Title: Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!
Genre: Humor/Romance
Rating: M for language and some sexual content….and stuff…
Summary: "Well…Damn…" Sasuke gets into a 'hot' situation. Sasunaru.
Author's Note: Hello guys. If the idea for this fic has already been put into words, it's by pure coincidence. Please enjoy and Review!
Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters do not belong to me.
Coming back to Konoha was a pretty stupid idea, now that I think about it. I mean, not being hunted down like some rogue beast is nice and all, and meals have improved (I can finally eat like a king again) but it's just so boring. After the disbandment of Akatsuki and the death of Orochimaru (Thanks to me), ninja missions have become extremely uninteresting and that sucks a lot.
So here I am…waking up to another stupid day with stupid missions….it's always "Help me find my cat..." "Would you be as kind as to clean my garden..." and the worst one yet, "Let's go back to my place and you can 'service' me." Ugh.
"There he is…let the mission commence!" A nearby voice said. Finally! Some action! Though that voice did sound awfully familiar…
"Temari! Attack!"
A gust of wind suddenly came my way and I closed my eyes for a second. They thought this out well. I couldn't use my sharingan and I didn't know where they were.
"Restrain him! Now!"
"What the…" ropes began to wrap themselves around my body and they seem to be filled with explosive tags.
"Don't move if you value your life."
What I saw shocked me. Is this a dream or something…'cause I'd like to wake up now...
"Good job TenTen. Hinata, keep your Byakugan on and strike him if any signs of disturbance in his chakra appears. We don't want any chances. Ino, get ready with your Mind Transfer Jutsu. As for you, Sasuke-kun, I thought this would be harder. You know, with all the training you've gone through and the ninja you killed. This must be pretty embarrassing right now…but, I don't care."
"Shut the fuck up, Sakura."
"Ooh…Feisty…"
What on earth is going on? One minute I'm angsting about my life and then I'm caught by a group of psychotic fangirls. I don't know what to think anymore…
"What do you want with me? I don't want to go out with any of you!"
"Sasuke! I'm hurt. We don't want to go out with you…We grew out of our childish games a long time ago. We are no longer after you in that way…"
"Then what the hell do you want? Spill!" I could feel my chakra wanting to come out. All I needed was a little more—
"Hinata!"
Hinata hit me with her hands and my chakra began to fade. I had no other choice but to give up. My sharingan won't work without chakra either. I didn't know what else to do.
"I'm screwed, aren't I"
"You sure are. Ino, start the jutsu!"
"Yeah yeah, forehead."
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
The last thing I saw before passing out were five girls, smirk—no, smiling (Only I'm allowed to smirk) like there was no tomorrow.
I slowly came to my senses. It seemed that I was somewhere else. Ino must have brought me here. Speaking of here, where is this place? It looks like the ho…kage's…office…
"Hokage-sama! Hokage-sama!"
"Save it Sasuke. Master is in on this plan. She isn't going to save you."
"Grr…Where's Ino? I want to ask her what she did to my body!"
"What? I didn't do anything. Although, now that I think about it…My groin felt different. I should've looked. Darn."
"Don't worry Ino-san. I'm sure we'll get more than that later."
"Hinata! You..." And here I was, thinking she was the least trouble…I knew the silent types are always evil on the inside. I mean, look at me!
"Where are TenTen and Temari? I need them to take care of the posters, flyers, and the venue."
"I told them to start doing those, forehead."
"Thank you, pig."
"Sakura-san, isn't Hokage-sama going to check up on Sasuke-san to make sure he doesn't do anything funny during the show?"
"Yeah. She told me she'll be here in a short while. In the meantime, let's think about how we'll go through with the 'hotseat'…Muahahahaha!!!!"
Okay. Is it just me or did Sakura just become some sort of evil maniac. Seriously, she's scary right now. And I can't believe even Tsunade is in on this! What the hell is a 'hotseat'?! I knew I should've stayed home today…
"Sakura. You better tell me what's going on right now or I'll…I'll…"
"You'll what, Sasuke-san? You're powerless right now. If I decide to kill you, and believe me with my Byakugan it'll be easy, you won't be able to do a thing about it. So just sit down and relax."
"Hinata, we don't want to scare him more than he is already. But she's right Sasuke. Maybe Sakura will tell you our plan."
"Nah. Let's wait for Master. After all, where do you think I got the plan in the first place?"
"Sakura-san…"
"Forehead…"
"What? It's not like being a medic nin was all she taught me…"
While they had that conversation, I just sat there, bound and speechless. Did my absence cause all this? And what 'plan' are they talking about? This day just keep getting better and better…
"Sakura! Hinata! Ino! You're here! Did you get the brat?"
"Yes, Master. He's right here and his chakra passageways are blocked, so he can't do anything."
"Nice work, team. So Sasuke, you're probably wondering why you're here…"
She came closer and closer, those eyes glinting with malice, and her breasts bulging out like hills. Creepy.
"Well, Sasuke? Do you not want to hear the plan?"
Sighing, I hung my head down and decided to give in.
"Yes. I do want to hear about the plan."
"Good brat. We're doing this for money. You see, we want cash and we decided to use you to get it. Tomorrow, if TenTen and Temari attract enough people, we'll push through with our 'hotseat' game. There's a chair that's connected to a device that will burn you when you tell lies. We won't be using any Truth Jutsus since that's too simple. It'll be more fun to see your reactions to everything and how you hesitate and squirm, trying to think of excuses and trying to go around our questions."
"You're evil. Malevolent, malicious, demonic, cruel, and evil."
"I know. We all are. Right girls?"
"Yeah!"
"So anyway, every time you tell a lie, you get burned. First, your clothes will go. Then, when all your clothes are gone, I'll set the device to give you a burning sensation on your butt. Of course, only we are allowed to take pictures and videos, which we will sell. Almost everyone in Konoha will be there, but only we're allowed to ask you questions. Won't that be fun?"
God, suicide sounded so much better than this. Why didn't I hang myself earlier this morning…Why me?
"We'll wake you up tomorrow morning at seven, so be sure to sleep tight. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. Muahahahahaha!"
"Muahahahahaha!" the three demon-ettes joined in. Great.
"Well…Damn."
Review! I'll post the next chapter later...or tomorrow...