Name: KakkarotLover
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Rating: PG-13 for cursing. Maybe some slight lime but that should be it.
Authors Notes: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Sasuke and Naruto are around...17 during this. Woot Woot. And once again, Thanks to my wonderful amazing Beta Kyte Phoenix!

About forty minutes ago Naruto had officially passed concerned and shortly after quickly passed worried. Now he was hovering somewhere around the area of terrified. After the reading of the death sentence … err … I mean proclamation, Sasuke had collapsed into a nearby chair. It was too silent and awkward hours later and his face was still blank with his mouth set in a still line. Naruto would have thought he was dead, if not for his eyes; Sasuke's eyes were alive and running. They would jerk back and forth - as they ran through idea after idea. Calculating and contemplating strategies as he struggled for any chance to escape the mess he had found himself in. Naruto had attempted conversation a few times only to be shot down with nothing but an icy glare. He knew he should just leave Sasuke to his own devices, but the kind part of him reasoned that he should stay and help his friend stick it out. After he had a good laugh over that he decided he wanted to see the damage Sasuke would cause once he realized he was trapped.

Naruto took another slurp of the ramen he had ordered earlier from the guards at the door. His acting skills had once again proved themselves indispensable as he kept a straight face, telling them that the Uchiha was requesting a bowl of chicken miso ramen. After closing the door, shutting them both inside the room again he had a good chuckle, until the knock at the door delivering said ordered noodles broke him from it. He took another sip, plotting to ask for another bowl if Sasuke didn't snap out of his scheming soon. I wonder if Sasuke has even eaten today. Maybe I should ask him if he wants to order something to eat. The bastard would shit out a chicken if I ordered ramen for him …

"Naruto, transform into me, now." Naruto nearly dropped his ramen as the Uchiha broke his silence to leap from his chair and grasp the blond boy's shoulders in a tight grip.

"WHAT?" Sasuke rolled his eyes and did some quick hand seals.

"TRANSFORM JUTSU!" After the cloud of dust disappeared, Naruto was looking at an exact copy of himself. Sasuke/Naruto grabbed the real Naruto by the collar pulling him over till they were inches apart. He felt heat rush to his cheeks; not completely comprehending why. "Listen to me Naruto. You are going to transform into me, and I am going to walk out of here as you. Then when they come to take you to the competition, you will transform back and run." Naruto eyes bugged out of his head and shook his head.

"No way you bastard! They would kill me!" Sasuke's eyes turned a dangerous tint as they flashed a bright red.

"I will buy you three month's worth of ramen."

"Do with my body as you will." His game winning smirk was ripped from his face as he heard a cough coming from behind them. Both Naruto's turned to see a frowning Shikimaru. Sasuke groaned and threw Naruto down on the bed, transforming back to his normal self.

"I just came in to see if you were hungry, but I assume you know that I will be checking you over for jutsu's." Naruto banged his head on the bed, groaning over the loss of his free ramen while Sasuke pondered serious thoughts of suicide. Shikimaru gave the Uchiha an apologetic glance, he himself knowing the trouble that women caused, before leaving.

The sound of the door slamming was the last sound that was heard for several minutes while both men sulked. It was interrupted by Sasuke slamming down his water glass – which he had retrieved from the counter.

"I hate women." Under different circumstances Naruto was sure that he would have disagreed but since he could still taste Ramen on his tongue he could merely grunt in acknowledgment. Unable to brood for too long, unlike the Uchiha, Naruto thought of a way to cheer his friend up. With a sly glance he waited until Sasuke was taking a drink before letting his thought be aired out loud.

"I thought I always made a better woman than those harlots." Sasuke loudly choked on his water while Naruto laughed mirthfully. "Then again my henge only gave me the good parts, not the hormones." He chuckled to himself for a moment before he was met with complete silence. Naruto was confused when after a few minutes Sasuke had still not replied to his lecherous comment. He spared a glance at his angst filled friend and then greatly wished he hadn't.

Sasuke was giving him a look that could only be interrupted as pure and unadulterated glee; a foreign look upon the Uchiha's face to be sure. Though he didn't know why the look suddenly graced the other's face, it was enough to get him off the bed in a flash. He was stopped from escaping stage right by the ebony haired ninja blocking his path to the door.

"Sasuke …"

"Remember, your body is mine to do with as I want." Naruto fought down the red color that tempted to grace his face; a disturbing reaction at the best of times.

"That was in an agreement with different terms and you know it." Sasuke growled and seemed tempted to fight the other boy.

"Naruto, you're the only one who can do this." Said boy raised an eyebrow.

"Do what exactly?" Sasuke's eyes took on an evil glint before the last few minutes finally caught up with him.

"FUCK NO!" Not caring anymore he leapt at the Uchiha aiming for the only door but he was grabbed around the waist and thrown backwards onto the floor.

"Four months of ramen!" Naruto punched him in the gut but the Uchiha held on tightly.

"Five Months!" He received a head butt followed by a knee to the groin. Sasuke rolled off to one side, grasping his groin, groining loudly. Naruto let out a cry of joy before rushing to the door.

"A YEAR!" He stopped, his hand wrapped around the doorknob. "A years worth of Ramen and a free vacation." Naruto hadn't moved. "To anywhere in the world." His shoulder twitched. "No one will ever know it was you. You could make a clone to sit beside me during the whole competition. We'll go on the vacation - relax for a week - then I'll come back saying the bitch ran off with another guy." Naruto's hand slowly slid from the door, turning to face his friend and Sasuke almost let out a cry of relief.

"As much Ramen as I want for a whole year." Sasuke nodded. "We go where I want to go." Another nod. Groaning, his back falling against the wall, he banged his head on the wooden surface before sliding to the floor. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Sasuke finally sat up and leaned against the wall beside Naruto. There was a comfortable silence for a while, as they both contemplated how to make their plan work. After a while the blond glanced over at the other ninja.

"Why do you hate this idea so much? You have a whole village of women fighting for you." Naruto looked away as hard jealously bit at his insides at his own comment. Sasuke huffed and glared at the other wanting to punch him for his ignorance, but knowing that would be more than a little detrimental to his plan.

"They're not fighting for me, they're fighting for the idea of me." The blond blinked and tossed that around a bit in his head.

"I guess that makes sense." Sasuke snorted which Naruto totally ignored. "It's to prove a point. You're not an object they can just claim as their own and wave around like a trophy. You're not a thing." Surprised ebony eyes met thoughtful cerulean ones. The eye contact remained locked for several moments, as the pair studied one another before breaking away, neither seeing the slight blush that accompanied the other's cheeks. Another silence, which wasn't quite as comfortable as the previous one, settled over the both of them.

Sasuke jumped in the air as the blond banged his head against the wall again.

"If I had known this was going to happen I would have never invented that damn jutsu." After a 'Hnn' and minute of shuffling, Naruto glanced up to see Sasuke smirking down at him. The bastard held out his hand until Naruto returned the grin and grasped the hand pulling himself up. The blond clapped his hands together.

"First things first, let's get some food. Then to the plotting." Sasuke raised his eyebrow at the abrupt change in mood but his question was answered soon enough. "This is going to be the biggest prank I have ever pulled before!" Groaning he slapped his hand against his forehead, while watching the blond skip out the door to tell the attendant to bring them dinner.

As soon as Naruto's bowl was finished he slammed it down, receiving an annoyed glance from his best friend. He just rolled his eyes and waited for his fellow ninja to finish. The Kyuubi was bouncing up and down by the time the other finally finished. After placing his bowl down, considerably softer than the other ninja had, he gave the other a warning glance that seemed to settle him for the moment.

"This is not going to be a cakewalk you know." Naruto opened his mouth to argue but Sasuke silenced him. "I'm not commenting on your abilities." The blond shut his mouth quickly. "I am completely confident in your ability to win the Strength part of the competition and, with your jutsu, the Beauty part is in the bag. As for the Interview, since we don't know what the question is there is nothing we can do about it for now. However, the chances of your dish being ramen are slim to none. " Naruto stuck out his bottom lip but the other ninja ignored him. "The cooking we can work on. The hard part will be not only in keeping your identity hidden but in also coming up with another identity." He received a blank stare, but the blond did not interrupt, simply watching his friend go into explanation mode.

"You can't just go in with your Konoha papers stating that you are Uzumaki Naruto. You will have to have a girl's identity. There are two ways of obtaining this; you could impersonate a real kunnichi, or we could forge one. The former seems very unsuitable, first because we would have to find a woman who is not considering entering the competition. We can assume that the girl in question would have personal estrangements such as a boyfriend or husband which would cause her not to enter in the first place, making it difficult to explain to anyone why she is suddenly entering. Plus, even if we could find a girl who decided not to enter - and was without any personal estrangements - we would still have to explain the situation to her; which would not be a good idea in any way shape or form. Besides, even if we find a girl that we could trust enough to reveal the plan to, it is without a doubt that any girl that chooses not to enter will be on guard duty around the city or on a mission."

Naruto's eyes were now glazed over as he tried to keep up with the other boy. Sasuke rolled his eyes and continued on despites his partner in crime's mental slowness. He really wasn't speaking to the dobe anyway but merely organizing his thoughts out loud and hoping the other picked up enough to get by.

"That leaves us with forging the documents. This will also be difficult because I am sure they will be looking very closely for that sort of thing. This would be easier if we included another person who works within the office but that is out of the question." He paused and clocked the blond on the side of the head to get his attention. He was rewarded with an indignant cry.

"There is where you freedom comes in handy dobe. You can break into the Hokage tower and place the forged ID papers there just in case someone decides to check up on your background." Naruto nodded reluctantly, though he was still pouting, while rubbing his head earning him an eye roll.

"You can do that tomorrow night. We still have four days until the competition begins. I can forge the papers tomorrow while you practice your cooking and acting skills. You are going to have to practice being a real woman, which is more than pouting and batting your eyelashes." Naruto gave a dramatic sigh and fell backwards on the bed.

"If you're going to back out this would be the time to do it, Usuratonkachi ." He sighed and pinched himself. Nope. Not a dream.

"You know I don't go back on my word, teme." The next thing Naruto knew he was pulled from the bed, standing face to face with Sasuke, while the bastard smirked at him.

"Good. First thing, change into your henge." Naruto grinned as he felt the initial excitement he had felt when he agreed to the prank returned. After a few hand signals and a puff of smoke a beautiful naked blond woman stood where he had only a few seconds ago. She winked and blew a kiss at the Uchiha.

Sasuke ignored her as he studied the jutsu.

"Lose the whisker marks." POOF!

"What color hair you want?" Sasuke thought about it for a moment.

"Keep it blonde, but lose the pigtails." At the girls questioning look he explained. "If someone thinks that your mannerisms are the same but the hair is different it would be easier, for a ninja, to conclude that you are connected somehow. However if you look similar it would be first concluded that the hair color just reminds them of you, or that blonde's would have similar personalities." Naruto accepted the explanation with another POOF!

His hair was still the same color blonde but was lying straight and flowing down his back, the bangs gone. Sasuke nodded his approval as Naruto played with her hair.

"Make the face less cute and more stoic." He paused for a second. "Lose the eyes as well. Your eyes are way too recognizable; go with black." Naruto rolled his head and transformed again. Sasuke glared at the innocent looking face staring back at him. A face that resembled his own to a tee. Naruto laughed before changing again, into his idea of a stoic looking girl with black eyes.

"You look constipated. Try again."

It only took about ten minutes of this process being repeated until Naruto was annoyed beyond belief. No matter what she did it was not good enough for the ice prince. Enough had finally reached enough. His patience at its breaking point Naruto marched over to the small bookshelf ripping a magazine from it and shoved it under the Uchiha's nose.

He received the ever irritating eyebrow raise in return for his actions.

"Just flip to a random page and pick a girl and I'll transform into her."

"But …"

"Shut up. You're too damn picky for a normal human being so we're simplifying this part." Sasuke growled but pulled the magazine open to a random page. Finding no women he skipped to the next page and sighed at the brown-eyed brunette who stared back at him. He grudgingly showed the book to Naruto who immediately changed to an exact copy of the picture.

Her brown hair reached just the tips of her shoulders, framing the side of her face on its journey down. Soft brown eyes were placed on a soft but impassive face, though her pouted lips giving her an air of playfulness. She smiled slowly, nothing like the shit eating grin that usually occupied his friends face.

Sasuke frowned.

Naruto rolled her eyes and POOFED once again, switching her hair back to blond. The brunette smirked and nodded his confirmation.

"Wow bastard. Do you have a thing for blondes or something?" Sasuke's eyes widened but he quickly looked away, snorting his disagreement.

"Oh my god! You do! You have a thing for blondes!" The raven's eyebrow twitched as Naruto fell to the floor clutching his sides in laughter.

KL:Well. There you go!
Sasuke:This was so predictable.
KL:Shut up bastard.
Naruto:Yeah! Leave her alone! KL can't help it that she is unoriginal and uncreative.
KL:That's it! Both of you get sex scenes written with Gai and Lee!
Naruto:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Gai:AH! The Power of Youth! Strips
Everyone:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
KL:I win. Please Review and I will throw flowers on the ground behind you when you walk!
4-armed beta/critic: hey, does this mean there isn't anything wrong with being blond?
Naruto:… well DUH!
Sasuke: No comment.
Creeped out 4-armed beta: watches Gai run around naked oh god, I feel sickruns for the bathroom
KL:Hey, I'm a blonde! Besides, Lee naked is hot!
Gaara: glares at KL
KL: Hmmm yeah... runs for her life