This is second part to Touch Complex... if you want to call it that. Like a sequel thing. Simply put, I took a sentence from that one-shot and incorporated it into this. If you find it... :D
Warning: Rated M, for Hitachiincest smut and explicit content. Hikaru's POV. Again. HikaXKao, or KaoXHika. You can't tell who's on top, really. x.X
Disclaimer: I dun own the twins... or else they'd be doing this all day.
If I could describe Kaoru in one word, it would be 'indescribable.' You can't describe him.
After all, he doesn't have a set mood, and changes what he is on the outside- he just isn't predictable.
No one could tell what he's thinking, what he wants, what he wants to say-
-or what he's hiding and what he's showing to the world.
But I could.
I could tell what he's feeling with one simple touch; I could tell what he's thinking with just a single brush; I could tell what he wants just by feeling, touching. And he would always show me what he wants to say.
Always.
I was prone to touch him, like it was an obsession, a habit that I couldn't get rid of. And he was adapted to my touches, that even if I had begun to go slightly over the edge, and began to actively provoke him, he wouldn't even bat a lash.
He'd just accept it. That's why he never reacted whenever I touched him, no matter where I did, no matter how private or public, whether in the secrecy of our home or within the cameras of society.
And sometimes, it scared me.
His nonchalant expression, his doll-like vulnerability- the fact that I could simply take advantage of him, control him like a puppet master does to his puppet. Blank unseeing eyes, a glassy disposition- it scared me that I could do anything to him and it wouldn't matter.
So that's why I decided to test his limits.
I don't want to hurt him. Thoroughly disgust him, yes; but not hurt him. I can't stand hurting him.
My hazel eyes scanned the shelves- it took a long, long time to ditch Kaoru and convince the chefs that I was going to do something productive with these "items"- and they landed on a large jar of peanut butter.
That'd be good; I put a finger through it, ignoring the horrified expressions that the chief chef gave me, and the buttery substance was smooth on my fingers. I place the lid back on and set it onto the equally as large jar of maple syrup on the counter.
For this, I might need some… other items.
I need some restraints; I need to keep my hands free at all times, and his tied.
The gleaming metal chains were staring at me- like it was saying- take me, take me!- but my stomach rolled at the thought of using that on my brother. My eyes shifted towards a pair of handcuffs; my hand rubbed my wrist a bit. No, that hurt a bit too much than was necessary.
I needed something sturdy, something I can always take off, and something that wouldn't hurt him in the process. Sure, Kaoru had been slightly adventurous every so often, but he had never, never really hurt me. I had always trusted him not to, to always stop when it became unbearable. I walked through the entire work room, my hands behind my back, simply looking for things that would work.
After three hours, I decided on a simple rope and some duct tape, just in case.
And then, I need the perfect time; he needs to be conscious, yet tired out (I don't want to overexert him), ignorant and unsuspecting.
I stashed everything in a small drawer that we never touched- he never touched, and somehow I was secretly relieved that he didn't- and for the rest of the week, I simply waited for that opportune time when I could flip the tables on him.
And I need a time when the staff aren't present. After all, they shouldn't be concerned to what I'm going to do to my brother.
He moved his hand over his mouth, nodding at the other business man's words. Then he lowered it, and plastered his smile back on, as if he didn't do what he just did, and replied-
"Well, it's pleasant to attend your modest dinner party-" Modest only because the best of the best in the country were invited, "-Hikaru and I would be taking our leave. Thank you." He nodded, and looked at me in the corner of his eye, can we go home?
"We'll keep your offer in mind," I added on, as I saw that the man was about to say something, just as impatient to go home as my counterpart was. I grasped Kaoru's arm as I practically dragged him towards the door. He waved at the host before submitting to my persistent pull.
When we finally shut the car doors closed, Kaoru yawned, sliding into the passenger seat, blinking tiredly. It was only just after twelve; it was a normal time when we come home after business meetings, so he shouldn't be this tired…
"Thought it would never end," he slumped into the seat, sighing as he loosened his checkered tie.
"Eh, what's up today?" I sidled up to him, pulling him closer to me, as he leaned heavily onto my shoulder. My fingers ran through his soft brown tresses.
"Worked late last night…" he sighed, closing his eyes, I need sleep.
"Mmm…" I nodded, not really sure about how to go on, 'lest I give away my plan.
But… would Kaoru approve to what I was going to do?
But, if he doesn't want to- he will tell me to stop…
-right?
He shrugged off his navy blue jacket, plopping it onto the desk chair, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, half-asleep, before flopping onto the large bed we shared.
Taking this chance, I blocked all thoughts of hurting my brother out of my mind, as I anchored my pinky around the handle and pulled the drawer open, taking the long rope in hand. Regardless of whether he was even looking at me or not, I hid it behind my back and slowly slid onto the bed next to Kaoru.
"Kaoru?" He grunted softly in reply, still painfully oblivious.
Okay, it's now or never-
I mumbled a "sorry, Kaoru" as I practically jumped him, flipping him to face me, grasping his thin hands in mine, quickly tying them together (so I wouldn't dwell too much on his feelings) and then taking the other end and tying it to the bedpost. He looked at me wide-eyed, surprised- and so vulnerable. It wasn't planned- but-
I took off my black tie with one sharp tug, avoiding his look, and hiding those eyes from mine with the thin strip of cloth- like a blindfold.
"Hikaru? What are you doing?" he questioned, and his tone wasn't even scared, frightened, or shy. More like- I'm tired- can we do this another day?
But that was why I got him on a day he was tired.
Because then, he couldn't and wouldn't deal with this, leaving me to decide everything.
He couldn't see me through the blackness, so I felt slightly more confident- that I couldn't see how he was feeling. I straddled his waist- but he couldn't see, of course- and lowered my face to his.
His breath- my breath- they mixed, as I breathed in his smell, taste, and softly placed my lips onto his, tasting him.
Kaoru still tasted like the green tea he was drinking at the dinner, with a light tint of chocolate. I pushed myself closer to him, but I didn't feel him responding, not much at all. He must be a very tired- I concluded, as my tongue nudged his lips open, slowly entering and rubbing against his mouth.
He let out a small muffled moan, reluctantly, because he was pulling slightly at the ropes.
He didn't want to do this; but he still did.
I didn't even have to fight for dominance; he let me take over, playfully pushing against my tongue every so often, but doing nothing else. I momentarily left his lips, reaching over to grab the jar of maple syrup; he was breathing a bit hard. My hand dipped into the golden syrup as the other tilted his chin; I planted light kisses along his jaw to his ear, as my fingers drew small circles into his bare chest, the syrup spreading.
He didn't shudder as I thought he would; instead, he just stayed there, doing nothing. Puzzled, I lay my body flat against him, wondering if he was hiding it. No, there was nothing. My syrup-covered hand traveled up his chest to his neck, where I began to nip at his collarbone, just a little.
I need to take off my suit.
I pulled away from him, sitting on his legs as I threw my jacket onto the floor next to me. Kaoru was quiet, just breathing slowly, but nothing else. As I dropped my shirt onto the floor, I leaned over to the drawer, pulling out the jar of peanut butter and sticking my entire hand into it.
Without hesitation, I placed that hand onto his chest (still no response), spreading the creamy substance all over him before I lowered my head again, drawing little patterns with my tongue, licking, sucking, biting-
-biting? I pushed this thought out of my mind, as my syrup-covered hand (my left hand) traveled to his back, dancing a small trail over his equally as smooth skin, and the other sticky hand (my right) shuffled upwards towards his face. I laid a feverish kiss on his lips, claiming them- harshly biting for entrance- and pushing my tongue into his mouth again.
My left leg was between his, pushing against his pants, eager for something. I reluctantly pulled away, to see absolutely no change in his expression, even though his eyes were hidden. His breath was heavy (he was still awake at least) as I grabbed the jar of maple syrup within my two slippery hands and poured it onto his exposed stomach. Still half-full, the jar was then placed onto the crisp bed sheets, as I massaged my two hands along his body, my fingers rubbing the syrup into his skin, into the various crevices that only my fingers had ventured before.
I dragged a syrup-covered finger along his neck, before it reached down to play, the other fingers smoothing the liquid into his belly-button. I raised my hazel eyes to look at him again- he was so convincing he could've been passed off as sleeping- but it was obvious why he didn't even much shiver-
He was used to it; I had my tongue doing those things too.
Both hands trailed along his side, one of them (I couldn't tell which one) knocking into the jar and spilling the syrup onto the not so clean sheets. Dancing shapes into his stomach, my fingers moved towards his back, scooping up the maple syrup, rubbing it into his back, sliding a thin finger down his spine. I closed my eyes contently, my active tongue seeking his sensitive spots before biting- hard- and tongue picking up the sweet-sweet goodness on his even sweeter skin.
As my hand stopped massaging his back, I reached clumsily over to the other jar, the syrup falling from my fingers onto the palm of my hand. Peanut butter always tasted better with maple syrup, I thought silently, shoveling out a helpful scoop of said thing. I tickled him along his arms, a mixture of syrup and peanut butter adorning his skin even more, as both hands suddenly dropped south. I pulled my tongue away from its job, as I fumbled with his belt buckle, my fingers slipping.
"Hi… Hikaru?" It was unsure, confused, questioning, desperate for answers. My head snapped up to look at him-
No, no, don't talk! Don't distract me!
I shifted nervously and somehow he understood me- and with the belt gone and my finger on the open zipper, I pulled down his pants and boxers in one swift motion. I stared at his reaction- and as expected- he only shifted his head to the side. I threw said objects of clothing onto the floor, in a small pile with my shirt and stuff, before my hands moved lower.
I dallied with running my fingers along the thin crease where his thigh meets his hip, before I dragged the sweet trail of syrup-peanut butter mix around his length (he was really trying to force himself not to enjoy it) and around his pale thigh, before moving my hand upwards against him, sloppily smoothing the syrup sheen over his skin, over him. My hand joins the other on his hips as I forced him into my mouth-
-and he only shook, once. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing out of the norm.
I ran my tongue along him, tasting both his salty sweat and the syrup, and my mouth roughly pushed against him; and he's hardening all over again- unlike how he did before, and he scratched against my throat, although he was doing a good job with not thrusting into my mouth. My hands trailed, pressing against him, one of them fingering him, the other rubbing his stomach. Almost choking, I coughed, pulling away from him, a long line of syrup-peanut butter-semen-drool falling from my lips. Somehow the added ingredients made everything taste better; somehow Kaoru made everything taste better.
And then, two fingers found their way into him-
Damn, that's…
I lowered myself, my breath against him, my fingers moving in him, thoroughly soaking his insides with maple syrup. Facing it, I dipped my head lower, tongue flickering out, just a bit to lap at the dripping syrup. I unconsciously fingered for the jar of peanut butter, spreading it over my fingers before smoothing it over his enter lower body, occasionally brushing it against my mouth to taste it. I dove in again, my tongue tasting the syrup off of him, until I removed my fingers, and pressed my tongue quickly inside, licking up the dropping liquid.
He shook; I could practically feel it from inside him. Nothing came to my mind as I pulled away and thrust three fingers inside- at once. My other hand was to busy drawing more circles into his thigh, as I closed my eyes and laid my head on his stomach-
My fingers shoved deeper, just as it occurred to me- that hurts. My nervous hazel eyes flew to his face, but he didn't even change his expression, but I remembered-
Kaoru was never on the bottom.
Well, he wasn't hurt- he would tell me if it did- but he's never received before- but I pushed it out of my mind, removing my fingers, and shoving the rest of my clothes off me, as I did the one thing that I swore never to do-
-and rammed right into him.
He was tight, warm- mind-numbing- around me and for a split second I wonder why I had never done this to him. His legs were bent awkwardly, spread apart unnaturally; my hands gripped his hips for support, my breath erratic. I moved against him sharply, as he finally did something-
For the first time, I broke a gasp out of him. And suddenly, I felt that something was off- his lips were moving noiselessly-
I ventured something, looking up at him, "Kaoru?"
He only tilted his head slowly to the left- like he's telling me he's listening, but it wasn't a sharp cock of the head like it normally was.
"You…" I blinked, moving my hands onto the bed sheets, leaning closer to him. I was close enough to feel a short, sharp, pained breath against my skin, and he was mouthing wordlessly, staining my cheek with moisture- 'accept it, accept it, accept it-' and I shook at this- was he-?
I'm forcing myself- I'm forcing him to his limits-
My hands fumbled slightly as they raced each other towards his face, hooking a finger onto the tie and taking it off quickly-
Kaoru, I was speechless, as I saw his surprised eyes blinking, blinking out tears.
Hikaru, he shuddered, shifting his eyes away from mine, wincing, his arms finally attempting to struggle out of the binding.
And this was pass his limit, even if he's not showing it.
Why? I implored, trying to meet his eyes, but they were fixed stubbornly onto the only lamp lit. His fingers tried to untie himself, as he tried to yank himself away from the firm rope. Why didn't he struggle before? He- I thought in horror-
He would let me do anything, except see him cry.
I slowly tugged myself out of him- ignoring that something in the back of my head told me no, no, no!- and laid onto top of his sticky body. I placed my hand on the side of his head, forcing him to look at me; a small tear trailed down his cheek as he attempted to blink away the drop. His hazel eyes were misted over with tears, and as mine met his, he suddenly stopped resisting.
"Hi…" he took a deep breath, his voice shaking, "Hikaru…"
And he knew- I knew- that we had to use words.
"Hikaru, it's…" He closed his eyes firmly, as I simply stared at him, waiting, for him to chew me out- but it never came- "Hikaru. If you didn't want to do it…"
"You didn't!" I retorted, grabbing his shoulders roughly, as he winced, letting out a small yelp. My voice grew harsher, "But you still let me do it."
"Why wouldn't I?" he breathed out, closing his eyes again, his restraints taut.
"You always scare me, Kaoru! You let me do anything to you! You know, if I got something else, more painful and shoved it-" I coughed slightly, veering from the subject, "You would still let me do it!"
There was a silence as we both inhaled in each other's breathes. He broke it with a pained gasp, my hand lacing around his, comfortingly. My brows furrowed, asking, soft in the icy silence-
"… Then… why do it? If you didn't want to?"
He looked at me, his golden eyes still full of tears- I couldn't look at them anymore.
My hands were concentrating on the ropes, untying him as quickly as I could. He brought his arms down, rubbing a hand against his wrist, and continued in a soft voice, avoiding my gaze, "I trust you… and your judgments, Hikaru. I know that you would never hurt me."
-like I trusted him. Somehow, I felt like I broke a very sacred contract.
Sighing heavily, he flopped tiredly, exhausted, onto the bed, closing his eyes almost instantly- and I immediately felt a pang of guilt enter my heart.
"Kaoru…"
"Hmm?" he answered weakly, his eyes closed, about to fall asleep, not even looking as I brushed his sweaty hair.
It was soft, but I knew he was listening, "Why the hell would you trust me, even when I hurt you?"
He popped one eye open and stared at me lazily. Kaoru sighed loudly, "That's the other thing, Hikaru," he winced slightly, as he pushed himself half-off the bed, his lips brushing against my ear, his breath a pressing presence. His eyes lidded, "You… needed it. Why wouldn't I give you something you need? And that reminds me…"
His hands reached my shoulders, his thin fingers pressing into my skin, and-
-suddenly he shoved me down onto the bed, a smile spreading smoothly on his lips, "You need this, Hikaru. You weren't quite finished when you stopped…"
His eyes closed, and a mischievous glint over took his features, as he adjusted our position, sitting right on me, his wet body shining in the soft light. My eyes widened, as I saw myself enter him again, and he wincing a bit more. It was only several seconds after, when he opened them again, something shining in his eyes- one hand fingered its way down my arm, the other grasped me tightly- or whatever part of me that wasn't already in him, as he trailed a finger around me, the syrup-mix drawing little shapes into my skin. He smiled that sly, evil Kaoru smile of his-
"And I haven't given it to you yet."
The first thing that came to my mind was- I'm on the wrong side of the bed. The air was a bit too chilly to be late the afternoon, so there goes the chance that I was going to be late for work. But I didn't care, as my hand subconsciously fingered several strands of my twin's hair. I stared dazedly as his sleeping figure, that was, as usual, too close to me. I snuggled closer to him, arms trailing around his sticky body (sticky?), pulling so that he was practically attached to me. I involuntarily slipped a leg between his-
And he shuddered.
"Kaoru," I mumbled sleepily, hugging him tighter against me.
"Kami, Hikaru, do always have to do that?" he retorted weakly, but I simply pulled him closer, as the night's events suddenly came back to me. I felt him frown against my skin, his voice stern, "Hikaru. What the hell did even put on, in, me?"
"Syrup," I replied quietly, my eyes closing.
"What." I mentally shivered, the warmth draining with the contempt in his words.
"And peanut butter," I added hesitantly, opening an eye to stare at him. He was frowning, disgusting. I lowered my eyes, sitting upright, placing my legs over the side of the bed. I scrutinized the cold tiled floors, as I murmured awkwardly, "Fine. Let's go get you cleaned up."
Not waiting for his reply, I pulled gently on his hand as we silently made our way towards the bathroom, and I locked the door quietly-
"Kaoru?"
"Hmm?" he turned around to look at me, blinking, and in the bright light of the bathroom, I could see that almost every inch of him was covered in syrup… and other stuff. My eyes just roamed his body, as I placed my hand within his, and I chanced a shy look into his confused hazel eyes, forgive me?
He looked down at himself, and he coughed, perhaps in disgust, "Geez, Hikaru, I just wanted to sleep and look what you do to me," he sighed, giving me a stink eye.
I shrunk slightly in fright, that he might never forgive me for doing that to him, that maybe he's going to hate me for the rest of my life, when he laughed and gave me a small smile, it's okay.
"But," he stepped into the shower, not bothering with the nylon curtains, "Why did you do that?" He didn't turn on the shower, but looked at me with a critical eye.
"Well," I mumbled, sitting onto the toilet seat, not looking into his eyes, "I just… Maybe I just wanted you to tell me…"
He kept silent, the syrup staining the white tiles of the shower a deep amber.
"Tell me," I wringed my hands, my breath hitching in fright, "Just tell me how you feel… And what you like, and what you didn't like…" I tilted my head to face him, eying his neutral expression, "And not just in looks… because sometimes my touch just turns off, and I can't tell. I don't like hurting you, Kaoru. I-" I close my eyes tightly, breath stopping once as the memory of Kaoru being in my hands came back,
"I can't stand it. So, tell me-"
-and I stood up, pressing my hands against his chest, hazel looking into hazel-
"Tell me with words. How did you feel?"
Alright, his finger racing along my lips, tentative, and then, "Hikaru, that was disgusting."
I twitched.
"And I don't think I can get the smell off; mice will probably have me for dinner-" he ranted on, ignoring the effect of his words, "-plus, what will our employees say if I suddenly smell like maple syrup? And showers don't get everything off, Hikaru."
"Y-Yeah," I replied weakly, stepping onto the bathroom tiles myself-
"But, it's alright," he ended, and he turned the shower on the both of us, smiling at me through the stream of water, "You were finally seme, Hikaru."
I felt my cheeks heat up a little, as I look into his eyes. His smile turned cheeky, "Finally. Kamisama, how long have you been making me do it? Kaoru, I can't do it- so take over! Geez, you always think it's that simple. Switching positions in the middle of sex- crazy, stupid Hikaru"
My blush burned- "K-Kaoru! That-! That-!"
And then, I received a mouthful of water.
It would scare me.
How selfless he would act- how giving he would act- how caring he would be to me and me only-
I was an exception- and sometimes it felt good to be Kaoru's number one. That the person he would live for would be me, and the person he always thought of was me, and the person who he'd stay with for the rest of his life and on- that would be me.
And that's what scared me.
I'm the selfish type- to want Kaoru all for myself, and push him all the way to his limits, the edge, and I can't stop myself. But he would never tell, never push me away, and that provided endless opportunities to take advantage of him, to exploit him for all he's worth (everything), to manipulate every one of the willing fibers of his body- and he would never tell, never complain, never scream to stop
I'm scared for him.
So that's why I always knew his limits.