8th April 08

Rating: T

03. Promise

The distant crashes and explosions echoed around the forest like distant thunder. Every time the grass shook and the leaves quivered, Sakura trembled a little, hoping that it was just her imagination that the sounds of warfare were drawing nearer.

Around fifty other Konoha ninja were crouched in the hidden trench alongside her, all of them as anxious and silent as her. Eventually the order would come to push forward and engage the enemy after the last wave had been crushed. It was very likely that everyone here would die today. Shikamaru had done the calculations and his findings had been so dismal that he'd refused to give the exact odds of their survival, reasoning that it would crush morale and drive down the odds even more.

Their job today was not to win and survive, it was simply to stall. They just needed time for Naruto's mission to work, but it was not unlike throwing down your body before a speeding train in order to slow it down. The cause was noble, considering that the fate of Konoha itself was on the line, but Sakura's knees felt like jelly and her stomach was cramped with butterflies. Holding a weapon was difficult when your fingers tingled with fear and your palms were drenched in cold sweat. Every time she heard someone speak nearby she flinched, terrified it was the order to move out. She had to keep reminding herself that the order would only come from the man listening at the radio further down the trench, and he hadn't moved in eighty minutes.

The squad leader passed by every now and then in his long, waterproof cloak, making sure everyone was ready and on their toes, occasionally stopping to console some of the younger, more inexperienced fighters. It made Sakura feel slightly ashamed. She'd been a chunin for many years and experienced more than most jonin in that time, but the unavoidable prospect of facing her own mortality was destroying her nerves.

The leader stopped in front of her, and Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, wishing he would just keep moving. However, she was beginning to hyperventilate a little. Her fear was obvious.

"You need to relax," he said, crouching down before her.

"We're going to die," Sakura said through gritted teeth.

"Yes," he admitted. "But you need to relax."

"Easy for you to say, Kaka-sensei," she snapped. "You're drunk. I can smell it all over you."

"Would you like some?"

"Yes…" she whispered. Why not? It would slow her reactions and kill her balance, but since she was going to die anyway, she'd rather go with nerves seduced by liquid courage.

Kakashi sat down next to her and produced an already half-drunken bottle of brown liquid. Not being much of a drink connoisseur, Sakura had no idea what it was, but it tasted vile and burned every inch of her oesophagus. It was just what she needed.

"I don't mind dying," she said to him as her insides softened. "I just don't want to do it quite so soon. I'm too young."

"People have died younger," he reasoned as she passed the bottle back to him.

"But I still have so much to live for," she murmured. "There's still so many things I haven't done. I wanted to get married, and have children, and live in a proper house, and keep a cat. I really wanted a cat. I thought I had all the time in the world for that stuff, so I never rushed it."

Kakashi nodded, tugging down his mask just enough to tip back another mouthful of liquor. "Never put off tomorrow what you can get done today, or else you'll be plagued with regret until you die – which means at least you won't be plagued for very long."

Sakura hugged her katana to her chest and stared morosely at the opposite wall of the trench. "I've never even had sex."

"It's not that great," he told her.

"I don't believe you."

"Alright… it's pretty awesome." He passed her back the bottle because she was beginning to look depressed again. "Finish it."

She picked at the torn foil around the bottle's neck. "I've never even kissed anyone," she said glumly. "How sad is that? I'm going to die tonight and I've never felt a man's mouth against mine."

"Yeah, that's pretty sad," Kakashi said thoughtfully, rubbing his lips. "But remedied easily enough."

She turned her head to him to ask him what he meant, and he chose that moment to list over and press an alcohol soaked kiss to her mouth. Sakura didn't move, but for a moment she forgot her despondency as she wondered at how soft and warm his lips felt against hers, and not nearly anything like she'd imagined. It was short and chaste, but a little moist, and when he moved back, she pressed her fingers to her mouth in awe.

"Will that do?" he asked.

"Why did you do that?" she whispered, amazed.

"Oh, please. You were angling for it."

Sakura only drained the last of the liquor and then gasped into the night air as she struggled to draw air into her burning throat. "Did I mention that I've never had sex?" she wheezed.

"If only there was time," he said, looking around the trench. "And I think people might start getting jealous, and then I'd have to have sex with everyone."

"Ok." She'd only been teasing, but now she felt infinitely better than she had a moment before. She was still shivering and scared to death, but Kakashi had made her smile.

Kakashi sighed and reached out a muddy hand to squeeze her shoulder and give her cheek the smallest of strokes with the back of his finger. "Tell you what though," he said. "If we get through this alive, I'll personally marry you and do all that other crap too."

Now Sakura laughed. "You're just saying that because you know we'll die."

"No, I'm saying it because I'm drunk."

"Then I'll hold you to it."

A few minutes later, the communications agent stirred from his position next to the radio and gave the grim news that it was time to press forward. Everyone stood with silent resolve and together climbed out of the trench to slip away into the dark forest where they would meet the enemy at last.

Sakura awoke in hospital two weeks later with a broken leg and a bruised head. She'd been one of the lucky ones, they said. The mission had been a success and Konoha had been saved. The sacrifice of all those men and women had not been in vain.

But all Sakura cared to know was Kakashi's fate. Had he made it? Was he alive? Was he injured? Was he lying in one of the mass graves being eaten by worms and bacteria beside scores of other bodies?

The nurses didn't know. "No Hatake Kakashi has been admitted to this hospital, miss," they told her, and from their tone, Sakura could only assume the worst. She lay in her hospital bed for the rest of the day, tears leaking slowly down her temples and not feeling nearly so glad to have survived anymore. The last thing she could really remember was that kiss he had given her, and that stupid promise he made to do all those stupid things with her that she regretted not being able to do.

When the door slid open, she hastily wiped at her tears, not wanting the nurses to see her in such a state. But when she glanced over to identify her visitor, a sob caught in Sakura's throat and her tears ran afresh.

"I heard you finally woke up," Kakashi said as he pulled a chair closer to her bedside. "I'm glad."

Sakura gave a wobbly smile through her tears. "You're alright?" There wasn't even a mark on him.

"I'm quite proficient at drunken fist fu," he said with all apparent seriousness. Sakura wasn't sure if he was joking or if that was really how he'd made it through that horrible night without so much as a scratch. She examined his form, but the only difference in his appearance was that perhaps his jacket was a little lumpy. And squirming a little too. But perhaps that was just the tears distorting her vision?

"Sakura," he began carefully. "You know that promise I made you?"

She nodded. "It's ok. I know you only made it because you were drunk and I was dead meat, so I won't hold you to it or anything-"

Kakashi held up his finger in a command to wait a moment while his other hand began to unzip his vest. To her astonishment, a small, furry ginger head popped out to mew at Sakura. "I had to smuggle him in," he said, lifting the tiny kitten onto an already love-struck Sakura's chest. It was no bigger than his hand. "Do you like him?"

"He's beautiful!" Sakura gasped, scratching her finger lightly behind one enormous pink ear.

"I can always keep my promises. Just… one step at a time, ok?"