Title: Lake House, scotch, and sex

Rating: R

Warnings: Skinny dipping, drunken swearing (lots of swearing), drunken retardedness, sex outside

Paring: Renji/Ichigo

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Bleach. Kubo-sensei does. But let it be known, if he ever needs a break, I am right here

"Why did I allow you to drag me up here? Fuck, this is gunna be so lame!"

Renji thumped his head against the car seat, sighing frustrated. "And why are we taking this lame car? We could use shunpo and get there in no time."

The orange haired young man clicked his tongue. "Renji, stop complaining. Shunpo takes too much energy for this long of a trip. Plus, this way you get to sit back and enjoy the views."

"I could have enjoyed the views from your house... in the bed." He flashes a grin. "Now... why are we going to this lake?"

"My father finally had his midlife crisis and bought a summer home up here on the lake side. He is still too busy with work to come up here to check it out, so I told him I would take a look." Ichigo took his eyes off the road briefly to look over at Renji. "Trust me. It's going to be fine. I would have been bored out of my mind coming up here alone."

The red head chuckled at the thought of a shinigami having a midlife crisis. "Yeah, great thinking. Now we can go crazy together."

Ichigo grunted "Whiney bitch"

"Your whiney bitch..."

"Hush, I'm driving"

When they had finally reached the lake house, it was nearly four. Ten hours had been spent driving, along with the occasion rest stop. Ichigo learned Renji was very fidgety in cars, and vowed to remember to give him something to do on the way home.

Said red head was curled up in the passenger seat, sound asleep. Ichigo smiled softly at this. It wasn't every day he got to see his lover in such a calm and relaxed mood. Renji was usually up and about when they were together; that or restless and lustful. Then there were the hollow attacks, which took up a lot of time as well. It was only once or twice a month that the orange haired shinigami got to watch the Fukutaicho sleep. It was a shame he had to wake him.

"Renji..."

"Mrmph... a few more minutes, Ichi..."

"I'll dump you in the lake, lazy. Come on, I need help getting the food in the fridge so it doesn't go bad."

The red head mumbled something, curses, Ichigo had guessed, and slowly rolled over and put his feet on the ground. "Damn it Ichi, you wouldn't believe the dream I was having. You should have let me finish..."

"I can only guess what it was, you pervert, and I am sure I don't want to know. Now get up or there is no supper."

At the mention of a meal, Renji is up and already at the trunk pulling out bags of food.

Upon entering the house, the first thing Renji noticed was it was big, surprisingly, for it had cost less then it looked like it should have. Renji was about to mention it when Ichigo put some bags on the counter and whistled.

"So, you can buy a house like this cheap because some one was murdered in it? Jeez people are weak these days."

"WHAT? You bought a house that some one was MURDERED in?! Why would your father do that?"

"I dunno, he's weird that way? What does it matter, freak. We are both Shinigami. It's not like a spirit is gunna come after us looking for revenge, and if we do see anything we can just send them up to soul society." He took the milk out of the bags and put them in the fridge. "Hey, what do you want for supper?"

"Ahm..." The red head was still looking around the house. "...whatever you're... hungry for, Ichi..."

"Oooo Kay... Hot pot it is..."

"Wait, hold it. You can cook?"

"What's that supposed to mean, bastard?! I can fucking cook!"

"Then why is your sis' Yuzu always cooking for yeah?"

"She likes to! She kinda took over mom's role when she died!" He shakes his head. "That's not the point. I'm living on my own now, thank you, so of course I know how to cook!" He takes out a rather large looking croc pot and plugs it in, heating it up. "Plus... hot pot isn't hard, dumb ass. You just throw in the stuff you want and heat it in fucking broth."

"Oh yeah?" Renji wanders closer, hovering over the orange haired man. "Could you show me?"

"...Why?" He grins. "Got a hot girl to make some dinner for?"

"Yeah, a sexy orange haired piece with a fucking 6 foot sword and a pair of hairy balls." He pressed his palm against Ichigo's forehead. "I need to learn of to cook new things, so teach!"

The younger man visibly twitched. "Don't be disgusting in the kitchen, Renji, we have had this discussion before about mentioning body parts around the table."

"Yeah, but we ended up defiling said table.. And the counters as well I believe."

The orange haired Shinigami shook his head. "I wouldn't let Yuzu cook in there until I had scrubbed the place with bleach fucking four times!" He points a finger at the other man. "And that is your entire fault!"

"Glad to have made you more of a kinkier person. Now less yakking and more cracking! I'm hungry!"

"...boke"

"Cock munch"

Supper, it turned out, was actually very good, if you talked to Renji that is. Ichigo didn't seem to like it as much as usual, but he had let Renji help and add some things in he had wanted to eat, so of course it wasn't going to be the same. It all went down the same tube together, he supposed, so he didn't really care. Packing was done, and there wasn't much else to do. Ichigo put the remaining dishes away and grabbed a bottle of amber coloured liquid from the counter.

"Hey, Renji. Did you pack this?" He waved the bottle back and forth lightly.

The red head, which had been lying on the couch rubbing his stomach, looked up with a grunt. "Mnn? Oh, yeah."

"What is it?"

"Scotch."

"Scotch?"

"A type of alcoholic drink form America. I got it when my team went on a mission there a few months ago, remember?" He got up and made his way over. "I forgot about that... lets crack it open."

"Alright..."

Glasses were retrieved and brew was poured to drink. Renji shot his back with ease and went for more, but Ichigo was still sniffing his. "Euk, smells like shit."

"And tastes like hell."

"Then why bother?"

"Cuz, it's good for ya."

"Bullshit. Stop feeding me bullshit."

"Just drink it, pussy."

The Shinigami glares at the other man, but looks back to his glass and drinks it quickly, gasping for breath at the end.

"Aarg! Tastes like death! God it burns."

"Told ya like hell I say."

"Erk... more..."

"Heh heh heh, I told ya it was good."

"Shut it. I wanna be drunk before you start making sense."

It didn't take long for the younger Shinigami to get boozed up. Renji was rather happy with how things were going, seeing as Ichigo was farther gone then he was. The red head now had control of the situation, more of less, and was pleased to have a drunken berry sprawled in his lap.

"We... should do this more often Ren."

"Yeah?"

"Ya.. In... In Seireitei... wit the guysss." He shot his hands up, barely missing Renji's cup, and grinned. "Every one can get drunk and then.. And then, we can all go an' hab a huge sex party!"

"Oh really?"

"Ya really, dip shit. Just said so. I think Shuuhei and Kira would join us yeah?"

"Don't let them hear you saying that. Drunk or not they would kick yer ass."

"No. Cuz you like my ass too much to let that go."

"True, berry face, very true."

"Nuh nuh nuh, love. You LOVE my ass." Ichigo rolls out of his Renji seat and wobbles to his feat. "Come on Ren-ji-chaaan. Follow mee!"

"Ey, where are you going?"

"Out side lets go swimming"

"Pardon?"

The strawberry was already off the porch and began running down the path to the dock. Renji followed the trail of clothing to the beginning of the wood structure, looking down at the pair of black boxers, then looking at the orange hair just popping out of the water.

"Renji! Renji Renji come on! Come on Renji! Get in! In! Hurry up and get naked!"

"Can't argue with that I suppose..." The red head stripped then, dropping his clothing next to the other's boxers, and took a running jump off the end of the dock.

The water wasn't all that cold, much to the Shinigami's relief, and it was rather clean. There was no activity on the lake either, luckily, since it was getting dark. There was little wind, and the surface would have looked like glass if Ichigo wasn't splashing around everywhere.

"Bet I can hold my breath longer then you!"

"Bet you'll drown before me, retar- Hey hey! No splashin' you brat!"

"I'm not a brat! I'm old! I'm twenty!"

"Wonderful. Makes me feel so much better." Another wave of water to the face. Renji grabbed the man's hands and growled. "Oi, what did I say about splashing?"

"You're being way too anal about this Renji"

"I'll show you anal, boke" The tattooed man pulled Ichigo in closer, leaning in with hunger and slowly moved a hand down the berry's back side. "I should teach you a lesson, strawberry."

Ichigo gasped at the sudden contact to his nether regions, and groaned when he felt Renji's erection rub up against his hardening one. "Please..."

"Please what, Ichi?"

"Ahh, please just... just touch me. Stop teasing!"

"Mmm alright" Renji captured the other's lips roughly, and Ichigo responded happily, lustfully. Their tongues tangled viciously, teeth clacking and lips bruising. Ichigo was always a sucker for a good kiss, and moaned softly into Renji's mouth. The red head grinned, gripping the Shinigami's ass and pulling upwards. He was glad the lake wasn't all that deep in the area they were, and that their feet could still touch. Other wise, Renji was sure they would be having a rather hard time with their make-out session while trying to stay afloat. And that would be a very retarded way to die.

Ichigo wrapped his legs around the red head's hips, grinding their cocks together. Renji groaned loudly, squeezing the cheek in his hand. "Need... Need you now Ichi."

The orange haired man seemed to jerk his head to the side, indicating the dock. "Now."

"Ah, but-."

"Renji." Ichigo moaned and shivered anxiously. "Need. It. Now. Bad."

The Fukutaicho could hardly turn that down. Ichigo always pleaded for sex in such a sexy voice, which was only just a tad whiney sounding.

Ichigo was on the dock first, lying down and pulling Renji down with him. He kissed him unheedingly, running his hands up the red head's back. Renji broke away from the kiss and attached himself to the man's neck. The strawberry practically mewed at this, arching upwards. The older Shinigami made his way down slowly to the younger man's nipples, tweaking and biting them softly. Ichigo growled and moaned. "I said... stop teasing me. Get on with it!"

"Rather demanding when we're drunk, aren't we?" He kissed the orange haired man's belly button before moving down to take him in his mouth. Ichigo visibly gasped at the sensation and ran his hands into Renji's locks, which had come out of its band earlier on. Renji hummed at the feeling of the man's hands on his scalp, and the vibrations resonated through the younger man's erection. Ichigo choked.

"Gods, Renji! S-stop don't... oh GOD I'm gunna loose my mind."

The red head stopped and licked the top of the length, a smirk played out on his lips. "Ya sure you haven't already lost it love?"

"Shut it, not when we are fucking you little-"

"Making love, Ichi... we are making love."

"No... I need it now.. Hard.. Renji!!"

"Alright alright..."

Using the water from the lake, Renji quickly coats three fingers and slides two in at once. Ichigo grunted, shifted, and gasped softly. "Nnh Ren..."

"Want me to slow down?"

"No... More...please."

"At least you are being polite when you demand things now..."

A third finger is added after the Fukutaicho scissor his fingers, stretching the younger man out. Only when Renji brushed against a bundle of nerves, did Ichigo arch and groan loudly. "Guaah! Renji! Enough, need you in me now!"

"Don't need to tell me twice!" Renji slicks himself with some water and the pre cum already seeping from his neglected cock. He positioned himself carefully at the man's entrance, and entered him slowly.

Painfully slowly, perhaps. Ichigo whined and wiggled under the man until he was all the way in, then gasped. Renji seemed to get the hint, and started moving gentle at first, gradually thrusting harder. Ichigo's hands hand left Renji's hair, and had made their home on his back, gripping the inked muscles tightly, scratching and leaving red lines. This, Ichigo realized, was something he could and would never go without. He felt like he was going to explode.

"Renji… Renji I need it harder… HARDER!"

"Any harder, Ichi, and I'm going to ngh… I'm going to tear your back up on this dock."

"I don't care! I just-AH, Just need it bad now."

The red head sighed. "Just don't complain about the splinters after…"

"The sex was most definitely the best part of the trip."

Ichigo shook his head. Renji had been boasting about their little fuck session on the dock for the last twenty-four hours, and now that they were on their way home, that seemed to be the only thing worth talking about. Ichigo had cursed himself for forgetting again to get him something to keep him entertained for the trip.

"I know it was good Renji but-."

"Good? No, fuck that. It was mind blowing Ichi. Your face is so sexy when you come, and fuck if I don't just release from that."

"Err… thanks?"

"It's too bad though… we can't do it for a while till your back heals."

"I told you not to worry about it… I'll just ask Inoue to take a look at it."

"Oh? And what, pray tell, are you going to say happened? 'Hey Inoue, could you heal my back up for me? I kinda had crazy sex with Renji on this dock and now its all torn up.' Yeah… THAT will go over great."

"…Actually, for your information, I was going to tell her I got in a bar fight with you and you smashed a table over my back." He ignored Renji's look of superiority and sniffed. "But of course, I won."

Renji scowled. "Did not. Bullshit. If we ever DID have a bar fight, I'd kick yer ass!"

"Oh REALLY? WELL THEN… We will just have to go visit a bar for our next trip."

"That sounds like an EXCELENT IDEA Ichigo."

They sat in silence for about ten minutes, Renji looking out the window at the passing trees.

"We are doing that again, right?"

"Fuck yes."

If dock sex wasn't already a kink, Renji was sure it was now.

Fin