I'm BACKK

NOTE :This chapter will be done in Clouds POV

Tear's Don't Fall

By LiveYourLife77

Chapter 4: Betrayal

Had I just heard correctly? I hoped to God I hadn't. I cocked my head at him, knowing just by the look on his face that what he said was true. What just happened? Last time I checked she was fine and the only thing on her mind was if I would leave her or not.

"Cloud?"

I looked up into Barrett's eyes and he knew all to quickly that I had been in the dark. I watched as his eyes grew wide and he continually muttered how sorry he was. I couldn't contain it I let out a snarky laugh. From being content, to being in shock, now I'm pissed. Tifa had lied to me. She was going to let herself die before telling me.

Barrett took that as his cue to leave.

"Barrett!" I growled. I watched his retreating form turn back to face me.

"Don't you tell her I know!" I snarled at him. He kept his eyes on the ground and nodded.

Despite how pissed off I was at the fact she lied to me, I wasn't about to ruin the party she put together for me. I had never been one for showing my feelings so I guess I could act like I didn't know. Why now, when I am so angry, I really want to crawl in a hole and cry. That's a new feeling.

My heart felt like someone had taken a knife and ripped it through my chest. She was my family, she was all I had. I was all she had. How could she try to do this alone?

I had always known that Tifa was strong, but she couldn't take this on herself. She needed me. And the fact she never came for my support ripped me apart. I know I haven't been the best guy for her. Leaving, never knowing if I'm safe, but I know I have turned it around and tried to be there for her.

Does she acknowledge it though? Does she forever know me as the man who will leave her, when times get tough? Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Cloud?"

I turned quickly around, to look at those wine colored eyes I loved so much. She was smiling her gorgeous smile. How could I not want to be by her side forever. I mentally cursed the past for hurting her.

"Hey Teef." I absentmindedly began to scratch my head. Wow I felt awkward.

I wanted to grab her and hold her for an eternity. I wanted to keep her safe away from everything and anything. I wanted to show her that I loved her in the good and the bad times. I want to do all this before...

"It's time for the birthday cake! Get your ass over here!" She winked.

I nodded and followed her over to where the cake was. I tried to hold back my laugh when I saw the cake, let alone the blush that I knew would come. It was a fucking chocoboo! But instead of a chocoboo's face it was a cartoon of mine. Oh Tifa was good.

"Real nice Teef!" I looked over at her and smiled.

She smiled back and nuzzled her head onto my chest. Then Barrett's voice boomed as it began the "Happy Birthday" song. It was picture perfect, my life. I had great friends, a steady job, two awesome kids, and an amazing woman by my side.

"She has breast cancer.."

The words were like acid. I could feel the anxiety all of sudden. I didn't want to move because I knew she was fragile. She was sick and I had pushed it away without thinking. How could I be so cruel. How could I be so..so..so fucking blind!

She was sick and I barely gave it a thought. Time to calm down! I tried to shake off the feeling of anxiety. I had decided not to let her know I knew. So I guess it wasn't that bad. Okay, I finally am thinking straight.

She was so beautiful, when she walked it was like a dance. She was so graceful and amazing. Her brown hair whipped around her as she turned to smile at a guest. Her laugh was like a melody, that I could listen to all night. So sweet and soft. I watched as she turned and smiled at me, then she focused back on the piece of "Cloud cake."

She was going to die.

Oh God, it was really starting to sink in. I could possibly lose my angel. I could possibly never see those beautiful wine colored eyes. She could die and all she would know is that I wasn't there. I could feel my eyes begin to sting. I wanted to cry. That was a first. I never cried when Zack or Aerith died. I just felt numb and responsible. But this was a different feeling. She was my world!

"Cloud? Sweetie are you okay?" I looked down at the brunette in front of me. Wow she moved fast!

Her face was tense, searching mine for any clue it could give away. I was good at holding in my feelings, why now was it hard? She placed her hand in mine and gave me a squeeze.

"Whatever is going on Cloud Strife, I'm here for you." She gave me a reassuring smile

She was dying and yet she was more concerned over my own mental state. That made me sick and pulled away from her and rushed to the bathroom. I threw up the toilet seat and I heaved everything that was in my system. Al I could see in my mind was her body pale, no hair, dying. I threw up again! This was literally making me vomit.

"Cloud!" I could hear Tifa pounding on the door.

Holy shit she was not helping. Her cries for me to open the door made my stomach twist. God she was to selfless and the fact of that pissed me off. I wiped my mouth off, ignored the nausea and swung open the door.

In an instant I was in her face, forcing her body against the wall. Thank God everyone was up front, this would look bad. But I'm pissed. I could feel the heat on my face, the shivers of rage that coursed through my body. Her arm's were pinned underneath my hands.

Her body locked up in an instant. Her eyes were wide as she stared into my cold blue ones. She was scared, but I didn't care.

"Cloud?" She whispered, fear evident in her tone.

"Your a fucking liar!" I snapped.

I didn't know her eyes could any wider than they already were.

"What?" She asked shocked.

She tried to push me off of her, but I wouldn't back down. It was like everything was fuzzy. Like I was in a nightmare.

"You couldn't come to me! Really Tifa! After everything?" I growled at her. My grip was getting tighter but it was all i had on reality.

Her eyes began to water up as she tried to twist out of my restraint.

"What are you talking about?" She cried.

It was like water pouring on a fire. My anger calmed down and soon regret replaced it. My hands fell to my side and I turned away from her. As if she wasn't going through enough, here I come grabbing her. I was an ass. But I would come back to this in a moment.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

Her arms were pulling me back to her, even after my outburst. Her eyes were red and full of tears, yet she looked at me full of concern and love. She was to good for me.

"I know." She whispered.

I shook my head, trying not to cry. It wasn't going to be easy, confronting her. I guess better now than never.

"I know your sick. You didn't even come to me." My eyes stayed on hers.

Shock ran over her face, realization hit for a second. Now I was helping her fall to the floor. I held her as she sobbed. She kept whispering how sorry she was, but I shook my head and told her there was no need. That I should be the one asking for forgiveness. Before I knew it tears were trailing down my cheeks onto her shirt.

We had never had a moment like this. I had never reacted like how I did earlier. Hearing her sob made me regret 20X more then a did earlier. She pulled away from me and her red bloodshot eyes stared into mine. Tears ran down her face like rain. In a way it made her even more beautiful. I cupped her face and just stared at her. Her hands did the same to mine.

"I'm so sorry Cloud. I should have came to." She whispered, her gaze now averted.

I pulled her face closer to mine, "Don't apologize. I should never have gotten that mad. The thought of losing you, destroys me. I am so sorry I got angry." My eyes ran to her elbows and I saw the bruises forming.

She saw where my eyes were. "It's okay, I would have reacted the same way." She whispered caressing my cheek.

I pulled her back into my arms and she let out her sobs again. I closed my eyes praying to God this was a dream. I combed my fingers through her hair trying to soothe her. Then as I pulled my hand out from her hair, a huge chunk was attached to my fingers.

I lost it. I cried like I never had before and held her tight. I ended our embrace and kissed her. Like I never have kissed before. It was full of passion and love.

"I love you Tifa. I am here forever." I whispered to her as she laid her forehead against mine.

She looked at me with such sad eyes that my heart broke.

"Cloud, I don't want to leave you." She cried.

She pulled away from me and buried her head in my chest.

"I don't want to die," She whispered.

At that moment, hearing those words something inside me broke. All of a sudden I was numb. I couldn't save her this time.

TBC Hit that review button! This chap might not be that great but be nice ;)