I'm back from the dead people!! I can't even tell you how sorry I am for not updating this. I mean Jesus it's been 7 months!! Who does that?!?! Well I'm back with a new chapter I hope any of you like it enough to continue reading this and review when you're done. I'd definitely be okay with you saying that you hate me for taking so long to update. Haha please enjoy.
"No Brooke it's okay you need him." She said finally understanding fully now seeing them together that they couldn't not be together. "Don't worry about it."
"Okay." I said in a daze. This was going to be very difficult for me but as more time passed I grew more tired and after Michelle gave me my medicine I passed out in a blissful dreamless slumber knowing that when I woke up Nathan's arms would still be wrapped around me.
I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep when I awoke and noticed that I was still in the hospital. There wasn't a clock and none of my friends were in here anymore, but I felt weight from behind me and relaxed automatically knowing it was Nathan. His even breathing told me that he had fallen asleep too, and I was happy he was finally getting some sleep. As stressful as this whole thing has been on me it's taken a tremendous toll on him as well.
That medicine Michelle had given me worked, because when I shifted it didn't hurt like it had earlier. That was bad I felt like it was happening all over again.
"Brooke." I heard Nathan mumble. I turned around so I could face him. His eyes were still closed so he must be sleep talking.
"Brooke." He said again so I took his hand letting him know I was here. Nathan squeezed my hand and I wondered what was going on in his head.
"Nathan." I whispered squeezing his hand back.
"Brooke." He whispered with a smile on his face, and seeing that put a smile on mine.
"I'm right here." I said kissing his forehead. His arm snaked around my waist pulling me on top of him. Even in his sleep he was so strong.
"Nathan." I said startled that he actually pulled me down. His eyes shot wide open filled with worry and concerned.
"What's wrong?" He asked alarmed.
"Nothing." I assured him quickly. "You surprised me that' s all."
"What did I do?" He asked panicked, "I didn't hurt you did I?" I shook my head telling him no.
"You were talking in your sleep." I told him with a grin. His eyebrows rose at that.
"What was I saying?" He asked with a smirk that had me thinking he remembered exactly what he was dreaming about.
"You repeated my name over and over." I said teasingly, as his smile grew bigger and bigger.
"Did I say anything else?" He wondered out loud.
"Nope just my name." I told him.
"I was dreaming about you naked." He said raising his eyebrows suggestively. My face broke out into a blush picturing him the same way. Only he could do this to me, at this point the fact that I was in the hospital was the farthest thing from my mind.
"Did you like what you saw?" I asked taunting him. His cocky ass smirk grew at the turn our conversation was taking.
"Very much." He said in a hushed voice. I nodded placing my lips right above his. Nathan filled the space between us kissing me hard on the lips.
"That is one thing that I will never get sick of." I said breathlessly when we pulled apart.
"You know this is now the third time I've walked in on you guys either kissing or fucking and I've got to say that I'm not as creeped out as I should be." Peyton said from the doorway. I turned my head and noticed she was laughing.
"Maybe if you knocked then that wouldn't be an issue Peyton." Nathan said mock glaring at her.
"Whatever Scott maybe if you could keep your hands to yourself for one minute then I wouldn't be exposed to your guy's sexfest all the time." She said exasperated as she sat in the chair. I laughed lightly at her tone.
"I'm sorry P. Sawyer I promise you won't see anymore." I said in a baby voice and she smiled taking my hand. I could feel the light mood shifting like it always does.
"How are you feeling?" She asked and just like that all joking was gone, my fantasies involving Nathan were gone and I was right back into reality where I'm a rape victim being treated in the hospital.
"Fine." I said monotone. The truth is even if Nathan and me continued our little talk it wouldn't last. I got carried away last night and he stopped me so I knew it would probably be awhile before we had sex again. After being raped that should be the last thing on my mind, but after it happened to me so often I just blocked it out any time I did it with anyone, especially Nathan. He made me feel special not like he was only using me for my body, but he made me feel loved and I just wanted that feeling all the time.
"B?" Nathan questioned hearing my tone. I shook my head and sighed.
"I do feel better that pain medication worked, but I want to leave and forget all about this." I said in a small voice. Nathan rubbed my arms making me feel warm and Peyton's smile never left her face.
"Karen filled out all the paper work that's why I came in here. You're free to go." She said happily. My lips curled upward looking forward to leaving here and the disgusting man who put me here.
"Thank god we can go." I said leaning up with Nathan's assistance.
"I brought clothes for you to change into." Something in Peyton's voice made me study her expression. She still had that smile on her face, but she sounded off.
"What is it?" I asked and she bit her lip. I knew she only did that when she was nervous because that was my nervous habit too.
"When we got the clothes we saw the room." Peyton whispered. My mind immediately clicked with what she meant and just like before Nathan was stone on this bed with me.
"The blood." I muttered as my eyes welled up remembering the attack and hearing Nathan almost kill Rick. Peyton nodded her head up and down.
"It really shook me and Lucas, but we managed to get almost all of it off the wall however the carpet still has a stain." She told us.
"The red carpet has a blood stain." I said trying not to choke on a sob.
"We really tried." Peyton said sadly. "Lucas got most of it off the wall, and I tried scrubbing the carpet but I guess I didn't use the right stuff or something because it's still there."
"Thank you Peyton." I whispered. She hugged me gently setting my clothes on top of the blankets.
"If you don't want to go there until everything is clean again I understand we can do whatever you want." Peyton said putting both of her hands on the sides of my bruised face.
"Maybe Lucas's." I suggested knowing if I went back to the apartment right now I'd have a nervous breakdown and probably never recover.
"Yes that's fine he suggested that while we were cleaning Nathan's car too." She said smiling at the idea.
"You guys cleaned my car?" Nathan's voice surprised me. He wasn't so tense anymore and I was relieved that he wasn't going to keep shutting down on me.
"It was the only thing we could think to do to help." She shrugged. She and Lucas were both amazing people.
"You are the greatest friend ever." I stressed trying to stand up holding onto both Nathan and Peyton.
"You deserve the best Brooke." Peyton said honestly.
"Sometimes I'm not so sure." I whispered so quietly only Peyton heard me. She looked at me alarmed, but covered it up immediately.
"Hey Nate can you go tell everyone that I'm going to help Brooke change then we'll be ready to go?" She asked him.
"Are you sure you don't need my help?" He asked not wanting to leave.
"It's okay we'll only be a minute." I said to him in a loving voice. He leaned in and kissed my forehead like I had done to him earlier and quietly walked out of the room.
"What's going on in your head B. Davis?" She gently asked me untying my hospital gown.
"I'm exhausted." I said in a tired voice.
"Once we get out of here you can sleep the rest of the day and night." Peyton said slowly turning me around seeing all the horrific damage for the first time. Like I expected she gasped in horror seeing my stomach covered in black and purple bruises. My legs where the gown was covering were now exposed and she saw the blood stain on them as well as more bruising.
"I don't even know what to say Brooke." She admitted ashamed.
"No one just knows how to deal with this stuff it's fine." I said looking down embarrassed. Contrary to what everyone has always thought about me I feel embarrassed any time I just strip down in front of someone, and now especially when I look like this the only few people who I would be comfortable enough to look like this in front of are Peyton and Nathan. They've been there the longest and I trust them the most. I love Lucas and Haley too, but I think I'd be too much of a mess in front of them like this.
"It's not fine I need to be here for you and know when to say all the right things to make you feel better and do all the things that make you happy." Peyton explained trying not to break down. At this point I just cried without trying to stop myself I was so emotionally fucked up at the moment I didn't care.
"You're doing everything right I couldn't ask for a better sister." I said emotionally putting my arms through the sleeves of the pink t-shirt she brought me.
"I could never ask for a better sister Brooke." She said kneeling down accepting my dirty underwear that I pushed down my legs she helped me into a clean pair and then some gray sweat pants that hung loose on me so there wasn't any added pressure to my bruises.
"You always deserve better I still can't believe this happened to you." Peyton said wiping her damp cheeks.
"It's one of the worst pains you can ever feel." I said honestly opening up to Peyton.
"I'm sure it is so I want to make sure that you stay on top of taking your medicine so that you never have to feel that pain again." She said placing her hands on my shoulders. I knew when psycho Derek attacked her she'd been hurt pretty bad and then the second time on prom it was very bad again, so she could almost relate to me, but not quite. She wouldn't know what it was like to feel like you were the most worthless thing on the planet. Or know what it felt like to be truly alone. Because when I had no one she had Nathan, and then when I had Lucas she had him more. And then again when Peyton had Lucas, and Haley had Nathan I had no one. Well I guess I had Rick. That was the only thing I could count on was him finding me and hurting me.
"Brookie?" Peyton questioned in a light voice. I looked at her with a cloudy vision.
"I space out sorry." I apologized and she shook her head furiously back and forth.
"You have nothing to be sorry for I'm taking care of you and everything is going to okay I promise you." She said determined. I looked into her green eyes and believed her. No matter what either one of us has done to the other I know she will be there and there will never be a question about that, because even when I hated her and wanted her out of my life she was still always there. She's never going to leave me.
"That's all I've ever wanted." I said sobbing and holding onto her. Peyton was definitely trying to be gentle holding me, but I had a death grip on her as we both sobbed for the millionth time together.
Later that night I got discharged and we went to Luke's house. As soon as we got there Karen offered me a shower and helped me get ready for it with the assistance from Peyton. I took an extremely long shower just letting the hot water cleanse me. I couldn't help it I felt so dirty after everything Rick had done. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I still feel like I should have prevented this and not just the most recent attack. Back when I was nine he was way too strong and after each time he raped me a little piece of me died and after awhile I wanted to give up. I stopped feeling all together and let it happen because I thought there was no way to stop it.
One of the best days of my life was when he got transferred to a different department that was in Florida. I finally thought I was free, but just like any other good thing in my life it had to get ruined.
I stepped out of the shower and took my time drying myself off being gentle around all the sensitive spots. I stared at myself for a minute until a knock at the door brought me out of my trance. Not seeming to mind that I was only in a towel at this point I tentatively opened the door to Lucas who was holding a small pile of clothes that Peyton had brought from the apartment.
"I also thought you might want this." He said sweetly as he pulled out his gray sweatshirt that said "Keith's Body Shop" on it. I obviously knew what that sweatshirt meant to him and smiled at the memory of the times I wore it while we were dating.
"Thank you." I whispered accepting the clothes.
"Anytime Pretty Girl." Lucas smiled and I nodded shutting the door to change.
I walked into Lucas's room to find Nathan and Peyton arm wrestling. I immediately broke out into a smile because Peyton was doing some serious trash talking.
"You're pathetic Scott where are the muscles?" She joked and he just smirked at her and I knew what was coming. He forced her hand down hard on top of the bed.
"What were you saying Sawyer?" He taunted and I loved seeing him look care free even if it was for a few minutes at a time.
"I let you win." Peyton dismissed earning a laugh from Lucas and Nathan.
"I bet Brooke would beat all of you." Karen said from behind me while she held Lilly. Everyone turned to look at us.
"I'd put my money on Brooke any day." Peyton shot up and came over to me.
"How was your shower?" She asked concerned. Peyton was a born mom I couldn't wait for her to actually have kids.
"It felt great." I responded honestly. It was exactly what I needed.
"You look good." Peyton said positively and I knew she was trying to make this all better, but we all could see that I did not look good.
"Not as good as you Goldilocks." I joked and she rolled her eyes playfully at me.
"Whatever B. Davis." She said and planted a light kiss on my cheek before going back to sit with Lucas on his bed.
"Do you want something to eat Brooke?" Karen asked and at the moment nothing sounded that good, but I couldn't remember the last time I ate anything.
"Yeah but I don't know what I want." I laughed and she just smiled that understanding smile of hers.
"I know just what to make you, I've made it for Lucas all his life any time he wasn't feeling that great and it always made him feel better." Karen said looking at him. I saw him nod at her indicating that was what she should make.
"It's perfect mom." He said. Just as she turned to leave I stopped her.
"Everything okay?" She asked and I had to love her for her motherly instincts.
"I'm fine...I was just wondering if while you made the food...could I hold Lilly?" I asked embarrassed. Before Jamie was the only baby I'd ever held so I didn't have the most experience, but I knew what to do. When Karen didn't say anything I thought she was going to reject me, but she handed Lilly over without a word.
I positioned her so her head was on my shoulder while she slept and I looked at Karen who looked on proudly at me. For the first time in my life I felt like I had done something right and had a mother to be proud of me.
"I'll be back in to check on you guys after awhile." Karen said and it looked like she was choking up a little bit. In return I saw Peyton tear up and before you knew it so was I.
"Peyton if we cry anymore today I think it'll be a world record." I said joining the others on the bed. Lilly was so content and I finally relaxed leaning my head on Nathan's shoulder while he rubbed Lillie's back gently.
"This picture looks pretty perfect." Peyton whispered to Lucas who nodded in agreement.
"I don't know how we all got so messed up but I do love where we all are now." Lucas whispered back as he noticed both Nathan and Brooke falling asleep.
"Is Haley coming over?" Peyton asked.
"I told her that we were all here, but she's with Chris and Jamie." He responded.
"Do you think she's still getting hurt by this?" Peyton wondered out loud. "I mean she saw them at the hospital and Nathan said they had a good talk."
"I don't think Haley will ever be completely over this, but I don't think Nathan will either. Too much has happened between them and I know that they aren't in love anymore so it would ruin their lives to force themselves to be together." Lucas reasoned.
"It is a messed up situation, but it does seem right." Peyton mused and then she smiled as Nathan's hand found Brooke's on the bed while her other hand stayed put on Lillie's back.
"I think for the first time ever, everyone is with who they're supposed to be with. And with our pasts it doesn't seem like that would ever happen." Lucas laughed and Peyton joined in.
"I hope she's okay." Peyton sighed as she noticed movement under Brooke's eye lids.
"It might take a little time but she'll be fine. She's a fighter." Lucas said with certainty.
"She's definitely going to make something of herself someday and the world doesn't even know it." She said never letting her eyes leave her best friend.
"Oh the world is about to be taken for the ride of a life time with Brooke Davis telling everyone what to do." He said knowing that he wrote that in his book about her.
"So what's your mom making that's so special?" Peyton asked having a feeling it would be delicious since Karen was such a great cook.
"Spaghettios!" Lucas laughed. Peyton's eyes grew wide not believing him.
"What?" She asked smiling.
"Every time I got sick or didn't feel well about something she would make me those and I'd feel better and go play basketball then I'd be fine." Lucas explained.
"Wow that's awesome." Peyton agreed picturing the whole thing perfectly. "My mom used to make me spaghettios."
"It's the one thing that can make anyone feel better." Lucas said as his mom came in with a tray full of bowls with steaming spaghettios in them. Peyton jumped up to grab it from her.
"Those two are adorable together." Karen commented as she watched the sleeping teenagers hold her daughter together.
"I don't know how I never saw it earlier." Peyton said handing Lucas his bowl.
"Sometimes we don't know that the love of our lives are right in front of us until the very last second." Karen whispered looking at the resemblance between Lilly and Keith.
"He always loved you." Lucas said holding one of Peyton's hands and one of his mom's hands. Karen smiled sadly and kissed his hand before releasing it.
"I'm just glad you four have figured it out now so that there won't be any confusion later on." She said watching her son smile at his girlfriend. "And for the record Peyton I knew he loved you back when he was 12 and he saw you playing at the park. He couldn't stop talking about the little girl with the curly blonde hair."
"Mom come on!" Lucas defended as the girls laughed.
"I've known since the day he fixed my car on the side of the road when I was 16." Peyton reminisced.
"Yeah Keith was going to take the call, but as soon as he said Peyton Sawyer's car broke down I took the keys right out of his hand." Lucas laughed.
"I think we should let them sleep, but they can eat when they wake up." Karen suggested taking the tray with Nathan and Brooke's bowls on it.
"We'll come out with you and leave them alone." Lucas said as he ushered them out of the room leaving his brother, sister, and ex-girlfriend now best friend alone to get some much needed peaceful sleep.
Yes another somewhat filler chapter, but next time things will be picked up farther in the summer! Please drop a review even though it's been so long. =) I love you guys and thanks so much for tolerating me and my absence!!