(A/N) Sorry for the long wait. I have a life. For the boys who are reading this, it may be a bit disturbing to you. Just bear with me.

Orochimaru enjoyed being tied to the chair a bit too much, so they unwrapped the rope around him, opting for a straight jacket. Chains or anything else would have brought on more bondage comments.

"So, the plan is to wait?" Naruto asked, disbelieving.

Orochimaru was struggling against the straightjacket.

"Yes," Kakashi said, proud of his ingenious strategy.

Naruto sighed.

"I have to go to the bathroom," he mumbled.

Seconds later after entering the bathroom, he screamed. Everyone ran to the room (well, except for Orochimaru) and knocked on the door. Naruto flung the door open, his face panic-stricken.

"I'm bleeding from the ass!" he cried.

Sasuke , Sakura, and Kakashi stared, dumbfounded.

"Why am I bleeding from the ass?!" Naruto shouted.

"Don't tell me…" Sakura muttered.

Naruto shook her.

"What's going on?!"

"Um, Naruto," Sakura said. "You're having your period."

"What?" Naruto asked, clueless.

He clearly didn't know about the female body.

"Um, I can't tell you without being graphic," Sakura said," but it's because you didn't get pregnant."

"You mean I have to get pregnant to stop bleeding?!" Naruto asked, panicking again.

"Well, I wouldn't suggest it," Sakura muttered. "But you can't really stop it."

Naruto began pulling out his hair and running in circles.

"What do I do, what do I do…?" he kept asking.

"Naruto, calm down, you're giving me motion sickness," Kakashi said.

"You can't stop it, but you have to prevent it from getting on your clothes," Sakura said. "We're going shopping."

Naruto brightened up.

"For ramen?"

"No."

Naruto began to run in circles again. He wasn't taking the news well.

-0-

"So, you got your pads and tampons," Sakura said, holding them up.

Naruto examined them.

"What do they do?" he asked.

"Well, you put the pads on your underwear," Sakura informed. "And you insert the tampon… um… up your… well, I think you can figure it out…"

Naruto had to think about it for a while. Then it came to him.

"UP MY ASS?!" Naruto shouted.

People turned them, giving them looks.

Sakura sighed.

"Yes."

"I'll take the pads," Naruto said, not wanting anything shoved up his ass.

Sakura nodded.

"We should also get new clothes," Sakura said, looking at the orange tracksuit Naruto still wore.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because, girls don't wear orange jumpsuits," Sakura stated as if talking to a small boy.

"I don't see why not," Naruto said, looking his clothes over.

As you can see, Naruto is not a very good girl.

-0-

Sakura and Naruto returned to his apartment with a new wardrobe and other more… personal items. It seems they interrupted a very important conversation.

"Remember anything?" Kakashi asked, more focused on his perverted book.

"No," Orochimaru said, finally giving up on the restraints.

"How about now?" Kakashi asked.

"No."

"And now?

"No!"

There was a long pause.

"And nooow?"

Orochimaru's eye twitched.

"Um, Kakashi-sensei, I don't think that's working," Sakura said, stating the obvious.

"So what do we do?" Sasuke asked.

"How about torture?" Kakashi asked, though no one could see his smile through the mask.

Everyone stared and Kakashi shrugged his shoulders.

"Just a suggestion," he said.

"Actually, that's a good idea," Sakura said. "Why don't you read your book aloud?"

"I don't think that would be torture…" Kakashi said indignantly.

The three other ninja glared at him.

"Fine," he said. "'Ai was walking through the streets, searching for her lover, Kosuke'…"

"No!" Orochimaru cried. "Heterosexual relationships burn my ears!"

"Then remember!" Naruto shouted in his ear.

"I can't!" Orochimaru shouted back.

This continued for a while. That is, until Orochimaru finally cracked.

"I remember!" he shouted.

"Okay, here's the plan…" Kakashi said.

"Um, we don't really need a plan," Sakura said.

"Oh, okay," Kakashi said, disappointed.

Kakashi really wanted to show his intellect. Too bad.

Now they had to get down to business.

(A/N) So, how was it. Good? Bad? What? Tell Me! Review for three wishes!