Glinda's tears felt endless, her heart shattered by their betrayal, and her own. Fiyero, her love and fiancé, had been cheating on her this whole time with her dearest friend, Elphaba. Elphaba, who had lived with her and shared her closest secrets. Elphaba, who she had nearly followed to become an outcast and fight injustice. Elphaba, who she had mourned so deeply ever since the fateful day when she had chosen, and so had her friend.
And Fiyero, he had let her continue to throw herself at him for how long having belonged to her friend instead? She had done everything to make him happy, tried everything she could think of without the least bit of gratitude in repayment. Nothing she did was enough. Where had she gone wrong? How could she help it if she wasn't as brave as Elphaba, or as smart, or as … green? It wasn't her fault that she hadn't been mistreated or discriminated against. Hadn't she always tried to make it better? Didn't she have anything to offer him? Wasn't it enough that she was pretty and goodly and beloved by everyone?
She felt so stupid for not seeing. Perhaps she didn't deserve him, but didn't she deserve some consideration? If he loved another, why hadn't he given her the dignity to tell her so? Though of course she would have fought him leaving her, she would at least have been prepared for this. If he had told her why he was unhappy, she would have found a way to fix it. She loved him, as much as her heart could hold.
He could have left and hurt her, but the jealousy she felt as he left with her friend was enough to consume her. She wanted to be the one Fiyero loved. She wanted to be the one Elphie trusted. She wanted to be the one brave enough to face the world. But she was not. Besides, she owed it to Oz. They needed her. Couldn't they see she was only doing what she thought was right, just as they were?
She felt so unfairly mistreated. There was nothing wrong with her. She had done everything right. Ask anyone, they would say so. Yet she had been rejected, betrayed, tossed aside as if she meant nothing to either of them. She was crushed under their boots as thoughtlessly as a bug.
Bitter and envious, she had lashed out in a moment of anger. She regretted the words as soon as she had spoken them. After all, she didn't really want Elphaba caught and killed. Goodliness was still stronger than spite in her, and she did love her friends however deep the injury they had caused to her might be. However, the damage was done. Perhaps as smart as Elphie was, she would find a way to evade the danger. She had Fiyero to protect her now. They would be okay. Her tears fell a little faster as she realized that if Elphie had Fiyero, she was really and truly alone.
She was crushed, and worse, she was alone. She had never really been alone. Even as Fiyero had withdrawn, he had still been there physically at least. She had had someone to talk to, to hold her, to tell her it would be alright, even if he didn't really mean it. Now she had no one. She shivered slightly at the thought. There was no one to notice.
Lonely, she had walked around the city for hours, feeling trapped by the silence in her own apartment, formerly their own apartment. She hugged herself as she walked, grateful no one cried out to her and that if they had recognized her, they kept their distance. She sang softly to herself words that she felt appear in the wind. "Don't wish, don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart." How true that was. She wished so deeply that she could go back to the way things were, when she had a friend and she had a love and she had a future. But it could never be. Fiyero had chosen another. "There's a girl I know. He loves her so. I'm not that girl." She had been weighed in the balances and found lacking. Tears falling, she saw even the stars were hiding their comfort tonight, covered by the clouds drawing in the sky. The wind had begun to whistle a little more ominously, and though she still felt unsettled, she returned to her empty house that had been a home mere hours ago to lament her fate in safety.
When the Wizard knocked on her door, she was surprised to say the least. Wiping her face made blotchy by crying, she invited him in not seeing any polite alternative. "I just came to make sure you were alright. You left in such a hurry, we were very worried."
She smiled a little, glad at least someone cared. She felt so alone, even such a casual comment made her feel wanted. "Could I get you something to drink? Tea or coffee…?"
He chuckled softly, "Even now thinking of others? Glinda, I'm so sorry. I know how devastated you must be."
She looked at him suspiciously, and disarmed by her misery, she didn't restrict her question, "Pardon me for being blunt, but why are you really here?"
Gesturing helplessly, he replied, "I'm just a sentimental man. I know you have suffered, and I know the only person who would really be there for you is the one who caused it. You are a good person, and you deserve to have someone to listen to you in your hour of need." Hearing all her thoughts repeated back to her through his words, she suddenly felt very foolish and stupid. Of course she was alone now, but she didn't feel as if she deserved anything from the Wizard of all people. "Besides," he added, "I can sympathize. Remember I was just attacked as well."
She felt the need to justify the actions of her former friends. "They were only trying to escape. Fiyero just did what he thought was best. They both did."
He nodded, disputing nothing. "Yet they left you behind. You must be very good to still be protecting them."
Her heart turned in on itself. She didn't feel goodly, she felt unwanted. At her face, he patted her arm gently. "It's ok. There's nothing you could have done better." How she longed to hear exactly those words from another's lips.
She was now very suspicious as to why he was here, and want exactly he wanted. She repeated her earlier question in that regard, to which he responded, "Really Glinda, in all your time here in the Emerald City have I ever been unkind to you? Have I ever mistreated you or anyone here? What have I done to deserve such doubt in my intentions?" At her pause while she considered his words, he pressed on, "In fact, I had offered Elphaba a chance at rehabilitation. She could have returned and this entire ordeal would have been over for us all. It is I who released the Monkeys tonight, when she convinced me that they would be alright on their own. I tried to end this, longing for everyone to have peace and safety again, but she wouldn't listen to my offer. I have never tried to harm her, and I think you can remember how I have only ever reached out to her, just as I have to you. So long as she terrorizes Oz to earn some misplaced revenge on me, I have to keep trying to find her only to stop her from hurting anyone. And tonight I offered her asylum and forgiveness, an end to all this, and I am attacked myself, and you, you who have been nothing but goodly, are betrayed. Yet is it my intentions you doubt?"
She was thoughtful. She had always loved Elphie, but the girl was so headstrong. She often mistook good intentions for prejudice or wickedness. Perhaps, just perhaps, Elphaba had been wrong. As she thought about it now, she had trouble pinning any of the blame on the Wizard. He had been very generous to them both, as he had said.
Misunderstanding her silence, he stood up, "I'm sorry to have bothered you dear. If I can be of any help to you, just let me know. I will not trouble you further, as I'm sure you would like to get some sleep."
She looked up dazed from her thoughts, barely having heard him. "No, no. I'm sorry. I've behaved…please. I'm sorry, you needn't go. You're right. You've been nothing but kind to us. I shouldn't have…"
He interrupted her kindly, his fingertip stilling her lips at his gentle touch. "No apology is necessary my dear. You have had your world turned upside down. It is only natural that you would be somewhat less than trusting at the moment." He rubbed his thumb lightly over her cheek, and she felt a sudden current of comfort run through her. Perhaps she wasn't as totally alone as she had believed. Someone still cared for her, at least a little. She felt an abrupt sense of loss as he removed his hand and walked to her door. "Come find me should you need anything. I am truly sorry for your unhappiness. A girl as sweet and pretty as you with such a good heart doesn't deserve anything but the best things in life. Goodnight dear. Sweet dreams."
More confused about her feelings now, she shut the door. The Wizard himself had comforted her, and she felt a certain allegiance to him especially after having been betrayed by the others. He had made such sense. Was Elphie doing all this out of a mistaken sense of injustice, fighting a useless war against a benevolent leader? Naturally the Wizard could not allow her to harm innocent people, so she would have forced his hand into capturing her. As far as the Animals and the declaration of Elphie as wicked, Madame Morrible had been responsible for both. The Wizard, so far as Glinda had observed, had truly only done his best to help encourage everyone. She could find no fault in him. That didn't explain the sudden comfort and thrill his hand had given her. Perhaps she was just so lonely that she sought asylum in any human touch. Surely that was the explanation. His kind words echoed in her ears as she locked the door and dressed for bed, and she was grateful for the lightened burden she felt now as she drifted off to sleep.
The next day Glinda the Good summoned all her bravery to face the world, and though she had to adjust her makeup every couple hours to hide the tearstains, she was able to continue to do her duty. When she learned of Nessa, she put aside her own problems and rushed to help. If only she had stopped those foolish words, but then, at least she could help stop them from catching Elphaba. Seeing poor Dorothy so lost and confused, she knew she had to help the little girl. Elphaba's rage would not be dissuaded by the girl's excuse, however innocent she was. The Wizard would protect the girl. He was far from perfect, but she did believe he was essentially good. Madame Morrible was the one who always plotted so ruthlessly toward any kind of power, and Glinda was certain the Wizard didn't direct those actions, having already acquired all the power he could want. He seemed to genuinely want to make Oz happy, and she could hardly fault him for maintaining a façade for the happiness of the public.
She took a deep breath, saying a quick prayer for the safety of the little girl and her dog before mourning the loss of her friend. Nessa was not just Elphie's sister. She had been a friend to Glinda, and one that she would miss now more than anything. Laying some flowers before the house, she whispered a silent benediction for the tragically beautiful girl.
Elphaba appeared, as Glinda knew she would, but she found herself unable to say anything to this traitorous friend. Elphaba's sarcasm only inspired her own defenses to rise, having not forgiven the betrayal yet. Even so, she had reached out to her former roommate in her grief, only to get slapped away figuratively and literally. How dare she throw Fiyero in her face like that! How dare she rub salt in Glinda's wound like she was the one who deserved it! Elphaba had deserved that slap, but Glinda didn't deserve the one aimed back. Then to be accused of trying to trap her, what another slap in the face that had been.
Fiyero holding her hostage was the breaking point. She believed him to be bluffing, but his tone to the guards was so serious, "I said let her go! Or explain to all Oz how the Wizard's guards watched while Glinda the Good was slain." She quivered as she pleaded with him. How could he who once was willing to marry her turn so completely against her that he would threaten to kill her? Doubt grew in her for a moment, but as soon as they convinced Elphie to flee, she realized it was truly only desperation.
She argued for him as the guards seized her love, wishing she could stop all this evil that had been set in motion. "In the name of goodness, stop! Don't you see? He wasn't going to harm me, he just... he just... he loves her." As she said it, admitted it out loud, she felt a weight lift and crush at the same time. It wasn't his fault that he loved Elphie. If she were honest, she would have chosen Elphaba herself in she had been in his place. She let him go, but she was left truly alone.
Fiyero's apology was enough to clean her heart completely of all the guilt, shame and bitterness. She forgave him completely, knowing her forgiveness could not save him. She begged for him, "No, don't hurt him! Please, don't hurt him! Fiyero!!!!" If only the Wizard were here, he could stop this. She had to find him. He would help her