting to tell her all about its life. She didn't say that out loud though, she didn't really want Theo to think she was crazy.
So she put the compass in her pocket and in the confusion and stress over delayed trains and platform changes managed to forget about it, and the feelings it gave her, entirely.
In fact, it wasn't until far into the evening when Theo asked to look at it that Isa remembered it at all. She rifled through her jacket pockets until she got it, then tossed it to Theo before settling down to continue watching the latest episode of Supernatural. "You've already seen it loads of times."
"I just want to look. It's kinda cool."
"Don't forget magical."
"Oh, my bad," Theoli snickered. "I wonder why it doesn't work."
Isaviel shrugged, taking the compass back. "I dunno, maybe it's just broken?"
"Try shaking it."
She did so. Nothing happened.
"Hang on." Theo got up and padded through to the kitchen where she grabbed a fridge magnet and came back. "Let's try this."
No matter what she did with the magnet the needle wouldn't move. After a while the girls gave up, and since the TV show was over they decided to call it a night. Theo went to bed as Isa made one last check to see if their flat was locked and secure, then made her way to her room, calling 'good night' to Theoli as she went.
She sat on her bed for a while, just looking at the compass in her hand. Perhaps it was magical in some way. It would certainly explain her own strange behaviour ever since she had the thing in her hand. Setting the compass onto her bedside table she snuggled under her covers and turned off the light. After a while she slowly drifted off to the land of nod, and a dreamless sleep.
The compass by her bed opened soundlessly and of it's own accord, then the needle began to spin. Slowly at first, but then faster and faster until the arrow was but a blur.
Then, it stopped dead.
II.
"Isa! Oh Jesus, Isa. WAKE. UP."
"Whaaaat," she groaned, rolling over and burying her face into her pillow. "What time is it?"
"I dunno, you tell me. While you're at it, you can tell me where we are."
Isa groaned again then turned back over, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I swear, Theo, if this is some crack-ass windup-"
"This would take a little more effort than I'm willing to put in to be a prank. Just open your damn eyes."
She did so, and found herself staring at an altogether unfamiliar ceiling and sleeping in an altogether unfamiliar bed. She blinked. Looking around, the room she was in seemed incredibly dated, with patterned wallpapers and ceiling, though it was in very good condition; not at all dilapidated.
Isa sat up. "What the-"
"See? I woke up in the room next door and just about had a brain spasm. Also, do look at what we're wearing."
Isa looked at Theo's attire. She was wearing an off-white shirt and rich brown britches which were tucked into some quite sexy brown leather boots. A chunky belt was tied around her midriff off of which were all manner of small bits and pieces, keys and such. She also had on a long, plum-coloured coat with gold trimmings and detailing, the pockets of which were filled with money.
When she got out of bed Isa realised she was wearing something pretty similar, though the colours of her own outfit were more greyish, subdued tones of brown. A rich green coat, with trimmings like Theo's, was hung on the back of the door.
Isa went over the window and glanced out and across the landscape. Well, seascape, actually. They were in a building very close to a port where a great number of elaborate, beautifully decorated ships were docked. In the distance she could see many more ships, all sailing off towards the horizon.
"Something tells me we aren't in Kansas anymore, Toto."
Theo stared at the view. "What the hell..."
There was a shout from outside and the girls ducked backwards to avoid being seen.
"They've found another pirate."
"Best leave this one; they look like they have plenty of support."
"You'd think they'd learn by now that they can't hide from us."
The first speaker gave a harsh bark of laughter. "Apparently not. No wonder they're dying out."
"Though Lord Beckett having the heart can't help much either."
The girls listened to the sounds of their laughter getting farther and farther away until they couldn't hear them anymore. They looked at each other, then out of the window, then back at each other. Neither said a thing, not really knowing what they could say that didn't make them sound at all like lunatics.
Theoli sat on a nearby chair. "What's... what's happened?"
Isaviel shrugged, looking down at the ground. Something on her belt caught her eye. "...the compass."
"What?"
"The compass. It's on my belt."
Theo blinked. "So it is. How odd."
Isa unhooked it from her belt and opened it up. "Oh hey, it works!"
"Say... do you think that has something to do with us being here?"
Isa blinked. "What?"
"Well, you know how it's a magical object and all... I just thoug- woah."
"What?
"I'm wearing the ring from the magical items box."
"Dude."
"This shit is freaking me right out."
Isaviel put the compass back on her belt, then gave a heavy sigh. "Well, we'll just have to ask around and get some more information, I guess. I mean, we don't even know where we are in terms of year, let alone geographically."
"We're dressed kind of... piratey, though. Pirates don't seem to be flavour of the month, which is sad because pirates are all kinds of awesome."
Isa looked down at her attire again. "Ah. Yes. Well. We'll just have to avoid getting seen."
Suddenly the doors burst open and the girls found themselves facing ten bayonettes. "Pirates! You're under arrest!"
"Oh, bugger."
;D Reviews would be awesometastic.