Author'S Note: DOn't own gravitation but I do own the lyrics written for this story

Tragedy's Hope

Japan

Fingers flew off the keyboard as if the words possessed his very soul; a sudden burst of inspiration came back and now he took full advantage of it. Eiri Yuki was not writing just because of Shuichi Shindo, he was writing for him, using one of his talents in hopes of winning back his lover. Yes, the brat had left him, even a year later he could still remember the day very well.

It happened again, like it always did, exactly in a similar fashion as before…but this time was different. Yuki Eiri was typing on his latest novel with another deadline rearing its ugly head. A monster that came in the form of a less than happy editor, sleepless nights, and a constant sense of rage at the writer's block he was currently having. However none of this would had been a big problem—he was used to this kind of pressure— if it was not for his adorable little lover who was currently latched to his leg refusing to let go. Yuki was tired, overworked and now officially irritated. He tried to kick Shuichi off his leg.

"Please Yuuuki!" the pink-haired brat begged rubbing his head against the fabric of the older man's pants, "a little break, please."

"No," the novelist replied, typing another sentence on his beloved laptop.

"Please," Big bright violet eyes gazed up to see the blonde man still firmly staring at the screen.

"No,"

"Yuki!"

"No,"

"Yuki, I'm leaving for my tour tomorrow!" Shuichi exclaimed. "Please just take a little break for me!"

"It's never just a little break with you, now leave me alone!" he growled.

Shuichi was tired of it. Two years with Yuki was wearing him down, every time he thought he was getting closer to him something would happen. Then he would be reminded just how far away he really was from the love of his life, and it was getting too much to handle. Anyone close to Shuichi should have seen it, but nobody knew he was breaking inside, or that he was on his last straw with Yuki.

He loved him! He really did and always would…but this was the last time he was going to get pushed around as well as being treated as something that could be used and then thrown away when it was too inconvenient. There never had been such an occurrence in love, if it was convenient, then what was there to fight for.

"Only because we always end up having um…" Shuichi blushed, "well you know,"

"Sex," Yuki supplied. "You are a big boy now. You can say it."

"Doesn't matter Yuki," Shuichi shook his head, "Please I need you to spend a little time with me!" Yuki still did not move. He had a deadline and he was going to meet it…though, his resolve was breaking down just a tiny bit, he continued typing.

The pink-haired boy decided it was time for tactic two, so he began to nibble at Yuki's ear. "Come on Yuki, just a little break," he whispered seductively as he could.

"Brat," the golden-haired man warned "Don't!"

Shuichi did not heed the warning, but continued to move his hands forward. Placing his hands on Yuki's Shoulders, he began to massage him, before moving his hands slowly to some of the older man's 'favorite' spots.

For a moment it seemed the cute little brat had won. The writer was lost in the feel of his lover's hands, trying to hold back the moan making its way up his throat. A desire overcoming him, but then suddenly a random noise of something falling off the bookshelf brought Yuki to his reality. He pushed Shuichi harshly away, "Go away Brat!" he hissed. "I got work to do!"

His little lover was on the floor in shock, big wide eyes gazed upward, glistening because Shuichi was on the brink of tears. He looked so adorable sprawled on the floor, and any other time the blonde gave in. Then when morning came they would be in each other's arms, well... actually with Shuichi latched onto his waist and drooling slightly while warm breathe could be felt on the novelist's neck.

Eiri had kept a small smile from breaking free, because as much as he wanted to give in, his editor warned him that the company was more than slightly irritated with his latest works. "I said go away."

"But Yuki," he was now back to tactic one—again, "I love you and I just want to spend the last day with you. Since you refuse to go on tour with me…and I just thought we could…," Shuichi was now in full sobs.

"I told you I couldn't go, baka, now GO!" the writer commanded. "You know what," he thought for a moment causing a slight ray of hope to rise in Shuichi's eyes, but he squashed that in a matter of seconds, "Leave my apartment and don't come back," a snarl escaped his lips.

His baka looked up at him. The expression that appeared on Shuichi's face, almost made Eiri shivered, "Do you mean that?" he questioned. Shuichi pleaded within himself that Yuki would say anything but 'yes.'

"Yes," the one dreaded word had left his lips. For some reason the blonde knew that was the worse thing he could say, but…he did not take it back. The brat knew he had work to do. If he wanted to spend time with him, he should have left him alone last weekend. Okay so Shuichi wanted to celebrate his 'boyfriend's birthday' but still…Yuki did not even like to celebrate any kind of holiday, especially not his birthday. Though, he had to admit he did like the present Shuichi gave him, a wonderful night to do as he pleased to his little lover's body without complaints.

"Okay then, I'll go pack," Shuichi whispered sadly as he disappeared out of the study. Yuki at first was glad for the silence, but it seemed unsettling the way his lover had asked him if he was serious about him leaving. Well he was serious in a way. He did not mean for him not to come back of course, but he could not do anything with his lover pestering him.

Shuichi went to his room and packed up everything. He would have Maiko come get what he did not take with him after he broke his contract with N.G., was he really going to do this? Sure he had planned it several weeks before, the next time Yuki kicked him out he was not going to come back. The next time the novelist was going to have to come get him, but…the fact was Shuichi did not know if Yuki would ever come get him. He thought Yuki loved him and there had been points when he was absolutely sure, but now…he was not even sure if the blonde novelist liked him.

After a few hours Eiri was more than half way to reaching his goal for the night. He was surprise when he heard his lover's soft voice calling him. "Yuki"

"I thought I told you to leave brat!" the older man stared at his lover. He was so…so…broken. Yuki was seriously thinking about putting his writing on hold for the night so he could show his lover his true feelings, but once again, he did nothing. He just went back to his computer.

"This is goodbye Eiri," Yuki was listening intently because Shuichi 'never' called him Eiri. This was bad and he knew it, however pride was not a reasonable thing.

"Fine, goodbye," he did not look up from his laptop and he would regret that action for the rest of his life.

Eiri to this day was angry at himself for ignoring the signs. He sometimes cursed the damn thing that fell to the ground, because if it had not, he and Shuichi would have woken up together, instead Yuki now woke up alone in a big bed, that's if he slept at all. Other times, he wanted to slam his head against the wall for not doing something when his lover used the words 'goodbye' and 'Eiri' in the same sentences. Everyday, he wanted to cry for letting the greatest thing he ever had walk away. He just hoped he could get Shuichi back, now that his lover was currently returning to Japan for part of his world tour. Yuki looked over to the tickets that sat next to him on his desk. There were no plans of what 'exactly' he was going to do.

Eiri Yuki never did the chasing in his life. People came to him as a matter of fact they usually came on their hands and knees to him, begging to be with him. Even, Shuichi had been like that with him, more so than most people. No… correction: Shuichi did not beg, he just shoved his way through his life. So the novelist had no clue how he was going to win his lover back. He was sure it had been hard for Shuichi, but now he understood why the pink baka fought so much for him, took so much… no let Yuki take so much, because if what the brat felt for him was even a drop of what he felt now… then… they had to get it back. He never would understand how the little idiot developed those feelings and what fates was so cruel to have put such a strong desire inside Shuichi but his selfish side was more than grateful.

He finished another paragraph. The story was getting closer to the ending and Yuki hoped to give it to Shuichi before he left him again, and that the book might be enough to get him to stay. Unfortunately, he would not be able to get it to the brat tonight. Mizuki still had to look at it; a sudden flashback came to mind of his editor squealing with delight. She was usually so composed, but seeing the first few chapters of the book, the woman did not contain herself. Yuki knew she strongly supported his relationship with Shuichi, but did not realize how much until that moment.

He ran a hand over his face, and removed his glasses. Looking over the clock he finally acknowledged the time of day. "I suppose I should get ready, I've been waiting a year to see the brat and I'd be damned if I miss him, because I lost track of time." He saved the document then proceeded to get dressed.

America

Shuichi rushed to pack everything for the next stop on his tour with Tragedy's Hope, some things never changed. Though, he gotten better at being on time, he still had a tendency to forget every once in awhile. Actually, in reality if he was honest with himself, he did not forget. Ever since Rage told him that they would be going back to Japan, he counted down the days and tried to ignore the emotions that came rushing at the mere thought of it. By the way, that lady still scared him from time to time, though Shuichi enjoyed working for her company; however she was still obsessed with him. Matter of fact, she had tried to hook him up with several boys in hopes of getting a good picture of them having sex. He refused to date anyone, because his heart still belonged to Yuki, and always would. He remembered the worse set emotions came after he closed the door.

Shuichi gently shut the door. He did not break down until he was outside of Yuki Eiri's apartment. He felled in front of the door and broke into sobs, "Goodbye Yuki, I love you" he cried, still in tears he pulled himself off the ground. Then he carried his duffle bag down the stairs and tried to suck it up before Hiro saw him, but he knew he would know, anyway.

Hiro watched his friend staring out the window of the limo, "Are you sure Shuichi?" he asked. The pink-headed man just nodded his head. "You don't look sure."

His voice broke, "Oh Hiro" the pink head man hugged his best friend, "Of course I'm not sure, but I don't know what else to do."

"I think Shindo," Surguru spoke up, "this is what's best if you really want to leave Yuki then we must leave N.G. as well."

"But I don't know if I want to leave Yuki!" Tears poured down from his eyes, again that day.

"Didn't you already tell him that was goodbye?" Suguru pointed out. Shuichi simply nodded, "then that's that, well except give me your phone." The young keyboardist was given a strange look as he held his hand out.

"Give it to him." Hiro looked at Suguru all at once he understood and nodded in agreement.

Shuichi handed him the cell phone. Everything seemed to go slow motion: Suguru rolled a window down. Then he threw out the cell phone and it fell to the ground making a crunching noise as it hit the ground. Shuichi gaped at him in disbelief, "We can't have Yuki use Tohma to get to us, now can we If we are really going to break a contract with NG after this tour, we have to cut all ties with those connected. You want a fresh start, right?"

"But,"

"I'll buy you a new one, Shuichi," Hiro stated as he patted him on the back, "this is for the best,"

"I just got a new one and Yuki…," The pink haired brat cried again and his two band mates sighed in annoyance.

Shuichi stared at himself in the mirror. Even, with all the emotions that were still the same a lot had changed. He was much more mature than he used to be, having his emotions under control. Though, he still would cry for no reason at all from time to time, his dramatics were not as heavy as they used to be. He threw his fits in more private places, and kept a more business like demeanor at work.

His looks had changed drastically; with a name like Tragedy's Hope, the image consultant had suggested a darker look and Rage wanted something hot. Now Shuichi was wearing mainly black, blue, silver, gray, and sometimes red as opposed to the bright colors he used to wear. He almost always wore black jeans that clung tightly to his body, instead of the tight tiny shorts. He slipped three hoops in one of his ears, he thought about how many things he had got done to his body, just for the changed. He pierced an ear, and he had to laugh at how dramatic he had been about that piercing, it was his first. Then he got his eyebrow done, after that his nose, and finally his tongue. Clutter, on his face was the last thing he wanted so he would not wear all his piercing all the time. Today, he was wearing a silver ball in his tongue to compliment the hoops. There was a necklace he always wore: it was a heart with a sword through it. The man even had a couple of tattoos, the symbol for Yuki's name on his right shoulder which sometimes was seen when he wore muscle shirts. There was also one in a place where only a lover would see. A chuckled escaped as his lips as he thought about getting the first tattoo, he cried during the whole time. The artist threatened to throw Shuichi out by his pierced ear. He ran a hand through the now black hair that had just gotten highlighted with blue last weekend.

"Yo, Shuichi it's time to go," Hiro called, gripping his bag, he sighed. "Are you ready?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" the black-haired man questioned as he looked back over to his best friend. To this very day, Hiro wished Shuichi never developed the skill of hiding his emotions. He missed knowing the right thing to ask or say.

"Yuki."

"Yuki, what about him? It's not like I'll see him again." Shuichi still looked at the mirror as he put on some black gothic bracelets. There was a mist of pain in his eyes, "He is probably doing his best to ignore me…" he looked downward. "No, that would mean he actually thought of me in the first place."

"Shuichi," in a soft whisper, the name came from Hiro's lips as the man had once again clung to his best friend, letting the tears fall. Something he had not done in months.

Japan

Yuki had to admit he looked pretty damn good, naturally he always did. In the beginning there were times he hated it, because he could not tell if people liked him for him or perhaps… it was the fame. Then in time, he just did not care. It was why he slept with any girl he could stand for more than a minute. It had been the reason he had been so hard on Shuichi. He had not been used to someone like…him. Someone, who honestly wanted him for him. Though, in honesty Shuichi fell for him because he was so 'cool looking' yet something had made him hang on for those two years:

"What do you want?" Yuki asked the boy in his arms. "You don't want money…"

"No"

"You don't want me for my fame?"

"No"

"Do you want sex?"

"No"

"You don't want to have sex with me?"

"I didn't mean it like that…I just want Yuki." The pink haired brat clung to him tighter.

It had been so hard to believe, even if everyday Shuichi proved exactly that; all he wanted that day was time from him, time to be with him. Nothing else.

Yuki straightened out his red jacket. Shuichi once told him he needed to wear a little more color, black was so boring. He hoped Shuichi appreciated it, because he really did not like the color, even if it complimented him well, so Tatsuha had said. He actually went to his brother for help, since the idiot was so good at chasing Ryuichi Sakuma. His brother was a little helpful, giving him the suggestion he do something for Shuichi by using one of his talents, which sparked the idea to write a book. The idea of what to write had been another issue, though it came along easier than he thought it would.

He knew it had to be something that Shuichi would love and had to be something that revealed all Yuki felt about Shuichi. So he decided that he would write their love story, but more than that how their love story has changed him. He had to dig a little in the past, which had been hard. He had talked to Mika to help refresh his memory. It had been good to face some of the things that made his relationship with Shuichi difficult. He had confronted so much. He just wished Shuichi could be here to enjoy it with him.

Tohma clasped his hands together and looked at the clock. Yuki was going to the concert soon. He would never say it out loud but he was nervous. Honestly, he really did not know how this would work out. Shuichi Shindo had surprised him once before, so there was no way to know for sure if everything would work out this time. It was simple, just bring Yuki to Shuichi. Tohma figured Shuichi had just being waiting for his Yuki to chase him. At first he just wanted to survive the wrath of his wife and Eiri, and then he had thought this had been a good thing, but Yuki just got worse. The day of the news was still clear in his mind.

It had been a week since the tour was over. Shuichi was not back. The nagging feeling had been getting worse lately. Yuki stared at the last chapter of his novel. He killed the Villainess, but he had the Heroine die with her. He debated with himself if he should have the love interest kill himself or go on without her. Shuichi would tell him to rewrite the Heroine's death scene so it did not exist. Sigh, that brat and happy endings. The bad feeling returned as he wondered if they could have a happy ending.

He shook the thought away. He tried to focus on how to end the story, he stared at the screen. Just as he decided on the ending, the damn phone rung. He let it ring for awhile, but secretly hoped it was the brat he finally got up, walking over to the phone. A frown appeared on his face when he saw his brother-in-law's number. "What the hell do you want?"

Tohma stared at the phone. He knew he needed to do it, had to do it, but he sure as hell did not want to! Why the hell did Shuichi, no Bad Luck -no not Bad Luck now it was Tragedy's Hope (What the hell kind of name was that anyway?) left. Tohma clasped his hands together, thinking of the current situation: it was hard to believe that the band members including his cousin had more than enough gutsto stand up to him. He could not believe they actually not only broke their contract, but signed with some American label. How the hell were they expecting to survive anyhow? Shuichi did not know that much English, but he had managed to sing a few songs in the language before. It should not be a surprise he would be able to continue to do it. Tohma continued staring at the phone. Now thanks to Shuichi he had to deliver the bad news to his brother-in-law, Eiri Uesugi. He needed to do it so Maiko could go over there without getting attacked. The girl was in a worse position than Tohma; he had been able to hide behind a phone. She would actually have to face Eiri.

Tohma finally picked up the phone, and dialed. He waited then finally he heard Eiri snarl some greeting. "Must you always greet your brother-in-law in such a manner?"

"Whatever, just get to the point," the novelist replied. Tohma braced himself.

"Shuichi's not coming back, Eiri-san."

"Do not fucking play games with me!" The head of N.G. held the phone away from his ears. Maybe he should have tried harder to convince Mika to talk to her brother.

"I wish I was, but Shuichi broke his contract right before the end of the tour."

Yuki froze, Shuichi's words were coming back to him. "No, I don't believe you," his voice quivered. He knew…he just knew that Tohma was telling him the truth; however he could not just believe it.

"I'm sorry, Eiri-san, he is working under another company with a new band name."

"You wouldn't have just let him leave like that." Yuki retorted. He heard Tohma breath deeply into the phone.

"No normally I wouldn't, but for once this was out of my power. I had no hold on them. They didn't care if they lost of all their money."

"Did they?" Yuki wondered. He thought about his baka sleeping out on the streets.

"I told you he is working with another company, somewhere in America."

"Do you know where?"

"No, I'm working on finding out, though I'll tell you if I find anything." Tohma lied. He was not going to give Shuichi another chance to come back. The boy had been a hazard to Eiri-san's health. He did not need him coming back again.

"No, I don't want to know anything," Yuki knew that Tohma would not tell him anything, because he was always waiting to get rid of Shuichi. So, he just hung up.

"Alright Eiri-san,"

Yuki had debated several times in his head where he should be at the concert. He could be anywhere he wanted. The problem was deciding on whether he should be as close to Shuichi as possible or if he should be in the spot that he always took. It is where he knew the brat would expect him to be, yet… to be that close to him was something he desired for so long. Then again, being that close to him and not being able to touch him would be torture. Finally, he decided on the back as always, it just felt… right. As odd as that sounded, since Yuki did not trust feelings, he supposed that was one of the things wrong with their relationship.

He smoked a cigarette as he waited for the miserable excuse of an opening act to get their ass off the stage. Nobody could ever be as good as his Shuichi, never. Finally, they finished their last song.

"Alright, I take it you guys are ready for Tragedy's Hope!" Everyone roared at the announcement, the lead singer of Black Rage waited for it to quiet it down, "Alright!" He yelled, "Here's Tragedy's Hope!"

The crowd screamed louder than ever, as smoke began to rise from the stage. Three figures stood in the smoke, and as it began to disappear the crowd became silent only for a moment. Then a loud bang was heard, a quick flare of a light spark rose from nowhere, only a second, as a chord on the guitar was struck. Then the lights came on, clearly revealed the gorgeous men.

Hiro wore a pair of tight red leather pants, black boots, and a black snake skin sleeveless shirt. A necklace hung low on his neck, and the girls tried to eye the tattoo on his right shoulder.

While Suguru wore a blood red long sleeve collar shirt, along with a pair of black slacks with dress shoes and he finished off his style with a black trench coat.

Shuichi however…Was that really his Shuichi? Yuki had to use all his strength to keep his jaw from dropping, instead he settled for clenching it. The baka was wearing black, he seemed to have some piercings. He wore a pair of black jeans and a fish net revealing his toned chest. Yuki figured he must have worked out, because while Shuichi was never flabby, he had never been that toned before. The brat had also dyed his hair…black, of all colors, yet it did not seem like the traditional Japanese black, it appeared to be highlighted with some random color. Yuki could not make it out with all the odd lighting. Shuichi was no longer his adorable cute brat he… no, now he was hot.

The music flowed from him naturally, even with this dark stuff. He long ago found a way to use his depressive state in his writing. It was hard at first, but he had to finally found a way to live his life without revolving around Yuki.

Something had over taken Shuichi, he buried himself in his music. He had no clue how he was doing it, but somehow or another he lived a life without Yuki. He traveled with his new band, Tragedy's Hope. The name came out surprising him, but it was perfect. To him, his relationship with Yuki was ruined by Tragedy and therefore became a tragedy. The hope from this tragedy was that someday his Yuki would find happiness, even if it was not from him. He constantly wrote powerful, sorrowful lyrics that brought praises from the teenagers all over the U.S. The success he received was amazing, it happened rather quickly after Rage took a hold of the band. Immediately she took him to English lessons, since both Hiro and Suguru had actually paid attention in school, they did not really need lessons. Then after he learned enough English he started to work on his lyrics, which rather quickly he released his first American Album.

Now he was preparing to go on a talk show, "Alright, let's bring out the hottest band, Tragedy's Hope." The host announced. Shuichi stepped out from the back stage, Hiro and Suguru followed behind.

"Mr. Shindo," The host began, as the band members seated themselves, "It is so nice to have you on the show."

"Thank you, it is nice to be here," the black-haired man crossed his legs and straightened out his jacket. The audience cheered as Shuichi waved at them with a grin.

"Well, Tragedy's Hope is quite popular, how does that make all of you feel?"

"Extremely privilege," Suguru replied, "We are always glad when we are welcomed by our fans."

"Yes, especially the girls," Hiro added and winked.

"Of course, we are very happy that America has enjoyed our music as well as we do."

"Alright, so what else is in store for your band?"

"Oh," Shuichi began, "I know we will be working on a video for 'Bleed' soon." The audience roared in joyfulness. "Of course, we are always trying to come up with new songs."

"Speaking of your songs, where does your inspiration come from?"

"My inspiration?"

Shuichi almost dropped his microphone as he was singing Bleed, because just as he gazed over the audience he saw someone at the back of the audience. His arms crossed, golden eyes focused, beautiful blonde hair and he was wearing a red suit. Yuki! The man who did forever inspired joy and pain inside of him.

Hiro looked over at him as he only miraculously stumbled over a word. He gave Shuichi a quizzical look before following his line of sight, and that was when he understood everything. What is Yuki doing here? He then looked over to Suguru to see if he had noticed. Suguru simply nodded as he continued to play.

After that, Tragedy's Hope had gone without another problem before retreating to backstage. Shuichi tossed his shirt aside and slipped on a more comfortable black shirt. He wiped off the remaining of his stage makeup, as he did this he heard a voice of someone arguing with one of the guards.

"I don't care how important you think you are? You are not getting back there!" The man growled grabbing Yuki by the arm.

The blonde novelist was more than willing to fight his way through the bodyguard when he heard a familiar, but strangely smug voice, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Yuki is a lot more powerful than he looks." The man let the beautiful blonde man go, straighten himself and then gazed toward Shuichi.

"Sir?"

"Leave us be," The singer demanded waving the man away. "So…" The singer was not sure what to say.

"You dyed your hair," Yuki stated, he was still amazed at Shuichi's transformation.

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Okay…, and you think the questions I asked where moronic. I mean here we've been separated for a year and all you can think to ask is why my hair is no longer pink." Arms crossed, and emotions were unreadable, except the eyes, they always revealed everything. They were filled with angry and sadness.

"Will you did used to ask pretty moronic questions, like if you could have my baby would I want you to?" The novelist smirked slightly.

"Well…I thought it was a reasonable question."

"No, it wasn't. Why worry about things that aren't even possible?"

"I'll worry about what I want to worry about."

"Shuichi," a voice called. Both men turned sharply to see Hiro. "Yuki," the guitarist growled, "I was hoping you wouldn't be stupid enough to come back here." He began to prepare himself to pound Yuki in the ground, until Shuichi gave him a look.

"I'll handle this. Why don't you go and make sure Suguru is able to make it through the crowds?"

"But he…"

"Please," Shuichi pouted a little with his big and pleading violet eyes.

"Alright," Hiro retreated, he knew when he got the puppy dog face; there was no arguing.

Shuichi then turned his attention back to Yuki, "Why don't we just get straight to the point? Why are you here?"

"I was just curious as to why you hadn't come back begging, yet. And I came to tell you that you are allowed to come home."

"I am allowed!" Yuki was a little surprised, "Well, thank you, if that is all, you can leave now." Shuichi turned swiftly away.

"Brat! Don't you dare walk away from me!" He grabbed Shuichi, he turned him around so he could see his eyes. Yuki was pushed away.

"Who the hell do you think you are? I'm not your property! You can't treat me like some toy." The lead singer took a step back, staring at Yuki firmly, while emotions swirled around inside him, including a painful sadness, he growled, "If I were you, I'd get the hell out of here."

"What if I don't, baka," Yuki snarled back, "What are you going to do about it?"

The black-haired man sighed, "What do you want?"

"I want…," Shuichi's heart beat faster as a tiny glimmer of happiness began to show, but as usual it went out with Yuki's next words, "my fuck partner back."

"I just told you I'm not some toy!"

"I didn't call you a toy," desperately he searched for a lighter; Yuki could tell this conversation was going south. "I called you a partner."

"A fuck partner, not much of a compliment."

"It is if you're mine."

"Of course, I just should have been so grateful that you were willing to let me stay at all, right." Yuki did not say anything, "I mean, the constant verbal abuse, and the cold shoulder was totally worth being in the presence of the great Yuki Eiri. Well, fuck you, I can have anyone I want now, I don't need you." Shuichi turned sharply away, and this time realizing he needed to rethink his plan, Yuki let him go.

Yuki took a breath of smoke, as he thought over what to do next. He had been a complete ass and he knew it. Why the hell did he say that? All he had to say was "Please come home Shuichi". Is that so hard? Then again-the novelist flicked ashes into a tray-maybe it would not be that easy? Shuichi was now successful on his own merit—not a scheme from Tohma to help Eiri. He did not need Yuki, he made that clear, but then Shuichi never needed him, though the brat probably never realized it. A boy with such determination and passion would eventually have found a way to stand on his two feet. So what had it been...? Love, it always had been the gravitational force of love that kept Shuichi coming back to him. And he was such a fool to not realize it was his love for the brat that kept letting him come back. With that last moment of reflection, Yuki called Mizuki.

"Hello. Oh Yuki-san, you are wondering about the book?"

"Yes."

"It is ready now, if you just let me in, I can give you the first copy."

"Fine," He hung up the phone and trudged toward the door, opening it up to reveal a slender brunette.

"Yuki-san, here it is." She handed him the book, and Yuki was about to shut the door on her, "You know as many years I worked for you, you are still rude enough to not offer me a cup of tea."

The novelist rolled his golden eyes, "Fine, come in, have tea." He opened the door and gestured her towards the couch.

She sat down and he went to make some tea. Coming out with a cup and a cigarette between his lips he made his way to the couch. He sat away from her, as he smoked.

"So Yuki-san, how are you these days?" She already knew the answer to that question, without his lover, the man was a complete mess. The lacking of writing had revealed that much, but also Yuki was never spotted by the press anymore, he did not even come out of his apartment to have sex anymore. Losing true love was a hard thing to deal with, especially when it was your fault. But perhaps Eiri Yuki would get another chance to win Shuichi Shindo back.

"Hmph," was all she got in response.

"You know," she sipped her tea, "I heard that the lead singer of Tragedy's Hope would be having a question and answer sessions for his fans, as well as the press." Yuki did not show any emotion, but he could not help but feel a small light of hope. "Yes," taking another sip, "I believe it is this afternoon at about 3:00 or so. I believe it is a place you are familiar with, the park where you met." She then sat her cup down, and glanced at her watch "I must be on my way now, thank you for the tea Yuki-san." A polite smile graced her face as she turned away, leaving a half full cup of tea.

Three cigarettes after 3:00 Yuki was ready to kill Mizuki for the false information, it was now 3:45 and no Shuichi. Then he noticed a limo pulled up, along with a ton of fans screaming.

Shuichi stepped out of the limo, glancing over the park. It was the park, the one where he met his true love, but greatest heart break: Yuki Eiri. And that scene played in his mind again when his purple eyes saw him.

His paper flew in the air and he tried to grab a hold, but he could not catch. Then suddenly when he almost had it, he was looking at a pair of golden eyes.

"Do you write this?" The man held it up.

"Yeah!"

"This sucks worse than a second grader," The blonde-haired man removed the cigarette from his mouth, "You have no talent." He let the wind take it away from him and the pink-haired boy grabbed it.

"Ah!" Shuichi fell to the ground, "You didn't have to say that!" He yelled as the man walked away.

Now here he was, leaning against a tree, wearing a pair of sunglasses in the same park where Shuichi fell for him. Why the hell did he have to be here of all places? Did he know how hard it had been to not just fall into his arms last time? Now Yuki was here, it made the black-haired man even weaker.

"Shuichi?" Hiro questioned, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Are you ready for this?"

Offering a smiling, he replied, "Yeah, let's go!" Shuichi walked up to the small stage set up for the band to answer questions. The girls squealed and cameras flashed. "Alright, who has a question first?" Shuichi looked over his fans.

"Oh! Oh!" A girl raised her hand. "I do!"

"Alright! What do you want to know?"

"Do you have a girl or boyfriend?" Yuki pulled down his shades as he prepared himself to listen intently. It would not do him no good, if someone else had managed to capture his baka's heart.

"No, next question?"

"Oh! Mr. Shindo," a woman—obviously a reporter because she was dressed in a red skirt with a matching jacket, she also held a pen and notepad—called, "Why do you think you were able to be even more successful than before? I mean as Bad Luck you did well for yourselves, but as Tragedy's Hope, you are a world icon."

"Well," Shuichi thought for a moment, "Because we were willing to gamble everything we had and use just our talent as well as the little luck we had."

"Oh! I have a question for Suguru and Hiro as well: how do you feel about the change in your image?"

"Well," Hiro began, "Honestly, I don't mind it all, I look would good in anything." He winked, earning several squeals and laughs.

"Yes, and I don't really feel my image has changed drastically," Suguru added. "I still dress in my own way, just a little differently. And I like the direction the music has been going, it has been really good for all of us. I feel it is good to explore all aspects of music." Yuki at this moment began to move closer.

Shuichi then pointed to a young girl in the front row, "Well, Shuichi…I love your hair!" Several screamed in agreement, "and I was wondering about why the piercings?"

"It kind of just went with the image," Shuichi replied. "I just thought it looked really cool." Showing off his body, everyone saw he was wearing black pants, a black T-shirt with a bloody heart, and snake skin boots. He also had been wearing his silver ball in his mouth and silver hoop in his nose.

"May I ask a question?" a man asked. Shuichi knew that voice from anywhere, and he knew he had to answer or everyone else would know too. Bracing himself, he smiled, "Of course."

"What's with the tattoo on your shoulder, it is the symbol for Yuki isn't it?" All the girls looked up at Shuichi hoping he would say he was still in love with their favorite novelist. The two had been so great together and it had been so horrible for fangirls everywhere, when they not only broke up, but Shuichi left. Now with the presence of their favorite singer back, they hoped that their favorite couple would be reunited soon.

"Hey, why don't I tell you were Suguru's tattoo is!" Hiro suggested teasingly. The audience began to chatter about how they wanted to know that, too. Suguru just glared at Hiro.

"It's fine." Shuichi held a hand up, "I have it to remind me how far I've fallen," staring straight at his former lover.

"I see, how far you've fallen from what?"

"Just in general."

"Where's Suguru tattoo?" Some random red head asked.

"In love?" Yuki was not going to let it go, until Shuichi admitted the tattoo was done for him.

"It's just a tattoo." The leader singer replied.

"Yes, but you just said it meant something."

"Suguru come on tell them about your tattoo," Hiro suggested trying to get the attention off his best friend.

"No!" He crossed his arms, "I don't understand how you can love me and still put Shuichi's needs over mine." The audience gasped.

"I…I" Hiro looked over the fans, some were really excited, others were in tears, and some were just shocked.

"It means something, doesn't it?" Yuki ignored the chaos and moved closer the stage as bodyguards were trying to keep the girls off of the new couple.

"I told you what it meant." Shuichi insisted.

"Brat, why do you have my name on your shoulder?" Yuki Eiri took off the sunglasses, and all the people turned to look at him and gasped.

"To remind me of the pain I had to suffer through." The singer growled.

"Is that so?" Yuki smirked staring right into the eyes of his former defiant lover. Then he swiftly wrapped his arms around the now sexy black haired man's neck, then lowered his mouth, he pressed his lips on Shuichi's. Cheers were all around, well except from Hiro who was now being restrained by his boyfriend.

Yuki was kissing him again. Shuichi did not know what to do, he knew what he wanted to do and that was to completely melt into his lover's arms. He knew what he should be doing, and that was to shove Yuki away, but he could not pick which.

The blonde slipped his tongue into Shuichi's mouth, tasting all of him. It was pure…glorious…ecstasy. He did not care if he died, but he knew he had to come up for air, if Shuichi was going to breathe, so he stopped.

For a moment, the former lovers heard and did nothing, but then the roar of delight reached their ears. Yuki smirked slightly, but Shuichi brought up a hand slapping him across the face, as he glared down at his lover. When the taller man looked up, his former little lover was gone and somehow, way ahead of the fangirls.

Shuichi ran for a taxi, not wanting to leave his friends behind by taking the limo. He had the driver drop him off at a garage area were his precious Mercedes was waiting; yes he got a car just like Yuki's. The reason why was quiet simple: because he had at the time missed his former love…who was he kidding? He still missed Yuki. Jumping into the car, he quickly started it and then hit the gas pedal hard as he maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. Surly Rage would not be happy with him, but he did not care. He was pissed. Why did Yuki do that? And why did I like it so much? Why am I so weak?

Yuki watched the car spin around the corner along with the rest of the crowd. He was shocked at who the driver was. Shuichi, his former lover, was driving a Mercedes. He pulled out his fifth cigarette, "Damn! Strike two."

When Shuichi finally arrived at the hotel, he immediately passed through his band mates— who waited for him down in the lobby—stomping his feet.

"Hey buddy!" Hiro called, but the still angry and confused man just ignored his best friend as he headed down the hallway to his room. Quickly slipping the card in, he walked into his room. Then he dove under his bed, searching for something, pulling out his suitcase, he yanked out a picture.

There he was smiling, still with pink hair and his violet eyes have never been brighter. He was leaning on Yuki as he held up a victory sign. His lover actually leaned a little into him maybe he was smiling a tiny bit. It was the only picture he had of him, it was fading. He tried to get his lover to take another picture with him several times, but he never did. Shuichi tried to push the tears away as he looked at his blind self. I still love you Yuki.

A loud pounding brought Shuichi out of his moment, "Yes, who is it?"

"Your best friend."

"Oh, Hiro," he greeted somewhat perkily as he quickly wiped the tears away, "Come in."

"Hey, so…" The red head took a seat on the bed, "how do you feel?"

"I'm fine," Shuichi tried to give a bright smile. "I really should be asking you, since you were just exposed today. Is Suguru okay?"

"Yeah, well…he really is beating himself up for such a slip up, because you know how he is… but I didn't come to talk about him or me. I came to see how you are doing buddy? For once, you can't hide what you feel." Hiro got down on his knees, and then gazed into his best friend's eyes. "Does it hurt because he embarrassed you or is it because you still love him?"

"I…I think you already know." The long-haired man gave a half-hearted smile and brought Shuichi's face to look into his eyes.

"Yes, I do."

000000000000000000

"And further news, Today Tragedy's Hope will be continuing its world tour in Europe, as of tomorrow." Yuki fell over his coffee table. "Sources said that after this they won't be returning to Japan for a long time, and this leave many to believe that the relationship between Eiri Yuki and Shuichi Shindo for once and all is unfixable."

"Shit," He could not lose Shuichi, not again. What was he going to do, though? Getting that book to the younger man was something he had to do, but how?

A ringing interrupted his thought, "Damn! Why is someone fucking calling me now? It better not be Mika, damn annoying sister." Snatching the phone off the hook, he snarled a greeting, "Who the hell is this?"

"Hey! Don't be so mean!" a voice whined childishly, "I have very good news, no da!" After that Yuki had no doubt in his mind who the hell had just called him.

"What do you want you over-grown…?"

"Uh-nuh, Kuma-chan says don't be mean if you want to know about Shuichi."

The novelist knew as much as the singer pretended to be an idiot, he was a lot smarter than he seemed, and anyone who held the connection to get to his former love, had him in the palm of his or her hand. Yuki sighed, "What about him?"

"Shuichi-chan is leaving tonight, at 7:30 on a flight 734," Yuki looked down at his watch. It was 7:00 now.

"Thanks, got to go." He did not even bother hanging up the phone he just tossed it. Grabbing the book, keys, and coat, he headed to his Mercedes.

Arriving at the airport, Yuki Eiri intensely searched for his former lover amongst the chaos of the fangirls and people fighting to get to their plane. Rage noted his presence immediately and being a bigger fan of the couple than most fangirls she yelled, "Shuichi hurry up!"

Yuki turned his head to the direction of that voice. Shuichi glared at his boss, as the surge of fangirls began to surround them. The bodyguards had made a circle around the pop star.

"Shuichi, brat," Yuki yelled. Hiro had grasped Shuichi's hand ready to drag him out of the mess onto the plane.

The black-haired man now noted his former lover took his hand from his best friend, then looked up, "Don't," he pleaded, "This is something I have to deal with on my own," with that he shoved through the fangirls—with the help of his bodyguards—he made his way to the handsome blonde man with golden eyes.

For a moment, it seemed the world had faded as the two stared at each other. Yuki pulled out a cigarette admiring the view of his former lover. The brat stood there, his well toned arms crossed, purple eyes glaring, and a frown. Shuichi looked completely sexy.

Shuichi's bodyguards made a circle around them to keep the girls away. The now American Rock Star finally formed the words he wanted to say, "What do you want from me?" Shuichi growled, "Isn't it bad enough you made a fool of me in front of my fans!"

"You weren't the only one who was made a fool of," Yuki took another breathe of his cigarette.

"Well what you want to do to yourself on T.V. is your choice, but leave me the hell out of it." The black-haired baka began to turn his back on his lover. Neither man could ever realize how hard it was for him to do that... again.

"I want you to read this," Yuki stated as calmly as possible, though there was a slight quiver in his voice. Shuichi turned around to look at what was in the novelist's hands. "Before you get on that plane, read this." Everyone stared in awe at the book. Yuki had not wrote anything for so long, usually the fans would attack it, but everyone respected the love the two had and most knew Yuki was only able to write the book because of Shuichi, so he should be the first one to read it.

"You can't…" but he stopped when he saw that beyond the usual cold stare of his past lover was desperation. "Fine, I guess I can take the last flight out."

"But Shuichi," Hiro began, but Suguru grabbed his arm.

"Sit with me on the flight," the green-haired man practically pleaded as he looked into his lover's eyes.

Giving one last glance at his best friend, the red-headed man agreed, "Okay."

"Perhaps, you should come to my place for awhile." Yuki suggested walking towards his car. Shuichi thought about it for a moment. If I walk into Yuki's apartment will I be able to resist him? I am stronger then I used to be? He simply nodded, grabbing his duffel bag and heading out to Yuki's car.

The ride was quiet, which Yuki was still trying to get used to: a quiet brat. He missed the constant babbling, and meaningless chatter that was more of inspiration than he cared to admit. The silence got on his nerves, but he didn't want to do anything to upset Shuichi. So he supposed he could try… small talk.

"So, how was America?"

"As to be expected, but I suppose you would know. Weren't you just there?" Shuichi inquired.

"How did you…"

"You were on another stupid book tour." Shuichi slightly growled, a little pissed Yuki came to America for a book tour and not for him.

"Yes, that was one reason I was there." Yuki admitted as he unlocked the door to his apartment and recalled the main reason for the several tours in America. It had all been an excuse to find him. "Why don't you read that book now?"

"Fine," Shuichi tossed aside his bag, and then fell onto the couch, "not much has changed."

"Not really."

"Guess you threw all of my stuff out." Shuichi slightly scoffed, running his hand through his black hair, the gothic bracelets clanging.

"Why don't you read that book? I'm going to work." Yuki stood up heading toward the study.

The lead singer of Tragedy's Hope stood up in defiance. "Is this why you brought me here? To ignore me as always! I'm not in the mood to waste my time like this!" He followed Yuki down the hall, slamming open his old room's door on the way. Gasp…Everything was…the same. "What!"

Yuki sighed, stopping in the doorway of his study. He ran a hand through his blonde locks, "I had to beg your sister to not change a thing. She's more stubborn than you... she wanted to take it all, but I told her it would make everything… empty."

"Empty?"

"Yeah, would you read the damn book, brat…so we can move on?"

Still shock to find that Yuki had not thrown a thing out, he just simply replied, "Fine."

Opening up the book, Shuichi began to read:

Chapter One:

My life had seemed to end for me at a very young age. It seemed all of my joy had been stolen away from me. For years, I couldn't understand why this had been taken away from me. I met Yuki Kitazawa while I was in New York and it seemed those moments were going to be the best days of my life….

Shuichi wanted to throw the book out the window. He did not want to hear how Yuki loved his precious tutor more than anyone. How his betrayal was the reason why he could not seem to move on with anyone else. Why the hell was Yuki making himself out to be a victim? He knew the pain Yuki suffered and he understood, but who was he to keep living like this, but then again… that was one of the reasons Shuichi had not been able to stay with him. Yet… it was one of the things that made Yuki his Yuki. He sighed and went back to reading the book again.

I had no shame in running around with women, their company was pleasant and they offered themselves to me. I found it just became part of my numbing routine. Cigarettes, beer, sex, and writing my next novel was all my life was. I didn't really think on whether it had a meaning or not, it didn't matter. It was my life; I could do whatever I pleased. If I wanted it to be meaningless or meaningful that was the way I would live. Sometimes, no matter how much you try to keep things as they are fates are cruel and have other plans.

Chapter Seven:

He stepped into my life… no correction he crashed into my life. He was annoying, whining, and a complete obstacle in the way my life was going, which would have never been if the brat could have taken an ounce of criticism.

So I am really about to find out what you thought of us. Shuichi thought as he held the book at the page he was at. He did not want to cry, but a tear fell onto the page. He shook it off. I got to finish this book, I have to know…

The idiot had jumped in front of my car! I couldn't believe it! I never met somebody so stupid or careless in my life. I got out of my car and glared harshly at him. He stood their there, completely defiant of me.

"If you want to die, don't do it in front of my car." I told him. He breathed harshly and was completely soaked. I have to admit even then I thought he was kind of cute.

I brought him into my house and got him a towel, which I threw rather harshly at him. He was getting on my last nerve.

He indeed was getting on his last nerve, he had tried to be polite while Yuki was mean. He continued to flip through pages.

Chapter fourteen

The first time was just sex, just like several times after that. Though, I felt I was becoming addicted to him. I was starting to enjoy the taste of him and only him. Eventually the amount of lovers at my door began to fade, there was less and less each week. Then there was none, but him. In time he became my only lover, then one day I made love to him.

My lips gently caressed his skin softly as I made my way down his chest. I tried to devour all of him, he was so delicious. Then I stopped for a moment to look into his eyes. I supposed right there was my mistake, I have never seen such a look in any of my other lovers before pure, trusting and…dare I say loving. Then I had a desire to kiss him on the lips, a gentle kiss that wasn't out of pure lust but something I would never be able to comprehend. After that I let my lips trail all over his body, before making my way to his zipper.

"Yuki!" he pleaded, "Don't make me wait! Please…I need you." I chuckled a little bit before unzipping him and yanking his pants off.

"Brat," I said affectionately. After some more foreplay I finally was inside of him and never felt such satisfaction before with anyone else. I knew at that moment this couldn't continue.

As I finally came and grunted, and he gave his usual declaration of love, I began to contemplate on how to seriously end this before it was too late… though it seemed it may had already been too late.

Yuki stepped out of his study for a moment, to see Shuichi intensely reading the book, a somewhat upsetting expression on his face. "Damn, it just seems to be upsetting him," he whispered to himself, "Maybe I should…no I can't." With teary eyes, Yuki turned away.

Chapter Sixteen:

Everyone had told me that he was bad for me. I should just break up with him. I didn't really care what they thought, but it seemed to be too much to be with him. It seemed to be too much work to be.

Shuichi's heart ached: this was the part where Yuki decided to go to New York to end his life.

Chapter 20:

Then he came back, that annoyance rescued me or cursed me… no he let me curse him. He loved me for whatever reason. He willing to took on pain for and because of me. I do not have much for him, but if I had to choose I'd give what's left of me to him. I lived my life in the past too long. And I have been broken, some of it I had no control over, other damaged was by my own doing, but I want to give all the pieces to him. I'm not good at saying I love you. I find the words cliché and meaningless, but I'll offer this to you Shuichi Shindo, the broken pieces of my heart.

Shuichi shut the book the tears had fallen down his cheeks, and he had forgotten all his angry.

"Yuki," He called, wandering down the hall.

"What do you want, brat?" Yuki came out of his study with a cigarette, trying to calm his nerves. When he saw Shuichi he could not help but smile a little, he knew that look. That pure expression of deep devotion, Shuichi was his again.

"I want…what's left." Years of tears fell from Shuichi's eyes, "I couldn't stop loving you Yuki." He fell on his knees and Yuki got on his.

"Baka, you already had it." Wrapping his arms around Shuichi, he whispered, "Now I' like to take what's left of me and enjoyed all of you." The blonde began to kiss him along the jawline, "My brat."

"Yeah and I bet you'd like to know where my second tattoo is!" Shuichi teased cheerfully, looking at his lover with bright violet eyes.

Yuki smirked, "I believe I'm going to find out real quick." He took his lover in his arms—who clung onto him for dear life— and headed towards the bedroom.

Tragedy's Hope

Yuki softly laid Shuichi on the bed and removed his shirt. The black haired brat looked up at him with complete love. "You're still damn good looking!"

The past consumes

Making up one's desires

The blonde smirked, "Here I was thinking that I was going to dislike the boldness in you, but now I see that there are benefits." He got onto the bed and was on his knees, hovering over his little lover.

Something beautiful comes in

But you are already devoured

"Oh, there are benefits!" Shuichi smirked, still looking at his lover.

By the past you're lost in

And one supposed

"Yes, there are several benefits I have been wanting to enjoy." Yuki grabbed his lover's shirt and yanked it off. And admired his chest, "I have to say you are pretty good looking too."

The hold it had you

Would eventually fade

"Hey!" Shuichi whined, "I always thought I was good looking."

With the love that was taking over

But the sorrows cling to your heart

"No, you were a scrawny little brat who had hardly any muscle at all." The older lover remarked his as he leaned in for a kiss.

Oh Tragedy

Falls on you

"That's not what you said before!" Shuichi complained, "You said you thought I was cute!"

It takes over so many lives

Making you forget how to live

"And annoying, as I see your still are," with that the golden-eyed man silenced his lover with a passionate kiss.

Will you ever breathe again?

"Yeah, but I'm your annoying brat." The black-haired man remarked before another kiss was placed on his lips.

Because Tragedy's Hope

Is that love will take control

Yuki then began to softly caress his lover with kisses along his jaw line. He did not want to discuss anymore, he just wanted to feel and he wanted Shuichi to feel what it was like to be missed.

Though, time was given

Cause love didn't want to leave

"Yuki…I…," Shuichi moaned, "love you." The older lover just continued with his masterful work as he made his way downward.

But even the strongest can fall

Love will try to hold on

"Yuki," The man pleaded into a moan, "Stop!" Golden eyes stared into violet.

Until the hope fades from your lover's eyes

"What's wrong?" he inquired with a frown.

"I want…to…need," Shuichi said in a breathless tone.

It takes over so may live

Making you forget how to live

"What do you want brat?" Yuki kissed him softly once again.

Will you ever breathe again?

"I…want to make love."

Because Tragedy's Hope

Is that love will take control

"That's what were doing, idiot!" with that Yuki began to unzip Shuichi.

And the heart turns into pieces

And they just won't mend on their own

"No!" The black-haired man said, firmly pulling himself up and looking up at gold with bright hopeful violet eyes. "I need to make love to you! Please Yuki, let me."

So pain takes over

Devouring the life of love

Finally registering what his lover wanted, he slowly nodded. He never let anyone have control before but… this was Shuichi.

That is waiting on one last hope

He let his lover switch positions with him where now he was kneeling over him. Shuichi smiled.

Oh tragedy

Falls on you

"I see," Yuki teased, "you really did learn some new tricks."

It takes over so many lives

Making you forget how to live

"Oh yes, I did and I'm ready to try them out," the black-haired man leaned in for kiss, and noted the tension that rolled off in waves from his lover. He frowned.

Will you ever breathe again?

"I haven't been with anyone else, I couldn't," Shuichi assured, causing Yuki to ease up a bit, "And don't worry…I may not be perfect but I…," sitting back on his knees for a moment as he rambled on.

Because Tragedy's Hope

Is that love will take control

"Brat!"

Oh the hope I clung onto

"Yeah!"

Was that you would love me

"Shut up and get on with it, your showing your true idiocy again!"

Maybe that was a tragedy

"Oh, sorry Yuki," the man blushed a little, before kissing his lover's chest earning a slight moan.

And it still maybe but

After letting Shuichi make love to him, Yuki took his turn over and over again. "Hey brat!" He was now lying next to his lover looking at him with great admiration.

You can bring hope

"Yeah," Shuichi rolled over, gazing at his lover with pure adoration.

To my tragedy

"Why the hell did you tattoo such a crappy line to your ass. Now I have to be reminded of those dumb lyrics every time I make love to you?"

You can bring hope

"Oh! Yuki you called it 'making love," the man squealed with delight.

To my tragedy

"You're missing the point!"

Bring hope to my tragedy

"No, un nuh," Two hearts appeared in Shuichi's eyes, "Yuki loves me!"

You gave hope to my tragedy

The blonde chuckled, "Guess you'll always be my brat, no matter what," with that Yuki gave Shuichi a love peck on his cheek, "I love you."