The gym membership: One uping

Jasper: We really must get our revenge on Emmett.

Alice: Your revenge you mean. I'm just helping because I have the pathological need to annoy people.

(Alice evilly grins)

Jasper: Right, okay. What do you want to do?

Alice: How about we take the couples yoga class and one up them on our incredible yoga skills. Plus humiliate Emmett on how you dumped him for a girl.

Jasper: Sounds excellent. One thing though, I'm not good at yoga. I mean sure I'm graceful but I don't have the mind power or flexibility.

Alice: Oh that's fine. I do.

Jasper: You do?

Alice: Honey, what I did last night was not normal. I know I'm no Rosalie that can dislocate her shoulders while doing a backbend. But I can manage.

Jasper: Right… that thing you did yesterday.

(Jasper remembers what he and Alice did yesterday)

(Alice hits him)

Alice: Not the time, maybe later. We have to do some one uping.

Jasper: Can we do one thing first?

Alice: Sure.

Jasper: Awesome. You start.

Alice: Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger.

Jasper: But she ain't messin' with no broke.

Alice: That, that, that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.

Jasper: You better hurry up now, 'cause I can't wait much longer.

Alice: They try to make me go to rehab but I say-

Jasper: No, no, no.

Alice: Okay, enough. Let's do this thing.