Title: Realisation
Summary: She realises, now, why he can't be near her. It's the same reason she doesn't want to be near him now.
Characters: John, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney
Pairing: John/Teyla, John/Nancy, Teyla/Kanan.
Rating: K
Spoilers: Missing

"Have either of you seen Sheppard?"

Teyla looks up as Ronon steps up to the table she and Rodney were currently residing at. She shakes her head; she has not seen John since the supplies came through from Earth; though that in itself was not unusual, she rarely sees him outside of their missions anymore. Since she told him she was pregnant. She isn't why he evades her – had it not been he who had been with many women since his arrival in Pegasus?

Neither had he made any indication to Teyla that he held those kind of feelings for her. It was that and a deep need to be loved that had driven her to Kanan. She refused to be the woman who waited for the scraps to fall from his table, the woman he turned to when he needed her, never allowing her to move on, nor giving her what she truly wanted.

"I haven't seen him since he got that letter from his wife."

Teyla stops chewing then, her eyes fixing on the spoon in front of her. It feels like she has been hit with a Wraith stunner. She can feel her face drain of all blood. Her fingers feel leaden. She hears her spoon clatter as it drops back into her bowl of jello.

His wife?

"Ex-wife, Rodney. She's his ex-wife," Ronon clarifies, his eyes fixed on Teyla's still form.

She looks up and sees him enter the mess hall. Her eyes follow him as he lifts a sandwich from the tray. She watches as he smiles to one of the marines and turns to the table where they are seated. She sees him see her and then falter – if only slightly, not enough for the other's to notice. But she does. She sees the way his eyes drop from hers, how his smile dips at the edges.

She realises, now, why he can't be near her. It's the same reason she doesn't want to be near him now.

All the women, all the nights he'd spent in others' beds meant nothing to him, (and not really much to her either) because he didn't care about them. But the thought of him having someone he cared about… someone he loved who wasn't her… it ached, deep within her heart.

She excuses herself as he approaches the table.

She reaches the corridor outside before she allows herself to breathe again.