A/N: As always, thanks to KittyLynne for her masterful beta work, and my apologies for posting this so much later than I had anticipated. The end of the summer got in the way.

Miaka leaned back against the tree closest to her and sagged in relief. Her face ached from the smile she had worn all morning, and her eyes were stinging from unshed tears. Now finally, blissfully alone, she was able to drop the mask and allow the pain to show.

She remembered everything. She wished to Suzaku that she didn't. She'd actually been happy- happy- during the weeks she'd spent in Chichiri and Tasuki's company. And that felt like the greatest betrayal of all. How could she have been content when Tamahome no longer existed in this world orher own?

Chichiri had told her this morning, gently, after she had begged to know. Tamahome had followed her to her world. He had died. That was all he knew, he explained hesitantly, and she had understood from the rough grief so apparent in his eye that it was the truth. If she wanted more details than that- and she did-, she would not be able to get them from her seishi.

She had waited for Tamahome for five years before she was hospitalized, and another three had passed while she was in treatment. She'd lived without him for eight years. So why was she trembling as though she had lost him only yesterday?

She slid down, the rough bark scratching her back through the silk tunic, and buried her face in her hands. How could she have forgotten him? Even though she had no memory of the others, she had never believed that his image could be wiped so completely from her mind. Even worse, she had fallen in love with another man in the interim! What sort of person was she?

She moaned, the sound muffled against her palms, and let the tears come.

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"Wait! No! Not-"

Thud! The impact of the falling wall shook the earth beneath their feet. Several of the bandits cheered, slapping each other on the back for a job well done.

"- that wall, no da," Chichiri finished weakly, slumping in defeat.

Kouji realized the problem almost immediately, looking up from the paper on which he had been scribbling a haphazard design. "What th'- oh shit! Move! Get outta th' way!" He gestured wildly, his eyes wide with alarm. The bandits fled as the remaining walls swayed slightly before collapsing upon themselves gracefully. A cloud of dust mushroomed up from the sandy ground as the last boards landed with a clatter.

"Ya morons!" Kouji yelled. "That was a support wall!"

The monk surveyed the remains of his cottage mournfully, the mask mirroring his dismay. "Sweet Suzaku," he murmured, leaning into the firmly planted shakujō, "give me strength."

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Tasuki wasn't one for introspection, under normal circumstances. He was a man ruled by emotion, spontaneity, impulse, and in many cases, sake, and he rarely stopped to think about the consequences of his actions, often to his fellow seishi's chagrin. Nevertheless, and even though he had never faced a situation like this, every cell of his being was screaming out for him to do it right time, which meant two things. One, he was going to think this through before acting. And two, he wasn't going to fuck it up if he could at all help it, which circled right back around to number one.

All this explained why he was off tromping through the woodlands around Chichiri's village while his bandits were hard at work. Normally he'd have stripped off his shirt and dived right into helping them as a way of reconnecting with his men. But last night's revelation had changed things on so many levels.

What would Miaka think of him now, he wondered, stifling a groan at the thought of the kiss they had shared at Taiitsukun's palace. Gods, how was he ever going to face her? At the very least, he could expect that she would slap him silly for coming on to her, now she knew of their respective histories with Tamahome.

No, he backpedaled quickly. Miaka was too kind and wouldn't smack him, even though he deserved so much more. He deserved every accusation and insult she could possibly hurl at him. What had he been thinking, kissing her, taking advantage of her infirmity and her trust? Hadn't Suzaku chosen him to protect the miko? What the fuck was he doing in exploiting that?

But then again, didn't Suzaku want him to exploit that relationship now? How else was he supposed to keep the great scarlet chicken around for future generations? Tasuki slapped the palm of his hand against his forehead.

"Stupid, stupid idiot!" He growled.

As if his own problems weren't enough, he had to deal with the angst of Grandma and her feathered friend. It wasn't fucking fair. The things he was really good at were fighting, roasting things with his tessen, drinking, brawling, and banditry. He was definitely not good at figuring out romantic entanglements or solving the existential problems of a god and an old lady with the face of a Shar Pei!

He took a deep breath, and tried to clear his mind of anything that did not relate to the problem at hand. The facts. He was in love with Miaka. Suzaku chose him to protect Miaka. Miaka loved Tamahome, but she had become attracted to him during her memory loss. In order to save Suzaku, Miaka would need to fall in love with him and truly want to stay with him, forsaking her world.

As before, it all came back to loyalty. To whom did he owe his?

Tasuki pushed up the sleeve of his tunic and stared at the yoku that was now clearly visible on his forearm. Did this mark him as belonging to Suzaku or to Miaka? His stomach churned with anxiety as he considered the implications of that choice.

Gritting his teeth, he moved a little faster, the slight breeze drying the sheen of sweat against his skin. He wished for the carefree days when he and Kouji had lived together at the stronghold, neither of them worrying about anything more than being the best bandit possible. But then the Boss had gotten sick and everything had become infinitely more complicated. Who would ever have thought it all would lead to a lowly bandit holding the fate of a god in his hands?

He still hadn't figured out what to do when he heard the shouts coming from the direction of Chichiri's cottage. Adrenaline rushed through him as he called forth his seishi speed and raced towards his friends.

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Reina coughed politely in an unobtrusive attempt to announce her presence to the woman crouched down against the tree.

It worked. Miaka hurriedly wiped her eyes and rose to her feet, pasting on a bright smile as she did so. "Oh, hello. I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone was here."

"No need to apologize. I'm the one who's intruded," Reina answered, tilting her head slightly as she considered the remarkable young woman standing before her, wondering what meeting her could mean for her own life.

The silence stretched out and became strained. The miko fidgeted.

"So. You've seen my mother." She finally said.

Reina inclined her head. "Yes."

"How-" Miaka broke off, started again. "How is she?"

"Very scared," Reina answered bluntly. Her heart ached for the confused young woman before her, but she was owed the truth. "She's worried how you'll cope being away from the hospital."

The miko shook her head vehemently. "I'm not sick! I don't-"

"I know. Don't worry, I'm not going to take you back against your will." As Miaka sighed in relief, the corner of Reina's mouth curved upward in a crooked smile. "Besides," she continued blithely, "if I ever tried taking you away that hotheaded seishi of yours, he'd kill me!"

The investigator smirked inwardly as a light flush infused the miko's cheeks. As she had suspected, that was the lay of the land.

"Tasuki has a good heart," Miaka defended her warrior and friend. Now it was her turn to smile at the look of disbelief on Reina's face.

"I'll take your word on that," the older woman replied dryly, reaching out to pluck a leaf from a low-hanging branch. "So, got any ideas on how I can get back home?"

"How did you get here to begin with?" Miaka blurted, then slapped a hand over her mouth in shock. "I'm sorry, that was rude."

Reina chuckled and shredded the leaf, allowing the bits to fall to the forest floor. "No, not at all. It's a valid question, and I'm sorry to say the answer involves breaking into your friend Ms. Hongo's apartment."

"Yui! How is she?"

"She seems fine. She misses you and she's protecting your secret very well. I wouldn't have known about the book had I not bugged her apartment."

Miaka gasped. "You what?"

Reina shrugged. "It's my job. I thought that you needed help at the time, so I did what I had to do to find you. Would you like me to apologize for that?"

Miaka turned her head away, and then peered out of the corner of her eyes. "Suppose I say yes?"

"I would refuse." Reina replied firmly, but smiled to take the edge off.

To her surprise, Miaka laughed; a hesitant and shaky laugh at best, but it was genuine. "You remind me of Yui, Ms. Kimura. I would have liked to have heard the conversation between the two of you."

"Call me Reina, please. And yes, it does appear we're both stubborn and hardheaded, doesn't it?" The investigator said cheerfully. "Quite honestly, I liked your friend. She's got moxie!"

Miaka's smile grew wider. "She'd appreciate hearing that. I'll have to tell her."

"So you have been thinking of going back?" Reina asked bluntly, and the younger woman's smile disappeared.

"I...maybe. I don't know. In any case, I suppose we should go see Taiitsukun. If anyone knows how to get you back to our world, it would be her."

Reina stared hard at Miaka, who lowered her eyes and bit her lower lip. "You know, I'm really not in any particular hurry to get back, Ms. Yuuki. You've been through a lot, and just went through reliving a traumatic set of circumstances. If you need more time to make your decision, just say the word."

"I think I would like more time, if that's all right. And please, call me Miaka."

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Knowing that she'd been given control over her situation, Miaka felt the tension between herself and the investigator ease. As the minutes ticked by, she was delighted to find that Reina was good company, and that the investigator's bluntness and perception was not always something to fear.

By the time they decided to walk back to Chichiri's cottage, they had attained a camaraderie that was based on more than a shared home world. However, that pleasant surprise was replaced by blank shock when they broke through the tree line to discover that the small dwelling had been reduced to a pile of lumber.

The bandits were standing in small clusters around the pile of rubble. While Chichiri and Kouji stood off to one side looking at the contents of a scroll that the blue-haired bandit held, Tasuki was in full rant mode, striding back and forth between the groups of contrite men as he flailed his arms and occasionally pointed to the demolished house.

As she watched him, Miaka's breath caught in her chest; he was so beautiful that it almost hurt to look at him. The sunlight gleamed off the coppery highlights in his thick hair in a way that she could have sworn that it was actually a golden halo. The muscles of his strong legs flexed as he moved, the tight breeches clinging to them. His sleeves were rolled up, and as he gestured she could see the yoku on his forearm, the mark that signified he was one of Suzaku's warriors, chosen to protect her.

The vision came suddenly, blocking out her vision so she could see only Tamahome's face as he gestured to the oni on his forehead.

"I know now why I exist. I exist because of you, Miaka!"

She took a step backwards and the image faded to the flame-haired bandit as he strode purposefully around the clearing. Get it together, Miaka, she berated herself. You're of no use to anyone like this!

It was in that moment that Tasuki met her eyes. She could feel a blush coming on as he stopped abruptly in his pacing, then felt it drain away as he blanched and just as quickly turned away from her to resume his rebuke of the dismayed bandits.

Her thoughts raced back to a gloriously sunny day in Taiitsukun's courtyard. She'd been so forward with him- she'd kissed him! What must he think of her? She'd been so completely wanton that he probably couldn't bear to look at her now. She'd used her grief to foist herself on him...

Wait. What about him? He'd been telling her...

She reached out and gripped Reina's arm, hard, as realization flooded through her. Tasuki had just learned about Tamahome's death. He'd talked to her about it, taking care not to let too much slip, for fear of hurting her. How hard that must have been for him!

And then she had thrown herself at him.

"Oi, Miaka, are you all right?"

Miaka could barely hear the investigator's concerned voice over the rushing in her ears. She shook her head, not in reply to the question, but to try to clear her thoughts. She was dimly aware that Reina was leading her gently to the small pile of household goods that had been cleared, and where several chairs were neatly stacked.

"It's okay. I'm fine." Her voice sounded like it was coming from very far away, and a small part of her mind was puzzled, sure that she had not spoken. "I think I want to go for a walk along the shore."

"I'll come with you."

"No. I'll be fine," she said vaguely. "I just need... to think." Her gaze sought out Tasuki once more, and Reina patted the hand that was still clutching at her arm before detaching it gently.

"Don't stray too far away, hmm? I don't want Red taking my head off if you get eaten by a bear or something."

Miaka tried to smile at her before turning towards the lake and solitude.

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Chichiri could have been having a better day. He could have been fishing, or meditating, or grinding incense, or even paring his fingernails; any of those would top the experiences in home repairs thus far. He sighed and ran a hand across the mask, over the eye that was gritty from lack of sleep. It didn't help with the mask in the way, but old habits were hard to break.

"So whadda ya think?" Kouji asked, using a blackened stick to point to the design with a flourish.

Chichiri blinked a few times to bring the picture in focus. Surprisingly, it looked good, if they could get it built. A big if, he had to concede, after seeing the destruction of his small cottage.

"How long will it take, no da?" He asked Kouji, who stretched and then scratched the back of his neck.

"Well, we got access to th' materials right here, so I'd say three days if th' weather holds out."

"Let's get to it then," Chichiri said, trying to sound enthusiastic about the process.

The bandits had already separated the usable lumber from the rubble, so Kouji called out for Tasuki's assistance in "gettin' rid of th' junk". His fellow seishi grinned and pulled the tessen from its holder.

Out of the corner of his eye, Chichiri saw Reina move toward the rubbish heap, staring at the fan with unbridled curiosity. "Reina! You might want to back up a little, no da!"

She had just opened her mouth to ask why, when Tasuki's cry of "REKKA SHIN'EN!" lit up the clearing with crackling, fiery energy.

"Oh sh-!"

The investigator's eyes were wide and she swallowed her own curse as she leapt backwards a full two feet to keep from getting singed. Chichiri could hear Tasuki chortle over the popping of the wood.

When the fire had died, the bandit threw a mocking, fangy smirk towards the shaken woman, who met it with a livid glance.

"Jackass," she muttered, brushing bits of ash from her pants and scowling.

"Are you all right, Reina?" Chichiri inquired, feeling slightly guilty that he had been privately amused by the show.

"Yes." She replied shortly.

"I take it you are fostering a dislike for Tasuki."

"I don't know him well enough, but he does remind me of someone."

Her tone made it apparent that the matter wasn't up for questions or discussion. Chichiri took the hint and changed the subject.

"Where's Miaka? I saw her here just a moment ago."

"She wanted to take a walk on her own by the shore. Poor kid." She plopped down on the ground, further soiling her clothes, and Chichiri wondered why she had even bothered with cleaning the few spots of ash a moment earlier. "She's been through a lot."

"How is she?" He asked.

Reina furrowed her brow. "I'd say she's pretty torn up and trying hard not to show it. She seemed happy to hear about Ms. Hongo's involvement but she's upset at having to worry her mother."

Chichiri glanced sharply at her. "Will she be returning with you?"

"I gave her the choice, and she asked for time to think about it. And I wouldn't be in a hurry to return either if I were her, to be honest. They're going to try to lock her up again, you know."

"It's a difficult situation as I don't know how long Taiitsukun will allow her to stay here," Chichiri said quietly. "We never discussed it."

"Miaka also mentioned that name to me. Who is that?"

"The Controller of the Universe of the Four Gods."

"Ah, gotcha." Reina gave a short laugh. "Miaka knows some very important people."

Chichiri wasn't listening. "The miko always returns to her own world." He said distractedly. "Why would Taiitsukun send us to help Miaka unless she would be allowed the choice to stay? But why would she be able to stay now, and not before?"

"You're asking me?"

Reina's voice, slightly annoyed, pulled the monk from his musing. He offered an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I was mainly talking to myself, no da."

"Hey ya damn monk! Ya planning on sittin' around bein' useless, or are ya gonna give us a hand?"

As Tasuki's call rang out, the monk grinned. "That depends!" He responded, picking up one of the mallets from the pile and testing its weight. "Is your crew finished wrecking the place?"

"Well shit, they demolished yer whole house! What more can they do to it? " Tasuki laughingly pointed out. The bandits guffawed along with him, relieved that their boss had regained a semblance of good humor.

Chichiri was surprised to see Reina heft her own mallet and start towards the men. "What are you doing, no da?" he hurriedly asked, half worried she intended to brain his flame-haired friend.

She looked back over her shoulder at him, never breaking her stride. "They're rebuilding your house, right? Come on, we're wasting daylight!"

Chichiri considered pointing out that women didn't build houses, but thought twice and decided to keep quiet. For all he knew, in her world, perhaps they did. Miaka certainly hadn't let her gender keep her from anything she'd determined to do. Besides, if Reina were busy with wooden planks and mallets, perhaps she wouldn't notice him conferring with Tasuki regarding the miko. He waited until the newcomer was deep in conversation with Kouji- something about arches and support- before turning to his brother seishi to murmur, "Miaka's gone off on her own. You want to go, or should I?"

Tasuki stared down at his dusty boots before answering, "I'll do it. There's some stuff I need ta clear up with her anyway, an' it'll be easier without an audience." His head swung up just enough to glare in Reina's direction before studying his shoes once more.

Avoiding my gaze, Chichiri thought, and he would have been amused had his concern for Miaka not been overriding everything else. "Go on, then. She's down at the lake. I'll do what I can to keep Reina busy here, so you can have time to talk."

He reached out with his ki, and found that Miaka's presence was there, distressed, yes, but stable.

"You don't have to rush," he said in an offhand manner, knowing that Tasuki would understand what he meant. This wasn't going to be a repeat of Miaka's long-ago attempt to end her own life, and he was counting on his friend to make sure it stayed that way.

"All right, I'm goin', then. See if ya can't raise a few walls while I'm gone." Tasuki smirked as Chichiri waved his shakujō menacingly in the bandit's direction, then thrust his hands into the pockets of his pants and sauntered away, whistling.

The studied nonchalance in his stride didn't fool the monk one bit; he knew Tasuki only whistled when he was nervous. After murmuring a quick prayer for his friends, Chichiri turned his attention back to what remained of his cottage.