Title: Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!
Genre: Humor/Romance
Rating: M for language and some sexual content….and stuff…
Summary: "Well…Damn…" Sasuke gets into a 'hot' situation. Sasunaru.
Author's Note: Hello guys. If the idea for this fic has already been put into words, it's by pure coincidence. Please enjoy and Review!
Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters do not belong to me.
Rants on about how wonderful the reviewers are
Sorry this chapter took so long, I had school….I originally planned for this to be two chapters, but decided against it. This is the last chapter guys, enjoy.
A/N: To clarify Sasuke's answer on Hinata's question, the 'blond, blue-eyed, loves ramen part', he was thinking. The 'complete opposite' part was the lie. Thank you SoSickOfNyQuil for bringing it up.
"You…Don't you 'Hello, Sasuke' me. Bitch"
"Such harsh words…But, I don't care. You see, my question will surely be more revenge than you can ever imagine."
Just what is she planning to ask? Right now, my chances at getting out of here with my boxers unburned are very slim. I better be careful. Chances are, she's going to ask me something big (something that is related to sex probably). She knows I'm gay, she knows I sleep naked, she knows my ideal guy…What else is there to ask?
Shit.
"Master, could you please call someone to bring the projector here? My question, or should I say, question-s require pictures…"
Double Shit.
This is not good. Not god at all. Pictures? Question-s? Just what is she planning to do…On another note, Naruto is staring at my almost naked body, and he's blushing like a schoolgirl. That's probably the only sight that looks good from here. I mean, fans are smiling with their eyes glinting with mischief, the other demon-ettes and the demon are smiling (as I have said, only I'm allowed to smirk), the two perverts are still taking pictures, and the guys are looking around, bored I assume, for any sign trouble.
"Shizune! Bring the projector here! Bring the secret documents as well."
"Yes. Tsunade-sama"
What? Now it's secret documents? They planned this last question well…But I don't care!
"I shall get out of here with my boxers intact!!!"
Oh, Fuck. I said that out loud didn't I?
"We'll see about that, Sasuke. And besides, if you do get out of here without your underwear burned, I just know that something else is going to happen that will be even better…"
"Tsunade-sama! The projector and secret documents are ready. We can go on with the last question now!"
"Thank you, Shizune. Sakura, if you could start now."
"Gladly. Now, Sasuke, I've told you that we were aware of your sexual orientation even before you wholeheartedly confessed to being gay."
Crap.
"And since you are gay, we have taken it upon ourselves to figure out just who it was that you liked."
Double Crap.
"In order to find out the identity of that guy, we reserved this last question. We took pictures of the ninja in Konoha, since we're sure that it's one of them, right Sasuke?
No, I will not lie now. I'm sure there are more questions than this.
"Yes. They guy is a ninja, and resides in Konoha"
"Good. And we know that he's around your age. Actually, he's over there at the back, right? One of those looking out for trouble?"
As I looked at the back, I swore Naruto blushed even more! Oh God if he only knew he was the one I liked! But Sakura might find that out, and me in boxers strapped to a chair with the whole village watching is not a good way of confessing my feelings. I'll have to dodge the question somehow using my Uchiha verbal skills (which have not been working at all!)…I'm doomed. There is a high chance that I'll have to tell everyone about my feelings and I'm sure that Naruto wouldn't take that well. Damn you Sakura.
"Yes."
"Good. So, now we'll have you confess who it is that you like over there by taking a look at the pictures that we took of them. The pictures are going to be shown in succession using the projector, and we'll ask you whether you like him or not. Of course, it wouldn't be fun just like that. You see, the pictures we took were shots of them almost naked. We're sure that you'll have a grand time looking at all the hot pictures, because we sure did, right girls?"
"Yeah!"
Sweet glorious Crap.
How dare she do this! I'm only in my boxers! If they ever see something bulging out, they'll have a field day! I'm never going to live this down! Argh!
"So, are you ready for you complete and total destruction, Sasuke?"
Do I have a choice?
"Yes."
"Shizune! Start the slideshow! Muahahahaha!!!"
Universe, please kill me now.
"Okay. Sasuke, first up is this picture!"
Oh My Fucking God.
It was a picture of Gaara…yet, he was naked…his private parts were only covered with sand, and he had a devilish look on his face…almost seductive. Of course, the fans were screaming and fainting once more (A lot of them have fainted, yet their numbers don't seem to diminish! Just how any fans are there?!)
"Is this the guy you like?"
What? No way. Although I must admit that the picture is hot, he's not my type. I looked at Gaara, and I saw that he had the same deadpan expression on his face, but I swore I saw a flicker of surprise in his eyes.
"No, he isn't."
"Well, we still have a lot."
"Next, Shizune!"
No Way! It was a picture of Neji! He had his hair down, with bangs covering his 'mark'. He was wearing a shirt that barely covered his shoulders. I looked at him and he had blush on his face, but nothing more. How on earth are they getting these pictures?
"Is this the guy?"
"No. It's not him either."
"Oh well."
"Just one question, bitch. How on earth did you get these guys to pose like that?"
"Muahahahaha!"
"MUHAHAHAHAHA!"
They were laughing…Laughing their heads off!
"Oh Sasuke! You poor, ignorant fool! You have no idea what we are capable of. Just because we look weak, doesn't mean we are. We managed to beat these guys up and believe me it was easy. Then, we used Ino's Mind Transfer Jutsu to get them into situations like the ones you see on the pictures. Then, we left them like that. They can't say anything because we can just beat them up again. Embarrassment does that to people."
Her green eyes were just screaming 'evil' and her forehead was screaming 'huge' and that made it even scarier. I sort of felt sorry for the guys, but then again, look at me.
"You are all truly evil."
"Yeah, yeah. Tell me something I don't know. Next Shizune!"
It went on for some time and I said no to all of the pictures so far. Kiba lying on a bed with Akamaru being the only cover he had, Shikamaru naked under a tree, a shadow covering his lower regions, Shino with bugs that looked like leather clothes surrounding him, Kankuro looking like he just had an orgasm with his puppets covering his parts, Lee with his spandex torn in just the right places to reveal his body, and Chouji was clad in nothing but a long scarf to cover himself. Some were hot, some were just gross, but none of them really turned me on.
"So, none of them were your love-interest, eh Sasuke?"
"No."
Then I realized that there was still one picture that she hadn't shown me. The one that would really turn me on. I mean, just thinking about what the picture had him doing…
No! I don't want an erection right now! Everybody's watching me and I'm just in boxers. Must stop erotic thoughts related to Naruto! Itachi in a Tutu…Orochimaru in a bathing suit…Sakura in just a thong! Ha! That did it…eww…
"Well, I'm sure we all know what that means…there's only one picture left, and you should know whose it is. Even without asking, I'm sure that he's the one you like. But because it's fun, we'll let you confess anyway. Shizune, if you please."
"Yes."
Oh mother of dogcrap. There's no way I can go around this one. I looked at the back and saw Naruto just fiddling with his fingers, blushing madly. He knows he's next.
"Here we go everyone, the one and only guy that Uchiha Sasuke is head-over-heels in love with: Uzumaki Naruto!"
What I saw just left me speechless. Naruto was naked, with a thin towel covering his waist, and event that was dangerously low, almost falling off. Small droplets of water trickled down his chest down to his stomach, and a thin mist made the scene all the more erotic. It's like he just got out of a shower and was ready for another round. He had a seductive smile on his face, and the seal of the Kyuubi was showing. The whole thing was just so perfect and he looked absolutely fuckable.
By this time, every single one of the fans had fainted from either blood loss or due to asphyxiation. Good. Kakashi and Jiraiya were still taking pictures (Just how much film did they have?!) and the rest of the gang were either staring or blushing. I then felt something hot on my face. Blood. From my nose. As I looked down, I saw something much, much worse.
"Soo, Sasuke. I don't think you need to answer whether you like him or not. The fans have all fainted and the blood leaking from your nose as well as that bulge on your boxers says everything."
"…"
I couldn't say anything. I was speechless, just staring at the picture once again. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Sakura began to loosen the straps until I was free.
"Why are you freeing me now?"
"Well, the game is over. Besides, if you want to go get him, you better start running now."
Huh? I looked at the back and saw that Naruto was gone.
I immediately took off, not caring that I was only in my boxers. I stepped over the sea of fangirls, fanboys, blood, drool, and foam.
"Naruto! Wait!"
I managed to catch up to him, we were in the forest. There were not a lot of clouds so the sky was clear. God, even nature was letting me go through this by giving a good atmosphere. Universe, you aren't so bad after all.
"Naruto, I'm sure you saw everything that happened back there. I just want to say that—"
"No, Sasuke. You don't need to say anything. I kind of figured out you liked me when they showed the picture."
I was shocked. But, does he like me too?
"And Sasuke, you know what, I like you too."
"…"
I could feel my heart beating…He likes me…He really likes me. I smile and move close to him. I kiss him passionately, and before long, he kisses back with the same flood of emotions flowing through him. Our tongues battle for dominance and I win in the end. He tasted great. We pull apart after a good amount of time and the way he looks…fuckable.
"Then why did you run away?"
"Because I wanted some privacy for the two of us."
"Naruto...let's have sex!"
"What? Oi! I mean…Isn't this a little too early? Sasu—"
I didn't reply to that. Instead, I began to take his shirt off, revealing well-toned muscles. I got hard by hearing his moans and whimpers. I fumbled with his pants until I gave up and ripped them off.
"Hey! My pants!"
"Shut up, Dobe."
I started to kiss his neck and trail down to his chest. I could feel him get hard and I proceeded to take both our boxers off. His cock was leaking precum and I immediately got down to lick its head, flicking my tongue.
"Uhn…Sasuke…Please…more…"
His pleas became louder as I sucked harder on his shaft. After a while, I could feel his breath hitching, indicating that his release was close.
"Sasuke…I'm gonna cum…"
I continued to give him a blowjob until his hands were on either side of my head motioning for me to be faster. I kept on sucking and sucking.
"Uh..Sasuke…I'm gonna…"
He came inside my mouth and hot jets of semen came rushing to my throat. I sucked him dry, licking every drop of cum on his cock.
"Was that good?"
"That was…that was…"
"Shh…Dobe. It's my turn."
I made him suck my fingers and after they were all wet, I began to loosen his ass.
"Sasuke! It hurts!"
"Don't worry, it'll better soon. I promise."
After some time, I replaced my fingers with my cock, and began to fuck him. Slowly at first, until he got used to it and begged me to go faster.
"Sasuke! Harder! Faster! Fuck me!"
"You're so tight Naruto! Oh God!"
Moans and cries of pleasure were all that came out of our mouths. We were breathing heavily and sweat began to form all over our bodies.
"Naruto! I'm so close!"
"Cum inside Sasuke! Ahh! Harder!"
Wave after wave of pleasure were coursing through our bodies and finally, our release came at the same time.
"Naruto!"
"Sasuke!"
I screamed his name out and he screamed mine. I pulled my cock out of him and we both lay on the ground, panting.
After our activities, we both decided to dress up and make our way to my house and sleep.
"So…Are we a couple now, Sasuke?"
"Let me see…I confessed to liking you, we had sex, and now you're asking whether we're a couple or not. Duh."
"I was just asking, you bastard."
We got up to walk when suddenly, Kakashi and Jiraiya jumped from a tree and blocked our way.
"That was great, boys! Who knew that my students were so good at having sex!"
"That was great inspiration for my next novel! I'll be sure to write it right after we give Tsunade the pictures."
"Ohoho! Then let's get going Jiraiya-sama!"
Pictures? What pictures? Oh hell no. No way. No fucking way.
"You took pictures of us having sex?!"
"Well, Sakura told us to follow you guys…Something about more money."
"That bitch!"
"Teme! Don't say that about Sakura-chan!"
"Naruto, she planned the whole thing. She had these two take pictures of me suffering, and pictures of us having sex!"
"But, if it weren't for her, you never would have confessed…"
Actually, he's right. I was too afraid of what his reaction would be. After the 'game', all fear was lost because I had nothing to lose anyway. And besides, even if they had the pictures, they still wouldn't have the real thing.
"Fine. I won't kill these two. But the next time you decide to voyeur on us, you're dead meat. Got it?"
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go Kakashi!"
"Yeah!"
After that, Naruto and I made our way to my house where we slept peacefully, glad that everything was over.
"Sasuke, I love you…"
"I love you too, Dobe"
Of course, the red hot monkey sex would come later.
(Epilogue - Third Person P.O.V)
Somewhere in the forest, rustling could be heard and five kunoichi were ready to attack. They prepared for the coming of their victim, waiting for the right moment.
"It sure is nice to be back in Konoha…I wonder how everyone is doing?"
The five figures began to make their move. They surrounded the lone victim and he was stunned, ready to attack whoever dared to ambush.
"TenTen, Attack!"
A barrage of weapons was thrown and the victim was suddenly bound with rope. It had explosive tags all over it. The victim did not even have a chance to get a look at his attackers. When the weapons stopped coming, he heard voices…and they sounded familiar…
He opened his eyes to look at whoever did this to him, and after he did, a paintbrush dropped to the ground…
"Don't move if you value your life."
He was left speechless, with his eyes wide open and mouth agape at the sight.
"Hello, Sai…MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Wahaha! Last chapter guys….I hope you liked it. I felt weird while writing the sex scene (it was my first one…) but whatever. Review please!