Word from the Author: First thing's first... this sequel thingy totally rushed up and blind-sided me...! I had no idea it was coming... But here it is! XD All in all, this was once again incredibly random on my part... Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Well, you should have read the first one in part one... same thing applies here. Whoot.

Death of a Den Den Mushi

They all stood and watched in silence. Solemn as any could ever have claimed to see them. Beneath it all lay a subtle tension, a certain sense of disbelief warring with the grief they felt.

They hadn't thought it possible. They could barely conceive of the happenings as they'd come to pass, too inexplicable as they were.

Their Captain had done the impossible.

Those on the ship who had only heard of the occurrence were baffled by it, while those who had borne witness to the event didn't dare speak of it. Their eyes, however, betrayed them.

There was a crazed look in each and every one of them, a shiver of irrepressible malaise that couldn't be shaken off.

And just when everything had been going so well…

Honest to Pirate King, Luffy swore that it had been an accident, that there was no way any of them could have possibly foreseen how the flame dial, along with all the other ingredients that had been involved, could have ended in the horrible tragedy that had taken place within the very bows of the Going-Merry.

Some weren't so sure, however, that that was the truth of things. They wondered, you see, whether it hadn't been some sort of evil plot, some sick scheme to do away with that which had been previously proclaimed an essential element to every pirate's way of life.

The fact that Luffy had somehow managed to so 'inadvertently' kill his pet Den Den Mushi struck fear into all their hearts.

The things were supposed to be nigh on invincible, what with having to survive the hardships of everyday human communication. As such, one question haunted them, ever since it had happened…

What in Grand Line were they going to replace the damn thing with?

Alternatively it had been asked, what could possibly survive Luffy if a Den Den Mushi couldn't?

It was a painful thing to consider, as they maintained their minute's silence, watching their Captain as he threw the ashes of the poor thing out to sea.

To some degree they were grateful it had persevered as long as it had. They would remember it fondly, and with respect. It had served well, with honor and enduring dignity in the face of such opposition.

As the remaining motes of dust drifted daintily on the smooth summer's breeze, the silence was broken.

"I've decided!" Luffy exclaimed with gusto, the tear tracks already drying on his face.

Oh no, they thought as one, but as always, it was Zoro who dared to ask what they all equally feared and desired to know.

"What have you decided, Luffy?"

"On a new pet, of course." This proclamation was accompanied with enthusiastic nodding on Luffy's part, and uncontrollable quivering on the part of nearly everyone else. Even Zoro couldn't deny it.

"W-w-w-what s-sort of… p-p-p-pet?" Usopp stammered out nervously.

Luffy's already enormous grin widened, no doubt helped by his Devil's Fruit ability.

"People pets" Luffy laughed, as if this was the most hilarious thing he'd ever thought of.

And in a way it was. So funny in fact, that most of them probably wouldn't make it out alive, and even if they did, whether their sanity survived was another matter entirely. Perhaps it was even hilarious in the way that one laughs at another's misfortune. They'd never have pegged Luffy for a sadist, but beneath every cheerfully laughing teenage boy, they were certain one was lurking.

Luffy stopped laughing abruptly. Possibly as soon as he realized that no one else was laughing with him. He discounted Usopp who was making that funny, silently screaming laughter that he made sometimes, because Luffy didn't think Usopp did that when he actually found things funny.

"What's wrong, everyone?" Luffy questioned, looking baffled. "It's the perfect solution!"

"Uh, Luffy…" Nami began, before clearing her throat to continue. "What exactly do you mean when you say…" she consciously paused this time, "people pets?"

"I mean," Luffy said slowly, as if speaking to stupid people, which they were, if you thought about it in terms of Luffy-intelligence, "that you guys are going to take turns being my pet!"

The ensuing evil laughter that was being emitted from their Captain's grotesquely stretching jaw was nothing short of horrifying.

"Wait a minute!" Chopper suddenly cried. "That means I don't have to be a pet, right, Luffy? Right?"

The laughter disappeared once more, as Luffy frowned. "What are you talking about, Chopper?"

"I just mean," Chopper said, hopping from one hoof to another, waving his arms about as he made his point, "since I'm not a people, I don't have to be a people pet!"

Many of the present members frowned at this, cursing the fact that they didn't have a similar excuse.

"On the contrary, Doctor-san," Robin argued, "given that you ate the Human Human Fruit, I think it only fair for you to be considered at least part person."

Robin smiled serenely.

"I fully, totally, completely agree, Robin-swan!" Sanji interjected on a jig.

"Oiiii!" Chopper cried. "If I'm at least part person, doesn't that mean that I shouldn't be emergency food?!"

Sanji paused in his spinning. "Well, no. I mean, out of all of us, you're still the least human."

"That's not fair!" Chopper sniffed. "If I'm to be classified as the food, I should be exempt from the people-pet category."

"Yeah, but wouldn't being in the food category make you more likely to just be in the animal-pet category?" Usopp seemed to have recovered enough to join in the debate.

"Who cares," Luffy added, with surprising finality. "Basically I'm going to assess you on how good a pet you'd make, and based on this, whoever is most suited for the placement, shall hold that position indefinitely! Yosha!"

Somehow the larger than normal words, coming from Luffy anyway, and used in the right context, made the prospect of the whole thing even more disturbing than it had been originally. So, all things considered, pretty freaking disturbing.

"Just so you know, Luffy," Nami smiled, her eyebrow twitching minutely. "As Navigator of this ship, I'm afraid I won't be able to take on such a time consuming role as being your precious pet. Even though I'm sure you'd make a wonderful master, I just don't think it would be possible, presuming you want me to make sure we end up where the Log Pose steers us?"

Luffy stared at Nami sadly for a moment, "Are you sure you can't, Nami?"

"I'm sorry, Luffy… you know I would if I could…" Both eyebrows were twitching uncontrollably by this stage.

Even though Chopper, Usopp and Zoro all wanted to protest her line of reasoning, the consequences that such action would undoubtedly bring about just didn't seem worth the risk.

And it wasn't like Luffy would ever choose her as his pet, if given the choice.

Zoro was a little confused by the thought – why should he care if Luffy chose someone other than him? He didn't even want to be a people pet… Right?

Chopper and Usopp, on the other hand, had reached this conclusion based purely on their own assessments of Nami, which could be easily summarized in a word. Kowai!

It was Sanji who next cleared his throat. "Oi, Luffy."

"What is it, Sanji?"

"You do realize pets don't cook, right?"

Luffy's eyes widened at the implications of this.

"So," Sanji continued, "I'm guessing that you'd prefer me to remain on as Cook?"

Luffy was already nodding emphatically, so quickly in fact that his eyelids and lips both seemed to be flapping.

Chopper nervously raised a hoof, before rushing to announce, "A-as Doctor! I can't be a people pet!"

Luffy frowned for a moment, before conceding, "I suppose…"

Usopp blinked. This sounded suspiciously familiar.

"Well! As I, the one and only, greatly majestic Usopp-sama, am in charge of ship maintenance, I declare myself unfit for the position of Court Jester!"

Everyone blinked.

"By which I mean! …People pet."

This time everyone nodded their understanding; it wasn't a bad analogy actually.

Luffy eyed his crew. Apparently thinking about what all this could mean. "So basically… that leaves Zoro and Robin?"

Nami, Sanji, Chopper and Usopp nodded. Apparently Usopp's claim had been validated… somehow.

Usually it would be Zoro at the forefront of knocking it, but for some reason, in this instance, he actually felt vindicated in his silence.

Luffy turned his attention towards the two remaining contestants. "So, one of you guys, huh?"

Robin just smiled, before sketching a rather elegant bow, "I'd be honored, Captain-san."

Zoro realized he'd almost growled. Actually, scratch almost, he had. Noticing that everyone was now looking at him, he felt his cheeks heat, just a little.

"Wow," Usopp said. "That was surprisingly animal-like."

Sanji looked as if he were desperately trying to stifle his laughter. Nami and Robin both looked similarly amused, displayed more so by their smiles than by demented noises.

Chopper looked at Zoro in awe, before excitedly whispering, "How did you make that sound so real?"

Luffy also looked rather impressed, smiling widely at his first mate, "Zoro! That was so cool!"

"How unfortunate… I'm afraid I might not be able to compete," Robin niko'd. "Perhaps I should concede defeat whilst I'm ahead, hm? After all, I'm not sure I've ever heard of anyone keeping an archeological historian as their pet…" Robin raised her eyebrows gracefully.

Zoro narrowed his eyes at her, he wasn't sure he liked the suggestive looks she was casting between him and Luffy.

"I reckon!" Usopp loudly interrupted. "I mean, come on, people, if you think about it… The person here most like an animal is Zoro, Chopper included."

"You want to try saying that again, chicken boy?" Zoro snarled.

Usopp merely smirked, "I think I can leave it to the rest of the crew to come up with the similarities. Right, guys?"

"Well…" Nami began, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Habitually speaking, he does spend most of his time either eating, sleeping or exercising. No higher brain functions used, which does seem to point towards animal…"

"A guard dog," Robin added, "wouldn't be too bad an analogy, I think."

Sanji snorted at this, "Nice one, Robin-swan! And oh yeah, just check out those fearsome fangs...!"

"Fangs?" Zoro hissed. "You better not be talking about—"

"Hora," Sanji sang, unsheathing one of the katana that had been balanced against the mast by Zoro's side. "This certainly has some bite."

"Enough to take your hand clean off," Zoro gritted. "Now get those perverted appendages off of my sword!"

Usopp sniggered.

"What?" Zoro snapped, swiveling his death glare towards him.

"N-nothing," Usopp stuttered, his face slowly turning red as he struggled not to explode with laughter.

Zoro took a step forward, his hand snapping to the side to retrieve his katana from Sanji's grasp, the blade already bared.

Eyes widening, Usopp stepped back. "Ano… " He let his eyes flicker around the group, most of who were happily standing by to watch. "Don't any of you have the heart to help me in these kinds of situations?"

"I don't suppose you'd like to know how much it would cost you." Nami smiled creepily. "Am I right?"

"Uh…"

"Thought not!" Nami leaned back against the cabin's wall, content to play spectator.

"Anyone?" Usopp pleaded, already being pushed back against the railing.

As it so happened, it was Luffy who stepped forward, right between Usopp and the predatorily approaching Zoro.

Everyone, including Usopp and Zoro, the latter still moving nonetheless, watched their Captain intently. Even after all this time, it was supremely hard to predict just what was going to happen next.

"Sit!"

Zoro stopped, one foot in the air.

"…What?"

"I said, 'Sit!'" Luffy said again, this time pointing to the floor.

"But…" Zoro began, "why?"

Luffy frowned at him, "Because I said so! Sit! Sit! Sit!"

When Zoro refused to budge, Luffy wheedled, "I'll give you a treat…?"

"ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE A PET?!"

"…Well, yeah." Luffy replied honestly.

Everyone else seemed to be on the floor, choking. Zoro glared at them. Traitors.

Then glared at Luffy.

"I'm not a pet."

"But Zoooro!"

Zoro's eye twitched. "No."

"I'll even feed you from my plate…" Luffy tried to bargain.

Zoro looked at Luffy suspiciously, before demanding, "Are you trying to tell me that I wouldn't even get my own plate?"

Luffy scratched his head, looking almost pensive. "If I let you keep your own plate, will you?"

"NO."

The rest of the crew seemed to have recovered by now, and subsequently started booing at Zoro's utter meanness.

"How can you be so insensitive?" Usopp cried. Fat, fake tears rolling down his cheeks, as he hid his 'Cry-your-heart-out-Mate-y! Teardrops' behind his back. "All Luffy wants is to be loved!"

"That's right!" Sanji smirked. "Luffy just wants to be loved. Right, Luffy?"

"Ah… Sure."

"See." Sanji's smirk deepened. "Now why don't you be a good boy, Zoro-chan, and play nice with Luffy? Be sure to give him lots of puppy dog kisses too."

Zoro went bright red at the suggestion, though whether it was due to embarrassment or anger, they couldn't tell.

"You know what?" Zoro sneered, and they all braced themselves at the surprisingly vicious tone his voice had taken, sure that violence was about to ensue.

Of course, this had half of them sweat-dropping and the other half face-planting, when Zoro's only course of action was to shout, "FINE!"

Before grabbing Luffy, tossing him over his shoulder, and dragging him inside.

"Disaster averted."

They all breathed a sigh of relief.

Except for Zoro, who in actual fact had snapped only because Luffy had been giving him soulful puppy dog eyes ever since his first 'No.'

Oddly enough, his sigh was one of satisfaction as his Captain gently patted him on the head, murmuring about how happy he was that Zoro was his.

He wondered if he shouldn't be scared at the thought that he could get used to this.

It was nice to feel cared for.

Zoro just hoped he'd survive longer than the Den Den Mushi had.

Finis.

Another Word from the Author: So... somehow that managed to end up being even longer than the first...! XD But anyway! Let me know what you thought, hoi...!