Chat Up Lines
Basic character info before start of the story: Percy and Oliver are about 26.
Jesse and Luke both have sandy blonde hair and look similar but Jesse is 25 and Luke is 20. Luke is shorter with brown eyes and big lips (he's actually based on a guy I saw at college who is absolutely gorgeous, sporty AND all A grades in his subjects). Jesse has Green eyes and was a gryffindor in the year below Oliver and Percy. Tom is tall and thin, but has muscles and has curly black hair and looks like the guy from the british head and shoulders advert (everyone knows a guy like mickey). Jeanie is Tom's cousin and is about 23, with reddish brown hair and in this wearing a denim skirt, brown boots with a white vest top and a white mesh shirt over that.
On with the story:
"Come on, Wood. Join the fun. It'll be a laugh" Tom D'Arcy, a tall, lithe man with thick black curls grinned. He was one of the Beaters of Puddlemere United. Oliver Wood, keeper, groaned softly, as he looked around his group of friends, several pairs of eyes glinted with mischief. He was headed to certain doom. "Aww come on, Ollie, Please? We're all doing it" Even sweet Luke Zambini, Gryffindor brother of the Slytherin Blaze battered his eyelids. Luke was undoubtedly the baby faced charmer of the team. He was shorter then the rest at 5 foot 8, sandy blonde hair and large, brown eyes. He was also the youngest, having only become a starter player after two years as a reserve, only twenty one. Luke titled his head slightly and shot Oliver a doe-eyed look, Jesse Jackson, Tom's partner in crime rested his head on Luke's shoulder and shot a similar, puppy dog look. Jesse was only slightly taller then Luke and had sparkling green eyes but a similar shade of sandy blonde hair, they almost looked like twins.. Almost.
"We'll find you a fit looking bird, Ol" The only girl of the team, Jeanie D'Arcy, Tom's cousin, grinned. It was common knowledge in the team that Oliver was gay, everyone on staff knew too.. Except Oliver wasn't gay, he was bi-sexual. He did prefer men over women though usually. "Or a bloke if that's what you want Ollie" Luke smiled. Oliver just gave a nervous chuckle, the others joined in.
"I'll go first! Luke.. Pick me someone" Tom downed the rest of his fire whiskey as Luke scanned the area.
"If you like him go ask him out" Ginny Weasley growled light heartedly at her elder brother, Percy. She'd pulled him out, cornering after work and had taken him out drinking. Today was his birthday but he'd not told anyone about it. Fred and George were currently waiting to meet Bill and Charlie at the London AirFloo, where international floos landed. Charlie and his team had discovered some wall paintings and scripture that held pictures of dragons and had asked his brother Bill to come and see if he could help shed some light on their origins.
"It's not simple as that, Gin" Percy sighed morosely as he looked over towards a booth near the other end of the bar, filled with several good looking Rugby players. "What are you talking about, Percy? It is that simple. You just get off your scrawny arse, go over there and ask him out!" She glared at him, slamming her bottle of IceVodka to the bar, a little harder then she'd meant. Percy just couldn't. Penelope Clearwater had been in touch with him lately and had mentioned wanting to get back together. They'd broken up because she wanted to have fun
And Percy had really tried desperately to avoid doing anything sexual with her. They'd been apart for a year now but it seemed she'd changed her mind now that she'd had her fun. Only now, whilst Percy had loved her before, albeit, as a sister, he now felt that any feelings for her at all had gone completely. He wasn't sure how to tell her that. "Gin, that's Oliver Wood, Oliver WOOD" Percy was slightly red in the face as he stressed the name of a guy he lived with for seven years at school. Brown eyes stared at him expectantly. Apparently Ginny didn't get it. He sighed and flung himself onto the bar, banging his head against folded arms before looking to her again. "Oliver Wood was my closest friend while I stayed at Hogwarts, he was there for me through everything… He was the quidditch captain with every girl fawning over him.. He's the Puddlemere captain now. He can have anyone." Ginny seemed to find Percy's heart felt confession hilarious because the pretty red head threw her head back and laughed so hard that she fell from the seat, forgetting that there wasn't a back to it. Percy blushed and slipped from his own seat to help her up.
Once seated, and over the fit of giggles, Ginny continued on her pep talk. "Come on, Percy.. Do it for me? It is your birthday. It was reported in the papers that Oliver is possibly gay. And forget about Penelope, she's a cowbag and well" She was cut off.
"Everyone knew that Oliver Wood fancied the pants off of you" George and Fred's voices suddenly finished her sentence. Percy spun round to see his five brothers. Bill was sat on the chair besides him, Charlie was propped against the bar and the twins had arms slung over each other's shoulders. Percy gaped at them. Lying bastards.
"Pick a number between one and ten" Tom leant against the bar beside a girl with shoulder length blonde hair. She turned from her friend, eyebrows quirked in confusion "Pardon?". Tom chuckled and signaled to the bartender for a drink. "Pick a number between one and ten, beautiful" She shrugged and looked back to her friend who giggled. The friend whispered in her ear and the blonde said "Seven". Tom frowned, and gave his head a light shake . "You lose, beautiful. Clothes off" He cast her a playful grin and the blonde gave him a look of disgust but the friend again whispered something into her ear and she turned back to him. "It was her number so she'll strip" The blonde nodded her head to her friend and the girl smiled flirtatiously. As the bartender placed a shot of fire whiskey on the bar, Tom asked for two more and moved to stand between them.
The quidditch players still at the table began to laugh, Tom had been turned down by
By the blonde but had been accepted by the friend. But by looks of it he was trying to get the two of them into his bed. They all laughed at the boy till Jeanie nudged Luke in the ribs, reminding him that it was his turn to get someone to choose him a target. As he was about to choose Oliver to pick him a target a large breasted and rather plump woman. Her hair was curled and loose but the colour changed and the different lengths changed coloured, making it look like a moving rainbow. As she reached their table the group looked up and she flipped her hair over her shoulder grinning. She clamped a hand onto Luke's shoulder and he visibly gulped, brown eyes going larger than Oliver thought possible. She bent and licked his ear before whispering "Ever been hunting before, Big boy?" She purred at him with a leering look as her hand began to slide down his chest. He squeeked and tried to stop it but she used her other hand to grab his. He closed his eyes and shook his head violently. "Well then, why don't you come to my cabin with me and I'll show you how to stuff a beaver" Luke's eyes flew open and before anyone had a chance to react he scrambled over Jeanie's lap and threw himself onto Jesse. "Girl, hands off my brother" Jesse snapped his wrist and cuddled the blonde closer, kissing him on the forehead before glaring again at the woman. She looked somewhat surprised and cast her view over to Oliver who shook his head before glaring at Jeanie and stomping off. Jeanie finally let out the laughter she'd been holding in and collapsed onto the table quivering. Jesse lifted Luke over her, dropping the lightweight young man half on Jeanie's back and half onto the seat. The pair squirmed for a moment then sorted them selves out.
Luke shifted to sit next to Oliver and looked around the bar before noticing a group of seven red heads. He squinted and realized it was the infamous Weasley children. "Woah! Would you look at that.. All seven of them and they all look pretty much the same" Oliver gave a nod of agreement, he'd been staring at them all night. "Hey, Oliver, isn't that Percy near Ginny? He's not wearing his glasses" Jesse had been a Gryffindor in the year below Oliver and Percy so had known the two, or Oliver at least, pretty well. Jeanie turned around and whistled. The group had all grown up to be gorgeous, all having filled out, Percy especially. His hair shone a fiery red and his facial features were more chiseled. He'd put on weight and looked healthier, the sickly white library induced complexion had given way to a tan that was thought impossible for red heads. Oliver noted that Percy had also taken some fashion advice since they'd last met. He was wearing a black suit with a satin shine, underneath that a crisp white shirt with a loosened red tie. Oliver felt under dressed in his own white shirt and jeans. It was tight enough to emphasize the muscles he'd acquired from his vigorous training routine. Jeanie turned in her seat and let out a low whistle of appreciation. They turned towards
Her. "Who are the hotties.. The one in the suit with the red tie and the one in the blue and black striped t-shirt?" Jesse and Oliver looked for the blue and black top and noted that it was Charlie, wearing a plain striped tee and black jeans. He still had his quidditch physique, working with dragons either gave him a similar work out or enough spare time to spend hours in a gym. Jesse grinned " The stripes is Charlie, he was the Gryffindor captain before Oliver, second oldest of them. Suit is Percy, he's the second oldest and had a thing for our Ollie" Luke and Jeanie turned to Oliver in interest, eyebrows raised. Oliver blushed, shaking his head rapidly. There was no way someone as smart as Percy would fancy him. He was the stupid jock, Percy probably laughed at how stupid he was. But they had been good friends over the seven years they shared a dorm together. "Then I vote that Ollie chats up Percy" Jeanie cackled.
"Woods looking over here and Percy, baby, he's looking at you" Charlie nudged Percy's shoulder, making him blush. Bill chuckled quietly to himself before looking to his two younger brothers "And the girl is looking at both of you". Charlie instantly perked up at that and saw that she was. She said something to Wood, who ducked his head, then eyed the two up again. Charlie caught her eye and winked, gaining a laugh then turned to the bar and finished his drink, ordering two more shots of fire whiskey. Once given them, he headed towards the Quidditch players' table. "Wish me luck, men!" He bellowed, gaining a shout from Ginny who bounced a peanut off the back of his head.
Author's Notes: Dedicated to Tabby and my friend Gary. I got bored so I was finding funny chat up lines and sharing them with my friend Gary, but Tabby asked me to write something as she is looking for fics to inspire her to draw something.
I'm tempted to do another story with various situations of Oliver and Percy using pick up lines on each other. Don't worry! There is more to it :)