What's Wrong With The Brat
Summary: Touya and Kero find companionship in each other while they speculate Syaoran's many faults.
Disclaimer: Why, pray, would I be writing CCS fanfiction if I owned CCS?
Notes: I might be clinically insane, but we'll never know, because I won't let the doctors close enough to diagnose anything... Oh, and by the way, Touya and Kero have apparently recently met when this takes place.
Touya growled softly as a furiously blushing fourteen-year-old Syaoran led Sakura out the door for a date, Sakura chiding him quietly for still being embarrassed and nervous when they'd been going out for a year ( she was 'still the same person as yesterday').
"So you don't like the kid either, I've noticed."
Touya turned around to see Kero hovering behind him, watching Syaoran darkly. "Isn't he the descendant of the guy who created you?"
"Just because he's descended from Clow Reed doesn't make me trust him any more."
Touya sighed and walked into the living room, still talking, Kero following. "He makes me... I dunno. I just don't trust him. Actually, I don't trust anyone who takes off with Sakura, but that brat really bugs me." He sat down on the sofa and propped his feet up on the coffee table.
Kero landed on Touya's socked toes. "Not to mention he doesn't show any particular respect for his girlfriend's Guardian." The world 'girlfriend' made both of them scowl.
"Nor for his girlfriend's older brother. And, he's just plain annoying sometimes."
"No kidding. Y'know, we switched bodies once. It was horrible." (A/N: Here I refer to an episode of the North American version of the anime. I apologise if it's not in the manga, my library only has the books that come after all of the cards are captured.)
Sympathy flashed across Touya's face. "I feel for you, little guy. That kid is awful."
"I know-" Kero paused. "I'm hungry. You?"
"Yeah. Let's go see what's in the fridge." They moved to the kitchen.
Upon the sight of the contents of the refrigerator, Kero's eyes sparkled. "So much cake..." he sighed. "I think I'm in heaven!"
Touya grinned, removing one of the cakes from a shelf. "That's what happens when dad goes on a business trip." He cut a generous slice for each of them, and they sat at or on the table respectively and continued their previous conversation as they enjoyed their cake.
"And you know, once Sakura invited him with us to a festival, and she made me pay for his food and drinks. I mean, I pay for my stuff, and Yukito's my best friend, and Sakura's my sister, and I can even survive paying for Daidouji-chan. But really, paying for that punk? It was sincerely painful."
"Yeah, I believe you. That brat is really insufferable..."
"...And we have absolutely no way of knowing what he might be up to with Sakura." Touya realized suddenly. But Kero smirked.
"Actually, that is one of the things we CAN know." Touya regarded him questioning, and Kero smiled even more widely. "Tomoyo follows them on every single date with her video camera. Without them knowing, of course."
Touya couldn't help himself, he laughed aloud. "That is so typical of her."
Kero's grin vanished suddenly. "We might have to steal the tapes, though. What we don't like will probably be 'kawaii' in her eyes, so she wouldn't be warning us about it..."
"Too true," Touya agreed with a nod. "I think, though, that I'll prepare myself beforehand. I'm gonna go digging in my closet. See if I can find my old baseball bats, or something to that effect."
"Good old traditional approach. I wish I could wield something more substantial than a wooden club though."
"Oh, don't worry, I have a wooden bat and a metal one. But aside from that, couldn't you use magic against him?"
Kero sighed. "I would, believe me. But he's a pretty strong magician; he'd probably feel it coming and put up shields."
"Hmm. Well, if you need any help, I think I have a box or two of old sports gear in the garage that we could look through." Touya offered, leaning back in his chair.
Kero laid down on the table and propped his head up on his elbow. "If I don't find anything better, I'll take you up on that offer. Although, worst comes to worst, I could always maul him in my full form as Keroberos..." (A/N: I think in the manga they called him Cerberus, but personally, I like Keroberos (from the anime) better)
Touya grinned viciously. "Make sure I'm around. I want to see that... And, it should keep him away from Sakura, at least for a good long while."
Kero laughed. "Y'know, I wonder why Sakura likes him so much anyway. I never got that part." He confessed, sitting up again.
Touya looked suddenly concerned. "Do you think he could have used magic? A spell, or something?"
Kero crossed his arms and shook his head. "Nah, I would've felt it. Plus, spells that affect emotion are extremely difficult. They take loads of strength, along with complicated incantations and rare cards, scrolls or papers. Li is a strong magician, but not that strong. Not even his mother his mother could perform one without putting her own life in great danger. I mean, you never had a lot of magic to begin with, but surely even you could tell how powerful she was?"
Touya nodded. "Yes, I did," he admitted, "but then if it wasn't magic, what WAS it that made her fall in love with him? Could Hiirigizawa have something to do with it? I mean, his magic is very similar to Sakura's, maybe you wouldn't have noticed it."
"No. He may be Clow Reed reincarnated, but I don't think he could – or would – do it. Granted, you have a point, what else could it be?"
There was a brief silence during which Touya and Kero contemplated the possible answers to their question.
Kero broke the silence. "You don't think... You don't think those feelings could be natural or something? Or fate or destiny or some other weird thing like that?"
Touya looked shocked. "But that would..."
"...make it almost..." Kero continued.
"...worth leaving them be..." Touya finished.
There was another period of silence, longer this time.
"NAHHHH," They said simultaneously. They happily continued to describe Syaoran's faults all evening.
END
Hwaahh, that was fun. Don't ask what my inspiration was, 'cause I don't know. I felt like writing a 1000-word fic, though, and if you check, the story –excluding 'end' and the top and bottom notes etcetera – is exactly 1000 words. Oh, and, please review. Nice reviewers get cookies (or something else if they don't like cookies) and flamers get burnt-black meatloaf toast crusts with horseradish and hot sauce on them. If I made any kind of mistake anywhere, don't hesitate to point it out, please.