Title: "Clinic Patient Hot-Potato"

Author: Wish Wielder

Fandom: House, M.D.

Pairing / Character Focus: Gregory House, James Wilson

Challenge: 15 Minute Fic

Theme / Prompt: #38

Word Count: 294

Rating: K Plus / PG

Summary: It was a game they liked to play whenever Cuddy assigned them to clinic duty.

Notes: Because it seemed funny, and Aku asked for House!fics.

Disclaimer: "House, M.D." and all respective properties are © FOX. Megan D. (Wish Wielder) does not, has never, nor will ever own "House, M.D.".

"Clinic Patient Hot-Potato"

It was a game they liked to play whenever Cuddy assigned them to clinic duty.

"Smells like cancer! Don't worry – I have a friend who's good at this," House would tell an annoying middle-aged man with a wink.

"I just need to get Dr. House in here for a consult – don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing serious," Wilson would say to a blonde teen who just wouldn't stop popping her gum long enough to answer his questions.

"I recommend you go see Dr. Wilson. He likes little boys," House stage-whispered to an eight-year-old's mother one day, waggling his brows at her in a very suggestive manner.

"Dr. House is our top diagnostician. I'm sure he'll be able to identify that rash," Wilson had told a nun one day shortly before Easter, carefully omitting the fact that it was probably caused by the lotion she was using.

It went on and on, back and forth 'til they drove each other insane with their patients. Someone would annoy House, and he would send that someone off to annoy Wilson. Someone would show a moral high ground to Wilson, and he'd figure it was just the someone to knock House down a peg or two. Someone would annoy them both, and they'd suggest a trip to Cuddy. "Clinic Patient Hot-Potato", she called it – and it wasn't far from the truth.

So it was perfectly natural for House to step into the exam room, see the Oriental woman with the purple fingers, and shout: "Wilson! Your mail-order bride is here!"

And it was just as natural for Wilson to enter another exam room, see the boy with the ice pack and high-strung business mom, and say: "Sorry, wrong room – Dr. House will be with you in a minute."

A.n.: Eh…someday, I might write a really good House!fic that isn't quick 'n rushed 'n eh-tastic. But I told Aku I'd write something House, and the word ("recommend") just seemed too perfect.