Title: Safe Bet
Summary: John realises that she's not the one he needs.

Characters: John, Ronon, Nancy

Pairing: John/Nancy, John/Teyla.
Rating: K
Spoilers: Outcast and all the episodes up to then.

"John?"

He glances up from his perusal of a local newspaper and takes in the sight of his ex-wife walking towards him across the lawns of mown grass. He squints into the glare of the sunlight, his aviator sunglasses doing little to dim the direct rays. Her silhouette gets closer to him and her shadowed features emerge before his eyes.

She's still one of the most beautiful people he's ever seen, he realises as his breath catches slightly in the back of his throat at the sight of her.

He folds the newspaper up and places it across his knee as she stands uncertainly before him. He smiles up at her and jerks his head to the empty place beside him on the bench. She smiles in gratitude and sits gracefully beside him, her spine erect, shoulders squared. She always looked ready to leap across the dance floor.

He hasn't seen Nancy since he left for Atlantis and he admits to himself that, unlike him, she hasn't seemed to change. Her red hair is as deep and burnt as he remembered; the thick, curled curtain resting somewhere near the middle of her back made him want to run his hands through it like he had so many times before.

He knows he still loves her; that at least had never been a problem.

In his mind, he can see the words he wants to say to her, but none of them feel like coming out of his mouth. Instead, he watches Ronon drink another hearty slug of beer, chatting away to a few of John's family. He knows that he should be worried they'll ask him the wrong type of questions; ones not relating to national security but more to do with John security. He sighs, ridding his mind of the thoughts.

"Your friend is… memorable." He turns to her then, a small frown marring his brow. "I don't mean it disrespectfully." He replies to that with a playful glare. "I can see why you're drawn to him."

He sputters. "I'm not drawn to him." He hears her chuckle and an embarrassed tinge reaches his cheek before he can banish it. He sees her smile widen and he simply rolls his eyes and looks away again. It's always been like this with them and he misses it. He's never had this with anyone else. But then, he's never had anyone else like her; they'd spent their whole lives together from the minute they started school, ended up married as soon as they'd been able to afford somewhere to live.

Then he'd gone into the military. And he'd changed. They'd changed.

"Where'd you find him?" He's taken his sunglasses off as the sun disappears behind a fluffy white cloud so she doesn't miss the sideways glance he sends her way. "I know, I know, you can't say." He nods a contrite look passing across his features. "I'm surprised they managed to get you here." He frowns at that. "None of us have heard hide nor tail of you for four years. It's like you've dropped off the face of the Earth."

He smirks.

"Something like that."

"Where have you been, John?"

He turns fully to her at the emotion in her voice, struck that she's still worried about him even after everything he's done to her. He smiles slightly and shakes his head.

"You know I can't tell you that."

"I know…" she trails off and her eyes leave his. He feels a pang of regret in his chest and he squints before looking away. He's always hated not being able to tell her everything. It had torn them apart years before. "I'm sorry… about your dad." He lowers his eyes but doesn't say anything. He's not sure how he feels about his dad's death… he's not even sure he should really be here, mourning someone who he hasn't spoken to for years. "I know you didn't get on but… he was your dad and… well, that's got to mean something." He nods and tilts his head away from her to hide the lie in his eyes. It doesn't mean anything to him and that scares him. "Graham asked me to be here… for you."

He turns to her then at the mention of his brother's name and frowns disapprovingly. He hates when she talks about his brother because he'd always wanted Nancy.

"That was nice of him."

"John…"

"I know… I'm sorry." He turns to her with a soft smile gracing his features and his eyes take in her features once more. Sculpted features stare back at him, mossy eyes look into his and he's hit with an overwhelming sense of belonging. He quickly turns away from her and clears his throat.

"Tell me you're happy." He looks at her then and smiles as he nods. He is happy stuck in another galaxy, fighting off bad guys that he would never have been able to think up even in his most outrageous moments. Sometimes he still expects to wake up in the Antarctic and find that everything had all been a dream. "I'm glad," she murmurs but she isn't looking at him and he frowns. She doesn't sound glad.

He glances to where she is fiddling with her finger. The air sticks in his throat. His eyes widen. He wants to be sick. He follows the finger as she raises her hand to her face to swipe at something on her cheek and he feels all the air leave his body at once in a choked breath.

"You're engaged?" he manages out in a strangled whisper. He sees her freeze at his words, her eyes sliding slowly to his at his callous accusation. It's ridiculous: the pain in his chest is beyond anything he has ever felt; pain beyond anything that any Wraith or Replicator could inflict. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She jumps up at that and swivels to face him.

"When was I supposed to do that, John? You've been gone for years. We've not been together for almost five years. You just got up and left me, John. What do you expect?" She takes in a deep breath, closes her eyes and when she opens them again the tears there make him want to wrap his arms around her and take her back to their home. To her home. "I was done waiting for you to come back."

He feels like he's been punched in the gut. He stares up at her unable to form any form of comprehensible word. All he wants to do is shout and scream and kick and find the guy who even dared put a ring on his wife's finger.

"I never asked you to wait for me."

"When you came back from Afghanistan, I was the one you came to find. When James died I was the one you came to for help. When you had to decide whether or not you wanted to go on this mission to God knows where, you came to me. You never asked me to wait but you made it impossible for me to move on, always waiting to see if you would come back, if you would need me – well I'm done with that John. I'm not your wife and I haven't been for almost ten years and I deserve to be happy."

He too stands up, towering over her. He doesn't say anything to her as he takes a dangerous step closer to her. He can see the uncertainty in her eyes but he doesn't stop. His hands frame her face and his lips descend onto hers. She hesitates only for a second before her hands fall to his shoulders. He knows that he's surrounded by members of his family and that they will all no doubt be staring at the spectacle before them. And Ronon. What would Ronon tell Teyla?

He rips his lips from Nancy's and turns away from her, breathing heavily.

What the hell was that?

"John…" He can feel her hand on his shoulder and he turns to her. She doesn't look angry – and for that he's glad –, just confused.

"I'm sorry…"

He'd always known that in the back of his mind he'd harboured regrets about his divorce. He'd always harboured thoughts that somehow he and Nancy would get back together and have a family. But those thoughts had become less frequent in the past year… past few months.

In his mind's eye, he could see Teyla in all her pregnant glory. When she'd told him that she was pregnant he had been unable to understand the complete and utter devastation that he'd felt and it had been in the month that followed her announcement that he'd actually considered leaving the expedition and coming back to Nancy if she'd have him.

She was his safe bet, he realises suddenly. He regrets thinking of her like that because he doeslove her. He loves her more than any one could ever imagine but…

Teyla is pregnant.

"There's someone else?"

He loves her. Teyla. The woman who is pregnant with another man's baby… It hits him with such ferocity that he falls onto the bench and cradles his head in his hands.

Nancy moves away and he can hear her sniff.

"I knew there was. When you didn't come back to me anymore… I knew you'd found someone else to go to."

"It's not like that," he mumbles through his hands. "She's… pregnant."

"Oh my God…"

He snaps his head up at the horror-filled tone and shakes his head, grasping her hands in his.

"No… it's not mine." He sees her breath a sigh of relief and he wonders at that. "Nancy… I love you." He stands and wraps his arms around her, feeling his chest dampen with her tears. He hates that he's made her feel like this. "I've always loved you." She nods. "I have to go." She nods again but he can't bring himself to pull away from her.

"Sheppard."

He opens his eyes and sees Ronon looking at him in a rather unfriendly manner and he hesitantly pulls back form his ex-wife.

"Ronon." He holds his friends' gaze for a few moments before glancing away guiltily.

"This was ringing." Ronon holds up the cell phone the SGC had given him and he nods. He forgets sometimes that Ronon isn't from Earth.

He smiles hesitantly and takes it from him. He turns to Nancy and smiles, kisses her cheek and walks away without looking back.

They're in the car before Ronon speaks:

"If you want to stay…" John shakes his head. They're silent again. "I won't tell her; she doesn't need that."

John turns to the Satedan, surprised. Ronon simply rolls his eyes and looks away. John smiles and looks back to the road wondering just how much his friend knows.