The First

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. That copyright belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Age 12

POV: Naruto

Uugghhh! I can't believe it! It's just so wrong. This was not supposed to happen! No guy should ever have to experience this. My innocence has been stolen! Lost forever to that…that teme! He probably enjoyed it too, the loser.

It wasn't supposed to be him! It wasn't supposed to be any guy, for that matter!

It was supposed to be a beautiful, intelligent---sometimes terrifying---girl! It was supposed to be my Sakura-chan! She was supposed to be my first kiss, not that teme, Sasuke!

Sasuke… It's all his fault. With his stupid sitting there and not talking; his stupid folded hands in front of his stupid face; his stupid sitting next to my Sakura-chan and not caring that I already said she was mine, so he couldn't have her.

He's such a jerk. I bet he did it on purpose. Probably did it so I couldn't have Sakura-chan's first kiss and she couldn't have mine. Teme. I bet he wants her all to himself. Well! He can think again! There's no way Sakura-chan will fall in love with a teme like that. She'll see I'm the only man for her! Dattebayo! And then she'll thump the teme for doing that heinous act to me! Honestly, if I think too much about it, I might cry…

POV: Sakura

I… I ca… I can't believe this has happened. It was supposed to be me. Sasuke-kun's first kiss was supposed to be mine! Just like my first kiss was supposed to be his. Well, that can still happen, as long as I can keep that idiot Naruto away from me.

He's such a stupid pain in the tushka! I hate him. Always interfering in my love affairs. And now I'm stuck with him on my team. At least Sasuke-kun is there. (Inner Sakura: "Up yours, Ino!") It would have been the perfect opportunity for me to get his first kiss, too. We'll be spending so much time together; he's bound to come around!

But that moron had to go and mess it up. Now I can never have Sasuke-kun's first kiss. What's a girl to do?

But… I can salvage this! I can still have Sasuke-kun! I just need to work my feminine charms on him. He'll never be able to resist! Shannaro!

POV: Sasuke

What a moron. He's always screwing things up. I can't believe I'm stuck on a team with him. Between him and the fan-girl, I'm not going to get any training done. Maybe our jounin sensei will smarten them up.

Tch. I can't believe he did that. I know he was knocked forward from behind, but it never would have happened if he wasn't such an idiot and jumped on the desk, sticking that stupid-looking mug of his in my face.

I couldn't care less about what other people think, but that was infuriating. I mean, he…kissed me. On the mouth. Ewwuughhbleh. That's the only way to describe it.

I'm not a romantic. Such soft thoughts are of no use to me. But there is something that's rather depressing about the whole situation. It was my first kiss. And though that means nothing to me (I've never entertained thoughts of who I thought the first would be; I always figured it would be some relatively tolerable female, at our wedding, because kissing your bride is expected at such a ceremony. That would be the first and if I got my way---which I always do---the last. There's no way I'd go near a girl, or anyone really, unless it were necessary. Physical contact…not my cup o' tea), I certainly did want it to be with a girl, not a moronic dobe of a male.

Ohh… I bet Itachi would love this. That sadistic freak. I wouldn't be surprised if he orchestrated the whole thing with some elaborate jutsu. He already killed our---no, my clan (he doesn't qualify as a member after what he did), and destroyed any chance I had at being a normal, happy person with his accursed Mangekyou eyes. He already smothered the big, important things in life, why not zero-in on the small things now? He'd do it. He's so sick. I hate him.

Age 16

POV: Naruto

I can't believe it. It was supposed to be me! ME! But it wasn't me! NOOOOOEEESSSSS!!!!!

Why? Why do these horrible things always happen to me? I've planned my entire life around this one event and now it's never gonna happen. That jerk took it from me.

I don't know his name, and I don't want to. But I'll remember that face. 'Cause I'm gonna be the last one to see it in good condition before I Resengan it to mulch.

He had no right to do that! It was supposed to be me. I've wanted it from the moment I heard about it. I worked so hard for it, too. It's not right for her to choose someone else over me, when I've tried so hard to make her see that I'm worthy of it.

And silly me, I was beginning to think that Sakura-chan actually might like me enough to let me have her first kiss. She's been giving me all kinds of signals lately… …I'm not sure what those signals mean, or what they are supposed to direct me toward, but I was certain they weren't "get back, loser" signals.

But then this happened and now I don't know what to do. She doesn't even know the guy, but she let him just go on over there and plant his ugly smackers on her lips. Why? I don't get it. What did I do wrong that that guy did right?

Okay, so maybe I'm overreacting. I mean, we were on a mission… And she was trying to get information out of the guy… And she did knock him out and tie him up afterward… And we did drag him back to Konoha so Ibiki could pull even more info out of him via much pain… But that still doesn't make me feel better about it! She traded her first kiss for information on the whereabouts of a missing nin. It seems so cheap to me. Hardly equal payment.

But to her, it probably was. Anything that brings her closer to Sasuke. He's the missing nin we were gathering intel about.

I wonder if he would care if he knew that she gave up her first kiss for a chance at finding him. I wonder if he cares about any of this at all: us searching for him; Sakura-chan still holding-out for him; all of us training so hard to get him back. Does he care about any of it?

I mean, I know he cares. But does he know that he cares? Or has he buried it so deep that he's forgotten what we mean to him? Is it still important to him, or has he pushed it so far away that he thinks it doesn't matter anymore?

Our last encounter, when we met him for the first time after nearly three years, at the Sound base, made me begin to wonder if he knows that he cares anymore. He seemed so cold; so distant; so unfamiliar. Like a stranger.

So it makes me wonder. Would this stranger care if he knew what Sakura-chan did? Do such things even enter into his mind anymore? Did they ever?

I guess the more important question is, how does Sakura-chan feel about it? Is she okay with having given up something that she's been saving and looking forward to, for something that might not even result in what we want it to?

POV: Sakura

Well, that was a let down. My first kiss and it was with some guy I just met, so I could get information out of him. That was so not the way I pictured my first kiss. But then again, the way I did picture it probably would never have happened, anyway. I mean, for it to happen the way I wanted, he would have to be here, and the way things are going, that's not a likely reality anywhere in the near future.

Oh sure, we got the intel, but it'll probably fall through, just like the last five times we thought we had something of substance. It was probably all for nothing.

So here I am. Giving away things I swore I wouldn't until he came back, for information on his whereabouts so we can bring him home. There's a mild irony in that, I suppose. A very depressing and defeating irony. It makes me feel like no matter what we do, how hard we train, what we learn, it will just never be enough to get to him. He's just always out of reach.

And it makes me tired. So very tired. I know Naruto feels it too. Despite his seemingly boundless energy, he's beginning to feel the strain of trying so hard and getting nowhere but stuck. He's starting to wonder if it's worth it. I know because I wonder the same thing. A lot.

Sasuke-kun doesn't want to come back. We know that, yet we keep trying to find him so we can do exactly what he doesn't want. It's a never-ending merry-go-round. We're all reaching for the brass ring, but we've been missing it for so long, it's beginning to seem like we'll never get our hands on it.

It all seems so futile. He doesn't want to come back. We keep trying. We keep failing. He keeps going, farther and farther away.

So it makes me wonder. Does any of it mean anything? Sure, I gave up my first kiss to a complete stranger. That stings a little. But it was just a kiss. Nothing more than a piece of another's skin touching mine. I had always wanted that other person to be Sasuke-kun, but does it really matter who it was? More importantly, would Sasuke-kun even care if he found out? Actually, even more important than that is, would he care if it had been him?

POV: Sasuke

He'll have to die.

It's as simple as that.

Going around, giving out information on my whereabouts in exchange for what, a kiss?! Tch, useless currency.

I mean, what did he gain, exactly? Nothing but a few extra germs from a stranger, that's what.

He mustn't have been thinking clearly. No shinobi would cave so easily. So she seduced him. Big whoop. She's tried that on me countless times, and I never gave in. Not in the least. She used to stare up at me with those depthless green eyes of hers, and make promises of unending devotion and love with those soft, pink lips…

Or, I assume they'd be soft. I wouldn't know. She didn't kiss me. She kissed him. To get information, about me, out of him. Which he readily gave. Because of her lips. Which are probably soft and sweet…

Not that I care or that I notice such things. Like I said, such displays are useless. Completely and utterly meaningless…

…I mean it must be meaningless, for her to just up and do that with someone she doesn't even know. She's not the type of girl to just go around kissing random guys for the heck of it… I think. It's been a few years; she could have changed.

Not that I care. She can go and kiss as many random guys as she likes. It doesn't matter to me. I cut those bonds a long time ago. They're non-existent now. That's why it doesn't bother me how many people she's kissed with her soft, pink lips, from which she once told me that she loved me with all her heart and that she would do anything for me.

And there is no drive within me to put my lips on hers. Absolutely none whatsoever.

Nope. Not going there… … …

I really need to go kill Itachi now.

No. I'm going to kill that informant who gave intel on me…

… … … … …

Itachi first, then the rat…

…Though the rat is closer and so deserving of it…be-because he sold me out! Not because of the activities involving a pink-haired Konoha kunoichi and soft, pink lips…

So… Itachi first.

Well, no; the rat…

Aww, heck. Someone's going to die…

Age 19

POV: Naruto

Oh! Oh, he did not just do that! Ohhh, I can't believe it! Who does he think he is? What, he thinks he can be gone for six years, then waltz back up in here, and expect it all to fall back into place? I don't think so! That teme has got another thing comin' if he thinks I'm gonna just sit by and watch him attempt to further ruin certain people's lives even more than he already has, and that includes his own.

It's time to work a little Uzumaki Magic; bringing on that frisky foxy flava since---uh, well, whatever year I was born in. Yeah, dattebayo!

Ignore. Ignore. Insult. Ignore. Scoff. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Insulting scoff. Ignore. "Hn." Ignore. "Aa." Ignore. Ignore. Insult. Ignore. Go home.

That's been the teme's daily routine since he got home a few months back. Geez, what is it with that guy? I swear, someone must take a really long piss in his cornflakes every morning, to make him that grouchy. I mean, is it some sort of violation of some ancient Uchiha clan law to crack a smile, or be non-teme-like for longer than five seconds at a time? Would it be so horrible a thing if he were to, I don't know, not be a purebred jerk to Sakura-chan for a day?

I mean, all she ever does is just try to make conversation. Is that some sort of heinous transgression against his Uchiha pride? Gee; he's never gonna get a girlfriend if he keeps that up. And by 'a girlfriend,' I of course mean 'Sakura-chan.'

He can insult, ridicule, and ignore her to his (nonexistent---though if it is real; petrified monkey turd) heart's content, but it's still not gonna change facts: the teme hearts Sakura-chan. (Insert fit of very unmanly giggles.)

I see the way he sneaks glances at her in his maddening "I-am-oh-so-stealthy-and-I-pwn-all" way. He thinks he's so smooth, checkin' her out with no one the wiser. Pfft! Like something as monumental as the teme showing interest in someone of the female persuasion would slip under my radar! I've been anticipating this for years now. I've kept my peepers open and ears perked, just poised to catch the first signs, and then POUNCE upon my unsuspecting prey with the reflexes of a crazy-awesome ninja-cat. Yeah. Beware my greatness! Dattebayo!

But every day it's the same thing: Sakura-chan tries to start a conversation, or makes a comment, or asks a question---not even asking him out, just an open ended question that's not even necessarily directed at him---and that turkey butt scoffs and throws out the insults. Or they don't even have to be insults, it's just the manner in which he says it---or some would say 'grunts' is a more accurate term; I kind of agree.

What the heck is he thinking? I know he wants her. Kaka-sensei knows he wants her. He knows he wants her. She…doesn't know he wants her.

That loser has got to come on out and say it! He'll lose her to someone else if he doesn't. Rock Lee has yet to relent in his undying devotion to 'his fair Sakura-san, glorious blossom of Konoha.' And Sakura-chan has been spending a lot more time with him lately; accepting invitations to lunch, training together, meeting 'randomly' (you don't just 'randomly' meet someone when they're buried in paperwork, in their office, on the third floor in a secluded wing of the hospital; Fuzzy-eyebrows better watch it…) and then going somewhere together. If the teme keeps up his charade of not caring about Sakura-chan, he's gonna be in for a rude awakening when he gets asked to baby-sit pink-haired, bowl-cut monsters in green spandex. (Shudder.) Ugh. Another thing to repress.

But there's no reason to fear! The future Rokudaime Hokage is here! And I will never, never allow such a terrifying thing as Sakura-chan and Fuzzy-eyebrows getting together come to pass! NEVAAAAA!!!

Now, all I need is some artillery…maybe a few accomplices…aannnd…a plan.

Hmmmmm…

I think I'm going to go get Shikamaru on this. And Kaka-sensei… Maybe Ero-sennin can help some too. Goodness knows this situation the teme has created is going to need it…

POV: Sakura

Well, that was to be expected, I suppose. Things are falling right back into routine again. It's just like old times. Yay… (sigh)

I wonder if it's really always going to be like this. I mean, is nothing good enough for him? What the heck am I, huh? Am I not strong enough? Strength of a Hokage---stronger even---and that's not enough for a little credit? Unsurpassed medical skills---again greater than the Hokage's---and that's not good for anything? What, is everything that's associated with me just worthless? Like, if it can be attributed to me, it is weakness? Even if it is seen as an asset and strength in others, in me it can only be weakness? What, do I taint things when I learn them? Is that it? Do I corrupt strength and turn it weak when I master it? Is my influence undermining to the fundamental value of the skills I acquire?

Maybe that's my special talent! Anything I learn, I degrade the significance of, so that it is nothing more than an academy student's recess exhibition. Yes! Watch as I destroy this mountain with my own bare fists! What? This? Pfft! It's nothing! Absolutely nothing. Just a stupid girl who can break really big, unmovable things. But it's nothing, really! Just a silly pastime of mine; it's not useful at all in the world of ninja. And these medical skills? Heck, that is even more useless! Think of it as akin to cross-stitching and crocheting teapot cosies---it's not even worth mentioning!

Honestly, why can't he see that I am strong? Why can't he see that I have changed?

I used to be weak; yes. I can readily admit to that. I had no special skill. I had intelligence and perfect chakra control, but I didn't know how to use the two effectively. I didn't help much and got in the way more often than not.

But that is why I trained so hard all these years. I didn't want to be the roadblock anymore; I wanted to be able to blast on through such barriers. And now I can! I can, both figuratively and literally, if the situation presents itself as such.

I am strong.

You listening to me Uchiha Sasuke? I said, I AM STRONG!!!

Demean me… Undermine my accomplishments… Ridicule me…

I will not take it. No way. This…thing I have for him is over! He refuses to acknowledge me? Well, I refuse to acknowledge him! And this is the best way I know how.

I officially quit Uchiha Sasuke.

POV: Sasuke

What the heck was that?

What the heck was that?

What the heck was that?

What the heck was that?

I have to have some sort of rare speech disorder. I barely talk, and when I do, I run my mouth off with things I don't intend to say. I've heard it called 'diarrhoea of the mouth,' but that just doesn't seem quite adequate. It's more like 'ruptured carotid artery of the mouth'; the words shoot out at such a high velocity that they're nearly impossible to stop unless you have the right skills to do so (I don't, but, ironically, she does; for the literal aspect of the analogy, that is), and it's always dangerous. Very dangerous.

It's so dangerous, in fact, that I believe it may have finally broken her bond to me entirely. A six year absence, and that bond was still holding tight with all the tenacity that a very, very annoying girl like Sakura can possess. And after a few months back, I rend it to shreds with nothing more than unchecked, untrue words that just won't stop flowing. It's a talent that, so far, I've only known myself to possess in such a remarkable abundance.

I managed to make her cry with just one word and absolutely no prior interaction with her. It was the first time I had seen her today, so we hadn't spoken since a couple days ago. She didn't say anything to me because she didn't notice my presence yet. She was training, destroying a number of training dummies. She seemed to be putting her all into it. And you could tell, because the training grounds looked like a massive meteor shower had just hit: debris and huge craters everywhere. It was an obvious display of power and skill. She is the Godaime's apprentice, indeed.

Of course, that's not what I told her. No. That would have been civil and, avenging forbid, friendly. And my apparent speech impediment does not allow for niceties to insert themselves into my words. So instead, when she finally saw me on the sidelines and halted her work, sparing one of the few remaining practice dummies from a certain splintery fate, I didn't comment on the effectiveness of her attacks, nor the improvement in her strength. No, I just said one word: "Pathetic." There was no preamble; no build up. She turned to me and I just let it out. And I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I could have just said nothing; that is my norm, after all. Or I could have just half-spoken with an "Hn" or something. Or…I could have actually greeted her. Except, I never initiate conversation---that's her role---and that would have been an invitation to talk. So, in light of that knowledge, I opted instead to say, "Pathetic."

You see what I mean about me having a speech disorder, right? I mean, that was my choice? What the heck kind of choice is that? Who does that? I could have just grunted a greeting or simply nodded, or even have said nothing at all, but no; I just had to say it. "Pathetic." And I couldn't have picked a worse word to say, either. Well, except maybe for 'weak'; she hates that word slightly more than 'pathetic,' however, 'pathetic' is still worse than 'annoying.'

She didn't respond to it.

When I first got back to Konoha, she actually talked back to me. I was surprised, to say the least. But not unpleasantly so. It just showed that she was stronger and was no longer a mindless yes-person. But after a number of months---all full of my "ruptured carotid of the mouth" episodes---she just stopped reacting. I could degrade her in any way that my unfettered mouth decided, and she wouldn't say a word back. She took to walking away from me when the insults came, which was exactly what she did today. But not before I noticed the slight build-up of moisture in her eyes.

That surprised me slightly. I hadn't seen Sakura cry or get teary-eyed in all the time I had been back. It just didn't happen. I figured she had finally stopped caring what I thought of her; finally stopped seeking acknowledgment from me. And I'll cut out my own tongue before I admit out loud that it stung slightly to know that I no longer held as much sway in her life as I used to; that I was no longer as important; that she didn't see me as she did in the past; that she no longer loved me.

But all that was thrown out the window today, when I saw that I had hurt her. And as sadistic as it sounds, a part of me was relieved. I was relieved because it meant she still cared what I thought. It meant she still loved me. That doesn't mean that I'm glad that I hurt her; far from it. And that doesn't mean that I want to continue hurting her, hence my dismay at my inability to articulate anything but insults in her presence.

I don't get it. I don't get what is so difficult about stringing a couple complementary words together. Heck, they don't even have to be nice; they could be neutral; utterly noncommittal and absolutely safe. That would be a step in the right direction and I know she would notice the difference. She still has an eye for changes in me, this I know. She would see it. And then things would go smoother, because the biggest obstacle is going to be actually telling her the truth.

I never thought there would come a day when I would wish I were as loudmouthed as the dobe, but… He doesn't seem to have this kind of trouble. Maybe just a moment in possession of the dobe's impropriety would actually help.

Ugh. Look what this situation has reduced me to; I'm thinking of emulating the dobe! This is ridiculous. It has to end. I just need a plan…

Or maybe I'll just join a monastery and train myself to not desire Sakur---ah, that is, to not desire anything. Yeah…

… … … … … (sigh)

Who am I kidding? I'll just go and ask someone where she is and talk to her. Hopefully my mouth won't become disjointed from my mind this time.

There's Nara; maybe he knows where she is…

Age 22

POV: Naruto

Yea-ah-ahh!!! I can't remember ever being this excited in my life! Well, okay, so that one time Ichiraku had that two for one special, I pretty much peed my pants with glee, but I'll be honest and admit that this is even better than two bowls of ramen for the price of one (please forgive me, my precious ramen! You know I love you!).

But today! This is the day! The day!

And it never would have happened if it weren't for my crazy-awesome ninja skills. That, and probably the lazybones' plan, along with Kaka-sensei's input, and Ero-sennin's special 'talents.' But it was mostly because of me! Me and my awesomeness! Dattebayo!

Getting those two together took the most elaborate plan to ever come from Konoha that involved ramen, table tennis, a hamster maze, a torn parachute, and a rusty spoon. I tell you, Shikamaru really can come up with a plan, no matter the materials, location, or soberness of himself and his colleagues. He's definitely a tensai, through and through.

Of course, my master guidance did help lay the groundwork for the whole scheme to get the teme to make it right with Sakura-chan. You could say my original genius spurred Shikamaru's into action, resulting in the perfectly laid out plan that ultimately brought us here today.

Yes, sir! I am all that and a bowl of ramen! Dattebayo!

And it was so great too, how easily the teme fell into our ultimate work of strategic genius. Shikamaru thinks he wanted it all to happen to begin with, which is why it actually worked, and that it would have been less troublesome if someone had just laid out the facts about him definitely losing Sakura-chan if he didn't smarten up, rather than 'trick' him into it.

Well, I say, 'bah' to that! You see, this is where the lazybones' genius is faulty. There's no way the teme was onto us! We were using our mad ninja skills! Four elite shinobi against one okay ninja? And he was onto us? Pfft! I don't think so!

Nope. If we hadn't intervened as we did, the teme never would have gone to Sakura-chan. And, as I later discovered, she wasn't going back to him again. She swore him off; told herself that she was never going to hope for something from him again. They were so finished!

And then Sakura-chan would be marrying Fuzzy-eyebrows now, instead of the teme! And then their kids… Sakura-chan is very pretty, but I fear that Fuzzy-eyebrows' genes might be too strong and that any kids he may have would by-and-large resemble their father more than their mother. There was no way I was letting Sakura-chan have mini-Fuzzy-eyebrows. No. Way. She'll be having mini-temes, for sure, now!

And that's another thing. If Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme didn't get together, he'd never have any kids and therefore never revive his clan. Because I know for a fact that he can't stand any of the women who hit on him. The restraint that guy has is nothing short of god-like, to this I will admit (though if he finds out I said that, I swear, I will hunt you down and slowly Resengan your eyes out).

Sakura-chan is the only woman he likes to be around. And I guess we all know why: Sasuke-teme hearts Sakura-chan!!!

But it would have been a dark day, indeed, if our plan had failed (which it couldn't have because of my awesomeness, but hypotheticals are allowed now that the threat of their becoming reality is past). The teme would have gone from frigid ice block to North Pole blizzard. Then he would have picked some nameless, faceless woman to be his placeholder wife. But we all would have known he was never going to be thinking of her. Sakura-chan would always be the only one on his mind. And they would never have had kids, because the teme would never be able to do what is needed to be done for such, because he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Sakura-chan and his placeholder wife wouldn't be Sakura-chan. You can see how this problem would have just festered and grown into a mammoth disaster, culminating in the teme going (more) psycho and killing Fuzzy-eyebrows, stealing Sakura-chan away to some hidey-hole, and beginning a collection of raisins that look like Itachi's Mangekyou eyes (each of which, he would poke through with a toothpick; mint flavoured, for an added sting).

Yes, I feel that we definitely did everyone a huge favour by making certain those two ended up together and not married to different people and crazy. It's better for everyone, I think.

Well, except for Fuzzy-eyebrows. Man, that guy just won't stop bawling. Someone should help him find a girlfriend. Ah…that is…a girlfriend who is not Sakura-chan. She's getting married in like two seconds. We tend to frown upon extramarital relationships, especially when the guy has two caterpillars for eyebrows. We're tolerant here in Konoha, just…not when it comes to caterpillar eyebrows. Those have got to go…

POV: Sakura

This is it! Today's the day! I can hardly believe this is even happening. But I know genjutsu when I see it and my skin smarted when I pinched it, so I know this has to be real.

But even so, this is so surreal. And exciting. Very, very exciting. Look at me; I'm shaking.

Just breathe in…and breathe out… In…and out… I will not pass out from hyperventilation. I will not pass out from hyperventilation. I will not---Okay. That is really not helping me here.

I am getting married today. Today! And I'm not just getting married to some guy. I'm marrying the guy! The guy!

It's all too much. I gave up on this dream three years ago. Completely and utterly rent it from the hopes of my soul. I was not going to be hurt by my unrequited love any longer. I was going to be free to love someone else. Anyone else. Except for the one I truly needed in my heart.

But then he came to me. That in and of itself was such a huge shock. Sasuke-kun never sought me out. That just wasn't his way. But that day, he found me. And he began speaking to me. I didn't initiate our exchange. He did. It was probably the biggest shock of my life when he spoke his peace. He didn't proclaim his undying love in a grandiose manner, like Lee-san, or anything. Actually, he used very few words, as he is wont to do. But it was more than enough for me to understand.

I am still not able to describe it. I probably never will be. But the emotion and truth of that experience---one of the happiest of my life---will always be in my mind.

And now here I am: three years later and I am marrying the man I've always loved. My first love. And my last. I can hardly contain myself!

Oh, I hope I don't trip on my way out. Geez, that would be humiliating.

Ugh! Why am I even thinking of such things? Great. Now I'm going to be worrying about tripping the entire time I'm walking out to my soon-to-be husband.

(Deep blush) Hee hee! My husband! Shannaro!

Oh, oh! Don't trip! Don't trip…

POV: Sasuke

Okay. I just have to relax. Everything will work out fine. People get married all the time; if they can get through it, I most certainly can. So, I can stop being so, ugh, jittery, and regain full control of my nerves… I'm a shinobi, for crying out loud! I go on highly dangerous missions all the time and never get even close to being like this. It's shameful. My dignity is taking a serious blow here. I just need to stop thinking…

She is not going to stand me up. I can stop worrying about it; the dobe told me that she is already here and is getting ready. She is not going to leave me at the altar. She came here to marry me, not to give me false hope only to spite me by leaving.

She wouldn't do that to me. She wouldn't have allowed me to court her (no, that is not old-fashioned, it's precise; 'dating' is far too ambiguous and noncommittal) and then accept my proposal, only to jilt me on our wedding day. She's not a spiteful person. And if she were to exact revenge on me for leaving her nearly ten years ago, she wouldn't choose such a harsh means of doing so. I think.

No. I know Sakura. She's here to marry me, not to ruin me. …And does that ever take a lot for me to admit that if she left me it would ruin me.

It doesn't require as much as it used to, of course. Ever since I managed to convince her that I didn't hate her, things went fairly well, aside from the occasional reversion back to my old ways, which she readily corrected (rather violently) and forgave me for.

I'm still slightly awed by the fact that I actually got all the necessary information about my…ah, feelings out there. I showed emotion. To another person. And it wasn't a variation of hate or annoyance. I, Uchiha Sasuke, emoted positive feelings to another person. Is it pathetic if I said that I felt slightly accomplished after I managed that? Well, in any case, it was a very new experience for me. Just like this sensation that is plaguing me today.

I am feeling so freaking nervous. I am Uchiha Sasuke. I do not get nervous, nor any variation of said emotion, for example, jittery, antsy, apprehensive, uneasy, hesitant, and/or anxious. That simply does not happen to me. It is not within my capacity to experience such weak and pitiful emotions.

Which begs the question, why the heck am I feeling so nervous?! I hate this feeling. Look at this disgraceful display; my palms are sweating; if I sit down, I start tapping my feet, but if I stand up I start pacing; I can't stare at anything for more than two seconds, except for the clock, which I can't stop glancing at. I'm a wreck. This is ridiculous. I won't put up with this. This is my body; I should have perfect control over its activities. Therefore, I will not allow it to behave so abhorrently any longer. I will be calm; cool; collected.

… … … And there you have it. See, there is no situation that I can't handle. My will demands it.

Huh. What's Kakashi doing in here? Waving that disgusting orange book in my face…

What's he going on about now? The wedding night? What about the wedding night?

… … … … … Ohhh… … …

Nervousness returning…

Age 25

POV: Naruto

HOLY FLYING RAMEN CUPS!!!!! IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S HAPPENING!

Oh! Oh! What do I do?! What do I do?!

This is all so much! I feel like my heart is about to make hamburger out of itself, while my brain is trying to surpass the confines of my skull. It's so exciting! So, so, so exciting!

(Screams of pain and sounds of things breaking.)

Oh boy! It won't be long now!

(A window smashes. More screaming. A lot of yelling.)

So soon! So soon! I'm so excited!

In just a little while, I'm gonna be an uncle! Dattebayo! Aw man! This is gonna be great!

(Loud thud as a body flies through the wall and into the opposite wall of the hallway.)

And it's not just because Sakura-chan is in the very strenuous process of giving birth to her and the teme's first kid. In just a couple of months, I'm gonna be the one getting thrown out of the delivery room by my extremely pained and irate wife as she gives birth to our first baby! Yeah! It's gonna be so freaking awesome! Dattebayo!

(Another loud crash, as the floor shakes and pictures fall from the now open wall.)

Though, I don't think Hinata-chan will be quite as violent as Sakura-chan is.

(More pained cries and another yell of anger.)

At least I hope she won't.

(A final cry of pain. Then… Another cry, this time from a younger being.)

AH! It's over! It's here! It's here! My niece or nephew is here!

I wonder if I'm allowed to go in to the room yet. Oh well, I'm not the Hokage for nothing! In I go!

Ah hah hah! The teme looks like someone used him for throwing bricks at! Man, even being confined to a bed and giving birth to a baby can't stop Sakura-chan from introducing the "Ambassadors of Pain" to the unwary. And the poor wall that Sasuke-teme smashed through after she sent him flying… If they want to have more kids, I'm going to have to allocate more funds for hospital maintenance, 'cause man! Either that or they're going to have to opt for home births. But I'm pretty sure that if I tell Sakura-chan that she'll do to me a hundred fold what she just did to the teme, so I think I'll just make sure the hospital funding is in place and save my precious noggin from the insane wrath any alternative action would most assuredly incur.

Oh? And what's this? What?! I'm not allowed to be in here yet? But I'm the Hokage! The Hokage!

Aww, fine. But I so get to stay after visiting hours are over. My unrivalled Hokage-powers demand it! Dattebayo!

POV: Sakura

And I thought getting stabbed through the abdomen, when I fought Sasori, hurt. That was like being tickled by clouds compared to this!

(Screams of pain and sounds of things breaking.)

I mean, it's supposed to be this beautiful and natural thing (ugh!); the maternal essence at its core. (Ahh! Breathe! We're breathing…) But I'm fairly certain that's all a load of crap, a lie perpetuated by men to ensure that we women continue to give rise to their devil spawn!

(A window smashes. More screaming. A lot of yelling.)

Oh my sweet Lord! When will it stop?!

OH! How could he do this to me?! I thought he loved me! Now I realize he was just using me to perform this horrendously painful act for him!

Oh! Naruto's right; he is a teme! How dare he put me through this?! And what's this now? He's telling me to push?!

I AM PUSHING YOU JERK!

(Loud thud as a body flies through the wall and into the opposite wall of the hallway.)

Telling me to push… Where does he get off?! I think I know that I'm supposed to push, moron, thank you very much! Ugh!

How did I ever believe that he cared for me?! Of course all he wanted was for me to be his baby factory! Ugh! I'm so stupid! Stupidstupidstupid!!!

(Another loud crash, as the floor shakes and pictures fall from the now open wall.)

That wall had it coming. Standing there, all smug and off-white. Who does it think it is? What, it thinks it's all righteous and mighty just because it's got a curtain attached to it? Well that hole I just put through it ought to make it think twice. Shannaro! It better realize that it's not all that! All it does is separate spaces and people from others. I mean, maybe this room and the other rooms would like to see each other. But they can't (sob) because the arrogant wall (hiccup) is always in the way, separating them from their fellow rooms. (sniffling) But not anymore! I'll show that wall a thing or two. I'll tear it down; blow it to bits with my fists of fury! Shannaro! Then the rooms will finally be together and they can be happy.

What's this? Oh, so he's come crawling back in here, has he? And now he's saying something to me…

Oh! I see! So rooms don't have feelings, do they?! Well I say you don't have feelings, you arrogant teme with a god-complex! Get away from meeee!!!

(More pained cries and another yell of anger.)

Breathing… I'm breathing…

Oh, please let this end soon! I feel like I'm about to split in half!

(A final cry of pain. Then… Another cry, this time from a younger being.)

Oh, goodness! It's over?! It's over! Hallelujah!

Look at my poor husband! He looks like a wreck! Gee, I was the one doing the equivalent of forcing a bowling ball through a garden hose! What the heck does he have to be so strung out over?!

… … … Oh. Right.

I'll apologize to him later for the whole 'literally throwing him out of the room' thing.

But right now I want to see my baby. Darn you Tsunade-shishou! Give me my baby already! Is it a boy or a girl? How much does he or she weigh? Is it healthy?

So many questions and absolutely no answers! I must know now!

What is Naruto doing in here? Get him out! I haven't seen my baby yet!

And that wall is really starting to piss me off. Shannaro!

POV: Sasuke

This is it. Holy crap, this is it.

It's almost over. All we have to do is get through the labour, and then we'll have a child in our hands.

My second goal will be complete. And the strange thing is, I didn't even think of that through the entire pregnancy until today, when Kakashi made a comment about when Team Seven was first formed and I told of my two ambitions. That aspect of our situation had completely escaped my mind until today.

And as I think about the implications, I find myself indifferent to them. I have a family again, and clan or not, that is all that matters.

(Screams of pain and sounds of things breaking.)

Sakura… I admire and love her all the more for this. She is strong (I still rarely admit such out loud), so I know the pain she's in must be considerable for her to be breaking carts, beds (this is the third one they've had to move her to), doors, windows, and walls in her distress.

(A window smashes. More screaming. A lot of yelling.)

Oh. Crap. Her grip is strong. I think she just crushed every bone in my hand. At least it's my right. Chidori would be a no-go for a while if it were my left.

Whew. That… That is really… That really hurts, actually. Ahem.

I can handle this. This is nothing compared to her pain, I'm sure. Of course, I wouldn't object if she were to take to breaking the room apart again, instead of my limb. But, of course, it's just a thought. I'm not complaining, or anything.

Oh, I think she's starting to cry. No, no. She has to stay focused on the task at hand. (Though I wouldn't mind if she forgot about the task related to crushing my hand.)

She needs to push.

Come on Sakura. You can do this.

(Loud thud as a body flies through the wall and into the opposite wall of the hallway.)

Okay. Ow.

Well, at least she let go of my hand. I think there may be one bone in it that's not been turned into powder by her inhuman grip.

Ugh. I guess I have to go back in there… It just occurred to me that there's a very good chance that I'm a masochist.

Here goes…

(Another loud crash, as the floor shakes and pictures fall from the now open wall.)

Sweet avenging! She put a hole through the wall with me! I thought she just threw me through the doors. Well, it was close. She only missed tossing me through them by about a foot.

And now what's she doing? Going on about the feelings of…what? Rooms? How rooms feel about walls separating them? I thought Tsunade gave her an epidural, not LSD! Sakura; she has to stop talking about the tyrannical rule of walls over rooms and focus on giving birth to our child.

(More pained cries and another yell of anger.)

Okay… Apparently she's very sensitive toward the plight of rooms and their oppression by walls and she doesn't like it when someone belittles their pain.

Ugh. I really hope that's her pain and hormones talking. Otherwise, I'll be quite concerned about the mental health of our child. What if it's genetic?

No. I shouldn't think about such things. It's just the whole labour experience. She'll be fine as soon as it's over. And it's not like my family has a history of mental stability either…

(A final cry of pain. Then… Another cry, this time from a younger being.)

It's over.

It's over and we now have a baby.

It's over and she's okay now.

It's over and I actually survived it.

It's over and my hand--- Well, no, it's safe to say that my hand is in critical condition; she completely mangled it. But otherwise, we made it through.

She's fine; judging from the healthy cries, our baby is fine; I'm fine. We're okay.

What's the dobe doing in here already? We haven't even seen our child yet.

And what's with the delay here people? Sakura's getting impatient. And an impatient Sakura is a dangerous Sakura.

Ah! Why is she gripping my battered hand again and glaring at the wall like she's going to smash it to drywall dust?

Just hand over the baby already! My hand's life depends on it!

Age 28

POV: Naruto

Oh man. I hope they fix this.

I mean, I really hope they fix this. They'll never be happy again if they don't.

And it's strange, but I think this is the first time I've ever placed blame with both of them. Usually I just blame the teme for any disagreement him and Sakura-chan have. I mean, he is the teme after all.

But I know that's not the case this time. They both had a hand in this. It takes two, as they say.

I'm kind of surprised actually. I knew there was some tension between them, but I didn't think it was this bad. But it's always been like that, I guess. I've never really been on the inside when it comes to matters between Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme. The teme is too private and Sakura-chan seems to prefer to keep the personal items about her and Sasuke to herself, just like she did all those years ago when he left Konoha. She never has told me about what really happened that night and I've never worked up the audacity to ask. (Yes, I realize that asking something like that would definitely constitute a straining of the allowances friendship affords. I'm not completely uncouth, you know.) And though I suppose the issue doesn't hold as much weight as it did back then, I do still wonder about it. They are my best friends, after all. My family. What troubles them troubles me. Which is why I'm so upset by this now.

I know that things got a little strained right after their son was born. It was a very new experience for the two of them and I'm certain, in the beginning, they were at a loss more often than not. But they got through that soon enough. Sakura-chan's a great mom and the teme isn't half-bad as a father, though if he finds out I said that, I will order ANBU to capture your traitorous behind for some intensive "questioning." I'm still the almighty Hokage-sama! Fear my greatness, dattebayo!

But anyway, they smoothed out the bumps, like most couples do. I know when me and Hinata-chan had our baby girl, we had some issues too. It's just normal, when a huge change is introduced to your routine for you to stumble a bit. But we work it out. Hinata-chan and me did; so did the teme and Sakura-chan.

But now there's this new problem of theirs. I don't know what it's about and I don't know when it started, but I do know that it's not as simple as the issue from three years ago was. That was a bump in the road, this is Hokage Mountain. And though it would be nothing for Sakura-chan to blast through the actual mountain, I don't think it's going to be as easy as that when it comes to dealing with their relationship.

I mean, it's got to be pretty bad for Sakura-chan to voluntarily spend the day sorting through boring mission reports and various other paper work---as part of an ongoing investigation that's far more cool than the paper work aspect of it suggests---with that teme Sai, no less, rather than go on the actual fun part of the mission where she would have actually done some real shinobi work, with Sasuke-teme. That in and of itself tells me that something is seriously wrong between the teme and Sakura-chan. There's no way any sane person would choose Sai over Sasuke-teme. (Again, if he finds out about this, I'll rain down destruction on you and yours, so help me ramen!) And Sakura-chan can barely stand that teme, Sai. (He has yet to learn the art of not pissing people off.) So the only possible explanation for her choice to work with him instead of her own husband is that things have gotten so strained between them that they are taking to avoiding each other.

Now, that's not such a stretch for the teme, even after all this time, but for Sakura-chan to partake in the avoiding too… I fear what could have happened.

What if… What if one of them had an affair?

GAH! NO! I will not think such things! I will not think such things! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!

Sakura-chan would never cheat on the teme; she loves him too much. And Sasuke-teme would never cheat on her; his hormones only work in conjunction with Sakura-chan. … … …And because he loves her too. But that hormone thing is definitely a factor. …Because I say so. I am your Lord Hokage. My word is law. Ergo, the teme's hormones are ineffective unless in the presence of Sakura-chan. I declare this a scientific fact, completely unsupported by empirical evidence, but wholly supported by my unrivalled crazy-awesome brain skills! Dattebayo!

So, obviously, neither of them could have cheated on the other. That just can't be it. Which brings us back to square one: what the heck is going on between those two?

POV: Sakura

(Sound of teeth grinding and fists cracking)

I swear if he makes reference to the main feature of the male anatomy one more time I'm going to see to it that he no longer possesses his. Ugh! How many times can he ask me about Sasuke-kun's er, ah, ahem? This is absolutely ridiculous! That little perverted jerk---who dresses in the manner of a male prostitute---Sai! Ugh! Control, Sakura. Control…

Can't he see that I'm so not in the mood for a discussion on my husband's assets, right now? Geez!

Actually, can't he see that I will never be in the mood for a discussion of that nature with him? I mean, honestly! After thirteen years, you would think he would have learned that such topics are not open for dialogue. It's just not right.

And Sai's inane questions are really not helping me handle the situation with my previously mentioned husband. And by 'handle,' I mean 'ignore.'

(Heavy sigh)

I know that's not the way to deal with problems. You're supposed to face them head-on; that's the only way you will solve them and get on with your life. But I don't know how to do that. I'm at a loss. I've never felt so helpless in my life, and I was pretty darn helpless in my genin days, so that's saying something.

It's just… It's like I'm back at that time again. When we were genin and I tried so hard to get close to Sasuke-kun. There was nothing I wanted more than to get to know him; for him to let me close. I understood him better than most of the other girls could have hoped to (I always have, for some reason), but it wasn't enough. I wanted more. It was only after he returned and confessed-without-confessing that he loved me that I finally got my wish.

But now it feels like that wish has died. And I don't know how it happened. One moment we were as close as we've ever been---meaning that I could talk on and on about anything I wanted and ask any question, and he would listen and respond in his own nonverbal and/or monosyllabic style. That's our way. That's how we work, and I love it like that. I love it because he was listening to me and even if he didn't say anything back, I always knew why. I could always tell what he was thinking. I understood him. That had always been one of my greatest wishes. Because if I could understand him that would mean that he had let me in; no one can understand Sasuke-kun without him allowing them to come close. That's just how he works.

And now I feel like I'm caught in a perpetual state of déjà vu. It's like our younger years all over again. Except this time he isn't hell-bent on becoming stronger so he can kill his brother. This time it's much worse: I have no idea what he is aiming for. I don't know what he's thinking, what he's striving for. And like back then, I don't know what he feels toward me.

We're bordering on strangers now and it scares me that I allow myself to sleep next to someone I don't even know. All it would take is a simple question, right? "Do you still love me, Sasuke-kun?" That's all I have to say. It's not exactly a tongue twister. But it seems like the most difficult thing I could ever do. And it is not even the asking that is difficult; it is the answer that I fear I will not be able to handle. I am terrified of his answer; absolutely terrified that he will say that which I could never bear to hear: "No."

So I choose ignorance over the truth of the matter; ignorance over the potential of heartbreaking pain. However, I am also choosing ignorance over the potential of relief and happiness. Because I know that he might not say no. He might say yes. He might still love me. This separation may simply be an easily remedied dry spell that only requires us to force ourselves to face each other again, rather than continue to turn away and live as independent bodies who happen to share the same house.

This cannot continue. I know that. Our children are beginning to pick up on the disunity between us. Children, young as they may be, are highly perceptive like that. They get upset far more easily and don't seem to obey as they used to. If one of us is in the room, they will ask for the other. It's not that they want the other parent more; it's that they want both of us, together. Children are strange. And they make it that much more painful because of their perceptiveness. What upsets them upsets me, and vice versa. And I know it's the same with Sasuke-kun.

We need to figure this out. I don't want to lose him. I love him. That goes without saying. But it seems that we have forgotten what that truly means. And if we are to continue with this marriage, we have got to relearn that fundamental aspect of our relationship. If we do not… I don't want to think about that possibility…

POV: Sasuke

It's finally happened. She's finally realized that I'm not the man she thinks I am. She's come to see that I'm not what she deserves. She could do better. She understands that now, after all this time.

Strange, but I thought for certain she would come to that realization much sooner than this. Actually, I thought she would see this fact before we even got married. So she's about six years slow from my original calculation. The result is the same, regardless.

Usually being proven right brings me a measure of satisfaction. But now… I just feel sick. Honestly sick. And I'd ask her to take a look at me with her medical skills, but I can't make myself do that. I can hardly look at her anymore, and I don't know why. The worst part of it is when I do manage to meet her eyes: I'm thrown back in time to when we were teenagers and hurting her was a regular occurrence for me. I recall when we were nineteen and I saw her teary eyed for the first time since my return to Konoha. It's like someone is repeatedly stabbing me with a white-hot or frigid cold sword (it's difficult to tell the difference) in the heart and gut.

I am at a loss. I can swallow enough pride to admit to that. I don't know how we got to this point. As near as I can tell, nothing had really changed. We were just living our lives like normal: I was going on missions; so was she, though she spends more time in Konoha at the hospital than in the field; we were raising our children. And then one day it became painfully obvious that our sedentary lives had in fact changed. Somewhere along the way, something slipped away. And it is impossible to figure out just what it was or when that happened. The point is, it has happened.

Now the question is, what do I do? I am aware that 'talking' is in order. But I don't talk. That's her role in our relationship. She talks, I listen.

…She talks, I listen.

Maybe it's time we switched roles. Maybe it's time that I talk and she listens. Because something has to change. If it doesn't…I think this time…she will be the one leaving, instead of me.

Age 31

POV: Naruto

Alright! This is so great! My baby girl is starting her first day at the academy! (Unmanly squeal)

Ah, she's growing up too fast. Before I know it, she'll be doing S-rank missions and I'll have to threaten the lives of every male in Konoha to ensure they don't go trying to get fresh with my precious princess. Ooohhh, they'll rue the day puberty hit; I'll make sure of that! Ain't nobody is going to come near my little girl! Dattebayo!

Especially Teme Junior. I've seen him eying my baby up when he thinks there's no one watching. He thinks he's so tricky, just like Teme Senior. Well! If I can catch the teme's wandering eye, I can most certainly catch mini-teme's as well!

He'd better not be getting ideas in that little Uchiha head of his. Uchihas and ideas do not mix! Three cases in point: Itachi's brainwave to massacre the clan; the teme's genius decision to go to Sound and; the teme's expert handling of the Sakura-chan incident, when we were nineteen.

Really, I think anything the teme has done can go down as proof that Uchihas suck at thinking. Except finally getting it right with Sakura-chan. But we all know it was really because of me that he got her to marry him, so that doesn't really count… Okaaay. I'll share that achievement with the teme, since he did go through with the marriage; that warrants credit on his part. But I'm still responsible for most of it! Dattebayo!

Aww… But my little girl is an academy student as of today! The next milestone will be when she gets her hitae-ate as a sign of her genin status.

It takes me back. Waaay back, to when Iruka-sensei made me a genin. That's still one of the happiest moments of my life. It's right up there with making my family complete again when we got the teme back, Sasuke-teme marrying Sakura-chan (their happiness is my happiness), Hinata-chan telling me she loved me, marrying my Hinata-chan, and the birth of my and Hinata-chan's kids. (Anything related to Hinata-chan can go down in this category, really. She's just a natural catalyst for happiness!)

That seems a lifetime ago. Gee, now I sound like some old man, like Kaka-sensei. And I feel old too. Ah! This is what fatherhood does to you: makes you feel old and outdated!

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I can understand why Tsunade-baa-chan would use that youth jutsu of hers. Getting old sucks!

Hmmm… I feel like I'm being overcome with the sudden urge to paint on the faces of Hokage Mountain (I can give myself crazy-awesome fangs and some piercings!) and put chalk brushes in slightly ajar doors to watch them fall on peoples' heads.

Yes! That would so help me recapture my youth! That way, Fuzzy-eyebrows won't be the only one still glowing with the radiance of Youth! Dattebayo!

Maybe I'll roundup Sakura-chan, Sasuke-teme, and Kaka-sensei and we can all go on some D-rank missions together; finding runaway cats for their rotund owners, planting rice fields, fixing up fences. You know, all that nostalgic stuff!

Yeah! That would bring the spark of youth back into my life!

Oh, there's Sasuke-teme! (I think Sakura-chan is still with the little teme-in-training by the entrance, attempting not to cry her eyes out, no doubt.) I'll just go right over there and tell Teme Senior my awesome plan! He'll be so psyched! Reclaimed youth, here I come!

POV: Sakura

Oh, I feel so proud! My first child is entering the ninja academy today.

He's growing up too fast. I don't like it. It makes me realize just how much time has already slipped away; that I have that much less time to spend with my children before they grow up, decide they don't like me coddling them anymore, and move out. I think I might actually die when that day comes. …Okay, so not actually, but I will be crushed. I'm bordering on tears right now, and he's only just starting at the academy.

Oh, and now he's giving me that perturbed scowl, which he definitely gets from his father (darn those strong Uchiha genes!). I guess I'm embarrassing him with the threat of crying over him. Boys are so touchy like that. Your eyes show one speck of extra moisture and they're automatically on guard, expecting a waterfall. I'm not going to start sobbing, so he can wipe that adorable scowl off of his even more adorable face (ooh does he hate it when I call him that! It makes him scowl even more, which only makes me call him adorable more, which results in him scowling more. It's a vicious cycle. He should know better by now. If something annoys him, he ought to just take it as is and not try to alter it to his preferences. Any attempt to do so will only increase that which is annoying him. But then again, Sasuke-kun didn't learn this until he was at least in his late twenties, so I suppose his son would take some time to learn it too).

I have to try hard now. I wouldn't want to embarrass my baby boy at the inauguration ceremony by bursting into tears. (Heaven forbid…) So, I will not cry. I will not cry. I. Will. Not. Cry.

(Smothered whimper)

Ahh, I can't… The tears…they're coming!

Ohhh! And now he's scowling at me again! Stop doing that, please! I'm trying here! Can't you see that I'm trying?!

(Quiet sniffling and deep breathing)

This is not an occasion to be crying. He's only entering the academy. It's not like he's getting married or something.

… … … (A strangled sob and muffled sniffling)

Before I know it, he's going to be taking on dangerous A- and S-rank missions and bringing a girl home with an engagement ring on her finger! (Very loud muffled sob. Then a sniffle. Then another sob. Then deep breathing. Then calm breathing. … … … … Then a strangled sob…and a sniffle) He's not my baby anymore!

I can't… I can't… I can't handle this! It's all too much!

Why is this happening? I don't want him to grow up this fast! He's supposed to be my baby until he's eighteen, and then he can grow up and get the heck out of our house!

But that's not how it works, is it? They are not yours for all that time. They are barely ever yours. You get the first five or six years and then other people get license to their days. And you start to see less and less of them. They begin a new chapter in their lives while you remain stuck in your old one, left to realize that there are pages now missing from it.

He will never be as close to me as he is right now. After today he is a shinobi-in-training, which means he will be taught to draw closer and closer to the ideal of his village. His first devotion will be to Konoha, not me. He will belong to the Leaf village. He will not be solely mine and Sasuke-kun's anymore.

And suddenly I feel so old. Because I was once that child. I was once like my son; going off to the academy; pledging myself to the service of Konoha; a carrier of the Will of Fire.

Those days are gone now. Long, long gone. I've lived that life. Now it's time for my son to do the same. But my heart still wishes that he didn't have to just yet. Just one more day of him begging me to play with him, not train with him. Just one more day where the scratches and scrapes on his small body are from climbing trees, not cold kunai and shuriken. Just one more day when his hands hold a hockey stick and a baseball bat, not the angry steel of a katana. Just one more day where the stains on his clothing come from mud, grass, and messy eating habits, not other peoples' blood.

I wish for that. I wish for a past that is really still the present, but I know will disappear in the near future.

Yet I know that he must grow up. All children do. But we are shinobi; our children grow up faster than most. This is our way.

And look at him… He's so excited. I think Sasuke-kun must have been a little like this when he first entered the academy too.

I just hope he stays that way: devoted; eager to serve; a happy person.

I want him to be what his father couldn't. I want him to be what it took his father the first twenty years of his life to become: content.

POV: Sasuke

So today's the day, huh? Geez, it seems so sudden for some reason. I mean, I am almost positive that he was just born last week, and that he said his first word five days ago, and that he turned three only two days ago. And I swear it was yesterday that he first asked me when he could enter into the ninja academy. Though that's impossible, because he asked me that for the first time when he was four (Apparently he was already thinking long-term, even at that age).

Where does the time fly? I feel about fifty right now just thinking about it.

I suppose it's normal in these situations to think about one's waning youth. (Oh, avenging forbid, I start talking like Fuzzy-eyebrows!) Nothing makes you feel older than watching your own child start out on a journey that you have already been through.

I can recall the inauguration ceremony when I entered into the academy. I was so nervous. Not because of the formalities involved, but because my father had actually taken the time to attend it. It brought me no small measure of joy that he was taking part in something related to me and not my brother, even though I knew, deep down, it was only because his presence was expected, borderline mandatory for reasons of reputation.

When I became a father, I swore I would never be like mine. I wouldn't put unreasonable expectations on my children, nor would I favour one over the other (though I admit that I probably spoil my daughter more than I ought to. I can't help it! She's too much like her mother for me to say no to her).

That is why my presence here today probably doesn't seem like all that much to my son. I'm just his father, and parents generally attend such events, is probably what he thinks of it. But to me, my presence here means that I am not like my father. I am here because I want to be, not because this is what parents do or is what others expect. I didn't need to be reminded by another one of my children of this ceremony. I didn't have to compromise another activity for it; my time was set aside long before. I did not want to become like my father. Today tells me that I am not.

But it also tells me that I'm getting bloody old. Those memories of when I first entered into the academy are grainy and sepia toned. I would swear that they were from someone else's life, were it not for the emotional attachment I have to them. And watching my son's entrance ceremony is surreal in that I realize now that this is what my father's perspective of that event was. This is what he saw as he stood in the back with the other parents. I'm in his shoes now, and I feel old. Because in my mind, my father was old when he stood here as I am now. In that time, I never fathomed that I would one day be as old as he.

Yet here I am. Thirty-one going on antique and I realize that my wife is crying and failing miserably at hiding it. I---no! That's…not what I was going to say. Well, she is crying and failing miserably at hiding it. That's true, but that wasn't what I was going to say. I got sidetracked. Her tears always do that to me. But I can see that she's only crying due to the circumstances at hand, not something that deserves my attention of the "violent" variety, so I'm fairly certain I don't need to rush over there right now. Besides, our son is with her, looking as perturbed as any young boy would be if their mother were to start sobbing beside them. Eh. He'll get over it.

But anyway, I realized that, though I will still contribute to and help protect this village, my most important duty from here on out will be to guide my children in the way of Konoha. If they inherit the Will of Fire they will be able to create a brighter future for themselves and generations to come. I never want to see the devastation of that dark night from my past ever again. This is the best way I know how to ensure that.

Ugh. Now what does that dobe want?

… … … … …A series of D-rank missions as a very sad attempt to reclaim our youth? Dear Avenger-sama! Is he going through a mid-life crisis, or something?

Age 34

POV: Naruto

OH NO HE DIDN'T!!! OH! OH! OH! He did not do what I just saw him do! There's no way! I will not accept it! I just…

AHH! He did! He did do what I just saw him do! Ohhh, sweet ramen, give me strength!

My baby girl! My sweet little baby girl! Her innocence has been stolen! Stolen by that, that teme's son! Ahh! PERVEEERRRT!!! (I knew the teme would corrupt their kids, regardless of Sakura-chan's influence. His teme-ness is just too strong; and, no doubt, it was passed on through his genes.)

What's a father to do? I can't even eat ramen, I'm so upset! How dare he?! How. Dare. He? Kissing the Hokage's daughter; where does he get off doing something like that?

And what is it with Uchihas and stealing the innocence of Uzumakis? Seriously, I feel that there must be some sort of conspiracy written in the teme's family scrolls or something, stating that all Uchihas must ravish the innocence of an Uzumaki to be considered teme-like enough to be worthy of the family name, or something.

I mean, remembering my first kiss---uugghhh! IT'S COMING BACK!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! OH, THE HORROR!!! HOKAGE-SAMA, SAVE ME!!! Oh, wait! I am the Hokage! What do I do, self? What. Do. I. Do?!?!?!

GAAAHHHHH!!! SCARRING MENTAL IMAGES! SPAWN OF THE DEVIL! GET BACK, I SAY! BACK! OH, PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SWEET AND TRUE, REPRESS! REPRESS!!!

(Whimper. Whimper.) I… I… I guess I am…glad that her ah…experience…wasn't as, uh, traumatic as mine was. I guess I can't get too upset about that. It could be worse… A lot worse.

Ugh. (Shudder.)

POV: Sakura

Oh. My. Goodness! Awww; it's sooo cute! My baby had his first kiss! (Shrill squeal.) Oh! Oh! OH! I just have to talk to Hinata-san about this! Ah! I wonder if she's as excited as I am. Oh! How can she not be? This is too much!

(Sigh.) It's so nostalgic. To be that young again, where almost everything you do is a first… And this is such a sweet first too: the first kiss.

I remember my first ki---

(Twitch.)

Okay. Never mind.

I'll just reseal that memory in the 'Repress Forever' vault of my mind, along with Kakashi-sensei's dirty man-giggles and Tsunade-shishou's drunken conversations with her potted plants, which I've had the misfortune of hearing over the years.

Geez. You would think that someone from our team could have gotten a normal first kiss: Naruto and Sasuke-kun had that, ahem, incident in the academy; I got that…ugh…on that mission eighteen years ago; and I don't think Kakashi-sensei has even been kissed. (I keep telling him those books of his are no supplement for the real thing, but he just keeps on giggling in that disturbing way of his. I swear, if he could, he would marry his precious Icha Icha. The only question would be, which one would he choose? All of them, I suppose. I mean, if he were allowed to marry a book, somehow I doubt there would be an issue with him being polygamous in his matrimony. Okay. I think too much.)

Yes. We are a sad group, indeed. It's a relief to know that history is not repeating itself in our children.

…So far, anyway.

I hope Naruto doesn't freak out too much over this. He is so protective of his 'baby girl.' Goodness. If a fly were to land on her, he'd scream, "Assault!" and pull out the disinfectant spray, sterilized bandages, and Hinata-san's all-purpose ointment in a flash. It seems a bit much, but Naruto's always been like that, I guess.

But this is slightly different from flies coming near his precious child…

Eh. It's not like he'll do anything rash. I'm sure it will be fine. He might pick a fight with Sasuke-kun, going on about the teme-like qualities of Uchihas, or something, but I'm certain he will leave our son alone…

Ooh! (Another shrill squeal.) I should start discussing centrepieces and floral arrangements with Hinata-san! Ooh, and ask her if she has ideas about the dresses for the bridesmaids and, of course, for the bride herself! Hmmm… I wonder what flavour cake they'd like best…

POV: Sasuke

… … … … … … …

… … … … … … … (Lazy blink.)

… … … … … … …

… … … … … … … (Stifled yawn.)

… … … … … … …

Huh.

Why the heck is the dobe storming over here like he wants to beat the crap out of me?

I want to be your last first love that you ever have.

Lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide.

I want to be your last first kiss for all time.

-"Inevitable" by Anberlin

Guttersnipe's Word: (Sweet goodness! Thirty-eight pages! Why do my fics always mutate into something I don't intend them to be?!) I have resigned myself to the fact that I am doomed to be caught in a perpetual state of fluctuation between one extreme of fluff to the other extreme of angst, when writing in regards to any or all of the members of Team Seven. I swore it would never happen to me---the fluff, that is---yet here I be. But anyway, I'd appreciate it if you would review. After all, that's the whole point of the review button down there. Mr. Clicky awaits you!