Learning to feel emotions by himself seems to get harder by the passing day. He reacts on impulse or what ever Sakura tells him to do. He continues to ask me if I have a penis and it's starting to piss me off. I'm starting to wonder if he even has one. I don't know Sai's background and I really don't want to. Maybe he has aspergers? Well anyway, he doesn't understand when people are annoyed. It's like he doesn't understand how other people are feeling, either that or he doesn't care how people might react to what he says.

We've been in the woods for sometime now. I think it's because Tsunade is trying to hide me from Akatsuki, but although I am not willing to say it out loud, I know they'll find us. I'm not going to doubt our team, I mean I've never seen Yamato fight before, but he must be good if Tsunade picked him. I can only hope that Sai is a skilled fighter, I've faced him briefly before when he got on my nerves and I kicked the shit out of him, but he does put up a good fight.

I hate to admit it, but in some way, he reminds me of Sasuke. They both have horrible social skills. Yesterday he told us that he is much better than people like Sasuke, and I'm starting to believe him. Although most of the time I want to put him in a headlock and punch him until I break his nose, other times I find Sai…quite attractive.

"Naruto! What are you writing?!" Sakura must have snuck up on me, but I jumped when she screamed my name in my ear.

"N-nothing, er…Go away." I closed my diary and tried to put it away. Sakura tore it out of my hands and opened it. "Sakura, give it back, it's not funny!" I tried to rip it out of her hands, but damn she's fast.

Sakura cleared her throat, trying to get Sai's attention, but to no one's surprise he didn't turn. "Hey Sai, Naruto's been writing about you!" That got his attention. He stood and walked over to Sakura. She offered the diary to him.

"He must be a girl if he has a diary." Sai said as he smiled. He took the book out of Sakura's hands and began to read out loud. I jumped up and acting on impulse I punched Sai on the side of his face. "You even hit like a girl." That same stupid smile. Why did I write that I find him attractive? I mean I won't lie, he is some serious eye candy, but why did I write that? I know that Sakura's been reading my diary. Maybe I secretly hoped that she would read it and tell Sai…so why do I care so much?

"You know what? You can read it, I don't care. All it says is that I think you're hot." I said as I leaned against a tree. My arms were crossed and I looked up the stars, stealing glances at Sai. His smile was ripped from his face and was replaced with a look of pure shock. So he could feel something after all. He shook his head and the smile returned.

"I knew it; you really don't have a dick."

"You really are thick." Sakura rolled her eyes, "Sai, he likes you. He's a male and so are you…I hope…that means he's queer."

"Yes, you are strange."

"No…He's ga…I mean Homosexual."

"I am not. Just because I find another male attractive doesn't mean I can't like girls." I defended.

"Oh, so you're bisexual?" Sai laughed.

I didn't know what to say at that. Maybe I was gay. I mean I've never really liked a girl before…other than Sakura, but she's not really that girly. "Whatever, I'm going to sleep." I rolled my eyes and ducked into the tent that I shared with Sai. I knew that when he finally did retire, he would stay up the whole night laughing and cracking jokes about me. I striped down to my boxers, rolled over in my sleeping bag, and fell asleep in seconds.

When Sai entered the tent I woke up, but didn't move, I just waited for him to say something. I felt him lie down next to me and heard him unzip something. Coldness swept over my back and I realized he opened my sleeping bag. Instinct took over me and I shifted over to make room for him. He didn't seem to notice. I felt his body against my own, his stomach felt good against my back.

"Naruto?" He whispered in my ear.

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm homosexual too." All I felt was his cold hands slip into my boxers. My eyes widened. "So you do have a penis after all." I knew he was smiling as he gripped my erection in his hands.

I let a moan slip passed my lips. His hands were freezing; it was like taking a cold shower during winter. Or jumping in the snow naked, which I had done only once when I was drunk. "Sai" I moaned.

He pulled his hands out of my boxers, "Hmm?" I rolled over and looked at him, his paleness shining through the darkness. Half of his face was hidden in my black pillow, the contrast was truly amazing. My hand touched his face and I smiled.

I felt his lips press against mine. He rolled on top of me and pinned me down. I wasn't objecting, so it must have been to hold himself up. Well anyway, one hand was on the left side of my head and the other on the right side of my face. His knees were pinning me on either side of my hips. His black boxers were pressing against my orange ones.

He parted my lips gently with his tongue and began to kiss me. As a teenager, I do really hate to admit this, but that was my first kiss.

"Does this feel good for you too?" He asked lingering over my face.

"Yes." I found myself smiling at Sai.

"I think I love you." He said with a furrowed brow. My smile vanished. I couldn't answer him because in truth I don't think I did in fact love him. "You're silence is confusing me."

"I'm confusing myself." Then it dawned on me, "I love you too."