Unwilling Union

I'm not very happy with this but hey, it's better than nothing.

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I moved this way and that. But nothing made the pain stop. Sharp pain shooting through my leg even when I only thought about my accident. As long as I didn't move anymore than necessary I was only dealing with a dull ache. I have had worse injuries than this. Why does it seem so much worse?

What a great way to spend a day or few. Stuck in a room, ankle propped up on a pillow. Nothing to do for hours on end. Ah, makes me want to live my whole life this way. It's been three days since I twisted my ankle on that horrible walk I took with Tommy. I told him time and time again that I didn't want to go with him, but did he listen? Does he ever listen? No!

After it happened he carried me home and up to my room. If I wasn't in such a hurry to get away from him I would've seen the very large rock in the middle of the path. Why did he have to go and kiss me again? Once was enough for a day. A lifetime even. I really wish I could believe my own insane ramblings. I'm hoping that if I think like that enough, it will plant the seeds of doubt that I need to resist his charms. As I said before he is too charming, by anyone's standpoints.

Day after day, a schedule seemed to form. He carted me to the parlor for a change of scenery. Toted me into the dining room for dinner and took me right back up to my room. And I don't think he really minded in the least. Every once in awhile he would move his hand a little lower than necessary. The skirt of my dress somehow ended up to where his hand was touching my leg as he brought me upstairs. A too innocent look on his face the whole time.

Though it was very satisfying to hit him over the head with my parasol. I loved the sound he made as he held his head. It made me feel powerful. Very heady feeling, something I would like very much to experience again. It makes it worth the pain I feel.

"Love? Are you awake?" He seems to have thought up a new pet name for me. I had my eyes closed and I considered not answering him. But he would just pester me until I did. For some reason he knows if I'm aware or unconscious.

"Yes, though I wish I were dead," I didn't see a point in trying to be civil. My ankle ached more the closer he came.

"Why is that?" his smile grew larger as he closed the door behind him.

"Seeing your smiling face brings on the urge to throw myself off the balcony. If I could walk that is," a shot him the worst look I could. I wanted to wring his neck if I could. He would be able to avoid it easily, my being crippled and all.

"It very nice to see you too." he gave me a kiss on the cheek as he set down my tray. "Here's your dinner. You need to keep up your strength." I saw a odd gleam in his eye as he said that. "We're leaving tomorrow."

"And how will we be traveling?" I watched him warily. My luck he'll want to walk. Which means I'll spend too much time being in close contact with him. The side of my body pressed into his chest. Feeling the subtle muscle that's always hidden by layers of cloth. His hands doing much more than just holding me. Why am I finding it hard to breathe?

Corset. That is a plausible reason for shortness of breath. My corset had been tightened recently. If you count two days ago as recent.

"Train." I had just gotten myself under control when he gave me his answer.

"How do you expect me to go by train if I can't walk?" I could feel my pulse begin to race as I thought of the plans he had in store.

"You haven't been able to walk for days. How have you been getting around?"

"You are not carrying me onto a train where people can see! It's bad enough that I have to been seen with you." I hoped my insult made him rethink his plan. But I knew that he was becoming accustomed to my surliness. "You want to make it that much worse?" Even though I couldn't care less of what those society mules think of me, but if my mother heard about it...

"I'll have your things ready in the morning. We have an afternoon train." he leaned in to give me a kiss but I turned and he got the corner of my mouth. "Soon, you won't think about turning away from me." His promise was lingering the air for several moments after he vacated the room.

Oh, dear Lord.

UuUuUuUuU

We made it to the train station with only a few minutes to spare. I limped at Tommy's side, occasionally tripping over the bumps in the path. I couldn't lift my leg very much. I resented Tommy for the pain and agony and humiliation. Tommy kept an arm at my waist, keeping me from injuring myself any more than I already was. That's one thing in his favor.

I gritted my teeth as we approached the procession of cars. All of our luggage had been put in its place and the only thing left was me. I felt like an inanimate object with the lack of movement I was working with.

I eyed the stairs and wished I could fly. It would make all of this so much more simple. I lifted up my leg to start the climb, but pain went through me as I put my weight on my ankle. I whimpered quietly and dug my fingernails into Tommy's arm.

He whispered soothing nonsense to me, his hand brushing some hair from my face. Why does he always have to be so caring and sweet? This is going to be the death of me.

"I could kill you for this," I wasn't really angry with him. It was more about my weakness.

"Yes, but who would carry you around?" He slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. My feet didn't quite touch the ground as he stepped onto the stairs to enter the train.

I looked around nervously, hoping that I didn't see anyone from back home. But luck seemed to be on my side. We arrived to where we were supposed to be and he helped me settle in.

"Do you need anything my dear?" he asked as he sat across from me.

"I'm fine, thank you," I said crossly. What does he want from me? He woke me up quite early and annoyed me the entire time. He said that I needed to help with the packing and that I should start getting dressed now. "Who knows how long it's going to take you" were his exact words. I nearly smacked him but he cut that off with a swift but passionate kiss. I don't really remember what happened after that.

The ride dragged on longer than I expected. I stared out at the scenery, but it all blurred together. Green and some brown flashed by me. Sometimes I would catch some blues and pinks. But other than that it was very monotonous.

Why didn't I grab that book? It would have made this all the better. I tried to listen to the natural music that was always in my head but as soon as the piano tune started to reach it's peak I was interrupted.

"Jude?"

I thought about pretending to sleep again but I've spent the last few days unconscious. I didn't answer him but I did give him my attention, trying my best to not look him straight in the eyes. Those blue orbs make my thoughts get tangled in knots. And my stomach isn't too far behind that reaction.

He looked a little nervous and it made me think about our wedding. I couldn't help it. He wore that expression as I looked at him, the look that broke my will to run. A slight crease was etched in his forehead. I tried not to fidget with the tier of silky fabric that I caught between my fingers. Luckily the hated bouquet covered the motion.

I was brought out of the thought by Tommy calling my name. I just nodded as a sign that I was paying attention to him. Even though I was doing no such thing. "What did I just ask you then?" I nodded again. That reaction always seems to work with my mother. "You could at least pay attention you know?"

"I am." I tried for my best innocent voice. I looked in his general direction and then out of the window, still watching him from the corner of my eye.

"Well since I have your undivided attention," he rolled his eyes. "I want to talk to you about this whole situation."

"What situation?" There is the fact that I have to consummate a marriage to a man I don't know. I still want to shudder at the thought. Also I have so many admirers that I never knew of, and now they make their feelings known. Even some I've never met before. James being the most memorable. And I've made quite a few enemies too in this short time.

It is not my fault that I had to marry one of the most wanted bachelors in the country. My mother is in full blame for this. I never met the man until the month before our wedding.

"Our situation."

"Oh," was too inadequate for an answer. But it was the best I could come up with. What else am I supposed to say? How does one respond to something like that?

"This isn't going to be easy for either of us." I looked at him sharply. "Yes, it's not going to be that difficult on me," he admitted as I watched him turn away slightly. "But-"

"Please don't. I don't want to hear about this. I can't even think about it," the familiar knot formed in my belly as reasons I should run away from this took full focus in my brain. But thankfully for both of us, I can't -don't- want to fight it anymore. That doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on him.

"Why does this scare you?" He motioned between the two of us.

I looked skyward and let out a deep sigh. Will he understand? It's not that difficult a concept. "Thomas, I'm sixteen. I've been locked away ever since I was born. No real contact with the opposite sex. Does that answer your question?" he nodded softly and left me to my thoughts. Thoughts I didn't want to be left to.

I started picturing Tommy in my head. I know I do that normally but this was a little different. These images were a mix of our kisses and the wedding night. His domineering frame keeping me from escaping. I felt my face start to heat, the salacious pictures making me feel minutely scandalous. That's a bit of an understatement. And I began to hope that what was in my mind wasn't apparent on my face.

"Sweetheart?"

"Hmm?" I did my best to hide my overheated features from him.

"Is everything...alright?" he must have noticed I didn't scold him for using one of his ridiculous pet names he likes to call me.

"Yes, I just feel... a bit of a headache coming on." I started to fidget with a tendril of hair that came loose. I looked and saw my hand was shaking. Sooner or later he's going to notice that something is haunting me. "Pardon me." I told him as I dashed out of the compartment.

I rested against the wall a few feet away, my breath slowly returning back to normal.

"Do you need any help?" I jumped at the sound of the voice. My hand going to my chest as if it would help the rapid pounding.

"No thank you," I met the eyes of the mystery person and I found I could not stop. His grass green eyes shined with curiosity as he watched my features change. I only wish I knew what they changed to. Hopefully not admiration. Or desire. Because I'm not sure if its for him or Tommy.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he said kindly.

"You didn't," not really anyway.

He took a step closer, eating up my personal space. Not that there was much to begin with. As most people know, trains are not the most spacious creations. He was about to speak again but something behind me caught his attention.

Determined footsteps warned me that Tommy was nearby.

Review please!

Thanks, Eternita14.