I was scared I wasn't going to be able to continue on with this story because the crack pairing generator is officially offline, but thankfully I had a list of previous topics that I had saved in a word file. I only have a few, unfortunately, so I'll continue along as best as possible until they run out!

I haven't written comedy in awhile, but I remember now why I used to - it's way too fun.

I see people still lurking around on these stories, so if you came across this, leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

The subjects and topic are at the end, but it should be kind of obvious :)

Greg Kasal paced down the hallways of Caduceus, feeling out of sorts. It wasn't often he visited without Cybil, however, it had been her order that had brought him there.

"For God's sake, Greg, we've been so withdrawn lately that nobody even knew I was pregnant! Now that things have settled down there, you need to take her to go see Uncle Sidney and company…"

"But, Cybil…!"

"No buts! You also need to have conversations with real humans who are not me or your infant daughter, and you will do so while I am working today. Get moving!"

Fingers gripping the handle to Kari's carrier, Greg rolled his eyes with a smile. He should've known better than to argue with his wife. Years together and he had won maybe two arguments?

Maybe?

"Yeah, with a one argument margin of error…" he muttered to himself as he arrived outside his brother's office. Three quick knocks and he walked in, not bothering to wait for a response.

"Excuse me?! I most certainly did not say you could come—"

Sidney stopped short as he stared at a glasses-less version of himself, eyes widening in shock at the unexpected visitor.

"Well well well, what a surprise." Sidney said, tone instantly changing into one that was more 'upbeat uncle' and less 'boss about to fire you'. He rose from his desk chair and moved out toward his brother, bright smile on his face as he spotted his niece, wide eyed and enjoying a green pacifier.

"You should go back to the voice you started with…" Greg started, playfully. "I need Kari to know her real Uncle Sidney, not this weirdo with the high pitch who pretends that he's nice."

Sidney peered over the top of his glasses at Greg, eyebrow now raised. "You know, that's a shitty way to speak to your most frequent babysitter."

Greg shut up instantly. A quick mental image of Cybil kicking him square in the butthole because he lost their childcare was more than enough to stop him from teasing his brother any further.

"Sorry, sir." was Greg's reply, though it was lost on Sidney as he had already gently pried his niece from her car seat and was now holding her in his arms.

"We're just making the rounds, per my wife's orders. Apparently, as we learned recently, there are people here who like us and care when we procreate."

Sidney laughed. "Yeah, I didn't stop hearing about that one for weeks…"

Greg smiled, hands now in his pockets. "Well, would you like to join me while I make the rounds?"

"I guess so." Sidney replied, looking back down at his niece.

Greg stepped to his daughter, her bright eyes on him instantly. "What do you think, Kari – want to go watch a bunch of women squeal over you?"

Sidney chuckled. "That's no way to speak about Dr. Chase, Greg."

Greg laughed.

-o-

After visiting for a short time in the Caduceus lounge with Leslie, Tyler, Victor, and Dr. Clarks, Greg loaded Kari back into her carrier and began pacing back toward the lobby of the hospital. This had surely been enough to satisfy not only his friends but also his wife, who was tired of the constant badgering by her old coworkers and as such, sent her husband to remedy the situation.

Swiftly moving in the general direction of the lobby, Greg ground to a halt when he passed by an office with a familiar name plate on the wall outside its door. He peeked inside with a smile but it quickly faded.

At his desk was Derek Stiles, face contorted into a look of frustration. He was hunched over and writing furiously on a piece of paper in front of him, muttering softly to himself as he scribbled out what he had just written, pen tapping on the desk as he racked his brain.

"Whoa there!" Greg chided with a laugh as he entered the room, Derek's eyes nervously shooting up to him and then relaxing as he saw the new occupant in the room.

"Oh, hi Dr. Kasal…" he said, eyes back down on the paper in front of him before they sprang wide open and he jumped to his feet, confused.

"Dr. Kasal?!"

Greg just laughed at Derek's scattered behavior. "Yeah, it's me – erm, well… us." he said, lifting up the baby carrier.

Derek smiled brightly and reached out to shake his mentor's hand, grin growing as he looked at Kari. "Wow, what a surprise! Although I do have to say, you're the last person I expected to walk into my office. What brings you two by?"

"Wife's orders." he replied, Derek chuckling knowingly. The Iron Vixen had given him a command or two during their time as coworkers, the word 'no' something that hadn't crossed his mind for a millisecond.

Greg swung his arm up and placed the carrier into a seat across from Derek, lowering himself into the other chair. "What's going on here, Derek?" he said, motioning to the project he had been working on when Greg had first arrived. "It's been awhile since I've seen you look this… how do I say this nicely…?"

Derek raised an eyebrow.

"Crazy."

The younger surgeon frowned, moving to sit down in his desk chair with a furrowed brow. "It's nothing."

"Now now, Derek." Greg started, his tone teasing. "I saw this exact look on your face many times during residency – what's got you so frustrated?"

He leaned forward to try to make sense of Derek's notes to himself, but the paper was crumpled into the young man's hand before he was able.

"Really, Dr. Kasal, it's nothing. I'm just trying to think of ideas for something."

"Ideas? For what?"

"Oh come on, don't be such a baby!"

"I am NOT a baby! YOU'RE the baby!"

Greg stopped pressing his mentee at the sound of yelling in the hallway, the argument growing closer and closer, until…

"Derek! Victor's an asshole!"

Tyler Chase had barged into Derek's office with his odd-couple counterpart, Victor Niguel, in tow. He wore a heavy pout, arms crossed as Victor just chuckled.

"Yeah, you're about three years too late, Chase. Everyone already knows I'm an asshole. They also know that you are roughly 99% of the reason why."

"I am not! You so love me!"

"Clearly." Victor replied, delivery flat as could be.

"Ladies, could you find another place to do this?" Derek asked, Greg simply laughing along with a shake of his head.

"No, we can't. You wouldn't believe what Victor just did to me!" he said, throwing a lanyard toward Derek, who caught it. "Look at my badge!"

Derek did as he was told, biting his lip to prevent himself from breaking out into laughter. Tyler's name badge, in capital bold letters, now read 'WASTE OF SPACE' instead of his actual name, Tyler's goofy smiling photo right next to it.

"How did you do this?" he asked Victor as he passed it over to Greg, who immediately began to laugh loudly.

"Friends in the right places." was the researcher's explanation, before he whipped his head back to Tyler. "I don't understand why you're getting so goddamn bent out of shape – you do this shit to me ALL the time and I never pout!"

Tyler whirled around with his mouth wide open, eyebrows pushing down on his eyes angrily. "Are you kidding me?! You freak out EVERY time I try to prank you! You would have physically or verbally kicked my ass for DAYS if I ever tried this!"

Victor smirked. "Yeah, well after the laundry list of times you've pissed me off, you deserve this and the feeling of knowing that I will be exacting my revenge slowly and painfully upon you as you beg for mercy."

Derek chortled once, both men turning to look at him questioningly.

"What's with all the noise, Stiles?" Victor implored, snark heavy in his tone.

Derek smiled, leaning back in his chair. "Oh nothing. Just never thought I'd see the day that you actually stooped to his level – you always said it was beneath you."

Victor immediately turned red at the statement, hands balling into fists at his side.

"You'll quickly carve out a space for yourself on my revenge tour if you don't shut it."

Derek saluted, sarcastically. "Yes, sir."

Tyler scoffed with a stomp of his foot, still angry and unable to take being the subject of a prank instead of the perpetrator. "Not only did you change my name, you changed my designation – I'm now listed as non-essential personnel!"

"I actually think that's how it should've been to begin with." Victor retorted, earning another whine from the blonde surgeon, who shot his gaze to Greg and Derek for help.

"He somehow also managed to cut off my access! I can't get into the cafeteria, I can't get into the on-call rooms, I can't get up to the roof – what the hell am I supposed to do?!"

"WORK, Chase. How about you try to actually do some work?!" Victor retorted, trying to squelch the smile he felt growing as a result of watching Tyler so miserable. "See, now you don't have any places to go that would stop you from actually being a productive member of this organization! You really should be thanking me!"

Before Tyler could get a poorly executed rebuttal in, Derek interrupted.

"Would you mind taking this lover's quarrel somewhere else, please? I've got a lot to do and I'd also like to be able to talk to my visitor without listening to the two of you!"

Tyler's gaze turned from angry to mischievous quickly, the shit-starting grin he was famous for now stretched across his lips.

"Ohh, I almost forgot…" he started, earning a fierce glare from Derek.

"Don't you dare—"

"Someone's still trying to plan the perfect daaaaaaate…" Tyler sang, laughing when Greg lit up and turned back to his mentee.

"God, I hate you."

"You do not."

"No, I really do. I changed my mind about before, as well. Victor, I hope you torture him. Let me know if I can help."

"Hey!" Tyler exclaimed, unamused by his best friend. Victor gave Derek a thumbs up and removed himself from the room, the blonde hot on his heels yet still whining uncontrollably.

Derek sighed, head in his hands. "Dr. Kasal, would you like to adopt my two, large, adult children? They're horrible."

Greg laughed. "Not on your life."

A smile grew on the older man's lips, quickly backtracking to when Tyler had sold Derek out.

"So, Derek… a date, huh? That's what's got you this tightly wound?"

Derek's cheeks quickly flushed until near purple, stammering in his embarrassment. He couldn't think of a way out of it so he simply nodded. "Yeah… it's in a couple days."

Greg closed his eyes and lowered his voice. "Please, please tell me it's with Angie."

Derek's eyes shot open. "O-Of course it is… who else would—what?! Why would you say it like that?!"

Greg laughed and held a hand up to him to stop his nervous rambling, which quickly quieted the surgeon down.

"Come on, Derek. The only thing that has ever been more obvious than Angie's feelings for you was how bad you had it for her from the moment you met."

"What?! I didn't—"

"Oh, just stop already. You're a horrible liar."

Derek quieted himself, conceding to his mentor. It had been obvious for quite some time, though the resurgence of GUILT and PGS had made acting on such things unfortunately complicated.

Greg smiled, hand raising to scratch his chin. "Well, in any case, congratulations on finally pulling the trigger after three years. You were both pathetic, and it was downright painful for all of us to watch."

"Are you ever not going to make fun of me when we talk?"

"Probably not, no."

Derek sighed, a smile slowly bleeding its way onto his face. He recalled the moment days prior where he had finally asked his nurse on a date, relieved when her answer came without hesitation and accompanied by a bright smile and a tight hug. But since then, attempting to plan a night out had dominated his thoughts, leaving him unsure of where to start and kicking himself that he didn't carve out time to date more in his past – experience would have really been helpful here.

"As your former mentor, I'm supposed to rag on you from time to time. It's the small slice of repayment I give myself for whipping you into shape."

Derek nodded with a smile. "I guess that's fair."

"However, mentorship is also good for something else: solid life advice. And lucky for you, I'm full of that."

Derek chuckled. "I don't have a choice in this, do I?"

"Ah, growing smarter by the day, Dr. Stiles."

The smile dropped from Greg's face just slightly as he crossed his hands in front of him. "You know, Derek, believe it or not, this situation is actually working strongly to your advantage."

An eyebrow raised in response to this. "Because I'll die of a nervous breakdown before this date actually happens?"

"It's possible, smart ass." Greg poked, grinning. "But I'm being serious."

Derek sat forward in his seat, interested.

Greg sighed. "You and Angie have been working together for years now. Two medical terrorism events, PGS, training around the world… hasn't exactly left you with a ton of time for wining and dining, yes?"

Derek nodded.

"I know it might seem like a detriment, but it's good news. What that means for you in this, is that Angie fell for you because of… well, you. Not because you were super suave and won her with things, but because she genuinely wants to spend even more time with the man she's already with constantly. See where I'm headed, here?"

Derek's cheeks flashed a rosy pink. "Y-Yeah, I think so… I just don't get how that helps me figure out a plan. I need to quickly transfer from friendly companion into that super smooth date guy and I'm at a loss of how to impress her. I left her waiting so long before I finally acknowledged how I felt about her that I feel pressured to come up with something amazing. Something that will be worth years of me being a complete, naive idiot, you know?"

Greg nodded. "I do. Stick with me here, though. When's the last time you gave Angie a gift?"

He mulled it over. "A big gift? Her birthday. But we do little things for each other here and there…"

"Like what? What was the last 'little' thing you did for her?"

"Well, a few weeks ago she was slammed here and craving some food from her favorite Thai place, so I went out and got it and surprised her with it for lunch."

Greg threw his hands up in the air. "And what about that doesn't scream super smooth date guy?!"

Derek rolled his eyes. "I guess… it wasn't a big deal."

"To you, maybe, but how did she feel about it?"

Derek smiled softly. He remembered the look of overwhelming gratitude well, and could definitely still feel the kiss she left on his cheek…

"Derek." Greg said, voice now stern. "Listen to me."

He motioned to his side at the baby carrier that held his baby girl, a smirk on his lips.

"See this little girl right here?" he started. "My most important job as a father, besides feeding her and putting a roof over her head, is to fend off douchebags that will attempt to date her later in her life."

Derek laughed. "Sure. The thought of raising a girl sounds equal parts wonderful and terrifying."

Greg let out a low whistle and nodded. "Yep. Watching her date will likely be the death of me."

He smiled, looking back at his sleeping baby in her carrier. "But you know, one day she'll come home with a boy on her arm, and it's every father's hope that he be… well, like you, Derek. Someone who is naturally thoughtful and caring without having to try so hard all the time. Someone who genuinely loves her for who she is."

Derek turned a brighter shade of red at the compliment, a hand coming up to scratch the side of his head.

"Girls really aren't as complicated as we make them out to be, hard as it is to believe." Greg continued. "Guys like the two weirdos that just left? THOSE are the guys who have to go above and beyond – they need to buy gifts and flowers and spend a ton of money because they're attempting to hide their many, many character flaws."

Derek chuckled quietly, reminiscing to a conversation with Tyler after his first date with Leslie. He had spent an ungodly amount of money just to have her cancel at the last minute because she had been sick, leaving him empty-handed and down several hundred dollars.

"To be successful on this date, you already have all the answers you need. You've had years worth of intimate conversations to learn about this woman and what makes her tick, and now's the time to tap into it. Find a place or a memory that's special to the two of you, add a little bit of romance, and you're set. She'll be blown away by your thoughtfulness, not your money. I guarantee it."

A bright smile leapt onto Derek's face as the answer instantly clicked in his mind. Greg was right – the problem wasn't lack of thinking, it was over thinking.

"Looks like the wheels are turning now. I'll leave you to it."

Greg stood and held his hand out, to which Derek shook firmly.

"Thanks, Dr. Kasal. Your streak of amazing wisdom is alive and well."

Greg laughed. "Anytime, Derek. Make sure you keep in touch – I'm going to need to hear how this goes."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "You want me to call you with the details of my date?"

"If you don't, Cybil will hunt the both of us down. As soon as I tell her you and Angie finally came to your senses she's going to lose her mind. She's been yammering on about it for years."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Yeah, she does tend to push the issue pretty hard whenever we're around. Tell her thanks for that, by the way."

Greg lifted Kari's carrier into his arms with a laugh. "I will. Also, I guess I owe you some degree of thanks, because you just earned me twenty bucks. I thought it'd be another year until you pulled the trigger, but I was still closer."

"What?! You bet on me?!" Derek groaned. "How long did Cybil think it would take?"

"In her own words, 'a half past never'."

"You know, it probably would have been much sooner if not for all of you guys tormenting the hell out of me."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

Derek smiled and slid his hands into his pockets. "Thanks again, Dr. Kasal. Give your wife my best."

Greg nodded, leaning in the doorway. "I will, Derek. Do the same for Angie, please."

"Of course."

"And hey…" Greg said, winking at his mentee.

"…good luck."

Derek nodded with a smile.

"Thanks – but I'm not so sure I need it anymore."

Greg nodded and removed himself from the room, eyes down on his sleeping daughter once more as he smiled lovingly at her.

"Even if you find yourself someone like him, you're still not dating until you're thirty."

Derek Stiles / Greg Kasal - "Girls"

If they could make a new TC game, that'd be greeeat. D: