When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low

And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow...

She should not have come.

The halls of the king's palace, once swarming with an endless flow of her people, were quiet now as they returned to their homes. She knew dusk was slowly approaching, but the sun still bathed the sky a vibrant orange. For a moment she glanced out the window, seeing through her reflection to the far away memories she retained of this place. She had almost forgotten how strange and wonderful this world was, with its endless day and warm colored firmament. Her home world was the complete opposite of her new home-- a place of endless night and countless stars resting at the center of the Silver Millennium. Yet she could not deny, when the neighboring sapphire and emerald planet came into view in the sky, the small moon was beautiful in its own way.

"Does anyone else want their fortune today?" a voice from within the next chamber called out.

The uninvited guest pulled her eyes from the scenery to the nervous pageboy, who shifted beneath his springy copper curls in front of her. His eyes darted back and forth, words sticking on his tongue.

"Answer her," she urged, her strong voice contradicting her weakening knees.

"Yes my Queen," the boy answered, his voice wavering. "Only one."

"So be it. Come in, please."

The silent customer obliged, passing through the glistening bead curtain as wind passes musically through the trees. The room was soft and inviting, and under normal circumstances she would have stopped to glance around and take in all the things the child in her now missed. But there was only one thing that truly needed to be seen.

In the room, the Queen Regent of Venus stood with her back turned, the light outside creating a corona of gold around her shapely form. She was looking through the glass as well, and her guest wondered, if for a moment they had been remembering the same old scenes. She looked as strong and beautiful as ever, but her quiet company knew better. The years had pushed down hard on those bronze shoulders, but the queen had not wavered enough to let it truly show.

"The hour has grown late, but I promise my fortune for you will by no means be less potent as the first I gave hours ago," the queen said, adjusting her golden crown in the glass. "But still, you shouldn't have waited so long. I understand learning your fortune can be daun-"

At that moment the sovereign of Venus turned, her golden eyes connecting with eyes that sparkled bright-blue. Whatever comfort there was in this place, it was no more as recognition and uncertainty took hold of the monarch. Even as ruler of this world, she seemed to have no more reign on her emotions than the young woman standing before her. Her silent companion watched as she wrestled with joy and sorrow. There was a sparkle of hope as well, but it was wholeheartedly ignored.

"Venus," the Queen greeted, bowing gracefully and breaking the recent arrival's heart. Fingers wrapped in long gloves closed, forming shaking fists.

"Mother...please, do not call me that," she said sternly, or at least attempted to. At Venus' proclamation a rush of fabric and chains assaulted her ears as she soon found her face buried in thick sun kissed hair. She accepted the embrace with a trembling sigh, smiling in relief. The tension in her muscles relaxed as she breathed in the fresh smell of baby's breath perfume, memories of moments like this calming her shaking nerves.

"Oh, Loni," her mother whispered, pulling back. "It's been far too long."

"Four years," she replied, hoping saying such would make the burden easier to bare. It only seemed to make it more real.

"Seeing you in holo-messages hasn't been the same as having you here to the senses. And look at you! You're more beautiful than they show. If you ask me, they're not very flattering at times," the queen admonished, pulling her away at arm's length to see clearer. Venus' cheeks flushed slightly, and she couldn't stop her eyes from rolling.

"Mother..."

"Have you seen your father?"

"No, I came straight here."

"Oh, he misses you so, and so does Ashani. She's just as beautiful as her older sister. Marc won't admit it, but I know he misses you as well."

"I expected to see Ani here with you."

"She was here all day. I let her leave an hour ago for she was growing tired. She's a very excellent helper but," the queen paused, awkwardly glancing away from her eldest daughter, "she has no skill for the art, I'm afraid."

"I see. What will you do then?" Venus asked.

"Oh, do not fret yourself over it, my love. There are plenty of Venusians with the skill to be my successor someday. But come; tell me what you are doing here. Not that I am not thrilled to have you home. How long will you be staying? I wasn't aware of any missions coming to Venus."

This was it, then. She should not have come here, but it was too late to turn back now. "You know why I'm here, Mother."

At her quiet words, her mother's smile quickly dropped, and dark lines of disbelief crossed her brows. "Loni...no..."

She had accepted her fate as a Sailor Senshi. Her duties were not envied by those who truly understood what it meant to bear that destiny, but they were hers. She took comfort in the fact that she was chosen, that no matter how hard it got she would survive, for she alone was made for this role. The moment she set eyes upon her charming charge, she fell in love with the innocent Princess of the Moon. There was such love in those eyes, and she knew her life would not be wasted protecting someone with such heart. And there was more than companionship between her fellow soldiers. They were sisters, common stars meant to shine together forever. With them it was easy to forget how much their lives would never be normal. But when she was alone, she began to remember.

"I dream of him even though I have no idea who he is. It's tearing me apart, seeing him there but not seeing at all. I want to be free of this- to know who he is and move on! I have chosen my fate, but I can't let go until I know the truth. I realize I am taking a great chance here, and I know it will be harder to let him go, but I am willing to face the consequences. I am strong, but I know if you don't show me, he will haunt my dreams forever, and I'll go insane. Don't you understand? I just...I have to! It is foolish I know, but I need to do this."

The proud queen dropped her eyes to the ground, letting her fatigue finally slump her smooth shoulders. For a moment she stood there forlornly, before slowly accepting both their fates. She walked to the table nearby and sat down, and Venus was now hesitant to follow. The comfy chair seemed to dig into her skin as she fell into its embrace. She placed her hands serenely into her lap as she looked into her mother's eyes, finding them churning with worry. The warrior of Venus expected her mother to make one final plea, but the woman only smiled sadly, twisting the dazzling ring on her slim finger.

"Love is often foolish."

Venus watched as her mother slowly set to work, her hands moving over items littered across the table. They were ancient and beautiful; passed on from mother to daughter for many generations. Venus watched nervously as she added spices and gems to the crystal clear bowl of water between them, only vaguely aware of what some things meant.

Her mother was a Matchmaker in all senses of the word. Many with the skill lived on Venus, but her mother came from the most gifted house. She had won many favors with her specialty, but none so great as the golden prize perched atop her matching tresses. Venus often wished she had been there when her father, the king, came to receive his fortune and saw his Matchmaker's face in the water. Her father was a proud man, and seeing him speechless was a rare sight. She missed seeing her father and her family, yet that was just the beginning of things missed for the Senshi of Venus. Being the eldest daughter, she should have been the one to continue her mother's esteemed work. But she was taken to the Moon and her princess before she could be taught the mystical art properly. Sometimes however, she could feel emotions and thoughts of others, but her powers were raw and unrefined.

"Look Loni," her mother said, much sooner than she was ready to hear. "You must choose duty or love. It cannot be both. It will destroy you if the two are to meet. So look if you must, but only see to see. It is all that you can do."

"I know," she replied, and ever so slightly moved forward in her chair. She didn't give herself time to think and turned her eyes down to the pool of water. The mist dancing across the surface parted obediently, letting her gaze at the future she could never have.

His eyes were blue, so clear she could see everything. A handsome face held a look of honor and power, but with eyes so transparent she could see he was too humble and devoted to be harsh. His hair seemed spun from the white clouds aloft outside, falling in straight lines to caress the gray fabric of his uniform. He was tall and proud, towering over his fellow man but never oppressing them.

She watched as he rode through deep green forests on a swift mount while enormous wolves flanked him on his hunt. She could feel his excitement at such a simple thing, could feel his happiness at the wind caressing his pale skin. She watched him talk and laugh with shadows, but he always seemed to find a corner in their small circle. She felt him worry and doubt himself, but there was too much strength for him to give up.

His eyes suddenly looked up at hers, and she found the very breath in her lungs frozen stiff. It was as if he could see her, even though she knew it was impossible. She began to hear his voice floating through her ears, whispers strong with meaning. They were of soft promises and confessions, and then she only felt one emotion above them all -- love. His love. It was powerful, more powerful than any love she ever felt for anyone. It was demanding and passionate, possessive and protective. It was a steady rock as her whirlwind life consumed them, and it was a quiet night amongst the stars. It was everything she had ever hoped for. He was everything. She closed her eyes, letting the feeling wash over her as long as possible. She didn't want to let go, but she knew she must. It was meant to be, but it could never be for her, for Sailor Venus.

With a strangled gasp she broke the connection, her body instantly becoming cold and empty. She glanced up to find the image of her mother blurry and distorted, and realized tears had formed in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away. His whispers began to ebb like ocean tides to leave the room in complete silence.

"Now you know," her mother whispered.

"Yes, now I know. I must go, for they will wonder where I have disappeared to." she stood up, even though half of her wanted to stay. But she let her leadership role cover her like a steel blanket, pushing emotions and cares out of the way for duty, like so many times before. "Please do not tell the others I was here. It would break their hearts to know I did not visit them. I am sorry I cannot stay...I love you Mother. Thank you for understanding."

Quickly she traversed the circumference of the table and gave her mother a loving peck on the cheek before turning to go. She wanted to leave as fast as possible before either woman could break down and ruin whatever resolve concerning her emotions she had at that moment. It was for the best.

"What will you do?" the question stopped her before she reached the door. She hated her mother for asking, but she could not blame her. She turned, but as soon as she did, she realized it was a mistake. The hope she had seen earlier returned to those golden pools. She could feel her mother's misery at having her eldest daughter planets and moons away, and knew deep inside that a part of her wanted her daughter to flee her destiny. She always knew her family would shelter her from the resulting tidal wave it would create, but she knew it would not solve anything. Running from something inescapable would only hurt everyone she loved.

"I will be Sailor Venus, as I was always meant to be," the words left her mouth with conviction, but she could feel a tug at her heart that wanted to disagree.

She could only believe what she had done here was for the best, that following her heart this one time had been the right choice. The knowledge of who he was, was all ready setting her free, but at the same time she could feel him chaining himself to her soul. He would always be there now, no longer a faceless ghost to haunt her every moment, but a real person somewhere out there in their vast space. And she could only pray his love would never be a burden…that her fortune would never become her curse.

"Goodbye," she said, and never looked back again.