Part Ten
Johnny waited two days and went back again. Subaru hadn't even made it to the chair this time, he was lying on the floor just inside his apartment. "Subaru, you're an idiot," Johnny informed him, kneeling next to him. "Are you awake?"
"Nnngh?" Subaru moaned, opening his eyes.
"Wake up. When was the last time you ate?"
Subaru shrugged.
"Slept?"
"Passed out yesterday night," Subaru mumbled. "Or was it the night before?"
"Have you been working?"
Subaru nodded. "This morning."
Johnny got an arm around Subaru's shoulders and hauled him upwards.
"Where are we going?" Subaru asked vaguely.
"Out to dinner," Johnny lied. He hauled Subaru down the stairs and into a taxi, then quietly gave the driver Seishirou's address. By the time they got there, Subaru was only half-conscious. "C'mon." Johnny helped him out of the cab.
"Where are we?" Subaru asked.
"You'll see in a minute." Johnny took him inside and knocked on Seishirou's door. If Subaru was too dazed to recognize Seishirou's apartment building when he saw it, he was worse than Johnny had suspected. He knocked louder.
The door finally opened and Seishirou blinked in surprise. He looked terrible; though the circles under his eyes were nowhere near as bad as Subaru's, he definitely hadn't been sleeping well. "What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly.
"I told you to take care of him. You didn't," Johnny said sharply.
Seishirou looked at Subaru, and his eyes softened with concern for a minute. "What's wrong with him?"
"He hasn't eaten or slept since he left," Johnny said. "Do something about it."
Seishirou raised an eyebrow. "And how am I supposed to do that?"
"Find a way," Johnny told him. "Can we come in?"
Seishirou hesitated, then stood back to let them in. Johnny carefully laid Subaru down on the couch.
"Why hasn't he eaten or slept?" Seishirou asked.
"He misses you," Johnny stated flatly. "But he has this stupid love/hate thing going on. He can't figure himself out and his solution is to die slowly."
Seishirou blinked at this statement. "Subaru doesn't love me."
"He was lying."
"But why would he love me after what I did to him?" Seishirou's voice was confused.
"Because love is blind."
Seishirou laughed bitterly. "I understand that now. I understand a lot more than I used to. And even if Subaru does still love me, we can never be together. Not after what I did."
That was it; Johnny lost his temper. He marched up to Seishirou and grabbed the older man by the front of the shirt, yanking him down so they were eye to eye. "I've heard enough bullshit from him in the past week. I don't - " He punctuated this with a hard shake - "want to hear any from you. One of the two of you has to act like an adult here, and right now, it's you. Do you understand?" He gave Seishirou another shake and waited for an answer without letting go.
Seishirou stared at him in confusion. "Why are you doing this?" he finally asked. "You have to hate me as much as Subaru does."
"You think I'm doing this for you?" Johnny asked. "Sorry, but no. You got exactly what you deserved, and if I thought Subaru would make it on his own I'd be staying the hell away from you. But he's miserable, and killing himself slowly, and I won't lose another friend because of you."
Seishirou looked away.
"Now please get off your ass and do something useful about Subaru." Johnny let go of his shirt.
Seishirou finally regained his dignity. "And what would you suggest?"
"Start by feeding him. Or taking him to a doctor if he's still half-conscious tomorrow. Then before he has a chance to run, make him realize that he's not betraying his sister by staying with you."
"And if you couldn't do that, how do you suggest I do it?"
"I don't know. If Subaru means anything to you, figure it out. Haul Hokuto back here to talk to him if you have to."
Seishirou blinked. "I hadn't thought of that . . ." He thought back to the day he'd come back to Subaru doing the magic spell and started to curse. "That's what he was doing that day! He was talking to his sister!"
Johnny didn't know what he meant, and he didn't care. "Then drag her back again. If anyone could talk sense into him, she could."
Seishirou nodded thoughtfully. "I'll try." He caught Johnny's glare. "I promise. I'll take care of Subaru."
"Good. I'll be back tomorrow." Johnny turned and walked out of the apartment.
Seishirou blinked a few times, shaking his head. He was too dazed to even think, so he wandered into the kitchen and made some soup, then carried it out to Subaru. The younger man had fallen into a fitful doze, but he woke quickly enough when Seishirou pulled a chair next to the couch and sat.
"I brought you some soup," Seishirou said, deciding to deal with the emotional part of the problem later, and for now focus on the fact that Subaru hadn't eaten in five days. "It's just broth and rice; it shouldn't upset your stomach."
Subaru simply turned his face away.
Seishirou put the soup down on the end table, then put his hand under the Sumeragi's chin, making Subaru face him. "Subaru-kun. You're going to eat the soup. You certainly can't expect me to let you die."
Subaru shrugged away. "Why not?" His voice was bitter. Sandpaper.
"To begin with, I love you," Seishirou said firmly. "Secondly, your complete refusal to eat must mean something, and you're not going to die before I find out what."
Subaru glared up at him. "I'd think you're perfectly capable of figuring out what it means."
"Of course I am. You're being passively suicidal, and it's ridiculous."
"Shut up."
"I will, if you eat the soup."
Subaru gave him a venomous look, and took the soup. His hands were shaking, and his first spoonful resulted in more getting on his shirt than in his mouth. Subaru closed his eyes, trying to not look as embarrassed as he felt. His head was aching and dull. The world was foggy.
"Let me." Seishirou's voice didn't allow argument. He took the bowl and spoon from Subaru's hands and aimed a spoonful of soup at his mouth. Subaru stared at him for a second, then obediently opened his mouth and let Seishirou feed him the soup.
"Thank you," Seishirou said, sounding more satisfied than was good for him. He made sure Subaru ate the entire bowl, then put it down. "Now you should get some sleep."
Subaru's eyes were dazed. Seishirou put a hand on his forehead suspiciously, and confirmed his thoughts; Subaru had a fever. "I can't believe you were working in this condition," he told the Sumeragi.
Subaru shrugged.
"Let me get you some tea," Seishirou said. He went into the kitchen and returned a minute later with a mug of tea and some aspirin, then gave both of them to Subaru.
Subaru looked at them as if he wasn't sure what they were.
"Take the medicine, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said firmly.
Subaru grudgingly obeyed. Then he rubbed his eyes for a second and stood.
"Where do you think you're going?" Seishirou moved to stand between him and the door.
"Anywhere else," Subaru replied.
"Is my company that offensive?" Seishirou asked, sounding amused.
"Yes," Subaru snapped.
"Sorry, but you're not going anywhere." Seishirou smiled. "I'm not risking what Johnny would do to me if he found out I'd let you walk out of here in your current state of mind and body."
"Johnny can kill you for all I care," Subaru said, trying to push past him.
"Hardly, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, though inwardly he wasn't sure. He certainly wasn't afraid of Johnny, but the thought of another verbal beating was a little more than he could bear right now. "You're staying here where I can keep an eye on you."
"Make me." Subaru ducked under Seishirou's arms and headed for the door.
Seishirou grabbed him from behind, pulling the Sumeragi close to him. "Fine." He swung Subaru around and half-tossed him back onto the couch. "You're not going anywhere."
Subaru glared daggers at him and stood up again, prepared to try again.
Seishirou took hold of Subaru's shoulders as Subaru attempted to push past him, and drew the younger man into a hug.
Subaru let out a little gasp. Seishirou had him in a strong grip, and he was too weak and dazed to fight back. He gave up and let his face rest against Seishirou's shoulder.
I can have just this one moment, can't I? he thought vaguely. I can let it go for just one moment . . .
When he stopped struggling, Seishirou let him go, and they stood there facing each other for a minute. "Don't leave," Seishirou said.
"Why not?" Subaru asked softly.
Seishirou looked up with complete honesty. "Because I don't want to be alone."
Subaru stared at him for a second. "Seishirou-san . . ."
Seishirou saw it coming, and stepped forward quickly, catching Subaru as he passed out.
****
Seishirou lay on his back on the floor, simply not having the energy to go to his room, and, quite frankly, not wanting to leave Subaru. He had no idea what was going on, and he figured that until he managed to sit Subaru down for a reasonable discussion, he wasn't going to figure it out.
That was probably going to be a while.
He had a basic grasp of it, though; Subaru had planned his entire revenge and managed to pull it off, but, still being in love with Seishirou, hadn't been able to deal with it afterwards.
Do I ever owe Johnny one, Seishirou thought vaguely, staring at his ceiling. Subaru probably would've managed to kill himself if Johnny hadn't been there.
He didn't know what to think. After Subaru had left, he had forced himself to accept the fact that it had all been a lie. Now it had been dumped in his lap that it wasn't. He was confused.
Still, if he had learned anything in his twenty-five years on the planet, it was that when you were confused, you went to the experts. And there was only one person who had ever truly known what was going on between him and Subaru, even all the things neither of them had ever realized.
It had taken Subaru at least five hours to summon his sister; Seishirou couldn't estimate more exactly than that. Seishirou knew he was a more skilled medium, but Subaru was tied more strongly to his sister than Seishirou was, and Seishirou wasn't in the best of shape.
However, Subaru ought to sleep for a good nine hours or so, given his current condition. That would give Seishirou the time he needed.
He hauled himself to his feet, then looked down at Subaru, curled into a ball with his misery. He leaned down and kissed the Sumeragi's forehead. I'll fix this, Subaru-kun . . . don't worry.
****
Hokuto looked up in irritation. "Come on, not now," she whined. "I'm not dressed for the occasion . . ." The tugging got more insistent. "Look," she said to the unseen force. "I'm trying to drag my boyfriend out of a coma here, do you mind?"
Apparently whoever was on the other end of the 'jitsu did mind. The tugging increased.
"Oh, fine!" Hokuto cried, exasperated. She looked down at Kakyou. "I'll be back," she said, and there was a threat in the tone. "And you'd better be awake by then."
With that, she surrendered to the pull and let herself be dragged to the other end of the spell. She wasn't terribly surprised to find herself standing in the middle of Seishirou's living room. However, when she turned around and found Seishirou standing there rather than Subaru, she face-faulted to the floor.
"Ohayo, Hokuto-chan," Seishirou said, looking out the window and seeing that the sun was rising. His voice was dull with exhaustion. He felt like he'd been run over by a truck, and reflected than the affectionate suffix probably wasn't appropriate anymore, but old habits die hard.
Hokuto gaped like a fish for a second, then regained her composure. "SEI-CHAAAN!" she cried shrilly, and launched herself forward at the older man. Seishirou wasn't sure if she was trying to hug him, or trying to kill him. As it was, she went right through him and landed with a crash on the floor. Then she climbed to her feet, cursing. "I always forget that," she muttered. She dusted herself off, and her outfit rustled under her. "Well, Sei-chan?" she asked, turning imperiously to face him. "Isn't there something you should be saying to me?"
"I've never been any good at apologies," he said, only sounding a little pathetic. He ran his hands through his hair. "But Hokuto-chan . . . I am sorry."
"Not that, silly," she said. "I asked you to kill me, and anyway I already know you're sorry." She looked up her nose at him. When Seishirou still looked bewildered, she sighed in exasperation. "It's my birthday, Sei-chan."
Seishirou blinked at her and realized that now that it was dawn, she was right. It was her birthday. "Happy birthday, Hokuto-chan," he said after a moment. Then the light dawned. "But wait, that means it's Subaru-kun's - "
"You're really in for it," Hokuto nodded.
"It's not my fault," he said defensively. "Don't you know what's been going on?"
"Of course not," Hokuto said. "I've been trying to pry Kakyou out of his coma, and I was actually starting to make progress before I was interrupted. And I do have a life, you know." She examined the way that sounded. "Well, not quite, but there are other things to do on this side, you know." She brightened. "Some great stores. Like my outfit?" She did a quick pirouette.
"It's very nice," Seishirou said gravely. "Almost as nice as your brother's improved fashion taste."
Hokuto snickered. "But if you didn't want to wish me a happy non-birthday, since I suppose I don't have them anymore since I'm dead, and you didn't really seem to call me specifically to apologize for killing me, what did you want?"
He paused. "I need your help with Subaru."
Hokuto rolled her eyes. "What's he done now?"
"Maybe you ought to bring me up to date on the last thing you knew."
"Well," Hokuto said. "You two had finally managed to get over yourselves and do something useful, so I figured it was okay to leave for a while. It was about a week ago, I guess."
Seishirou rubbed his forehead. "That figures."
"Why, what happened?" Hokuto plopped onto the sofa and bounced upwards, and Seishirou watched in interest as she didn't bother to come down, but floated a few inches above the surface. Hokuto had obviously adapted fairly well to being dead.
He related the story to her, keeping it as brief as possible, though he knew at certain parts he couldn't keep the pain out of his voice.
Hokuto's face was priceless; a mix of shock, disgust, indignation, anger, and concern. Seishirou didn't think he'd ever seen so many emotions present on anyone's face at once. "He did what?!?"
Seishirou held up his hand to silence her and finished explaining. When he was finally done, Hokuto just floated there sputtering for a minute.
"That little . . . how could he . . . what did he think he was . . ." She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "I'm not related to him!"
"Yes, you are," Seishirou said firmly. "You'd better still be. You're the only hope I have. Johnny's a stubborn little bastard, and if he can't talk sense into Subaru, and I know I can't, you're the only person who's got a chance."
"Oh, you'd better bet I will!" Hokuto looked furious. "I told that little pipsqueak that it didn't matter what happened to me, as long as he was happy. What the hell did he think I got killed for, so he could wallow in misery? Betraying my memory is right!"
Seishirou managed a wan smile. "Why did you ask me to kill you?" He looked at her seriously for a minute. "Because I wouldn't have, if you hadn't. You know that, right?"
"Of course I do," Hokuto said. "I had my reasons, Sei-chan. I didn't want Subaru to end up in that smelly old Tree of yours. And I didn't know if you were planning on killing him or not, but it was a chance I couldn't take."
Seishirou looked at the floor. "I was," he said. "Planning on it, I mean." Then he shrugged. "But I don't think I would've been able to do it."
"So I suspected," Hokuto said with a smirk.
Seishirou shook his head ruefully. "You knew it all from the beginning, didn't you."
"Of course I did," Hokuto said, grinning brilliantly. "Really, though, Sei-chan, was all this necessary? You didn't have to do that to him."
Seishirou looked up at her. "I didn't know."
She regarded him seriously for a second. "You know what? I believe you."
"Thank you, Hokuto-chan." Seishirou felt a weight go rolling off his shoulders that he hadn't even realized was there. "I don't think I realized how much that would mean to me."
"I'm a damn sight more forgiving than my brother, that's for sure," Hokuto grumbled. "Now where is the little guttersnipe so I can talk some sense into him, or beat it into him if necessary?"
"Asleep in my room," Seishirou said. "I took him in there so I could do this undisturbed."
"Fine." Hokuto began to flounce out of the room, then turned. "You'd better come with me to wake him. I don't want him thinking he's died and in Heaven or anything stupid like that."
Seishirou nodded and followed her out of the room. Subaru was curled up on his bed with the blankets tucked up to his chin. Hokuto nodded approvingly and waited while Seishirou shook Subaru gently.
"Nnnngh," Subaru moaned. "Sleep . . ."
"Sorry, Subaru-kun. You have to wake up."
"Why?" Subaru asked blearily, rubbing his eyes.
"Someone's here to see you."
"Don't wanna." Subaru buried his face in the pillow.
"Yes you do." Seishirou peeled the blankets back. "Now sit up."
Subaru reluctantly sat up and saw his sister. "H-H-Hokuto-chan!" he stammered. The look on his face clearly read that he knew he was in for it. "How did you . . .?"
"I brought her here," Seishirou said. "Now, if nobody minds, I'm going to go take a nap."
Hokuto nodded and shooed him out of the room. "Go on, you look terrible."
"Thank you, Hokuto-chan."
"You're welcome. I'll take care of this."
Subaru looked nervous.
"Happy birthday, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, and left the room.
Hokuto turned and looked at her brother imperiously. "What do you think you're doing?"
Subaru shrugged, pulling his knees up to his chest and trying to look small.
"Don't you ignore me!" Hokuto said sternly. "I swear, if I keep having to come back from the dead to look after you, I'll . . . I don't know! But I'd certainly think that after what I said about Kakyou, you'd know better than to try suicide!"
"That's why I didn't," Subaru said weakly.
"Oh, don't give me that!" Hokuto said, thudding down onto the bed next to him. "Letting yourself die is no better than actively trying to get yourself killed. End of story. Why are you doing this?"
Subaru shrugged again. "Without Seishirou . . . there's nothing."
"And why do you have to be without Seishirou, hm?" Hokuto glared at him.
"Not you too," Subaru groaned.
"Subaru, did it ever occur to you that if everyone is telling you that you're being an idiot, maybe it's because you are?!"
Subaru blinked. "How can you, of all people, expect me to stay with Seishirou-san?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're desperately in love with each other?" Hokuto asked.
"It doesn't matter," Subaru snapped. "You've always been like this; you treat love like it's one big fix-all, cure-all that will solve all the world's problems. I know I love Seishirou-san, and I know he loves me, but that doesn't change anything. Love doesn't get you anywhere; if it did, Kakyou would've come out of his coma by now."
Hokuto went still.
Subaru's eyes went wide. "G-Gomen," he stuttered. "I didn't mean . . . I shouldn't have . . ."
"I've been sitting with him for days now," Hokuto said softly. "But he won't wake up. No matter how much I call to him, he won't wake up."
Subaru hid his face with his hands.
"Subaru, I know love doesn't fix everything," Hokuto said. "But it does more than you give it credit for. Do you truly love Seishirou-san?"
Subaru nodded.
"Then why can't you forgive him?"
"I don't know," Subaru asked, tears rolling down his cheeks, past all his efforts to stop them. "But whenever I start to . . . whenever I forget, and I feel happy, and it's just Seishirou-san and me . . . afterwards I always feel guilty."
"That's very silly of you, Subaru-chan," Hokuto said firmly. "There's no reason why you and Sei-chan shouldn't be together."
"He killed you," Subaru said flatly.
"Because I asked him to," Hokuto said. "He wouldn't have if I hadn't. He told me that, and I believe him."
"You're the one who said it's what he did to me that matters," Subaru said dully. "How can I forgive him for that?"
"Subaru . . ." Hokuto was silent for a long second. "Sei-chan said that you said he destroyed your chance at ever being happy."
Subaru nodded silently.
"You could be happy with him if you could let this go." Hokuto considered. "It's a circle, see? Like some weird math equation. You can't forgive him because you'll never be happy because of what he did, but if you could forgive him, then you would be happy, therefore as long as you can forgive him, there's nothing to forgive him for."
Subaru blinked, trying to follow this twisted logic. "Hokuto-chan, that makes no sense."
"Sure it does. You just don't want it to, because you know I'm right."
Subaru looked down. "I can't help what I feel, Hokuto-chan."
"But you got your revenge. Trust me, Sei-chan feels pretty lousy. You really had him believing you for a while. I don't think he's been sleeping much either; he looks wiped out. So why not leave it at that?"
Subaru said nothing.
"Now that he knows you were lying, he's not going to let this go," Hokuto said. "And that was a sneaky move of you, freeing his emotions and then pulling this off. But if Seishirou loves you, and I know he does . . . why can't you just go back?"
Subaru shrugged.
"Let me rephrase," Hokuto said. "If you don't go back, I'll boot you in the head until you agree."
"Thanks, Hokuto-chan," Subaru said.
"If you wanted revenge, you've gotten it," Hokuto said. "Now let it go, Subaru-chan. For all our sakes."
"It's wrong." Subaru rubbed the tears off his cheeks.
"But you said it yourself, you can't control what you feel. If you love Seishirou, that's not your fault. No one's blaming you for that, except yourself." She looked over at him. "But everyone's blaming you for not going back."
"I know," Subaru said.
"Talk to Sei-chan, okay?"
"All right."
Hokuto bounced off the bed. "'KAY! Thanks, Subaru-chan." With that, she skipped out of the room.
Seishirou came in a minute later with some breakfast and a mug of tea. "How are you feeling, Subaru-kun?"
"Better," Subaru replied. He accepted the tea, but didn't touch the food, and flinched away as Seishirou put a hand on his forehead.
"Your fever's gone down," Seishirou said with a nod.
Subaru nodded and paused thoughtfully. "Is my sister still here?"
"Yes. She said she was going to wait and make sure you didn't start being stupid again. Her words, not mine."
"But you agree," Subaru said.
Seishirou shrugged. "You're no more an idiot than I am."
Subaru looked at him. "How so?"
Seishirou raised an eyebrow. "I had a beautiful, intelligent, caring person in love with me, and I threw that away like it was meaningless. Would you call that a smart move, Subaru-kun?"
Subaru blushed and looked into his tea mug. "I-I suppose not."
"Then I think we're on the same level," Seishirou said with a nod. "We've both made some mistakes."
Subaru nodded silently.
"Can we start over, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked quietly.
"I don't know." Subaru sipped his tea. "I don't think so. Things are never going to be the way they were, Seishirou-san. We've both changed too much."
Seishirou considered this.
"My sister thinks that love fixes everything." Subaru's voice was bitter again. "There are some things she'll never understand."
"Your sister," Seishirou said slowly, "has always known what was going on between us, long before either of us was aware of it."
"Yeah," Subaru said, eyes shining with tears. "She did, didn't she."
"Then maybe you should trust her," Seishirou said, reasonably enough.
"It's not that simple." Subaru shook his head and spread his hands out before him. "Let's be honest, okay? All the cards on the table. Because I don't know about you, but I'm sick of all the lying and never knowing what's going on."
Seishirou nodded.
"I love you," Subaru said. "I was lying earlier, because I wanted you to see how I had felt when you did the same thing to me. Because I can't forgive you. In those two months that I didn't see you, I was trying my damndest to forget about you and move on. But I couldn't. I don't know if it's Fate or opposites or what, but I couldn't stop loving you. And so I got angry." Subaru closed his eyes. "I was furious with you. I thought maybe you had put some sort of spell on me or something, to make me unable to fall out of love with you. So I decided I had to have some sort of revenge before I lost my mind."
Seishirou nodded slowly. "I never enspelled you. You know that, right?"
"I know," Subaru said. "I'm not sure I ever really thought that. I was just angry. I couldn't think of any sort of revenge that would be appropriate, except to reflect it back onto you. To show you exactly how I had felt." Subaru laughed bitterly. "Except first I had to make you fall in love with me. And that was my big mistake. Because once I had that, I couldn't let it go. I couldn't lose that chance. And at the same time, I didn't have one, because I still couldn't forgive you."
Seishirou sipped his own tea slowly, turning all this over in his mind.
"That's my part." Subaru folded his hands in his lap and stared at them.
Seishirou sat down on the bed next to him. "Subaru, I don't pretend to make excuses for myself. When I did what I did, I knew it would hurt you. And as you said, nobody had ever made me feel pain." He paused. "In a way, I'm almost glad for what you did. Because you made me realize how much I had hurt you." Seishirou pushed both his hands through his hair. "And even if you forgive me, I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself."
Subaru stared at him.
He'd gotten what he wanted.
And somehow, didn't feel triumphant in the slightest.
"No," he finally said, knowing he meant the words, even though he didn't know where they were coming from. "That's not . . . what I wanted."
Seishirou looked at him questioningly. "What did you want?"
Subaru studied the blankets and forced himself to find the truth and speak it out loud. "I wanted you," he finally said. "That was all I ever wanted. I wanted you to love me." He remembered one of the very first things he had said. "I didn't want . . . to be lonely. And I didn't want you to be lonely either."
"I thought you'd been lying when you'd said that," Seishirou said quietly.
"I thought I was too," Subaru whispered.
There was a long moment of silence.
"What do you want?" Subaru finally asked. "What did you want?"
Seishirou shrugged. "At first, I was keeping myself amused. And you were right, you know, about how I wanted to feel. Even if I hadn't admitted it to anyone, least of all myself. And now I have emotions, and while I'm certainly not very experienced with them, I know enough to know that I don't want you to leave me." He managed a wan smile. "I can't get by without you anymore than you can without me. I just took longer to realize it."
Subaru looked at him for a long second. "I'm sorry, Seishirou-san . . . for what I did."
"You don't owe me any apologies, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said firmly. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."
"You already did," Subaru said.
"I know." Seishirou shrugged. "It just doesn't seem like it's enough."
"I suppose it'll have to do."
"If we can't start over, can we at least go back to the way things were a week ago?" Seishirou asked.
Subaru looked up and managed a smile. "I think we can manage that much. What are you going to do about . . . the Tree?"
"The Tree and I," Seishirou said slowly, "have struck up a deal. I will continue to feed it if it lets me choose the . . ." He searched for a word. All he could think of was 'victims,' which he didn't think would please Subaru very much.
"The people," Subaru interrupted quickly.
Seishirou nodded slightly and gave Subaru a brief smile. "Which means that I'll have to work more, but I won't kill anyone . . . who doesn't deserve it."
Subaru considered this for a long moment, then nodded. "All right."
Seishirou regarded him carefully. "Do you forgive me, Subaru-kun?"
"No," Subaru replied. "Not quite yet. But I think . . . that I can."
****
Author's Note: Boy, did Subaru ever go into that kicking and screaming. Seishirou wasn't much better. ::wilts:: Now that I've managed to get the two of them to be reasonable, we're going to give them some privacy, and I'm going to do something else with my life.
Hokuto listened in at the door until she was assured that her brother wasn't going to be an idiot, and things were going to go all right. Then she went out into the kitchen and waited to see if they would need her for anything else.
There was a knock on the door, and Hokuto made a face of frustration. Incorporeal as she was, she couldn't open the door. It was strange the way matter came and went as needed; she could sit on a sofa, but not hug her brother. A pain in the ass, if you asked her.
After another knock, the door opened and Johnny walked in. Johnny was very good at hiding shock, and after a few seconds of blinking, he said, "This is unexpected."
Hokuto wondered briefly why Johnny could see her, but since he was an empath, and he'd known her, and she was held in place by a spell . . . she supposed it wasn't too unlikely. She shrugged; magic had never been her forte anyway. "Ohayo, Johnny-chan!" The affectionate suffix had always sounded bizarre after the American name, but Hokuto had stubbornly persisted on using it anyway. She bounced over to Johnny and wrapped her arms around the space he was inhabiting.
Johnny suppressed a flinch. "That feels strange."
"Sorry." Hokuto backed off. Johnny had never liked being touched to begin with; she assumed that dead people weren't really what he needed.
"Why are you here?"
"Sei-chan called me back to whap some sense into my brother," Hokuto said with a grin.
"I told Subaru that you wouldn't approve," Johnny said with a nod. "It was my suggestion, though I'll admit I was flustered at the time and I didn't really expect Seishirou would take me seriously."
Hokuto shrugged. "Well, he did, and I talked some sense into Subaru, so everything's okay now."
Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
Hokuto grinned and nodded. "I was eavesdropping. Just before I left, it got very, suspiciously quiet . . ."
Johnny grinned back. "Good." He looked at her curiously. "You're fading out, though."
"Sei-chan isn't holding the spell anymore," she said with a nod. "He apparently has other, more important things to be focusing on."
"Will I see you again?" Johnny asked.
"Oh, I'm always around," Hokuto said with a nod. "Maybe you can help Subaru talk some sense into Kakyou . . ."
Johnny nodded. "Sure."
"Jaa ne, Johnny-chan!" Hokuto exclaimed cheerfully, just before she faded out.
Johnny shook his head and walked down to Seishirou's bedroom. A few seconds with his ear pressed against the door confirmed that he wasn't needed, so he left a quick note for Subaru. "Glad you stopped being an idiot." And with that, he left the apartment.
****
Epilogue
Author's Note: Nobody is allowed to kill me for this last part.
"Are you sure about this?" Seishirou asked skeptically.
Subaru nodded silently. "I've been talking to him . . . and Hokuto-chan . . . she'll kick him in the head, but then she'll forgive him and accept it, because she loves him. And he loves her, but they can't be together. I won't let two people who love each other be kept apart like this. It's not right."
"If you say so," Seishirou said. "But Hokuto is going to kick you in the head too, you know."
"Yes, but I got used to that a long time ago." Subaru smiled crookedly and began to unplug the machinery from the wall. He had already put wards on the door so nobody could come in. "I'm just hoping I don't get arrested."
Seishirou shrugged. "I wouldn't worry too much."
Subaru pulled the last plug out, and the respirator that had been keeping Kakyou breathing shut off. Kakyou kept breathing on his own for a minute.
"Think he'll pull through?" Seishirou asked.
Subaru just shook his head.
Kakyou's eyes opened a little, and he looked at Subaru. He was surprised for a second, then he nodded slightly and whispered, "Thank you . . ."
Subaru could barely see him through tears that blinded him. He took Kakyou's hand and said, "I understand now . . ."
Kakyou's eyes closed. His chest rose and fell once more, then stopped, a smile lingering on his face.
Subaru turned away and wiped his eyes. "He's happy now."
"Your sister's going to have your head on a pike," Seishirou said, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Subaru managed a wan smile. "That's her right. But she can hardly blame me."
"I know." Seishirou wiped the tears off Subaru's cheeks and extended his hand. "Come on, Subaru-kun. Let's go home."
"Home," Subaru whispered, and he accepted Seishirou's hand.
Finis
And that's it. Please let me know what you thought of this fic. And if you liked it, it's up in the CLAMP Fanfiction Awards. ::shameless plug:: Hope you enjoyed it; it's been fun!