Chapter One: Walking Away

Cream colored boxes with perfect bows made of satin atop them, filled the dimly lit dining room. For two weeks, Meredith Grey walked past this very room without so much as a second glance. She ignored the cream colored blur that appeared in the corner of her eye each time she breezed by on her way to the kitchen. She simply would not allow herself to look... because looking would only remind her. And reminding herself was not something that she wanted to do... because reminding meant facing the truth. And facing the truth... would mean acknowledging the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. The feeling that had only increased as each second, each minute, each hour, each day passed. So... she just didn't look. For two whole weeks.

This morning was the fifteenth day. And for some reason, on this day, on her way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee... she looked. Today, her pace slowed... her feet stopped... her body turned... she looked. And just like she thought might happen, the dread in the pit of her stomach swelled as her eyes drank in the painful reminder of everything she had lost.

Has it really been two weeks already? she asked herself as she leaned against the door frame and sighed. She shuffled into the room against her will and sank into one of the dining room chairs. She surveyed the room, looking at all of the boxes, all of the gifts that needed to be sent back. A wave of sadness overtook her, immediately followed by a wave of anger.

What was she supposed to do now? For two entire weeks she had done nothing but sleep late and mope around her mother's house in her pajamas. Surely she could not continue to go on like this. Looking around the dining room at all of these gifts, and realizing that the task before her was one she had to do alone, a deep dark depression enveloped her, and it only made her want to run back upstairs and hide under her covers until she grew old, or shriveled up and died. Or both.

She was so engrossed in the feeling of the heaviness encasing her, that she barely heard the soft knock on the dining room door. She looked up to see her mother standing over the threshold, giving her a dreadful look.

"He's here to see you." Her mother announced, her voice laced with bitterness.

Meredith could only stare back at Ellis with a blank expression.

"Should I send him away?" Ellis asked.

Meredith thought about that for a moment. She could turn him away. After all, he was the reason she was feeling so rotten... and alone... and abandoned... and angry. Very, very angry. Plus, he was the reason that she had to send back all of the gifts laid out before her... all by herself, and before she even had the chance to open them, at that!

He had been trying to call her over the past two weeks. She knew it was him every time the phone rang. But her mother, surprisingly and thankfully, refused his calls for her. But now he was here. Standing on her mother's front porch. Obviously he had something important to say to just show up like this. She could send him away, tell him to kiss her ass and take a flying leap. But, really... where was the fun in that?

She straightened herself up in her chair and smoothed out the front of her wrinkled t-shirt.

"Send him in." She stated quietly.

Ellis gave her a questioning look as if she hadn't heard her correctly. Meredith nodded in assurance, and without another word or puzzled look, Ellis walked away, disappearing around the corner as quietly as she had come.

A few moments later, the one man that Meredith could have gone a million years without seeing again, and never having a care in the world about, was now standing in the doorway, his hands shoved firmly into the front pocket of his jeans.

"Hey." He greeted her softly, his eyes not quite meeting hers.

Coward.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" She asked bitterly as she glared at him.

He sighed as he shifted his weight around. "I, uh... I came to apologize." He replied hesitantly, like he was apologizing for something small and insignificant. His gaze finally meet her icy glare.

"Apologize?" She gaped, her mouth nearly dropping to the floor. "Are you kidding me?!"

"Meredith, I-"

"Don't 'Meredith' me!" She cut him off. "We're supposed to be on our honeymoon right now! We're supposed to be lying on a beach somewhere in Fiji, sunbathing and sipping fruity drinks with pretty little colored umbrellas in them!"

"Meredith, please..." he pleaded, removing one of his hands from his front pocket so he could run it through his hair and wipe a tear from his cheek.

Seeing him cry only infuriated her further. He had no right. He had no right to feel sad or come here and apologize for his actions just so that he could get absolution. He didn't deserve to make himself feel better. Not after everything he had done to her... to them.

You can cry
But don't cry for me
I can't take it no more
That's the way it must be

"No!" She shouted. "Do you know what I'm doing?' She asked, her hands balling into fists atop the table as her anger increased.

"I'm sitting in my mother's dining room... in the dark... staring at the gifts that were sent to us from people who were going to attend our wedding last week! Gifts that I now have to return, BY MYSELF, because that wedding never happened!"

"Come on, Meredith!" He shouted. "I'm trying to-"

"Trying to what?" She cut him off again. "Apologize? What, did you suddenly grow a freaking conscience in the past two weeks as you continued to screw the whore that ruined the wedding we never had?"

"I'm not seeing her anymore. I broke it off." He informed her, desperation creeping into his eyes. "I ended it.

"You ended it." She echoed, rolling her eyes at him.

"Yes." He replied softly. "I want a second chance."

"A second chance?" She glared at him in disbelief. "Are you insane?"

"I still love you, Meredith."

Her eyes narrowed as she continued to glare at him. "Maybe you should have thought about that fact before you slept with her." She seethed.

"Please, Meredith..." he begged, "I miss you."

You can't lie
Your way back in
Back in to my heart
Oooh, I won't let it be broken again

"You are unbelievable." She said as she shook her head at him. "You want to know something funny?" She asked as she let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"I actually thought that you were different. I thought that you were the 'one'. You really had me fooled didn't you? I was so caught up in you... that I didn't even really see you. The real you. You humiliated me. You humiliated my mother."

I took a tumble
I started to stumble
That's when I fell
Into a love
I thought was sent from above
I was under your spell

"You ruined this. You ruined us. You ruined... everything. And you broke my heart."

A single tear slipped down her cheek as another wave of sadness enveloped her. She looked directly into his eyes, her tear filled eyes peering into his soul. She looked at him really, really good, letting her words sink in. And as she continued to stare at him, a clarity washed over her and she sighed heavily.

All the things that mattered
Were broken and shattered
One by one
I was so sad
But now I'm just glad
That it's over and done

"I'm sorry." He repeated in a whisper, not knowing what else he could say as he sniffled and blinked back his tears.

"It's too late." She replied, her voice coming out broken and raspy.

"Meredith, please..." He begged yet again.

She shook her head at him. "Get out."

"Mer-"

"Get out." She said again, only firmer this time.

When he didn't budge, she rose from her chair. "GET OUT!" She hollered. "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

His eyes widened at her sudden outburst. The pain and anger in her eyes as she glared at him never failed or faltered. Tears began falling from her eyes in rapid succession and her breathing became shallow. Before she could cross the room, he turned around and surrendered to defeat.

Once he was gone, Meredith stumbled back into her chair and let the sobs that she was holding back finally overtake her.

There's just one thing
That I want to say
I truly loved you
Now I'm walking away
Yeah, I truly loved you
I put no one above you
But, now I'm walking away