A/N: Hey, guys...sorry once again for the super late update. I haven't really been in much of a writing mood lately. Though now that we're celebrating Christmas and New Years, I get really festive and full of ideas during months like this. I present you with a super long chapter as usual with plenty of IchiRuki romance. Happy Belated Christmas!

Song Recommendation: Whatever It Takes by LifeHouse

Tangled Heartstrings

Chapter 17: The Shattered

Sachiko fingered the flowers pressed into her book of flowers. It had been her Aunt Orihime who had told her that flowers will be pretty and last forever if they're tucked into books. There were moments when Sachiko was alone that she wished she could be like her pressed flowers....to have the ability to last forever. That feeling she had gnawed at her gut since the time when one of her flowers had turned to ashes.

She had overheard her mom and Renji talking that same night about it being a horrible omen. Normally after overhearing an adult's conversation, natural instinct would be to share it with another kid but she had not even bothered telling her brother. It used to eat at her insides to have to lie to anyone, but over time it seems that Ichi's bad habit had rubbed off on her.

In a way, it had seemed as though she had been resigned to whatever awaited her and had chosen to isolate herself. Ichi, Minoru and Takeshi were watching a movie in the living room while she went through all of her books, especially her Aunt Orihime's flower book. She circled a Sweet Pea, hoping that the next time she received one it would be from someone she really loved. On the inside, she wished she would be able to meet him someday.

This flower book had to be her most prized possession with some her own commentary about each flower. On the last page like most books was a blank page where she had already listed the many things she wanted to do with her family and friends. Even if they didn't happen in order, she hoped that the beauty of her dreams were strong enough to become real someday.

Five Things I Wish For

1.) I want to be amazing at my Swan Lake recital.

2.) I wish me and Ichi get to watch that mahou anime movie we've been waiting for.

3.) I want to learn how to wiggle my ears.

4.) I wish I knew what it was like to fly.

5.) I want to meet my real father.

Sachiko jolted upright at the sound of the door knob jiggling open and promptly closed the book shut. Ichi sauntered in with a half piece of pizza hanging from his mouth. He was mumbling words that Sachiko couldn't identify with. He swallowed quickly and stuck the piece out of his mouth, wiping sauce from his chin as he did so.

"I'm saying that the pizza's here. What're you doing here all by your lonerness?" Ichi asked. "You're started to act more and more like Takeshi, ya know that?"

"You really don't give Takeshi enough credit, Ichi," Sachiko replied with an irritated sigh. She threw her legs off the bed and just as she passed Ichi, she felt him flip her skirt. She turned beat red and shrieked as both of her hands flew to keep the hem of her skirt down. "What's the matter with you?! No- what's wrong with me?! I've really gotta stop wearing skirts around you!"

Ichi snorted. "Why're you so defensive when it comes to Takeshi? Still got a crush on that loser or what?"

"Or what?" Sachiko said flippantly, kneeling down in front of her toy chest. She tucked her book under many folds of blankets and toys.

"Y-you do?!"

Sachiko giggled. "I'm kidding, Ichi. I've...umm outgrown my childish phase as you would put it." She shrugged. "It was just puppy love I guess. He's still my favorite non-blood cousin, though. Maybe someday I'll be ready for the real thing."

Ichi's eyes widened as Sachiko walked out of their room. She seemed like a whole different person all of a sudden...and it might just be him but he thought he saw sorrow swirling around in her lilac depths. Now he was scaring himself- he was starting to sound like a poet! Something really must've been wrong with Sachiko. Why she couldn't confide in him was beyond him. They were twins so naturally, they telepathically bonded but lately, it felt like Sachiko was keeping a barrier around her mind. From now on Ichi had to keep a close watch on her.

Chewing the inside of his mouth, Ichi mooched toward the living room in time to see Sachiko piling four pizzas onto her paper plate. There didn't seem to be any room for her on the couch but she looked perfectly content with her food now that she was absorbed with watching t.v. He stood on the sidelines observing her unladylike posture. One knee was drawn up to her chin while one arm was laid against her thigh. Ichi raised an eyebrow at this, he wasn't sure what to make of it. A moment later, Takeshi and Minoru seemed to notice his silence.

"Ichi, aren't you gonna sit back down?" Minoru asked. He paused as he looked over Ichi's green face. "You okay?"

"...I'm fine."

Ichi sat next to Minoru with a pout.

"So what I miss?"

"Not much." Minoru shrugged. "The beginning is kind of slow. Takeshi was the one who insisted we rent it last week."

Takeshi stretched out, letting his legs fall over Ichi and Minoru's laps. This was the moody guy who slept for hours on end but was also a very convenient babysitter. He insisted on working for free since he had nothing but free time as a paper boy.

"It's anime, ain't it?"

Minoru scratched his cheek. "Well, yeah...

"Then shut your cake hole, Irene."

Seemed that Sachiko wasn't the only one that was having severe ramifications. Takeshi had also recently been more talkative, even a bit sarcastic. What was going on with them? Ichi feared the worst...that they were more becoming more grown up than him.

"I miss Yayoi."

All three of them stared down at the happy girl eating her pizza. Well, that was random and completely out of no where.

Sachiko turned to Takeshi was a bright grin. "How's it going for you guys, by the way?"

"Huh?" Takeshi gave her a blank look. "How's what going? There's nothing going on between me and that damn cat. I'm not having a flat-chested bride!"

"F-flat-chested?" Sachiko gaped at him, her cheeks flushing. "But don't you find her cute at all? I wish I had hair like hers or those beautiful gold eyes."

"I don't have time for girls," Takeshi said, purposely evading the question. "Besides...she's annoying. She's always in your face, doing unwanted favors and would it kill her to appear in front of me, especially you guys in- oh, I don't know, clothes?!"

"You know, Takeshi, you may complain about Yayoi but you sure talk about her a lot," Minoru commented cheekily.

Takeshi punched his shoulder. "Don't be an idiot."

"Are these clothes suitable for me?"

Yayoi appeared from the kitchen doorway wearing a large black shirt that was made to resemble a dress. The sleeves hung limply and revealed her bare shoulder where they were made into bow-like knots with a brown leather belt tied around her waist. She twirled around so that the skirts would fly like an upside down tulip. She was wearing silver flats with buckles on them. Where on earth did she get those from?

"You'd be surprised what people throw out these days." Yayoi pressed a dainty hand to her heart, her cheeks turning a hectic pink. "How is it, Takeshi?"

Takeshi snorted. "I'm not even gonna answer that."

"Well, that's rude," Yayoi huffed. "I may have gotten it out of the dumpster but that doesn't mean my hard work went to waste." She bit her lower lip in worry. "Mother said she thought it was lovely..."

"You piss me off. I want you in clothes, NORMAL clothes....Guess it can't be helped." Takeshi ran a hand through his tousled locks of red hair and sighed.

Yayoi's saddened expression brightened up when she saw pizza on the coffee table. She plopped herself down beside Sachiko and helped herself to a rather large slice of pizza. She licked each finger to perfection, peering at Sachiko over them with her mysterious topaz-colored eyes. Smiling sweetly, she opened her arms as an invitation for an embrace. Sachiko didn't hesitate to climb onto her lap, and wrap her arms around Yayoi's slim waist.

Yayoi smiled as she petted Sachiko's raven hair, playing with the ends of her silky tendrils. "I trust you and Ichi have been safe. I can't be with you two all the time so I can't help but worry." At Ichi's visible discomfort, she placed the back of her hand against her mouth to smother her chuckles. "Out with it, Ichi. I know Sachiko wears the Hougoukyou shard I gave her around her neck. You had better be wearing yours too."

"Lay off," Ichi grumbled, turning away to stare at the t.v. "...I don't need you to protect me and my sister."

"Show me your shard," Yayoi said sternly.

Ichi glanced warily at her before letting out a disgruntled sigh. "I don't exactly have it anymore."

"You what?!" Yayoi cried out. "Do you know what I went through to get those?!"

"I'm sorry." Ichi for once actually sounded like he meant it. "I keep it under my pillow every night but a few nights ago, it disappeared.

Yayoi suddenly felt her blood run cold as she thought of the possibility that maybe....the Arrancar and Aizen were back. If so, then without a shard, she wouldn't be able to protect Ichi. As she bit her fingernails raw, an idea suddenly came to her. She whirled around to face Sachiko so fast, her blond hair whipped the young girl's face.

"Sachiko! You still have yours right? Maybe we can split it in half so that Ichi can have a shard too."

"Umm...actually, my shard sort of fused together with the ring Ichigo gave me," Sachiko explained, holding up the once ruby ring that clung to a thin, gold chain around her neck. The colors had mixed together and been transformed into a pink gemstone.

Yayoi groaned, holding her head in her hands. "Mother is going to kill me." She sighed deeply. She paused for a long moment before a lightbulb suddenly clicked on over her head. "Listen up, Ichi, what we're going to do is-

She was cut off mid-sentence when the suddenly the sound of the door knob jiggling open caught her attention. All four kids swiveled their necks in the direction of the door. Yayoi stood up, frantically searching for a place to hide. Sachiko grabbed her wrist and made her stand beside the couch. She placed a lamp shade on top of her head. The boys sweat dropped at this. There was no one stupid enough to fall for that.

Yayoi quickly assumed the position by stretching her arms out like an airplane, hoping she was acting like a normal lamp would. The door opened to reveal a really miffed Rukia. Her look of utter hatred transitioned into a sweet smile upon seeing the kids. She undid the straps of her heels, tossed them up into the air and caught them in her arms. She shrugged out of her jacket and draped it over the lamp shade. Yayoi quickly smothered a sound of surprise in her throat. Rukia placed her hands on her hips as she examined the nervous smiles on the kids.

"Hey, kids. How was your night?"

"Ok, I guess." Ichi shrugged. "You're back early."

Rukia bristled. "Yes...well, the party was a waste of time. Thought I'd come back here and catch up on some sleep."

She started walking off when she heard Renji following close behind. The kids shrank back against the couch as they watched the steaming woman march to her room. The door slammed behind her and they all stared at each other in confusion.

"What's with her?" Takeshi asked Renji who was hot on Rukia's heels.

"I plan on finding out," Renji grumbled under his breath.

As soon as Renji entered Rukia's room, he slammed the door, causing her to jump. Renji turned to look at her, his eyes growing as wide as saucers when he saw Rukia's dress unzipped from the back and revealing her bare shoulders. Renji quickly whirled around and face the doorway, feeling his heart begin to race. The skin around his eyes crinkled as they narrowed, and he had to force his fists against his sides to restrain any inappropriate thought or action.

"Renji!" Rukia cried, scrambling behind the bed. "What are you still doing here?! Go home already!"

"Do you really think I would leave you alone when you're like this? Why're you so mad, anyway?"

"It's nothing..."

"It's not nothing! Is it because of Kyu-Ri?"

Rukia growled. "Renji, it's been a really shitty night and you're not making things better. I need to be alone for a while."

At this, Renji fell very silent and finally risked a glance back at her. She had just finished pulling on a large shirt over her body. Her glamorous dress had been tossed aside in a crumpled heap. Renji eyes softened at her broken appearance, and after a moment, he went to sit beside her on the bed. He scratched the back of his head as he pondered the right words to say or ask. Rukia's disappearance after the fashion show did not go unnoticed, same went with Ichigo. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. She had come in through the glass balcony door, looking utterly distressed and breakable. Her face had gone very pale and dazed.

"...Then if it's not Kyu-Ri...Rukia, did Ichigo do something to you?" Renji asked quietly.

Rukia glanced down at her feet. "I'll worry about it, Renji. He forced a kiss on me but it doesn't mean anything."

The composure that Renji had been trying to keep up broke with her words. Ichigo had gone and taken advantage of her. Whatever relationship Ichigo might have once had with Rukia....all ties had now been severed. At least that's what he had thought- no, what he had hoped. Renji frowned deeply as he stared at the floor.

"But he did something you didn't want to, right?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. I'm sorry, Renji," Rukia sighed. She crawled over to him, placing her hand on his cheek, slowly turning it so that their eyes were now locked on eachothers'. "I know you're just trying to help but tonight I did the most difficult thing I ever had to do. I'm still trying to catch my breath." She gave a shaky laugh as she said this and was about to retract her hand, when suddenly Renji lashed out and grabbed her wrist.

Renji squeezed it lightly, his long fingers traveling up the contours of Rukia's hand. He felt like he was trying to memorize every last detail. Her hand was so fucking tiny compared to his...compared to anyones', really. He entwined his fingers with Rukia's and held their hands up to eye level. A smile twitched on his lips as glimpses of their childhood suddenly flashed before his eyes. Memories swam in his vision of Rukia helping him and his comrades get away when the merchant had been chasing them and beating up a kid who had taken a younger kid's candy. Others involved Rukia laughing or holding her head up high despite all the rumors going around about her at the Soul Academy.

Before Rukia could think, Renji had wrapped his arms around her and had deposited her into his lap. He caressed the back of her head, his grip tightening on her. Rukia wrapped her arms around Renji's waist and buried her face into his chest. She closed her eyes as tears started to descend. She gave into Renji's warmth because it was all she could do rather than voice her distress. It only proved that Renji understood her better than anyone else. Only he could comfort her without having to say a word.

Time passed and the only thing to be heard in the stillness of the room was the t.v from the living room. After several moments, Rukia lifted her head up to gaze at Renji. He looked back down at her with an expression Rukia couldn't identify with. It was a mix of concern and something else...love, maybe? Rukia's eyes shot to his chest when she felt his unwavering gaze become a bit uncomfortable. She was suddenly painfully aware of his hands holding her possessively by the waist.

Orihime's voice came back into her head all of sudden. 'Rukia, he loves the way you walk, the way you talk, your hair- he loves everything about you. You just haven't realized it yet.' Rukia felt her cheeks heat up at the memory, feeling her chest tighten up with guilt. She had a slight suspicion about about how Renji felt but had never trusted her own judgement. She just couldn't give him what he wanted. Without a doubt, she was far from ready to be with another man now that Ichigo was out of her life. Someday Rukia would heal, though, and everything would fall into place. She would consider dating again when the right time came along. A part of her was frightened....that the day might possibly never come.

With so many thoughts swirling around in Rukia's head, she felt her fatigue closing in on her. Her head drooped forward and it was getting hard for her to keep her eyes open. Renji kissed the crown of Rukia's head softly before lifting her out of his lap. He laid her out on her bed, and draped the bunny-patterned comforter over her forlorn body. He left the room to deal with the heavy burden within his heart, leaving Rukia to face her own darkness.

"He kissed you?!"

Orihime leaned forward from across the coffee table, her gray eyes sparkling with excitement. Rukia nodded, blushing as she glanced down at her lap. She raised an eyebrow when she heard Orihime's peppy clapping and laughter.

"Well, that's wonderful isn't it?" Orihime grinned at her. "He's still in love with you, Rukia."

"You don't understand...I can't reciprocate his feelings. If I give in, I'll lose the ones I love the most."

There was a long moment of silence between them as Orihime poured them apple-cinnamon tea. Rukia watched the way her hands would move around, rather self-assured as she gracefully dipped the spout of the tea pot over her finest china. As she set each tea cup of steaming tea down on their separate coasters, she placed Rukia's gently in front of her and folded her hands in her lap.

Orihime was the perfect image of a house wife- except she was anything but a house wife. She enjoyed her work at the high school and cooking up those weird concoctions of foods and perfume. Her perfumes were actually selling pretty good despite her odd habit of mixing. Sometimes Rukia honestly wished she could live life the way Orihime always did.

"You can fight it," Orihime murmured. "Your fates aren't set in stone. As long as you never give up on him, he'll never give up on you."

Rukia's eyes widened at her words. "....I-I wish it were that simple. The nature of this prophecy was all due to the previous shinigami and human who broke the rules. Their love fell on us and now Ichigo and I must constantly run from each other."

"That's why you have us, Rukia. We'll be fighting right by your side."

It made Rukia warm at the thought. They were all such good friends though naive.

"Who knows? I guess I am a bit sad at being resigned to this fate."

Orihime watched Rukia sip her tea for a moment before a light bulb seemed to ignite overhead. She raised a finger for Rukia to wait for just a minute. She scrambled to get up and all but sprinted down the hall to her room. She came back holding a a small, pearly-white flower-shaped perfume bottle. Her grin could put the sun to shame. She placed it in front of Rukia, looking quite pleased with herself.

"Everyone has a certain scent to them, right? I was working on a good combo perfume for you and that's when I discovered this," Orihime said, gesturing at the bottle. "White tea and lily. I think it describes you perfectly. Happy Birthday, Rukia. Now's not the time for sad faces. In time, everything will unfold and work out on its own."

"Th-thank you." A lovely shade of scarlet glowed on Rukia's cheeks. She sprayed twice on her wrist and rubbed at it with her index-finger. The scent that hit her like a ton of bricks was heavenly. "It smells wonderful, Orihime. Thank you so much."

Rukia walked around the table and enveloped Orihime in a tight embrace. She really needed one right now. The gentle, warm arms of her friend surrounded her, and Rukia was grateful to know what it was like to be hugged by a maternal being. She truly had a mother's real hug. Orihime's hands smoothed over her back once, twice and finally pulled apart away to smile down at her.

Rukia laid her head down on her lap, laughing internally at herself for feeling like such a spoiled kid. She stiffened at the sudden vibration at her side and slipped her hand into her pocket. She glanced down at the caller ID of her cell phone and shoved it across the table at Orihime. She grabbed at it in a panic, almost letting it escape and fall off the table. She glanced down at the cell phone's small screen, a wide smile gracing her lips.

"It's Kurosaki! Rukia, you must pick up!"

"Not after what he did!"

"You must!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Orihime let out a disgruntled sigh before flipping open the cell phone and pressed it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Orihime!" Rukia hissed.

"Orihime?"

"Yuzu! How are you?!" Orihime exclaimed, clasping the cellphone with both hands.

Rukia could feel her body sag in relief knowing Ichigo hadn't tried to call her. She rested her head against the couch and closed her weary eyes.

"I didn't get to talk to you much last time. It's been forever. I hope we get to spend more time preparing for the wedding. Are you going to wish Rukia a happy birthday! Wonderful! Here she is!"

Rukia pressed the cell phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Happy Birthday, Rukia!" Yuzu cheered. "I'm so happy to hear from you again. You looked so distraught at the Black and White Affair. Was anything the matter?"

The Kuchiki girl scratched the back of her head. "Thanks, just another year older I guess." She laughed lightly. "Umm...well, I just wasn't feeling very well at the time. Nothing to worry about, really."

"Oh, well I'm glad it was nothing serious. Karin also sends her apologies, thinking she had caused you misfortune."

"No, tell her to think nothing of it. It wasn't her fault."

Yuzu paused. "Rukia, there's another Kurosaki who would like to wish you a happy birthday."

'Isshin Kurosaki,' Rukia immediately thought in amusement.

"Hello, Rukia."

Rukia's body visibly stiffened up at the sound of the new yet familiar voice. She had to grab the cell phone with both hands to keep it from slipping from her grip. Orihime watched curiously as many emotions drifted over Rukia's face at once. Rukia seemed to have forgotten how to breath, but was clinging onto the voice on the other end like a life line.

"What do you want?" Rukia managed to croak out.

"Must you really ask?"

Rukia closed her eyes tightly. "I want nothing more to do with you, Ichigo. I've said my peace....leave me be."

"...I can't. I wanna see you." Ichigo hesitated for a moment. "I know it's selfish and I'm acting like such a kid but I want a second chance at us. I need you to meet me somewhere so we can discuss this."

"There was never an us," Rukia said, cruelly. She felt the words squeeze her heart painfully but there no way around leaving without hurting him in the process.

"Bull! Don't ever say that! You can lie with your lips but not with your eyes!" Ichigo groaned. "And god, do I want to taste your lips again. I don't know how I went six years without them...without you."

Rukia blushed at his words. Why her? Why did he have to choose her? It had taken all of her strength to give him back the life she had stolen from him. She didn't have the heart to say goodbye to him again so why was he being so difficult? Rukia hung her head low, and bit her lips guiltily.

"You can find someone else," Rukia whispered. "You can start all over again...with someone else."

"I don't want anyone but you." Ichigo sighed. "Come see me, Rukia. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. If you don't come meet me, I swear to God, I'll come looking for you."

"Oh, is threatening a way of declaring one's love now?" Rukia asked snidely.

"I mean it, Rukia. I need an answer."

Rukia looked to Orihime who was giving her many hand signs that were telling her to agree. After a moment of indecision, Rukia finally gave in. Why did she have to spend her birthday with a total creep? Even if she was completely and unforgivably in love with him....

"Where?" she asked impatiently.

"Paradise Inn. 8:00 o'clock."

He promptly hung up leaving a stupefied Rukia on the other end. Orihime squealed and clapped her hands together.

"What time did he say? We have to get you ready!"

"Eight," Rukia replied sullenly.

Orihime gasped. "That doesn't give us much time! Let's hurry and make you beautiful!" She grabbed Rukia's wrist and dragged her along behind her.

Rukia watched as she dug through her closet with a look of amusement.

"Hate to break it to you, Orihime but I don't have your kind of curves. I doubt any of your dresses would fit me."

"Actually, Uryuu prepared you your own dress as a birthday present. He would've given it to you himself but I'm afraid he works late tonight." She dug out a long rectangular box with pink wrapping paper and white bunnies covering it. "He was being so secretive about it. I'm curious about how it looks. Quick, open it!"

Rukia's hands trembled as she gently ripped open the wrapping paper to reveal a green and black dress with spaghetti straps. It had green and black lotus patterns here and there. Yellow and green bugle beads outlined them. She had to admit that Uryuu had incredible taste when it came to women's fashion. It was beautiful but what would a woman like her so full of self-doubt do with it? She turned to Orihime with a hopeless expression on her face.

Her friend responded with a smile as she brought out her make up box and straightener. Oh, how she loved match-making...even if she wasn't particularly good at it. All she could think about was how wonderful it would be if Ichigo and Rukia got back together this very night. She had to work hard to make Rukia look fabulous for this evening.

As Rukia paced back and forth in front of Orihime's full-length mirror with the dress draped over her folded arms. She shoved her hand into her pocket and took out Masaki's charm. She never went anywhere without it. Clutching it tightly in her fist, she prayed that no matter what outcome tonight would bring that her children would be safe. She kissed it lightly as her eyes were drawn back to her reflection in the mirror.

"Calm down, Rukia," Orihime soothed. "It's gonna be alright. Now put on the dress while I let the straightener heated up."

Rukia nodded dumbly as she walked into the restroom and shut the door behind her. Her clothes were quickly discarded and vivid images of her one night of passion with Ichigo swam in her vision. She covered her chest subconsciously as she stared off into space, the images coming much more strongly now. Why was she remembering this all of a sudden? Originally, she and Ichigo had planned to wait until their wedding night, but Rukia had been torn in one of her moments of weakness. She had decided to call off the wedding, insisting that two different entities like her and Ichigo could never be together.

Ichigo had gotten extremely pissed off at her for this. They had ended up having angry sex; their only way of taking out their frustration on one another. Even after that, Rukia was still extremely hesitant. As they lay together on the bed, Rukia pointed out the large difference in age and Ichigo insisted that he fell in love with the woman whose soul was connected with his and that age had nothing to do with it. If it wasn't one thing that was preventing them from being together it was another. A large concern was Rukia's brother.

He had never approved of Ichigo and took every chance that he could to insult him. He told Rukia that he had much better marriage prospects in mind for her, and to not dirty herself by marrying a half-shinigami who had nearly led her to her death. Rukia stood up for Ichigo, demanding that her brother not ever bad-mouth him again. This surprised Byakuya greatly. Clearly, this was no longer the meek and obedient Rukia he had once known. Ichigo had had an even greater influence over Rukia than he could have ever imagined. Byakuya told her to do as she wished but should she ever need him, he wouldn't show up.

"Rukia, are you done?"

Orihime knocked on the door with a sense of urgency. Rukia jolted back to reality and suddenly felt the dress in her arms become much heavier.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll be out in a sec."

Rukia quickly folded her clothes and slipped the dress over her head. Gathering her clothes and shoes in her arms, she turned the knob and closed the door behind her.

Orihime gave her a look of approval. "Very pretty. Uryuu made a wonderful choice." She jerked her thumb in the direction of the bed for Rukia to sit. "Come, sit. I need to do your make up, there's not much time left."

Rukia did as she asked and let her do as she wished with her hair and make up. For a while, she was lost in her own world as she wondered what awaited her at the hotel. She was afraid that if she really went, she might not return home that same night. It was odd that Ichigo could have this effect on her, it confused her up to this very day. She had always feared loving him. It was a frightening, wonderful feeling being in love...sometimes she just wanted to crush that feeling all together.

If Ichigo had never kissed her that day so many years ago, they could've continued being nakama fighting side by side. It had come out of no where and had left her with an aching longing to always be with him. Even when she kept insisting there should be nothing more between them, Ichigo would always list the reasons why they should be together and would close the argument with a kiss.

The only thing that Rukia seemed to think about during his mind-boggling kisses was the thought of, "What if my brother and Yamamoto find out?" Ichigo was always way too calm about it saying that the day would come when they would find out and they would have no choice but to accept it. Despite his reassurance, Rukia kept trying to distance herself from him but no amount of time apart made Ichigo change his mind.

"What's wrong, Rukia? You're way too quiet?"

"Ah...I....I have a question."

Orihime smiled. "Alright, shoot." She used a silver butterfly clip to hold Rukia's bun, and then went to kneel in front of her to apply smoky green and grey eyeshadow.

"How...how did you know Uryuu was the one?"

Orihime's hand faltered slightly as she finished Rukia's other eyelid. "Huh. I'm not gonna say I just knew because actions speak louder than words. There was this one time during our senior year when I was having a really bad day. It was my birthday but everything seemed to be going so wrong. I got a call from Tatsuki's mom saying she was too sick to go school. It had rained on the way too school." Orihime chuckled at the memory. "I was soaking wet and had forgotten my lunch at school. I had no choice but to wear my gym uniform until the day was over. Uryuu offered me half of his lunch and had told me happy birthday. He even waited for me after school, and for some reason I was very happy." She paused as she did Rukia's mascara. "It had started to rain again and he shared his umbrella with me. Just as we were walking home, he suddenly told me to look up and he planted a kiss on me. My first kiss..."

Rukia eyes widened. "I didn't know such a thing had happened. So...you based your love for him off of that one kiss?"

"Well, not exactly." Orihime smiled at her confused expression. "Ever since I was little, I always thought that I was going to be with my family and have an amazing sweet sixteen...instead, I lived alone in my apartment and was having the most horrible day. I always thought that my real high school life would start at sixteen...and I was right." She pressed a hand subconsciously to one of her hair pins. "My memories of a high school girl began because of Uryuu."

"So it's different for every girl?"

"Well, for you I'd have to say to think of your happiest memory with Ichigo."

Rukia furrowed her eyebrows. "My happiest memory...my...happiest...memory?" She closed her eyes in thought. "It would have to be when he came to rescue me in Soul Society?"

"And your saddest?" Orihime pressed.

"When I left him standing at the altar," Rukia choked out, the beginning of tears sparkling in her eyes. "I've caused him so much pain. I don't- I don't deserve to be the one that stands beside him in a church."

Orihime placed a hand on Rukia's cheek. "That's not true. Don't you remember that it was once you who had your hand on my cheek and gave me the strength to believe I wasn't useless. It was also those hands of yours that changed Ichigo's world," she whispered. "He said so himself, he was fighting for the one who made the rain stop."

Rukia glanced down guiltily at her lap. "I can't give him what he wants." She froze at her words as she recalled her exact lack of intentions with Renji. She couldn't please either of them and was convinced that she was the last woman who could. "Orihime...there's something I need to pick up at my apartment real quick. It's important."

There was a moment's hesitation within Rukia as she paused before the revolving glass doors of the hotel. For a moment, she thought about bolting while she could but running away now would do her no good. She had to step aside several times to let people through. After a few moments, Rukia walked through and her senses were immediately assaulted with something mouth-watering in the air. She wondered if she was supposed to check in at the counter first. Just to make sure, she walked toward a clerk and tapped twice on the bell.

"Umm...sir? Is Ichigo Kurosaki staying here?"

The man turned around to face her and blinked. "Mr. Kurosaki did mention a young lady would be joining him tonight. What is your name?"

"Kuchiki Rukia," she said on reflex.

"Alright then, Miss. You may enter the bar area now."

"Thank you."

Rukia walked in that direction, her heart thudding faster and faster with each step she took. Bar, he said? It looked more like a ball room, it was enormous. She sat on a stool in front of the sleek black counter. She glanced down at the menu of drinks, remembering what a lousy drunk she was. A lighter drink would be more appropriate.

"I'll have a margarita, please."

The bartender cleaned the bottle in his hands with a handkerchief and popped the cork. He dipped the tip of the bottle into a wine glass and slid it toward her. Rukia sipped it joyfully, her mind at peace for the moment. She fell a hand at her lower back, and her eyes crossed with fury. She turned around to punch Ichigo only to find another man who caught her fist.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he apologized. "I noticed you when you first walked in. Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

Rukia stared at him. "Umm...thanks? Sorry, but I'm waiting for someone."

"Boyfriend?"

"Not exactly."

"Then how about one dance with me?"

Rukia thought back at how pissed off Ichigo had been the last time she had danced with another guy. She toyed with the idea of angering him again but she decided against it. She had come to end something here between Ichigo and her. It was time to be serious and put on a poker face for him.

"I believe she said no."

Rukia jolted upright when she saw Ichigo come up behind the man, considerably a head taller than him. He gave him a look to scat and the man didn't hesitate but not before throwing Ichigo a dirty look. They both watched him saunter off into the crowds. Ichigo glanced back at Rukia, noticing the flush spreading her ivory cheeks. It was endearing. He opened his mouth to say something but promptly shut it. He glanced across the bar, appearing to be quite nervous himself.

"I'm glad you came," he murmured.

"I-I didn't really have a choice."

Rukia focused her attention on her drink and spun around on her stool to face the bar. She heard Ichigo sit down beside her. He waved the bartender over and ordered a Gray Goose martini for himself. For a moment, there was an intense silence between them before an aggravated Rukia swung around to face him. She was startled to find his face so close and nearly spilled her drink.

"Are we gonna get his over with or not?"

Ichigo thought for a second. "Umm no. I prefer we take this night slow so no one, meaning you, makes any rash decisions."

"Me?" Rukia guffawed at the idea. "You're the one whose rashly making me spend my birthday with a creep like you at a hotel. Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Those may or not be my real intentions, Rukia. I intend to make this a birthday you'll remember."

Rukia felt like ripping his head off. She glanced down at her lap, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself. Why on earth had she just decided to come? She couldn't speak to him properly when he was so damn stubborn and pig-headed.

(Insert Song: Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse)

"Happy Birthday."

Rukia stared at the daffodil and blue rose he was offering her. She stared back and forth between the flower and Ichigo. If she remembered correctly from Sachiko's flower book, daffodils were supposed to represent forgiveness. Her eyebrows drew together as her hand closed around the stems. A blue rose traditionally signifies a mystery, or an unattainable love. Her hand flew to her chest as she felt her breath leave her in the that instant.

Ichigo's eyes bored into hers. "From this moment on, I'm prepared to forgive you for all the damage you've done to my heart." His much larger hands clasped over hers so that they were now holding the flowers up together. "I don't know what I did to make you run away from me and I don't care anymore."

"Ichigo..." Rukia started.

"Let me finish." Ichigo held up a hand to silence her. "Look, as hard as it is for you to believe, I'm not just gonna up and leave you for the next woman. This feeling I have whenever you're around...it never really went away after all this time."

There was a tight squeeze in Rukia's heart, and she felt her breath hitch in her throat at the myriad of emotions swirling within Ichigo's eyes. His beautiful brown eyes. They made her tremble and long to have them gaze at her that way for the rest of her life. If she had had her way six years ago, Ichigo would've been the man standing beside her at the altar and the man whom she could age with. She loved that feeling, she loved having the ability to grow older.

Rukia looked away. "What about Kyu-Ri?"

"It's over," Ichigo said simply, shrugging as he did so.

They were silent for a moment until the band started playing, and all of the couples had swarmed toward the dance floor. Rukia swished the margarita in her glass gently as she watched her reflection ripple across the surface. Ichigo made it sound as if breaking up with someone was so easy. Had he even thought of Kyu-Ri's feelings? Even though it annoyed and pained her so much to see them together, she realized that she had taken away a perfectly good opportunity for Ichigo to forget about her.

What kind of answer could she give Ichigo that would spare them all the pain and remorse of the world? Rukia shook her head silently to herself. She was probably the biggest martyr alive. She just couldn't stop hurting herself. Here Ichigo was pouring his heart out to her, offering to give her a life time of happiness and love....and she just couldn't accept it. When it came down to it, she knew who she loved more. Ichi and Sachiko were always first place in her heart. No lavishing proclamations of love would be enough to cloud her mind.

Ichigo hadn't actually told her he loved her. (A/N: Ichigo told Rukia he loved her while they were still together but she means that he hasn't actually said he still loves her since his return to Karakura.) Maybe this fact served as a warning that he wasn't the one for her. That maybe he wasn't being sincere with her. Except...this was Ichigo. Rukia knew him better than anyone. His actions spoke much louder than words. Ichigo could be as kind as he could be cruel and could love as passionately as the burning white hot sun. He was her black sun...or had once been, at least. Rukia was suddenly broken from her trail of thoughts when she felt someone tapping her shoulder. She stared down at Ichigo's awaiting palm outstretched toward her.

"Wanna dance?" Ichigo asked under his breath.

Staring down at his hand uncertainly, Rukia allowed her hand to rest over his. Without further adieu, Ichigo had pulled right off of her stool and had led her toward the dance floor. His fingers intertwined with hers and rested one hand at the small of her back. Rukia place her hand on Ichigo's fore-arm, nervously watching her feet as they danced. The song was slow and heartbreakingly beautiful. Despite all the chaos and destruction that awaited them, they only saw each other right now.

"Where did you learn to dance?"

"I learned a couple years back. My girlfriend at that time was a dance instructor so she insisted that I needed to learn to dance."

Rukia laughed bitterly. "Oh, Ichigo actually listening to someone, that's a laugh."

"Why so?" Ichigo frowned.

"You never once danced with me back when we were together." Rukia shook her head, her watery-like hair kissing her cheeks. "Each time I would ask, you would tell me it was a waste of time."

"That was then, this is now. Rukia, clearly you're not aware of the damage that was done when you left," Ichigo said solemnly. "Time passed and I met other women and I experienced things with them that I regretted never being able to do with you." It was like I was trying to make up for lost time in some way." He paused for a moment as if in deep thought. "Remember when we talked about the difference between romance and love?"

His warm breath tickled her ear, and Rukia blushed at the contact. She could only nod as his hand slid up her bare arm, leaving trails of goosebumps in its wake and cradled the back of her neck.

"This is romance right here but this..." Ichigo murmured as he grabbed her hand and slid it under the collar of his shirt. Rukia marveled at the feel of sinewy muscle beneath her hand, but what really grabbed her attention was the erratic heart beating. "...Well, I think you know what this is."

Rukia jerked her hand back and stilled their dancing bodies. She squeezed her fore-arm as she glanced down at her feet. She bit her lip as she mumbled, "I think you should take me home now."

Ichigo growled. "Rukia!"

"I said now!" Rukia ground out.

"You still haven't answered my question. I'm not letting you go without one."

"Fine! I'll walk home!"

Ichigo growled as he reached out and pulled her back to him. "I'm not getting on my knees here. I just want to make it clear to you."

"Make what clear?" Rukia spat.

"Understand!This is how I feel for you." Ichigo massaged his temples. "Dammit. The crazy shit you make me do, I swear. Rukia, look- look what you've done to me. I can't go one day without thinking of jumping off a bridge just so that I could stop thinking about you," Ichigo said breathlessly. "Every time I see you, I just want to hold you and kiss you. I want to be apart of your life again and make up for all the time we missed out on together."

Rukia narrowed her eyes. "It's not my problem."

"It should be." Ichigo got right in her face. "I'm extremely hard to get rid of."

"Ichigo..." Rukia glanced down at her feet. "Please don't do this. Let's just forget about the new New Years' incident."

"How could I forget? You gave me peace for one moment since the last six years. Can you stand there and tell me you don't feel the same?"

Rukia locked gazes with him. "I don't love you. It's as simple as that."

"I wish I could believe you," Ichigo murmured.

"Then that's your problem. I'm going home."

"Don't do this!"

Rukia cringed at the desperation and anger lingering in his tone. There was a long moment of silence before she felt Ichigo's arms wound around her shoulders. Ichigo rested his chin lightly on the crown of her head and breathed in the scent of her fragrance. Rukia felt goosebumps start to rise on her arms all over again and her heart start to hammer painfully.

"I've always been waiting even before I ever met you," he whispered. "Don't keep me waiting anymore." He squeezed her tighter against him, burying his face in her hair.

"Stop this," Rukia pleaded, her hands gripping his wrists.

"I'll take you home," Ichigo sighed. At saying this, Ichigo's grip on her slackened, and after a moment, finally let her go. He turned her around to face him and ran his thumb lightly over her lips. "...For a kiss." He gave her an even look, telling her that he wouldn't let her go home without a price.

Rukia sighed. "You're hopeless, you know that?"

She stared at his rugged neck that withheld his just as rugged Adam's apple. Her gaze slowly met with a strong chin, and finally settled on his lips. She felt hunger for them in a way she had never felt hunger for any other than man. Ichigo grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her to him. He looked into her violet eyes and she nodded briefly. Maybe she wanted this. Maybe she wanted to stop thinking logically. Maybe she just wanted to be selfish for once in her life. Ichigo leaned down and brushed his lips against hers' before Rukia's mind could tell logic apart from desire.

Her eyes hooded into slits as she watched the effect Ichigo was having on her. The familiar goose bumps on her arms rose, and her pulse pumped back to life. Rukia's arms slipped around Ichigo's waist on their own accord. She felt her eyelids grow heavy and found it hard to breathe all of sudden but clung onto Ichigo as if he were her only life line. Ichigo sucked at her bottom lip, demanding entry, promising pleasure that they could both fall back on. Rukia kissed back just as fiercely with a passion she didn't know she possessed. Ichigo's arm tightened around her waist, forcing her body as close to his as possible.

The were the last ones on the dance floor with violins faintly heard in the background. Ichigo hesitantly tore his mouth away from Rukia's, gazing down at her expression clouded with desire and guilt. His hand gently ran through her raven locks and a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. He slid his hand down from her jaw, down her arm and finally clasped her hand in his. He glanced down at their intertwined hands, before lifting his gaze back to her violet orbs.

A shiver crawled up Rukia's back at the look of want he was giving her. Her vision was swimming with Ichigo, and felt her eyes roll to the back of her head. The last thing she remembered was Ichigo's arms shooting out to catch her.

It was like a dream....well more like a nightmare. Rukia lay on a luxurious bed with hooded eyes. She glanced about the room and saw that her shoes had been taken off for her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Ichigo sitting in the corner of the room. He was almost a living shadow as he sat perfectly still, staring out the window with a somber expression. Rukia closed her eyes when his head slowly started turning in her direction. Ichigo blinked at Rukia's unconscious form, smiling a bit despite himself. He stood up and came around the bed to sit beside her. He plopped down on the cushioned chair and stared with interest at Rukia's sleeping face.

Rukia felt her heart speed up at feeling his eyes raking over her. It might help if she wasn't facing him. As casually as she could, Rukia groaned a bit and rolled over onto her side. Rukia's eyes glanced at the alarm clock by the bed and felt a tremor quake through her body. Three in the morning! What had she been thinking? Renji and the kids must've been so worried. She promised she would be back before ten and here she was in a hotel room with her ex-fiancee. She had thought it wouldn't take more than two hours to sort everything out with Ichigo. Oh, how she was wrong.

"Rukia," Ichigo sighed. Rukia noted the exhaustion in his voice. "Wake up, already. Don't you think I'm tired of taking care of a kid all day? You really are a lousy drunk, ya know. One or two margaritas and you're already fainting on me."

Rukia bristled at the comments but remained perfectly still with her eyes clamped shut. A horrible sinking feeling settled into the pit of Rukia's belly when one eye peeked open and caught sight of the time again. She bit her chapped lip, feeling her throat weep with thirst. If she could just wait for Ichigo to fall asleep, she could easily sneak out but the fool had apparently been up all night. All for her...Rukia sighed internally as her mind drifted back to Ichi and Sachiko. Not likely that they were in bed yet. They probably thought that she didn't know that whenever Rukia was out, Renji would let them stay up late.

"You're something else, Rukia. After all this time, I still haven't figured you out," Ichigo murmured. He chuckled a bit. "You're so damn stubborn and naiive and self-sacrificing. Not to mention a midget and your drawings suck by the way," he added. Rukia ground her teeth together, refusing to turn around. Ichigo's eyes softened. "But you're all I am. I wish I could show you that we belong together...I never understood why you left just that when I'm as near to you as I am now, I'm weak against holding a grudge."

Now what was there to say to a confession like that? Rukia felt her eyes prickle with tears, promptly shutting her eyes, but a single tear escaped the veil of her lashes. It slid down her cheek and dripped onto the pillow beneath her head. Her dry mouth parted open and silently formed the three words she longed to tell him. She couldn't deal with all these conflicting emotions Ichigo inspired within her. She clenched her teeth together to prevent the dam in her eyes from overflowing into a breaking point. Suddenly, Ichi and Sachiko's smiling faces appeared behind her closed eyes. Flashes of them laughing and playing together moved like an old, silent film. Seeing them enjoying their everyday bliss made Rukia wish that tomorrow never came. She remembered that she was a mother first and foremost.

She couldn't allow herself to leave Ichigo with a sad face. If they had to separate once again then she was glad that Ichigo had made this night unforgettable for her. Rukia slowly rolled back onto her back, her eyes shut and face expressionless. She felt Ichigo thread his fingers with hers', and she couldn't help but revel at how well they fit together. The bed creaked under Ichigo as he rested one knee on it. He hovered over Rukia, and pressed his hands on either side of her head. His eyes softened at her undisturbed expression. Even now, one enticing glance at her lips could send his heart racing. Ichigo could feel her warm breath fluttering against his lips. He smiled as he leaned down to close the space between their lips, his eyes hooded half-way as he continued to watch Rukia sleep.

Rukia chose to open her eyes at that exact moment, and was amazed to find Ichigo's face so close to hers'. Her hands came to rest on his shoulder, and his jaw as she continued to stare back up at him. Ichigo smiled ruefully as bent further down to kiss the base of her neck. He felt Rukia's pulse quicken under his touch, and her flushed cheeks hid no thought or desire from him. His kisses started getting more and more aggressive up to the point where it was almost primal. Rukia could barely breathe through the intensity of it all. She threaded her fingers together behind his neck, and tried to respond back just as fiercely.

Ichigo's hand rested at her knee and slowly began it's descent across her leg, while his free hand grabbed one of the straps on Rukia's dress and forcefully tugged it down. It hung limply over one shoulder, exposing her collar bone to him. He pressed his lips against the exposed top part of Rukia's breasts, wishing he could imprint Rukia's image in his head at that very moment. Rukia whispered Ichigo's name in his ear, sending jolts of pleasure down Ichigo's spine. He let out a masculine grunt as he undulated his hips achingly slow but powerfully against hers'. He slipped a hand between their bodies to undo his belt. The sound of leather scraping against metal sent Rukia back to Earth. Her eyes slammed open and pressed her dainty hands against Ichigo's chest.

Ichigo looked down at her, confused by her tear-streaked cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Rukia whispered. "...If we go further, I know I'll end up crying."

Ichigo drew her into his arms without another word, nuzzling his face against her hair. Rukia stared in shock over his shoulders, feeling one of his arms wrap around her slim frame while the other curled around the back of her head. As her tears continue to rain down her cheeks, she could make out the hazy image of the stars outside of the giant glass windows. They were so beautiful tonight, twinkling so dimly, almost as if they were weeping with her. Rukia trembled in his arms, worried about how much trouble she was putting him through. Yet he was so silent for her as if pleading for her to cry to her heart's content.

So she did. It was all she could do. Rukia clutched his back tightly as she trembled violently in his arms. After the longest time spent in embrace, Ichigo pulled back, his face shadowed as he caressed her jaw line. As Rukia got a good look at his face in the moonlight, she saw that she was not the only one who had aged lifetimes. There were bags under Ichigo eyes and eyes looks so hollow. Her hands as if bending to a will of their own took a hold of his face, her thumbs lightly rubbing over the bags. Ichigo placed his hand over hers and closed his eyes for a moment in content. When he opened them, they held the utmost regret Rukia had ever seen in them. He looked as though he had been through so many battles only to come out losing.

"I'm sorry. I'm a man, after all. I figured if I couldn't have you, I'd like to know your body at least one night." Ichigo let go of her and sat with his back facing her. Rukia stared at his strong, exhausted, lonely back that was littered with scars. "I think I've really been neglecting your feelings. I have to respect any decision you make, and if my feelings for you disturb you, I promise...I'll keep it all to myself from now on."

Rukia's eyes widened and then turned somber at this life-changing decision of his. It would ultimately save them all. He truly did understand her, he truly did love her....he loved her enough to let her go. Inside, she was happy. So happy that she might burst into tears all over again. She fought the urge to embrace him and assure him of her unwilting love for him but held back. Ichigo would always be and remain the only man for her. There was just no getting over someone like Ichigo. He had given her the most precious night; had treated her to the most hotel, dance, flowers and the most wonderful kiss she had ever received. It had made her feel as young as her shinigami once was at the tender age of fifteen.

She crawled over from behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, and let out a shuddering breath of air.

"You're a big part of my life, Ichigo," Rukia said, a faint smile on her lips. "You've taught me so much. Why am I surrounded by such kind men I wonder? What did I ever do to deserve you and Renji?"

Ichigo sighed irritably, clicking his teeth together and violently pulled away from her. He walked in the direction of the large glass windows but paused mid-way. His tense shoulders sagged after a moment and let out a sigh of regret. Rukia chose to remain silent, biting her lip as she stared down at her lap. She could understand why Ichigo thought that there was something going on with her and Renji. He was very good to her and her kids loved him but there was no spark between them.

"I'm sorry," was all she could say. Rukia's hands fisted at the material of her dress, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration. "I'm so thoughtless. I'm sorry for ever bringing him up."

Ichigo turned around to look at her a few seconds later. "You know...I never thought I would end up actually being jealous of Renj but I admit it. I'm jealous. I can't stand the idea that I have to go away while he gets to see your face everyday."

There was a long pause between them, their thoughts plagued with the inevitable. Rukia felt another tear slide down her cheek, briefly closing her eyes as she took Ichigo's fist in hers' and kissed it tenderly. She slipped her feet into her high heels and had finished doing with straps when she remembered something. She caught sight of her purse on the nightstand and began rifling through its contents. Ichigo watched her uncertainly as she crossed the room toward him. She wore a solemn expression as she stood on tip-toe, barely managing to kiss his chin while her hand forced an object into his hand.

Ichigo didn't have to look to know what it was. He turned away from her as she pulled away, a shadow spreading across his face. She had finally done it. She had severed every last tie with him. The diamond engagement ring in his palm suddenly felt very heavy. He walked toward the window, propping his fist and pressed his forehead against it. A gust of wind felt like it had been knocked out of him when he heard the door shut behind him. All sense of feeling had been numbed until there was nothing left of him.

A/N: And there you have it...more romance, more drama. O_O Actually, it's beginning to seem more like angst. Maybe I should change the genre. Anyway, just as promised. Kyu-Ri is finally out of the picture, that's one good thing. This chapter was extremely hard for me, because I'm not very comfortable of writing make-out scenes or stuff that's on the verge of lime. The only reason I did was for the reader's benefit, and because I felt that something would be lacking if I didn't add that stuff. There might possibly be a lime later but that's as far as I'll go. I'll have more time to update now that we're on Christmas break so I hope to have the next chapter soon. I should really get a beta reader so that I can speed things up. Please R/R for me and I'll get the chapter uploaded as soon as possible.

BETA READER WANTED

Song Recommendation: Friday I'll Be Over You by Allison Iraheta