Disclaimer: This may come as a shock to you, but I don't own NCIS or any of its characters. I do have a cold. Do you own colds?

Rating Converted to a Rating System That Makes Sense (Australian): PG-ish, which apparently doesn't just stand for Press Gang…

AN: Okay; I'm on a roll!

You will note that not only is it Pre-Twilight (or it could be AU, if you like), but it doesn't even mention death! Oh, wait, second line. Well, it only mentions it once! Or is it twice?

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'Maybe he's sick.' Abby said to Kate and McGee as they huddled around Kate's desk, glancing every now and then at Tony who was at his desk working.

'Maybe he's dying.' McGee said

'Nah,' Abby said 'he'd tell us if he was, wouldn't he?' Kate shrugged.

'One of us should talk to him.' Kate said

'Which one?' McGee asked

'Rock, Paper, Scissors?' Abby suggested

'Play-offs or best of three?' McGee asked

'What do you mean?' Abby asked

'Well, if we play and there's one winner and two losers do the two losers play against each other or do-,'

'Oh, forget it,' Kate said, interrupting and rolling her eyes 'I'll do it.' From the look McGee and Abby were sharing Kate had a feeling she had just fallen for something. Kate sighed and walked over to Tony.

'Hey, Tony?' Kate asked, leaning against the side of his desk.

'Yes Kate?' Tony stopped typing and looked to Kate

'Are you okay?' Kate asked

'Yes, I'm fine.' Tony said, slightly confused.

'Are you sure?' Kate asked 'Not feeling sick or anything?'

'No, I'm pretty sure I'm fine.' Tony replied 'Why wouldn't I be?'

'One,' Kate said, holding up a finger 'you haven't made a sexist remark all day, two,' she put up another finger 'you haven't hit on anyone, despite the fact that Jodi from accounting has visited three times, and three,' Kate added a third finger 'you're working and Gibbs isn't around. What gives?' Tony shrugged. 'Oh, come on; there's got to be a reason you're acting so weird.'

'If you must know; yesterday you said, and I quote, "I wish you'd stop being a sexist jerk and get to work" so I am.' Tony said

'Oh, please,' Kate said rolling her eyes 'you never do anything I ask.'

'Sure I do.' Tony replied

'When have you ever done anything because I've asked you to?' Kate asked

'Yesterday you said you wished I would stop being a sexist jerk and I have.' Tony said

'Besides from that.' Kate said

'Once, when we were driving you asked me to turn the music down and I did.' Tony answered

'Only because I threatened to castrate you.' Kate replied

'I still did it, didn't I?' Tony said

'Oh!' Kate exclaimed 'I get it now.'

'You do?' Tony asked

'Yes; you're doing this just to annoy me,' Kate said 'like how you keep unplugging my mouse. By tomorrow morning you'll be back to your annoying self.'

'You think so?' Tony asked

'No, I know so.' Kate replied

'Well, that's all very nice, but I can't talk now; I have work to do.' Tony turned his attention back to his computer and Kate went back to her desk.

'At least he isn't dying.' Abby said with a shrug.

Three days later, however, Tony was still his new annoying self.

'Four days, Abby!' Kate exclaimed to Abby. They were seated at Abby's desk, Kate having gone there to escape Tony.

'I take it you don't like New Tony?' Abby asked

'He's such a goody-two shoe suck up. Yesterday I asked him if he'd seen any good movies and he told me that he didn't have time to talk. He's become more McGee-like than McGee is.' Kate said

'If it bothers you this much why don't you talk to him?' Abby asked

'Because if I let him know how much he's annoying me he'll win.' Kate said with a sigh.

'But you want Old Tony back?' Abby asked

'No! Yes… Maybe.' Kate sighed again 'This is really annoying.'

'I know.' Abby said and patted Kate's arm reassuringly. Tony chose that moment to walk in.

'Hey Abby,' Tony said 'Gibbs wants to know if-,'

'I told him five minutes ago it would be at least another two hours!' Abby exclaimed

'You've got a red pen he can use.' Tony finished

'Oh' Abby said 'sure, somewhere around here.' Abby began to look for the red pen that she had seen on her desk a couple of days before. 'Why does he want one, anyway?' Abby found the red pen under a pile of paperwork that she was trying to ignore.

'You'd have to ask him that.' Tony said. Although he was talking to Abby his eyes were locked with Kate's.

'Okay then, I will.' Abby said and quickly exited the room with the red pen.

'I should-.' Tony said

'Get back to work, I know.' Kate finished for him. Instead of leaving like she expected him to do, Tony sat in the chair that Abby had just left.

'Are you okay?' Tony asked

'Just answer me one question, Tony; why? And don't give me some crap about you doing what I asked because you've never ever done anything I've ever asked you to do before.' Kate said in one rushed breath

'There's a first time for everything.' Tony said

'Tony!' Kate exclaimed

'Do you know you insult me an average of fives times a day?' Tony asked

'I do?' Kate asked 'Wait, how do you know that?'

'I've been counting.' Tony replied

'You've been counting how many times I insult you?'

'Yep.' He replied

'Why?' Kate asked

'I was curious.' Tony said with a shrug 'That means that even if we only spend fives days a week together you insult me twenty-five times a week. That's a hundred times a month.'

'Which is over a thousand a year.' Kate added

'Exactly.' Tony said

'And that would hurt anyone, even you.' Kate said

'Theoretically, yes.' Tony said

'I still don't get why you're doing this; are you trying to tell me to be careful of what I wish for?' Kate asked

'Actually, I was just going to try not to make as many sexist remarks or flirt, well, at least not around you, but then you called me on it and my competitiveness kicked in.' Tony said

'And you wanted to see how much of an annoying suck up you'd have to be before I begged for mercy.' Kate said

'Pretty much, yeah.' Tony said

'There's still something I don't get.' Kate said 'Why would you suddenly decide to do what I asked?'

'Well, Kate,' Tony said 'this might be a shock for you, but despite the fact the insult me over a thousand times a year, and the fact that you can be very annoying at times, you're still the person I work the most with, and sometimes I almost like you.'

'So let me get this right,' Kate said slowly 'you try to do a nice thing, but instead turn into the most annoying person on the planet?'

'What, even more annoying than I normally am?' Tony asked

'Tony,' Kate said 'this may come as a surprise to you, but despite the fact you give me good reason to insult you over a thousand times a year, you do make me laugh, and sometimes I almost like you too.'

'Does this mean I can go back to the way I was?' Tony asked

'How about you try and cut down on the sexists remarks and flirting and I'll try and only insult you three times a day?' Kate asked

'Woah,' Tony said 'don't go overboard. At least try for four first.'

'Okay, deal.' Kate said

'I should, uh, probably be getting back.' Tony said

'Same,' Kate said, and they both scrambled off their chairs.

'Should we hug or something?' Tony asked

'It does seem like an appropriate moment.' Kate agreed

'Handshake?' Tony asked

'Sure,' Kate said, shaking Tony's hand 'oh, what the hell,' Kate added and quickly embraced Tony 'but that never happened.'

'What never happened?' Tony asked

'Right,' Kate said

'You know what, Kate?' Tony asked as they left Abby's lab, but he didn't wait for an answer 'I feel like we've achieved something really good here.'

'Yeah,' Kate agreed 'like we might have changed the whole course of our relationship by one conversation.'

'Yeah,' Tony agreed as they got on the elevator. 'That was possibly the lamest thing either of us has ever said, isn't it?'

'Oh, definitely.' Kate agreed 'Hey, Tony?'

'Yes?'

'Why the hell would Gibbs want to borrow a red pen from Abby?!'

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AN: Maybe he wanted to write an angry note to someone. Well, there we go. Review? Please?