Distractions
by Nirvana
Summary: He thinks and he knows he should be home with his wife, with their child, but he was suddenly, painfully aware of the deep plunge in her dress, the sweet aroma of her perfume, the gleam of her glossed lips. Her voice was like honey. He wanted to drown it.
1.
Contrary to popular belief, there has always been something between them. The lingering touches, the meaningful glances, the secret smiles were all things he could easily turn a blind eye to, reason away with made up logic and explanations. However, on the night before his wedding day, it only seemed befitting that every single line and boundary before them was smeared and blurred to an unrecognizable mess.
Even as he stood at the altar, the bridal march reaching the highest peaks of the church, his eyes training on his wife to be, he remembered every detail and moment from last night. His mind was unceremoniously flinging him to the past.
He remembered lips and skin, wanting her and wanting in. He remembered savoring the long moan she pressed against the tender flesh of his neck, the burn of her touches hours after their fleeting encounter, her mouth working feverishly against his, kissing him until he could no longer breathe.
Last night, he drowned helplessly in the sweet taste of her, willingly becoming addicted the curves and slopes of her body, the sound of his name on her lips as she moaned and gasped and whimpered his name, her-
He was pulled away from his wondering thoughts when he heard the loud applause from their honored guests.
The wedding was over.
He was a married man now.
But he didn't recall reciting his practiced vows, saying 'I do,' and kissing his new wife.
What Yusuke remembered was taking the risk let to his eyes stray to the maid of honor staring intently at him. Botan smiled knowingly as his gaze darted to her lips, pink, plump, and absolutely delectable. He wondered if they still tasted of strawberries.
Finally, as he took the hand of his bride, as they started down the aisle, he knew last night would not be the final time he had the pleasure of kissing those lips.
-
2.
They see each other whenever they can.
At the local park, beneath the cover of the moonless, dark nights.
In his kitchen, his bathroom, his living room when his wife stepped out to run errands.
In Reikai when she couldn't make it to human world.
One day, though Botan was reluctant, they had sex in his bedroom. He slid into her but her mind had been on faraway things, like the beautiful picture of Yusuke's smiling wife, the pretty bed sheets and drapes and adornments tastefully done by that wife's very hands, the dull sting of his wedding band digging into her flesh of her hip. All the images mocked her, she reasoned: the photograph, the wedding ring, their, not her bedroom.
Still, if only for this moment, she could not bring herself to feel guilty, even as she discreetly, purposefully knocked over the portrait, clawed hard at bed sheets, and gently rested her own hand against his wedding ring.
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3.
"My wife's pregnant."
He eyed her carefully, hoping to catch some kind of reaction run across her features. He saw nothing. Or rather, she did not allow him to see.
"What does that have to do with me?" she asked, bored.
"I…" he trailed off, truly lost for words. They both knew he had never, ever been the type to beat around the bush. He got to the point quickly and efficiently. He was honest, brash, and harsh. For both their sakes, it was easier that way. But for some unexplainable reason, he was rambling on with excuses that horribly disguised what he was really trying to say.
"So it's really not going to work between us. I don't feel as strongly for you as you do for me…"
I never really felt anything for you at all. I just had you wrapped around my finger.
"You know…before…I was scared about marriage and about being a husband. I was scared of change. I guess I kind of panicked and tried to find an escape. But now, I want to be there for my wife."
I was using you to have some fun. Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm actually ready to do something with life instead of being a good for nothing.
"We really think this baby's going to change everything, make us better. She's three months along. We've been spending a lot of time together, patching things up and I…I hope you can be happy for us."
I really don't have anymore use for you as my place-holder. Do me a favor and just get lost for awhile.
He leaned down to place a kiss against her cheek, hesitated, then awkwardly patted her arm before he was gone. There was an empty space he once occupied, an emptiness in her heart she couldn't explain. But Botan wished she could wash away and snuff out every memory she had of Yusuke, dispose of them just effortlessly as he did her.
-
4.
He was at her doorstep twelve months later. In her bed five minutes after that.
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5.
Sometimes, when he was tender in bed, when he whispered in her ear, held her close, and made her feel beautiful, part of her knew she loved him.
Sometimes, when she spotted him kissing his wife, when he was a bit too rough with her, when he looked through her instead of at her, another part of her knew she hated him.
Sometimes, though she hated to admit it, she thought of the life they could have had if only he had seen her first.
"I'm jealous of her, you know," Botan confessed against his bare shoulder, raining kisses on his flesh, relishing in the afterglow. "Your wife, that is."
Brow raised, Yusuke stared down at her, his hands lazily tracing her legs. "Why?"
Botan knew she could be honest for once; say every dark secret she had kept so close to her heart. She wanted to tell him she was a very possessive woman, tell him that she wanted him every morning, every night, and everyday. She wanted to run away with him, to love him and be loved by him and be happy with him.
Then again, Botan also knew she was far too old to believe in such things and Yusuke was far too selfish to choose. So instead, she smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.
"Why, I wonder," she replied.
-
6.
She kissed him fully on the mouth, used her fingers to slowly trace the curve of his neck. It only took a few moments before he gave a low moan and parted his lips against her triumphant smirk. She sucked at his lower lip, bit at the skin until she brought another groan from him; a pleasurable noise that sounded against the hand pressed to his throat.
She rewarded him with the deliberate slide of her tongue against his, a free hand traveling up to rake through his hair, her body moving languidly against his. Their mouths moved together easily, perfectly, and she found it amazing they still needed this just as much as the first time, the second, the fourteenth, the hundredth.
They tumbled from the couch and onto the floor in a heap of limbs and clothes, breathing harshly as they finally released one another. He gazed down at her, carefully observing her flushed skin, the collecting beads of perspiration, her swollen lips.
I did that. It was what he wanted to say. No one else but me can do this to her.
As he expected, she began to squirm under his scrutiny. "What is it?"
"What are you trying to do?"
Her face was serious. "Seduce you," she answered.
He smirked, just the way she liked him to: one side of his mouth quirked up while the other remained perfectly still. "Why? You're never this bold," he accused. "Shouldn't you let me handle that?"
In return, Botan wrapped her legs around his torso and undid his tie with nimble fingers. She never let her eyes stray from his, even as she smiled. "Shouldn't you be at home? It is past your curfew, after all," she shot back.
He thinks and he knows he should be home with his wife, with their child, but he was suddenly, painfully aware of the deep plunge of her dress, the sweet aroma of her perfume, the gleam of her glossed lips. Her voice was like honey. He wanted to drown in it. He wanted to drown in her.
Yusuke's smirk only widened as he worked at the straps of her dress. "Seduce me then," he challenged.
Her laughter was something he fondly remembered weeks after.
-
7.
"The bastard's cheating on me," the wife bit out, cradling a sleeping toddler in her arms. For once, she was not the picture perfect woman Botan had conjured her up to be. Her hair was askew, she was pale, and her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. "He's seeing someone else."
"You don't know that," Botan reasoned calmly. "You've been very stressed lately, with your job and your child. Maybe it's all in your head-"
"What would know!" she exclaimed, startling her child into a crying fit. "When was the last time you were married, Botan? Exactly! Never! I, on the other hand, know what the hell I'm talking about! So don't! Don't you dare patronize me!"
She gnawed at her lips, balled her hands into fists and steadily met her friend's angry gaze. It was difficult, Botan realized suddenly, trying to act sympathetic and knowing she couldn't care less about this woman's distress.
The wife's eyes pooled with tears as she soothed the toddler back to sleep with sweet murmurs and lullabies. The tears eventually came, streamed like rivers down her flushed cheeks. For Botan, witnessing this woman give into her true emotions was too surreal for her liking.
"I'm sorry," she finally said, shaking. "I just…I don't know what to do anymore. My marriage is falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore."
Soundlessly, Botan covered the space between them and enveloped the wife in a gentle hug. She held her, rocked her and her child until the sobs and the tears ceased. It was only a matter of time before her friend returned the embrace, glancing up at her through damp, matted bangs.
"Botan," she started carefully. "Do you…do you know who she is?"
She didn't answer and the wife didn't expect her to. Instead, Botan noticed her reflection in the vanity's mirror in the corner of the bedroom. She studied herself for a long time and was awed at what she found there. She didn't know why but she suddenly felt as if she was being ripped from her old body and shoved into another. The wife was right to question. Botan did not know who this woman was. All she knew was that she no longer wanted to be her.
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8.
Not everything is about the sex.
Every now and then, they have their gentle, furtive moments.
Like when Botan clings to him, holds him until she can feel her chest ache.
Or when Yusuke looks at her, smiles and looks at her as if he would do anything for her.
And when they share kisses so tender, no one and nothing in the world matters.
During those moments, the hopes they buried in their hearts so long ago do not seem so distant.
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9.
When the wife finally did discover the truth, she was not as stunned or as infuriated or as jealous as she wanted to be. In fact, she thought she may have known from the very beginning, when she glimpsed a lingering embrace between her husband and her maid of honor, something she was never meant to see.
Even still, it hurt her to realize she was never the one he loved in the first place, never the woman he needed in that way.
"My husband does not want me," she whispered slowly, close to her chest, tasting the words in her mouth. "He doesn't want me."
For the seven years they were married, she allowed herself to cry for seven days. Then late one night, while he slept, she gathered her belongings, took their child, and left without another word or a second glance. Yusuke did not love her but life would go on. She was finally ready to move on.
She had no regrets.
-
10.
"I can't do this anymore," he announced, voice determined, even as he nipped at her neck, loosened the obi of her kimono, let his eyes linger on the curve of her breasts. "I can't do this."
"Do what?" she demanded, her anger laced in every bite and kiss she rained upon his skin and his lips.
He gestured helplessly between them, pausing briefly to grip at her shoulders. "Stop this," he commanded. He was not surprised when she delivered a hard slap to his face. Quite frankly, he wondered what had taken her so long to do it. "Botan…"
"Shut up!" she hissed warningly. "I would have let you go the first time you left but not again! You want to stop? Stop what? This," she thrust against him and he clutched at her waist to keep her still, bit his tongue to keep from moaning her name. He cursed under his breath. "Or do you want to stop feeling guilty? Do you actually want to start being loyal to your wife? Don't you get it now? This," she leaned down to kiss him roughly, desperately, "will never stop."
"It has to," he argued, literally trying to shake some sense into her. "My wife wants a divorce. She wants to take my kid away from me!"
Her eyes narrowed considerably. "Your wife and your kid," she scoffed. "It's been seven years since you married her, five since you've been a father. Those facts never stopped you from always coming back here, now did they?"
Before he could respond, her mouth was claiming his again. Only this time, they were soft, slow, and gentle movements that made his breath catch. When she pulled away, her fingers skimmed his cheek.
"Then what about me?" she inquired. "What about what I want?"
His heart was pounding as he scrutinized her. "What do you want?"
She grasped his hand and pressed her forehead to his. "I want this, Yusuke. I want this. I want this."
He stared up at her for a long stretch of time, thinking, considering, debating until he sighed, defeated. When he placed his hand against her hip, used his other to ease her kimono off her shoulders, it was only then Botan allowed herself to breathe.
-
Author's Notes: Yeah…this came out of nowhere. I had to write it down and do something with it. This is the finished product. Plus, it's been forever since I've written a Yusuke/Botan fic. I've missed them dearly. Please, let me know what you think. Suggestions, criticism, praise or whatever floats your boat. Maybe I'll return with something better in the near future. Thanks!